Diet continues

As I am contemplating to break my potato chips avoidance because it does not seem to help me lose more weight, I was given a proof that there is another positive outcome when I went for blood donation this morning. My blood pressure was 106 which is back to my normal range. That was the first time in a long time that I was worried about fainting because for the past few donations, my blood pressure had been creeping up to 120+. Yes that is normal range but is considered almost 20mmHg increase from my normal. Because of this, definitely I will continue abstaining from potato chips for now. Hehe...

It was also the first time in a long time that the whole process took only 45 minutes. I think most people are going overseas for school holidays that the crowd was thin. No wonder I was able to book an appointment slot just barely two weeks ago. Haha.. 

I had a BBQ gathering with my church friends on Friday and it was a God-filled experience for me. I know some people who had been to CER and although they did not tell me what the activities were, they told me to just go and it would be a good experience. Because of that 'review', I went to kaypoh the facebook page of the Catholic Spirituality Centre. Now I find out that the registration starts about 1.5-2 months before the retreat. Since the next one is at end Aug, the registration should start end of this month until mid-July. Anyway it is registration for ballot which is not surprising since one of them told me that this retreat is very popular and she was even at waitlist during her time.

I find it crazy that I have actually started praying that I will be able to participate. I never even pray to win any ballot or lottery for money. Well since this is recommended by a priest, it is like my last resort to see if it can help me to overcome my giving up on life and wish of a youthful and early death. Seriously though, I think I have done well enough to remain faithful despite all the shit and bad cards that are dealt in my life so far. I cannot remember how many years it has been that all I ask from God is only for me to know my vocation and for health. Neither has been answered and I have given up. I never even pray for my future, wealth, a house, etc. Hence, there is nothing I look forward to other than an early death to set me free from this shitty life.