Bowel prep

This bowel prep for colonoscopy is really a shitty matter. I don't know if I should feel regret for doing now or I should feel happy that doing this now will at least spare me for the next decade. The fasting is even more troublesome than fasting for Lent. I cannot eat vegetables, fruits, milk, wholemeal bread, and rough meat e.g. beef or pork. I was tempted to get salmon don yesterday but decided not too since it will be troublesome to pick up the cucumber bits. I bought the Taiwanese chicken cubes which I thought would come with plain rice. Instead, it was fried rice with bits of spring onion as toppings which was even more difficult to separate. I had plain bread for dinner which surprisingly still made me hungry although in terms of calories, the number of slices I ate should be comparable to my usual 2 bananas for dinner.

Today I had salmon sushi which luckily did not have any wasabi underneath. Worried that I would be hungry since I cannot eat anything else after my 6pm dinner today until tomorrow, I decided to get the Taiwanese chicken cutlet and cubes. My dinner would be plain bread as yesterday so I hoped the 'extra' calories from lunch would be sufficient.

Here comes the ultimate nightmare: the bowel prep regimen. I was supposed to take 2 packets of Fortrans with 2L of water at 8pm in one serving, followed by at least another 1.5L of water for the next 2-3 hours. My stomach was exploding after only 1.5L. So I only completed the 2L within half an hour. I was sitting in the toilet for the next half an hour. I did not expect it would be that fast but it helped the liquid to move down from my stomach as my stomach was no longer exploding. My worry comes true. Instead of solid, what coming out was only water. Where did my lunch go? Haiz... Is it stuck somewhere in my intestines? The water passing out is also different from diarrhea.  There was no sensation and the water just came out like waterfall. That was the reason I was just sitting at the toilet.

I did not think I would be able to take the additional 1.5L but I managed to do it between 10-11pm. I am not running to the toilet as frequently. In all, the end result now is my butthole is very sore T_T Damn it.

To make things worse, my landlord started cooking at 9pm. Seriously wtf. I hate the smell and the he did not clean the kitchen floor after making it oily. I had to mop it since I will walk through the kitchen to go the toilet. The cooking also made the toilet smell and my clothes stank of the food after I shit. Now I am washing my clothes and I don't give a damn about saving water and electricity.

I know this is just a small matter but it just feeds more negativity about my life in this rented place. A part of me wishes that I wake up in heaven after my sedation tomorrow. Somemore I dreamt about my dad last night. Is that a sign that he is picking me up tomorrow? Hehe.. Honestly if something happens and I have the vision of Jesus asking if I want to cross over, I will cross over and follow him. I do not know what will happen tomorrow and this may well be my very last post. I am not scared of dying but I am scared that I am too sinful to be in heaven. So my prayer and hope will be for God to forgive my sins and allow me to be with Him if I were not to wake up tomorrow.