I spent too much time for church stuff this December that I cannot wait for 2023 to cut things back down. Few people from my group are coming for the weekly Landings sessions. Thus I have been coming so that they do not feel alone. It is not that I dislike attending sessions. Just that normally, I will not attend every sessions religiously. In fact, I usually skip sessions during Advent. I honestly don't understand why Advent has to be in a rather somber mood. After all we are waiting for the coming of Jesus or to celebrate His birthday. Even the secular world is celebrating Christmas in a happy and festive mood. I just feel it is a disconnect to have a contemplative posture for such a joyous occasion. Not to mention that the songs usually used for Advent are so difficult to sing.
Other than the usual weekly sessions, each community took turns each week to host the others for their community sessions. I attended some to give face since after all, I am working with the coordinators to get updates for the quarterly bulletin. I also had to return the 'favour' to those who have been been very helpful so as not to burn any bridge and that they will continue to remain helpful. On top of these, there were penitential service, meeting, Saturday Novena and of course the usual Sunday mass.
Anyway I did not make it for this Advent confession. I thought it would be the usual one-to-one so I deliberately did not come on time. It turned out to be the one with the priest leading the whole congregation for some liturgy first. Sian.. It already started when I reached 10 minutes after the starting time and I decided not to enter. Perhaps now all the penitential service is like this? I cannot remember anymore since the last time I went for this type was before COVID. I was not too upset since I just had confession about a month ago during Landings retreat. In fact, I was more irritated with the fact that I wasted the effort to travel for it but did not make it. Some more I already deliberately wore a church-appropriate attire to the gym prior to it. Wasted.
Perhaps God also knew that I went to church too often. Hence, He wanted me to rest instead of coming for the penitential service. Some thing similar happened again on the following Saturday. I was so eager to make it for 2pm Novena after my volunteering session only to find out that that timing had been changed to Mandarin Novena! I swear that 2pm session was the last one to be resumed and originally it was not for Mandarin. I tried to see if I could tahan but after 5 minutes, I decided to leave. Hey, at least I gave a chance for the opening song and the initial prayer in Mandarin. With that, I suppose I can no longer attend Saturday Novena physically. I would be late for my volunteering session if I come for 8am Novena and I have to wait for too long to make it for 4pm Novena. I guess at least I am still keeping my promise to devote my Saturday to thank God since I pick Saturday morning as my regular volunteering time slots.
So thanks to COVID, I finally restarted my gym. Now I no longer need to wonder if gym is useful. After stopping for almost a year, I can feel a LOT of difference now. Previously I only hate pull-ups but now I cannot even do the push-ups. Haiz.. I also needed 3-4 days to recover in between sessions while I was able to do on alternate days previously. It is gonna be a looong way to return to my previous level before stopping. That is if I can ever return since my body is also aging.
My year-end period was rather slack this year since most of the appraisals were done by the team leads. Yay! All the grooming effort for the past years finally bore its fruits. Ironically, my throat was sore just after one day even though I did not have to talk as much as previously. Unfortunately, someone had to always spoil the party. I am never a supporter of a peer-review thingy because either some people are too nice that they would not want to criticise others or some will just bitch on any certain thing. I am the former as usually I am quite chill as long as they do their work and in return, of course I will get others bitching over me.
Someone commented that I never volunteered for some of the monthly tasks. Firstly, those who are 'freer' are supposed to volunteer for them and I am not free. Most of my tasks have deadlines and I sacrifice myself that the deadlines for myself are so tight simply to accommodate others who are usually late or taking their time to complete the step before me. Secondly, if you volunteer for something but are unhappy that others are not volunteering and hence you have to volunteer, that speaks A LOT about your volunteering.
Of course my initial reaction was anger and I wanted to bitch-hunt (not a pun because I am sure the writer is a bitch, not a witch). I was also thinking to retaliate by action: volunteering myself when those tasks came to prove this bitch wrong. After a few days, I calmed down and decided to just chill. If I got riled up, that means I prove to the bitch that I have been slacking all along and her comment is successful to make me take up those tasks. Hell no! Hahaha.. I am already busy as I am and I am not going to 'kill' myself just to prove someone wrong. Another thought was that perhaps I am lenient by giving 4s as long as someone is okay but perhaps the bitch's standard for okay may actually be 3s. Clearly I have aged a bit to be able to zen this episode out, though it still took me a few days to recover.
The best thing about this Christmas was that I won a lottery from an NFT project: 500 USD and few others NFTs. It has not covered the amount I invested but at least I started seeing some return of investment. It was my first time winning and usually I am not lucky for lottery, lucky draws and such so I was happy. With that, I also won a $20 Fairprice voucher during Christmas party at the place I am volunteering which I gave it away to one of the team leads. I knew they were not participating for the lucky draw so why not share some Christmas joy. Anyway I had already planned to give away if I won something since I knew I would not want to bring home some of prizes such as electric fan, electric pot, CNY hampers. Though in the end I won voucher, I did not let greed to overcome hehe..
After so long, the stupid me only learnt about the meaning of Boxing Day (which is the day after Christmas) this year. I have always thought it has got something to do with the boxing sports. The box actually refers to gift box. Lol. So it is supposed to be day when gift boxes are given out and opened by the recipients.
I did not go home this Christmas because the airfare was too expensive. Honestly it kinda sucked not to be home for Christmas. I went for my usual 7am mass since it was the first normal Christmas mass after COVID. Last year we still had to book our slots so as not to exceed the social distancing requirements. So I did not know if it would be crowded. More importantly, usually sleeping late after that would just ruin the following day. Have to accept that my body is not young anymore to tolerate that kind of hours. Haha.. I still had to complete my quarterly bulletin which basically took up my Christmas and Boxing Day evenings. At the end, I think it is ironic that with all the huff and puff during Advent and with me being active for church activities, I did not actually feel spiritually lifted up during this Christmas. Sigh.. or maybe it is just my emo self as usual
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