Succumbed

I watched online daily Mass before I went to bed last night as I prayed for strength to decide on what I am supposed to do about my toys vs space woes. Upon waking up this morning, I decided to do the unthinkable: to cancel my Prime 1 Ikki pre-order. I am lucky that I can still cancel without sacrificing my deposit although I am still waiting for the refund. With that, I do not need to worry about space and about ordering Shiryu.

However, deep inside, I am still very sad about this. I have never cancelled any of my pre-orders before. This time is worse as it is not because I changed my mind about the item. I still want it :( It is just that I really have no space and it does not make sense to spend that much money only to store the statue in the box and the box in the storage locker.

It is ironic how during Landings on Monday I shared that somehow I felt spiritually better for no reason after Easter. Now I am relapsing to all my negative thoughts about wanting to die and pointless to live this homeless life. Everything just because of toys. Haiz.. Yet it is a reminder of my actual state of life and how I am really scarred mentally about it. Anything I try to avoid not thinking such is such a denial.

From tomorrow, Singapore is reverting back to Phase 2. I am happy to be able to work from home until the end of the month. That confirms that I will no longer need to see the leaving bitch at all. Hehehe.. Sadly, gyms become 'collateral' damage as they have to close. Funny because gyms were allowed to open during Phase 2 last year. All my arm strength for pull up and dumbbells will reset again. What I dread the most is having to exercise in my room again -_- Of course I can choose not to exercise since this time it is just going to be 3 weeks. But how to lose weight if I do not exercise.

In preparation of Phase 2, I decided to treat myself with buy 1 get 1 free bubble tea. This is from the stall that originally had this promotion when it just opened. After that, on random occasions I saw the 'buy 1 get 1 free' notice being put up again. I saw that on Wednesday and that was why I was thinking of getting today. Too bad, the promotion was not on today. Okay it seems that I am still able to continue my bubble tea abstinence. Hehe..

Things are different with junk food. I tried the new McD Chicken Cheese Burger and Pizza Shaker Fries on Monday. I also finally succumbed to the $7.60 for 2 bags of Ruffles. I was kiasi because I saw the shelves were relatively emptier than usual on Wednesday. I thought people were hoarding again in preparation of Phase 2. Rather than missing out, I decided to just get 2 bags even if they were the same flavour. Anyway the free Subway is as good as covering the $7.60 spent. Lol. Suprisingly I did not feel any regret after finishing those 2 bags. Until last month, I always felt regret after all the potato chips impulse buys. It was a good decision to buy since now I no longer feel any temptation for potato chips and I am quite confident that I can tahan until the next time Kettle is on sale. Hahaha...