Christmas in the air

I could smell Christmas in the air when I went and returned from the gym yesterday. Or perhaps it was simply because I do not need to work anymore for the rest of this year. I am starting to clear my annual leave from today. I was supposed to have a dental appointment this morning but it was rescheduled to Monday instead.

I feel more relaxed now after completing Landings bulletin and all the year end reviews at work. I can finally play my games and start to pack some of my toys to their boxes. I will be renewing my passport tomorrow and having decided to fly home, even if the hotel quarantine duration is extended, really puts me at peace from all the vaccination nonsense here. Thank God that my boss still allows me to keep my job and my landlord still allows me to pay rent for my room when I am away.

My team had a virtual Christmas party last week and it was one of the rare occasion when I won the lucky draw of $30. I was the second last name to be drawn and sadly this lucky draw had equal prizes. When lucky draws have increasing prizes and the bigger ones are called towards the end, I would not even win any. Haiz.. have to remind myself to be grateful. I also won $30 from the game. My internet was lagging or else I could won $50 if I volunteered earlier to be the drawer for one of the games. Again I was still lucky to come out 5th because I scored zero in the first game haha...

I finished my own year end review and it felt relaxing not to have any expectations. I learnt my lessons from last year. There was no point of putting higher self-rating and then get higher rating during the appraisal itself when the actual performance bonus and increment were as shit as usual. So for this year I just anyhow put all the average and let whatever my boss wanted to say. It is nice to find that I have been helpful to her bla bla bla but to me everything is just a lip-service if it is not translated to higher performance bonus and increment.

A part of me is still upset about the lack of recognition for my output. Things were falling apart during mid-year because I was held up with things. I could not help to boost the so called "team goals" while others could only complain so much about work although not really doing  the work. At the end, all the goals were met and I carried a lot of the "team goals" but the credits went to the team. When things fail, I get the blame. When things succeed, others get the credit. Luckily that is just a part of me. Generally I am not too upset about this because I learn from St Therese of Lisieux of serving God in little ways. Work comes from God and by thinking that what I do is for God and not for humans, human recognition is no longer the purpose. One thing that made me very happy was to tell my boss that things improved after the bitch left the team earlier this year. I do not usually bad mouth colleague but the bitch is an ex-colleague so I can hehe.. I am glad that my boss agreed with what I said because she could see how little that bitch contributed.

Begone all toxicities! I shall think about how I am going to spend the next 10 days just stuck in my shithole, especially with my gym is also taking a 1 week break next week. Grrr...