Super tired

My aunt had a heart attack a few weeks ago when I was still in Jakarta. She was at TTSH until last Friday. I have been visiting her few times a week since TTSH is near and I don't mind checking out Donki at Novena afterwards. Since my cousin is based in Australia now, I feel some sense of responsibility to visit my aunt more frequently as she does not have that many relatives from her side of the family here. After my uncle's passing, most of my aunt's relatives here are those from my uncle's side. Although another aunt is temporary here to take care of her, she can only travel if someone brings her. They all stay in Hougang-Punggol area so it is not that convenient for them to come to TTSH, just like how going to SKH was really troublesome for me that I did not visit my uncle that frequent previously. Not to mention that I also owe my aunt a huge favour when I was COVIDed when I stayed at her place last year so just visiting her in hospital is not a big deal.

My cousin reached here on last Wednesday. My aunt was transferred to NUH and had her bypass on Saturday. Visiting her at NUH is convenient too since my gym is at Holland Village. Convenience is one thing but reaching home close to 9pm is taking a toll on me. Not to mention restarting gym after few weeks break also feels more tiring than usual. I am surprised that I still can do pull-up while my arms are trembling with push-ups and 2 x 5kg dumbbells. Things used to be the reverse in the past.

I learn that NUH visiting system sucks as compared to TTSH. The SMS system does not work in NUH unless you try to tap in. The thing is that upon registering, the machine already states if the quota is full. Naturally people will not try to tap in and just wait for the SMS which never comes. I only learnt about it today. I tried to tap in and after that I received the SMS. On Sunday and yesterday, I never received any SMS when another visitor left. I don't know if TTSH system works the same way but at TTSH, the machine does not state if visitor quota is exceeded so people will naturally try to tap in. So even if it works similarly like NUH, everyone will get the SMS since the design flow ensures everyone will try to tap in.

The visiting hours at NUH is longer (12pm to 8pm) which I think is because they only two freaking lifts for all the visitors after they pass through the gantry. It will easily take 15-30 minutes just for one visitor to exit and the next one to go up. Thank goodness I used to have attachment there that I know the stairs. When my aunt was still in ICU level 2 on Sunday, I gave up waiting for the lift after 10 minutes. Her general ward is at level 6 so I have no choice but to use the lift now hahaha.. But it seems that the visitors on weekdays are lighter than on the weekends so the wait was not so bad yesterday. In comparison, TTSH has 6 lifts after the visitors' gantry.

I went there again today but did not see her. I waited for more than half an hour and there were still 3 visitors ahead of me so I decided to leave and give chance to others. After all, I managed to see my aunt on Sunday and yesterday. I am happy that she is looking good on her recovery yesterday. She is no longer on injectable painkillers so she is more alert and less groggy than when I saw her on Sunday.

After my dad, my aunt is another reminder for me to just enjoy life. Sigh.. My aunt does not look like someone with typical risks of heart attack, she eats healthily, she follows her medical appointments and medicines diligently, and she even measures her blood pressure daily at home. Yet, somehow she ends up with some blockage and this heart attack. Although I am worried more about my fats from my frequent potato chips and fast food, I know they will adversely affect my heart too. Some more I have not been doing any medical check up since I changed job in 2018! I suppose I deserve it if I get some cardiovascular diseases when I grow older and all I hope is just a quick painless death when that day comes. I know I won't regret my potato chips since even when my dad and my aunt have such a healthy lifestyle, diseases still come to find them.

I am happy that I managed to complete the Easter Novena yesterday. I contemplated not to start to begin with since I was not sure if I would have the time for the daily Mass even though online Mass okay, especially with my hospital visits. Thank God for that although at the same time, I need to buck up with my commitment for daily morning (upon waking up) and evening (before sleeping) prayers which I have been doing 'anyhow' and not as intentional as previously.