Overwhelmed by negativities

I finally made peace with the fact that the prices of air tickets may not return to pre-COVID days anymore. I decided that I would use miles to redeem my flight back to Jakarta this March to spend almost 2 weeks of my expiring leave. It is painful to spend the miles I have been collecting for First Class just for Economy Class but I think it is worse to spend $500-$700 for Economy Class and it is worst to waste my expiring leave to do nothing here.

Sadly, I will not be going back for my birthday. From the day after my birthday, the ticket prices become more expensive. Apparently it is because the period is already close to Hari Raya which will be on 22 April this year. I am not going to use my miles for another Economy Class ticket.

Honestly, I was quite annoyed with my boss because initially I asked for permission to take my expiring leave for the last 2 weeks of March and continue with another 2 weeks for my birthday. At least it makes the cost of flight less painful. Well, my boss considered 1 month as too long. I really feel 'used' since if I am that important, I would not get the current treatment I have at work: the pathetic increment or the way she shared the annoying peer review feedback.

What irritated me more is knowing that she is planning to promote one of my team leads to become assistant manager. For the past 2 years, we have been wondering what that team lead is doing in terms of productivity. Even for the supposedly planning and organising stuff that he did not optimally do, I was the one tanking it. So what is the reason for his promotion then? I am not jealous that he is going to be promoted but I am unhappy with the message that she is sending. On my part, I feel the sense of injustice because I get nothing from tanking and covering his ass. Once he is promoted, his position will be the same as me so I will explicitly mention to my boss not to expect me to support the guy anymore, unless I am also promoted. It does not make sense for me to be supporting someone with the same position.

Few days after I redeemed my March ticket, I received an email that SQ will only be doing one final 6-month extension for miles expiring between Jan-Jun this year. That means I have over 100000 expiring miles. Sigh.. No choice but to plan to go to Japan to use the miles. Sadly, currently I can only find waitlists for First Class Saver. It is annoying that among so many daily flights, only a few are open for redemption. No wonder everything is also waitlist for First Class Saver or left with the Advantage. There are also no Suites for redemption to Japan. Sian.. Anyway my main aim is to experience The Private Room at Changi first so I am okay with First Class for now, provided if I can get. Haiz..

My new year resolution is completely trashed this week. Although I managed to resist bottled drinks, I had 2 cups of yuan yang this week sigh.. And I bought 5 packs of potato chips since I already finished the 2 cans of Donki potato chips which I bought with the intention for CNY stock. I actually finished one as dinner on Monday and I gave away the other can to my Landings friend. But on Tuesday after gym, I could not resist $3 for 4 packs of Meadows potato chips. Ironically, the discount was somehow not reflected at the cashier and I paid the full price ($1 each). I would not even buy if not because of the discount. I finished them in 2 days and that is why I bought another bag potato chips yesterday. This time it is for real for CNY lol. I also gave in to buy 2 bottles of drinks since I promised that I will start all over again tomorrow as CNY resolutions.

One good news from gym is that I just had my first back-to-back exercise days yesterday and today. Since the gym is closed for CNY, I decided to force myself to go again today. I was lucky because I could go due to system error: the slots which were supposed to be blocked off for the coaches' lunch time still appeared as available for booking. Haha.. No wonder somehow only these 2 slots were available until the very last minute. My strength for push up starts to recover and I tried the 7.5kg dumbbells again today. I have yet to regain the strength for pull up. Though I start to do jump pull again, I have not been able to do that for the full exercise and will request to regress to squat pull again halfway. Unfortunately none of these has any effect to my belly fats and weight :(

I delivered another presentation for an online seminar in Indonesia this morning. Yes not only it is a Saturday, it is also CNY eve. Well, they do not really celebrate CNY in Indonesia so that is why the seminar was this morning. Being my second time, I felt much more relax and confident with my delivery hehe.. Not to mention that the topic this time is very related to what I do for my daily work so I am more confident with the content too. I am very happy that the response was positive. One of the organisers even asked if we could keep in touch. Of course I don't mind to have future opportunity to give presentation. Even better if it is a sponsored one for me to fly home too.

Well the joy is short-lived because I know my boss is usually not keen on letting me do this kind of thing since it is more of helping other teams and not directly something that my boss' boss want to do. Anyway I have accepted that I would always get the short end of the stick since I am not the social butterfly kind at work. Just like how last year my colleague got to attend a conference in Bali and then came back with feedback that most people spoke Indonesian and it would have been better for someone like me to go next time. Pui... Should know from the start that even though it was an international conference, most attendees would still be from Indonesia ma. Some more it was still during initial period of COVID exit when international travel had not really returned to normal.

My aunt is not yet back from Australia so I have no visiting to do tonight. Sadly, my mood is completely ruined by my landlord who cooked this afternoon. Is it so difficult to fucking close the kitchen door fully??!! I even had to mop the oily kitchen floor since he would not and I am the one who will need to walk past the kitchen to go toilet. Sigh.. It is another reminder of fucked up my life of homelessness to bear this kind of thing since this is not my home after all.