60 is the next goal

For almost 2 weeks, I could not get under 63kg and I was almost resigned to the fate that perhaps 63kg is the weight that I am meant to be. Thank God that I never surrender and keep marching on with my Lenten promise. Today I finally passed the 63 mark so I can aim for the next goal: 60kg. Hehe.. With WFH full time arrangement for the next 2 weeks, I can do intermittent fasting (except on weekends when I go for morning gym as I am scared of fainting to skip breakfast when exercising). I am tempted to couple the intermittent fasting with halving my food but I am still hesitant if that will be too extreme.

Although Singapore is not locking down, it felt already like a semi-lockdown today. I left home for gym today at 5pm to catch the 6pm session. That is the same cycle when I am working at the office. The MRTs for both to and return journeys were less crowded than usual. There was no massive crowd at Fair Price and even the traffic on the bus ride home was quite empty. Honestly I feel quite shiok to have life slowing and quietening down for a while. Hehe..

Special Urbi et Orbi

Urbi et Orbi is a special papal blessing usually given at Christmas, Easter, and after election of a new pope. Today is a special day because Pope Francis did a special Urbi et Orbi to pray for an end to the current coronavirus situation. It was at 6pm in Rome (GMT +1) which was 1am here this morning. I would rather be sleeping and I initially did not care about it. In fact, I was so irritated with the bombardment of whatsapp messages about this in my family groups.

Man proposes but God disposes. I spent my past few Friday nights watching my Thai dramas and that was the plan last night. Unfortunately, there was a Windows Update and my fucked up laptop was damn slow for the updating. While waiting for the updating to complete, it went past 1 am and that was how I ended up following the Urbi et Orbi. Initially I could not find a youtube live broadcast with English subtitle  but I was glad that on a second try, I found one by EWTN. There was no subtitle but there was an English narrator to translate real time. The woman has a very soothing voice and the whole experience feels like a prayer session rather than a news session so kudos to the woman.

It was indeed a blessing and special experience for me. The Gospel reading was only 7-verse long (it is the story of Jesus calming the storm) but Pope Francis' homily covered the details commonly glanced over such as 'When evening came..' and 'Do you not care?' and relate it to what the world is facing now. It is a powerful image to see the Pope leading a prayer in the never-empty St Peter's Square. It is a grim reminder that it takes an invisible virus to bring the world to a halt and bring humanity to its knees to return to God. After the homily, the Pope prayed in front of Salus Populi Romani and Miraculous Cross of San Marcello. They were brought around the city of Rome in prayers to end the plagues in the years 590 and 1522, respectively. An Eucharistic adoration then followed at the atrium of St Peter's Basilica and the Urbi et Orbi blessing marked the end of the prayer.

Too bad that the Cross is blocked by the pillar from this angle

One thing that made me happy to belong to the Catholic Church is regardless of the location, the prayers are universal. The Benediction and the Divine Praises are the same with the Eucharistic adorations that I attended before. Urbi et Orbi blessing comes with plenary indulgence. I am not too familiar with the 'rules and regulations' surrounding it so instead of being too focused on the blessing, I just pray as usual and so be it.

I visited my aunt to deliver the stuff I brought from my trip to Jakarta during my friend's wedding this January. I ended up staying there for 5 hours and being overfed. I bought lunch from the hawker centre near her place and I agreed to share oyster omelette with her even though I was supposed to avoid eggs. I wanted to leave at 2pm but she said I already promised to stay for beef steak pie that she brought from Australia for teatime. I thought we would be sharing the pie but it ended up just for me because she tried it before. Not to mention the additional teh botol, hibiscus tea, and cocoa drink that I had. It was my first time trying hibiscus tea which I find to taste more like a flower/fruit than a tea. Oooh lastly, she let me try some figs before lunch! That is my first time trying fig fruits. The sweet ones are very good but the not sweet ones taste like vegetable because of the skin. Haha.. I think they will definitely taste better when peeled.

I thought I would be full until tomorrow morning because of the overeating but nope.. I got hungry earlier and had 2 bananas for dinner.

500x

I completed my 500th gym session today. That is about 1000 minutes of HIIT, 1000 hours of commuting time, and more than $10000 of membership fees (although technically it is not $10000 yet since I am still in the midst of consuming my third membership fees).

I started in December 2016 and for someone averse to physical exercise in the past, it is a miracle that I can continue until today. Not to mention the 2 occasions of injury that required me to for physiotherapy as well. Oops. I don't think the injuries were the fault of the gym but more because of my aging since I only started having problems since late 2018.

Looking back, it is amazing that going gym for 500 times is still easier than controlling my diet 500 times. Sigh... My main motivation to start gym was to lose weight. That does not happen since I still continue eating rubbish. I will not say that gym is useless though because despite the junk that goes into me, I managed not to gain weight. The most notable effect for me is that now I can do some pull ups, something I could not do since secondary school. I do not think I have developed visible muscles but now my chest and shoulders are more straight because of the push ups and rows. In the past, I tend to slouch to 'hide' my moobs as well.

As a reward for reaching the 500th milestone, there is a T-shirt but since the L size was out of stock, I chose to wait instead of taking M or XL. Hehe.. On top of that is a voucher for a free smoothie.

The day I have been waiting for is finally here as my company finally declares a full work from home for the next 2 weeks. Hehehe.. The first thing that comes to my mind is that I can save up on my mask. Hold on... I still need to go to gym and after working hours is PM peak hours hor.. There is a temptation to skip gym but I also want to hold on to or hope to lose more weight during this time. The deciding factor turns out to be grocery shopping. Hehe... I still need to replenish my banana and red dragonfruit every 2 days so I still need to go out anyway. Might as well make an additional trip to the gym while doing that.

Mid-Lent

Yesterday was the 4th Sunday of Lent which marked the mid-point of Lent. I am still able to hold on and prevent my dietary relapse but it is getting more and more difficult. Things have not been well for me so there have been temptations for 'comfort food'. Yesterday's temptation was for 'self treat' since I have been doing well since Ash Wednesday. Thank God I am still able to resist and survive. Food aside, attending online Mass start to get more challenging as I was falling asleep yesterday. Sigh...

Work got somewhat shittier last week. I was (and still am) damn pissed with these idiots. They are still training for one of the modules and instead of being responsible for their own training and learning from their mistakes, they directed their frustration to me. What the fuck! They should be grateful that I bothered to even give inputs and explanations (which they interpret as me being nitpicky and finding faults). Even if I just make the corrections without any explanation, they would simply say no feedback. Last week was also KPI discussion so it was miracle that somehow I did not sound angry or scolding with each of them when discussing this.

The coronavirus situation is getting worse in this past week with Malaysia lock down, first death cases in Singapore, Singapore giving stay at home notice for all travelers (regardless where they fly from) and finally Singapore not allowing any more non-residents to enter and even transit. I am slowly adding to my pile of instant noodles or pastas with each development and now I have 10 packs. Quickly have local lockdown la! Otherwise all my dieting effort in the past month will be wasted if I have to finish them for the sake of finishing.

Enough of the emo stuff for now. Recently what taking my time is Thai dramas on Youtube. Previously I am only into Japanese dramas and I am never into Chinese, Taiwanese, or Korean dramas. I love Japanese dramas for the values (usually family or friendship stuff), which are usually touching and tear jerking, as well as the comedy. The Thai dramas that I am watching are also the funny ones. One thing that really stands out from Thai dramas is their positivity. I am not usually into romantic stuff but the romance in Thai dramas is really sweet. At times, too sweet until I have to surpress my giggles. Another cool thing about Thai dramas is that they are uploaded with English subtitles in Youtube very quickly.

Currently there are 2 series that I am following on Friday nights and 2 new series (just started 2 weeks ago) on Saturday. The Saturday new series are not as nice as the Friday series. Last last Sunday, I chionged a Taiwanese drama which only had 10 episodes with 10-15 minutes per episode. In the past week, I finished a Thai series which was completed in 2018. Haha I better don't start browsing related videos and start another new series.

After finishing FF VI book 2 weeks ago, I just finished Harry Potter A History of Magic. I regret buying this book as it is not according to what I imagined it to be. It is not exactly about Harry Potter universe as it is more about real life historical 'magical' artifacts which can be compared to the magical stuff in Harry Potter. Thus it feels more like reading an encyclopedia or visiting a museum exhibits instead of immersing to Harry Potter universe. Anyway, now I am moving to the next book which is the Film Wizardry of the Crimes of Grindelwald. I had not even taken off its shrinkwrap. Hehe..

With Tokyo Disney Resort extending its temporary closure due to coronavirus, its official Youtube channel is uploading montages of the shows which are intended to have their run date ending during this closure period. I find the song for It's Very Minnie to be very addictive leh! Anyway they are very stingy as the video will only available until 30 April only and it is not even the full show!

Sadly, I just found out that Ariel's Greeting Grotto at Disneysea is also permanently closed. Huhuhu so I really missed the chance of taking a picture with her Christmas outfit last year.

Test of faith

Troubling times are also times when faith is being tested. Should we have complete faith and disregard reality? Or should we be pragmatic and appear not completely faithful? Or is there a middle ground? Two weeks ago, it was announced that Masses will resume this weekend. It was interesting to see all the extreme comments towards that news: either full support 'God is greater than virus' or full against 'The situation is not getting better and you want to take a risk'. Many fail to see the middle ground that the Archbishop still gives the dispensation for attending Mass online for those unwell or uncomfortable with large crowd gathering yet. Last week things went south and Mass suspension will continue instead of resuming this week. Now the extreme comments become 'Why do we let Satan beat our faith with this virus and fear'. Sigh...

I personally feel that the situation is not conducive yet to resume large crowd gathering. I was not too happy with the news two weeks ago already I decided that I would still attend online Mass until situations improve. Well the options were there so I was not that bothered. The reason of my unhappiness was on the risk taken. Irresponsible people are around (even before the Mass suspension, there were people coughing and sneezing without any restraint) and with the situation does not seem improving, it is just a walking timebomb before a churchgoer becomes a new epicenter.

I am happy that I finished all my travel expenses although the numbers made me emo. On average, each overseas trip cost me close to 5k. In total, I have spent around 35k since my very first trip to Japan in 2015. A part of me agrees with my dad's nagging that travelling cost a lot. Most part of me, however, is having no regrets. The memories and the photos are priceless since I cannot turn back time to become young and youthful anymore. Perhaps I should cut down on the toys shopping and the souvenirs shopping is definitely a waste of money. Souvenirs shopping is just for the 'face' and on the hindsight, colleagues are just fake people.

Haiz.. I know I am still very pissed with my colleague la.. I feel as if God keeps telling me through the homilies of Novena yesterday and 3rd Sunday of Lent homily to forgive. No wonder the Psalm 'O that today you would listen to His voice, harden not your hearts' always hits me hard.

It was only yesterday that I was still holding on a hope of going home in April and that is no longer impossible today. Singapore has announced 14 days stay at home notice (SHN) for ASEAN countries. I do not even have a home here and SHN is just impossible. I cannot be stocking up 2 weeks worth of stuff and most important, I do not want to put my landlord and landlady at least. Otherwise, I don't know where to go if I get kicked out. This makes even more emo and angry at my state of homelessness. Sigh.. I should have returned home and settled my driving license over this weekend since it is already within a month of expiry and the SHN starts tomorrow at 1159pm. Technically I could have renewed my driving license and avoid the SHN if I return tomorrow morning. Hindsight is always 20/20 :(

More WFH

The COVID-19 situation is not getting better as it has been declared a pandemic a few days ago. It has spread to all over the world and caused panic everywhere with the lockdown in Italy, the US banning travels from Europe, and the stock market crashes. On the more positive side, at least my WFH still continues. Hehe.. SGD is weakening against USD and JPY so perhaps the time to change my leftover cash is coming, especially for USD that I have been waiting for years to reach at least 1.45.

Last week, I received email about SQ 20% off and I was tempted to buy ticket for April. Thank goodness that I decided to hold on first. With the situations rapidly changing, I was planning to buy it this weekend as the sale is ending in the middle of next week. Looks like I will have to just wait until very close to Good Friday to make the decision. Honestly at this point of time, I am prepared to lose my driving license :( I am only renting a room first and I cannot take a chance with 14 days of stay at home notice if the situation evolves this way in a month time.

On the first few days of WFH, I was worried about the need of snacking. Now I am hoping that this WFH continues because so far I already lost almost 4kg. Hehe.. I put a bit of restrain with my meat avoidance for this week while keeping my half portions for breakfast and dinner when I am at home. I realise that I am close to doing intermittent fasting as usually I have my dinner at around 8pm and then my breakfast at 10am when I am at home. Perhaps that helps too! I shall continue with trying to avoid meat again for the coming weeks.

Another change that turns out good after some adjustment is my daily rosary. Due to lack of eye breaks when I am working at home, my one decade per break also does not happen. Previously, it was so difficult for me to sit down to pray the whole rosary in the evening as I would end up falling asleep or distracted. That no longer happens this week. I guess after a good afternoon nap, I am not that sleepy in the evening.

This year my PR renewal went through smoothly and now I am tempted to just quit my job and enjoy life for a few years before starting to find again so that I can renew again. If that fails, I am okay to balik kampung although I prefer my original plan to always die young. The friction I feel with my colleagues still continues and I do not need all the drama. Seriously ah this one bitch, I don't know what went into her suddenly. We expect disagreement at work and we have workflow on that. If discussion to reach agreement fails, we are supposed to ask another person and majority wins. She just went all out bitch mode when we did not meet eye to eye. She even wanted to invoke standardisation which obviously failed because she just felt personally attacked with my differing view and failed to see that what she proposed for standardisation is not what we have been doing anyway.

Anyway I am already older and have learnt the art of walking away from inconsequential confrontation. I said what I needed to say and subsequently, I will just follow majority or SOP or whatever to cover my backside. It is as simple as that and I avoided retaliation just for the sake of ego. Although I can show 'walking away' externally, I am still brewing anger internally la. Lol. Seriously, bitch, just quit the job and take care of your kid la. Don't be an asshole to fill in the headcount but only working 4 days a week and now showing shitty attitude that destroys trust and teamwork.

I never work in a male environment and I wonder how it is. I have always been in a female dominated fields and it is same shit but different flavours. Females always have herd mentality and cloud their judgements without realising how stupid and inconsistent they are with different answers with different scenarios even though initially they say they want 'standardisation'. Okay, that's majority but not ALL. I have also come across great female bosses and usually these are those objective ones.

Nutritional imbalance

Changes are uncomfortable. Surprisingly, although I am already used to and falling in love with the alternate day at office arrangement, I am still having massive mood swings in the past week. After thinking further, it seems that the main culprit is with my diet. In the past week, I only had my first rice meal on Friday and my first meat yesterday. I did not really plan to avoid rice or meat but somehow my diet just turned out that way.

It is the second week of Lent and I am grateful that I am still able to keep my dietary abstinence. So far it is clean sheet away from junk food, fast food, and food delivery for dinner. On the working at home days, I actually halved my breakfast and dinner and avoided meat for lunch. It may seem rather extreme but partly I also want to lose weight. This may be the main reason and I need to be more reasonable for the coming week. Sigh.. the other side of me wants to continue since I am seeing positive results with the weighing balance is on the left of 65kg finally.

I went for blood donation today and it was my first time informed about ferritin test. Apparently last year I donated 5 times which is rather out of ordinary. With 12 weeks interval between donations, usually the maximum is 4 times a year unless when the first one of the year falls in January then it is possible to have the fifth one in December. My Hb is still above 16 (wow! considering how shitty my food is) though. Anyway the implication is if my ferritin is low, the interval for my next donation will be 16 weeks instead of 12 weeks. It was my first time going to Orchard since CNY and I think people don't give a damn about Wuhan anymore. It was super crowded and I am the one getting scared.

Because of the blood donation, today I had to excuse myself to have proper meal for dinner. Initially I still intended to perhaps have cereal and fruit, instead of the usual either one of them but I was awakened from my afternoon nap because of the hunger. I decided to 'listen' to my body. I managed not to order delivery and forced myself to walk to Thomson Plaza for dinner. So Lenten goals are still on track.

I am still in the progress of compiling my holiday expenses and I am currently left with my Australia (2016) and Japan (2015) trips. While I somehow got lazy with them, I finally finished reading The Legend of Final Fantasy books by Third Editions. So far there are 3 separate books for FF VI, FF VII, and FF VIII and it is almost a year since I bought them. Finally I manage to finish! I finished FF VIII first because that is my favourite series. I am stuck the longest with FF VII. FF VII is not just a game but a compilation of games, light novels, and even a movie so there is more content. The font is much smaller and I try not to just skim through because I am really curious to know about the story. Despite all that, in the end I still cannot remember what is going on and who is who and related to who hahaha.. I never played FF VII properly as I was rushing while borrowing my friend's gameshark. I played FF VII Crisis Core but did not remember much haha... I read FF VI last and it took me the shortest. The authors for each book are different and I think FF VI is the most rubbish. Instead of a proper research, I feel that the author is just smoking for most of analysis part. There are so many elements to the game and of course you can just smoke that that is inspired by religion, by World War II, and any random things that have similarity with the story line. Very meh. I hope if they release for the other FF, they do not get the FF VI author anymore.

'Third Editions' is the publisher.  Initially I thought I was missing stuff from the first and second editions. Silly me.

Haiz.. from checking my Amazon account to recall when I bought these books, I see that Yoshitaka Amano: Beyond the Fantasy Limited Edition is $77+ now. I bought it for $104+ last year leh.. Damn... I was expecting this as something that would sell out instead of going on sale -_-"

My nostalgia with the Prince of Tennis is still not over and I am catching up with the New Prince of Tennis. It is irritating that there is no singular amazing anime streaming database like KissAnime in the past. I have been using two different streaming databases which I cannot even recall the names as both are incomplete. I managed to find the Another Series OVAs but not the Another Series II. I have also finished the New Prince of Tennis OVAs and New Prince of Tennis Specials OVAs but now I don't know where to find the vs Genius 10 OVAs. I would like to catch up with the music as well but until now I have not even looked into my external harddisks to find my previous collection. From youtube, I found interesting classical and Christmas songs and Valentine Kiss is still being released annually. Wow!