Death (wish) is defeated

I am so emo to the point of googling: Is it wrong to pray for my own death? As emo as it sounds, I believe everything is part of God's plan. I come across a website sharing that some biblical figures, other than Tobit, who had actually prayed for death too. Job prayed for death when he felt the suffering was too much. Moses prayed for death because he was tired being the leader of ungrateful and constant complaining people. Jonah was angry because God saved those he wished would be punished. Elijah would rather die than be killed by those wanting to kill me. If God did not grant what these holy people were asking, a sinner like me who is asking the same thing has zero chance to be granted. I surrender, Lord. No point for me thinking and asking for early death since I know it is not gonna come if it is not Your time yet.

Now it seems that my 'anyhow' answer for the grace of faith during introduction round at Sunday's pilgrimage preparatory session actually came from God. Now all I can pray for is indeed for faith that everything in my life is God's plan and everything will turn out good, and for faith that He will guide me to a future according to His plan too. Meanwhile, I can only pray for strength and patience until the time comes when everything is revealed to me and all the hardships I have gone through are not just senseless suffering.

I finally had a slip with my diet too. I had too many coins and decided to get the bottled mocha drink. Haiz.. I hope this was just a once-off and the temptations will stop. I thank God that I managed to resist buying Kettles after gym since today is the last day of sale (2 packs for $8.45). I even tried to 'bargain' that I should have a break and reward since I am just 1 kg away from my goal to have a break. I supposed the guilt from mocha helped me to resist not to fail twice. I checked the nutrition labeling of Kettles and wooo! No wonder I was damn fat and my blood pressure was going up when I could be eating 4 bags a week in past. Each bag contains more than 500mg sodium and 500kcal. I hope this is going to haunt me everytime I am tempted in the future.