Dedication

It is good to be sociable and I am glad that I decided to go for the usher BBQ yesterday. I was very hesitant because I knew very few people. In the end, there were only 2 ushers whom I know. Talking to others make me realise that what I am feeling is quite normal and there are others out there who feel the same as me. People may term it as a 'quarter life crisis' but basically it is the feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose in life after graduation from university. It is made worse, thanks to social media, with jealousy when you see your friends are furthering their education and having family etc.

All the emo talk caused me a nightmare that made me even reluctant to get married somehow. I am so lazy to find a girlfriend and I always joke with my parents to match make me. In my nightmare, I was really match made but I had never met the girl until the morning that I had to go the gate crash and when I decided that I AM NOT GOING TO DO THIS but how I am going to inform everyone! Lucky it was just a dream and I could escape simply by snapping back to reality.

On the way home from the BBQ, I decided to walk back from Matrichie bus stop all the way home to find pokemons along the way. I realise that it is a waste of time to hunt pokemons at areas with no pokestop as pokemons only start spawning when I reach Upper Thomson Road shophouses with several pokestops there. I nearly fell and broke my ankle when I caught Magmar near as I did not realise that there was a step. Yes I have to thank God for that. Stay safe when pokehunting, guys!

Today I walked from Dhoby Ghaut (after my Japanese class) all the way to MBS, again to just pokehunting. Sigh.. It was quite disappointing as even at the large body of water, all I got were Magikarps and Psyducks. Based on the eggs that I have, I walked a total distance of 10km within the past 24 hours. Wow.. and I consider myself just a casual gamer. Lol. If only such dedication is directed towards my life, perhaps I already earn my Masters and I am already married with few kids now.

After 1 month, I am finally back in Church lol. Thanks to Mother Mary. Tomorrow is Assumption Day which is a day of obligation. Hence I decided to might as well go for Sunday mass today and then for Assumption mass tomorrow. Hehe.. it turned out to be a 2-in-1 as the mass was considered a sunset mass for Assumption. Hurray that means tomorrow I don't need to go again. Anyway, it was announced that they were looking for cathechist. I am interested but I am scared :( I will be alone, I don't have any experience, and I am not exactly a good example of faith. Father said not to worry about skills etc because training will be provided. Haiz.. I don't know.. I will pray for God to give me a hint if I should go for this but I don't know what kind of hint/push that will make me realise that it is indeed God's sign.

Aaah youth...

Last week, my news feed was full of Pokemon Go. This week, news feed is full of Joseph Schooling. Congrats to him for winning the first Olympic gold medal for Singapore in history. As an audience, the match was not that exciting since Schooling was actually quite 'far' ahead of the other competitors. However, he was fantastic considering he beat Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympians, and the match will go down in history with 3 silver medallists who clocked exactly the same time. I am not a Singaporean so I am feeling quite neutral about it but I can imagine (and I hope) Singaporeans will be happy and proud with this. I can remember the excitement and energy when Susi Susanti won the very first Olympic gold medal for Indonesia. It left quite a memory since badminton match is longer than a swimming race so it was quite intense to sit down through the match.

Schooling is still 21 years old and I am pretty sure he has a bright future ahead of him. I sincerely hope that he will achieve greater things in years to come. Aahh.. so good to still be young.. Schooling left Singapore to study and train in the US when he was quite young and look at where he is now. I left my hometown in my young age but I am just a loser. That realisation is quite demoralising. Lol.

Yesterday I went to buy Kingdom Hearts 2 comics from a carousell seller who turns out to be a school kid. However, I was very amazed and surprised that he offered a handshake when we met. Wow... With all the negativity about strawberry generations nowadays, it is a pleasure to find a polite and courteous young boy. It is also a reminder of how impolite I am usually. I don't offer handshakes when I meet strangers for buying or selling things. I don't even offer handshakes to new staff. Sad.. ironic.. when I just left university and entered the workforce, I aspired to be someone friendly and nice, especially towards newcomers since I know how it feels when people are not nice towards me when I was a newbie. Alas.. all the pressure and stress I face have turned me into a monster. If only I can turn back the clock..

PokeGO!

Pokemon GO! is finally out in Singapore since last Saturday. There was a lot of hype a few weeks ago when it was released at other parts of the world and I never considered of playing it. Well for one, I am not exactly a fan of Pokemon. Haha.. However, seeing how even uncles and aunties on the bus are playing it, I decide to also jump into the bandwagon.

Overhyped things tend to get a lot of fans and haters alike and this is not an exception. For me, I don't see much difference between people on the road playing Pokemon Go vs people on the road checking their whatsapp, facebook, other games on their mobile phone. While I can agree with those who find Pokemon Go players as childish, ridiculous, etc, I think you only deserve to say that if you yourselves are not 'addicted' to your mobile phone in the first place. Otherwise, the only difference is just what we do/see with our mobile phones.

Although I am a skeptic, it is undeniable that Pokemon Go is a genius. Nothing has ever been so successful in making people going outdoor (although the only difference is where we play our mobile phones: in our room vs outside), exercise, and meeting fellow 'trainers' at the Pokestops. Authorities have been dangling carrots to make people exercise more and more sociable etc and the usefulness is limited. Pokemon Go makes people doing all these things without any dangling. It is all in the name of fun. You gotta admit that it is genius.

Enough about Pokemon Go, I am glad to announce that my bond is finally over since last Monday. Hurray!! My stress is finally relieved this morning as I submitted my resume and cover letter for my job application. Lets see how it goes. Honestly I don't know what I am going to with my life and my future and I can only trust God. If I can get this new job with the pay that I request, I take it as a sign that I am meant to take it. If I get a job but the pay is not much of an increase, it will be very difficult to decide. On one side, I feel that I have certain 'future' with my current employment, but on the other side, I really want to leave because of all my negative emotions. It will be a battle between the brain vs the heart.

Gundam Build Fighters

There is a criticism that Gundam anime series usually suck because Bandai's main objective is to sell Gunplas and the anime series are just mere gimmicks to advertise the model kits. Gundam Build Fighters completely fits into this stereotypes. In fact, it takes it further with featuring Gundams from other existing series and modify them specially for the anime. It made me a skeptics and I was only interested to watch this because of Bearguy III Double Happiness version that I bought during the Gunpla Expo this year.

Watching the first episode is like discovering a beautiful pearl inside a clam. It is unexpected good pleasure. I have to say that the whole idea of Gundam Build Fighters is bloody genius. The story features people building Gunplas for hobby (which is realistic) and thanks to the discovery of Plavsky particles, it creates a mechanism to make these Gunplas into a game in which the Gunplas really can move around and battle one another (which I consider to be the 'augmented reality' part). The reality and the 'augmented reality' are blended very well that the whole setup feels believable.

For Gundam fans, whether the anime series or the Gunpla, it is always our imagination to be able to control Gundams whether for games or for real battle. No doubt the series hits us on our soft spot very well. However, the flip side of resembling reality very closely, the actual plot is quite boring and draggy for a 25-episode series. The main character, Sei Iori, is an avid Gunpla builder, inspired by his father who was the runner up of the 2nd Gunpla Battle World Championship. Although Sei builds an excellent Gundam, he is a poor fighter. He has little chance of following his father's footsteps until one fateful day when he meets Reiji who can fight with Gundam well. Together they form a team to aim to be the World Champion.

Throughout the 25 episodes, we follow their journey from the regional tournament until eventually they reach the World Championship. After a few of the Gunpla fights, the fights get quite boring. The conflict presented feels very forced. Sei and Reiji are constantly being sabotaged by the tournament organiser. The main antagonisth, Chairman Mashita, is actually a thief from Arian colony who steals a treasure from the castle, gets teleported to earth, and create Plavsky particles. Reiji turns out to be a crown prince of Arian and Mashita is very worried that Reiji knows his identity and will capture him. The whole Arian colony and teleportation thing sort of destroys the whole realism that the series have and I feel kinda mess up the whole thing.

The whole setup for the final battle is quite bizarre too. The giant exploding Arian crystal under the stadium makes the Gundam battle setup a reality and suddenly the giant asteroid base (and the mobile fighters inside) becomes a reality above the stadium. The kids have to use their Gunpla to destroy everything before everything becomes a reality. It makes the final battle resembles actual fights from other Gundam series but the realism is simply thrown out of the window. Having said that, I still think it is one of the most intense fight in the series.

There is plenty of fanservice for Gundam fans with people cosplaying as or resembling characters from previous Gundam series as well as characters sharing same names and saying quotes of Gundam characters. To take note of the fanservice component from each episode is a nice thing on its own. I am glad my favourite Gundam Wing (Fenice) is one of the stronger Gundams here and I was very happy to see Mercurius being piloted by a character which resembles a female version of Heero Yuy.

Void of truly evil characters and killing, Gundam Build Fighters is really a feel good Gundam series. It is quite sad that this series is quite overlooked. Even finding an image to put here is a big challenge and the picture I put on top is a screenshot from gundam.info website. Jeez. Anyway, I am looking forward to the sequel, Gundam Build Fighters Try. I don't expect much but if it can be give a good feeling just like Gundam Build Fighters, that is good enough for me.

I almost forget but the opening and closing songs are great and complement the atmosphere of the series very well. The animation for the opening and closing is great too. I usually skip the opening and ending songs but I did not skip them when I watched this. That is quite a feat. The other series that have such impactful songs are Natsume Yuujinchou. So yeah, it is an accomplishment because usually Gundam opening and end songs can be quite 'randomly' done.

Opening 1

Opening 2

Ending 2

I can't find just the ending 1. Lol.

I don't usually put fanart picture but this is a perfect tribute of Gundam Build Fighters for the previous Gundam series :D

Conan-kun

To promote the latest Conan movie, Conan mascot is making appearances at Plaza Singapura for the past few weeks. I saw the news on facebook (with the picture above) and I gave it a miss because I thought he looked rather weird. However last week, my Japanese class classmate took a picture of the real thing and Conan really looks realistic. Lucky for me that today is the last day and yesterday someone shared the schedule of appearance for today. I managed to get 2 pictures at the Starhub entrance but he did not turn up at the HSBC entrance :( I did not want to take a picture when he was in the shopping mall as there would be a lot of strangers at the background and I like my photos to be free of strangers. Sadly, the weather was rather cloudy so the lighting was not very good too. Anyway I am still happy that I get to take a picture with Conan. Hehe..

Shame on me but because I was looking for Conan, I sacrificed church attendance for the 3rd consecutive Sundays. When I deliberately skip masses, it means I am in a FML mood. I still can't get over my appraisal :( When I was young, I promised that I would not play politics and I would always be true to myself. It is very sad when I have to accept that such idealism is not practical and I really have to stfu and just play the politics. There is no point to be honest and hardworking when it is not appreciated and it makes me hated by others. So I will just join the throng to just slack since that is what the bosses expect. By the way, I feel less irritated since the performance bonus for 'very good' is 1.2x. That is not as bad as I expected since 'exceed expectation' was only 1.3x last year. 10% of a month pay is still a huge amount though.

Talking about money, the highly anticipated pay adjustment turned out to be a bogus. I was hoping that it was as big as the previous adjustment as it was about 15% of my pay back then. This time, it was only like 3%. Seriously... Gone is my dream of hitting 5k before I reach 30 and that means I really should START UPDATING MY CV and start finding a new job or finding a masters course to do.

Haiz.. dear God.. please forgive me and please let me recover and get back on my feet soon :(

Detective Conan: The Darkest Nightmare

I consider myself a fan of Conan but not exactly a big fan. I read the manga, I buy the artbooks, and that's it. I don't follow the anime (too many episodes and I think it will be identical to the manga so it will not be exciting) and the movies. This 20th movie caught my interest because it was advertised before the screening of Young and Fabulous that I watched twice. Since it involves the Black Organisation and the FBI, I think it will be exciting although the trailer is not really exciting to make 100% eager to watch. In the end, I decided to watch it because I was feeling bored.

I am glad that I watched this because the actual movie is much more exciting than the trailer. It goes high-octane right from the beginning with the car chase at the highway. I find the kids cute when reading the manga but I find them very irritating in the movie. I guess that is another reason for me to avoid the anime. Lol. They bring the movie to a more boring tone during their adventure at the Tohto Aquarium. Beyond this point, we sort of know what is the story is all about and from then on, things are just getting more exciting and intense all the way until the climax. Honestly seeing the ferris wheel getting dislodged and rolling towards the aquarium (with the possibility of all our main characters dead) is more intense than watching Civil War or X-men Apocalypse.

One thing that irks me about the movie is how Curacao is introduced and killed at the same movie. Basically, the movie is like non-canon with the whole Conan's manga universe. I mean she is quite an interesting character so I think it is kinda wasted that she has to be killed off. However, apparently Conan movies that involve Black Organisation are always like that: a new member is introduced but then killed at the end of the movie. It will definitely be something I keep in mind before watching future Conan movies.

But overall, I feel that the $15 and the evening was well spent. Haha.. I am used to crying from touching moments in Japanese movies but I hardly find one that invokes the same intense feeling that this movie gave me. For that, I take my hat off to.

My Way

I have been pretty quiet with my posts for June and it is considered unusual because usually I tend to post (and vent) when things are going down the hill in my life. My life has been terrible for the past one month and it was SO TERRIBLE that I cannot even organise my thoughts to vent about it. There is a small part of 'self control' too as I worry that I may write something so bad that I may end up regretting in the future.

The reason why I am writing today is because I just had my appraisal yesterday. Obviously it was upsetting and the reason why I force myself to write about it today is to record down my feelings and thoughts for future references.

I know expecting too much will result in too much disappointment and that exactly what happened. I was hoping with me doing SEA Games and Paragames last year, this maybe my only chance getting an 'outstanding' grade. I did not and I wondered what exactly is the ruler to judge the performance if I cannot even get an 'outstanding' from doing events at this multi-national levels. Sigh.. I really think everything is rigged. When the time (for promotion) comes, they will just give a better grade to justify the promotion. At any other time, it will always be good regardless of what is being done. So yeah, those better grades are perhaps 'reserved' for the promotions only.

I acknowledge my weaknesses and I am not upset that those are being pointed out. What I am upset about is how achieving KPIs is being taken for granted. I am also upset about all the assumptions. While I am emotional and tend to be negative (and hence people may see me as being negative), I am actually okay with my colleagues. I always inform them in advance that I tend to behave that way in high stress situations but in general I am okay. At least I am making conscious effort to be friends with them as compared to others who totally cannot be bothered.

Well, points taken. It is tiring to be strict. So if you want me to be more flexible, to be more tolerant to mistakes, to be 'friendlier', and not too hard up on KPIs and SOPs, I will give you what you want. Next time when problem arises, don't look for me to find reason or to solve since that is what you want. I will take a step back (more like many steps back) since there is no point sacrificing that much for work. Don't find me when KPIs are deteriorating, when things are falling apart, when emails go unreplied, and when I seem cannot be bothered.

It has been made clear that if I don't want to change (to soften my PR skills), I will stagnant. Well, in return, I have made it clear that I am not going to be a pawn to fill in leadership positions as well. Go find and groom someone else that fits better to your mould but you will not also not get my task-orientedness. After all, it does not matter whether I do or I don't do, it will always be good.

At the end of the day, while I am feeling angry, upset, and disappointed, I have no regrets with what I have done or I have not done as I am staying true to myself. So yeah, I will play by your rules but I will play the game 'my way'.

Gunpla Expo 2016

Yesterday was my fourth time visiting the Gunpla Expo at Takashimaya. With the exclusives still not sold out, it seems that my Bear-san is a failed investment T_T Surprisingly there were not so many people although I reached at about 11am after I finished my Japanese homework at Ion Starbucks. Thus, I took some photos. I have to admit that I did not find it as exciting as Gundam Docks last year when I took photos right from the first time I went. Lol. I can't wait to have the next Gundam Docks and I hope they will bring the same Gundam Wing Zero Customs displayed in Hong Kong last year. Anyway, enjoy the pictures from my half-assed effort to take them.

Glad to see it with a pose instead of just standing stationary

The crowd arrived by the time I took the back view

SG50 Gundam at MBS diorama

Merlion Gundam is here as well

Gundam Barbatos

Gundam Bear-III Double Happiness version

I bought grilled squid ($5) and fried squid ($8) from Takashimaya food fair. I wanted to buy since a week ago but I decided to just get a fried squid ($5) from Taimei at Bishan which was a mistake. The quality of Japanese product is simply unrivaled by its neighbouring countries: the squid was thick and yet it was not tough to chew. I could bite it in small pieces. The one I bought from Taimei was so tough that I had to use my finger to pull the pieces apart. Bleah... The one I bought in Takashimaya also had a more superior flour which surprisingly did not fall apart to crumbs as I was biting pieces by pieces. It was a well spent $13. Lol.

I was tempted to visit LaTendo for one last time as Funan is closing at the end of this month but I decided not to if there was no sale. I checked the facebook page again last night and I realised that they are having their closing sale just for the weekend! I did not scroll down when I checked the phone so I thought their latest post was about the moving. It was actually a pinned post. So I went there this evening and I snagged Saint Seiya 10th Anniversary DX Display Stage. Not one but two for $40 each. I still felt the bitterness when I missed it during HLJ sale for 1500 JPY a few months ago. It is sold out now so there is no way I can ever find such a price anymore. I actually don't collect Saint Seiya Myth Cloth figures but the display looks quite cool and I am going to use it for my other figures. I am not a frequent visitor and in fact, I find it quite inconvenient to travel to Funan. But now I feel kinda sad that Funan is going to close. My most memorable memory is getting a Christmas figure of myself there a few years ago. Sigh.. The booth closed not long after that and I kinda regret that I never buy more of this.

I am in need of a new laptop but sadly there was no exciting closing sale for the laptops. Oh well, I think I have overspent lately so I have to put a rein on my wallet. JPY is almost 20% compared to when I went to Japan in September last year so buying things directly from Japan is getting more expensive. Haiz.. So sad I so quickly changed my leftover JPY last year. I am holding to AUD and USD in hope of making a profit but thanks to Brexit, these 2 are dropping. Sian..

Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans (Season 1)

Gundam 00 left quite a bad impression for me and I have not watched any Gundam series from then on. Thanks to the currently ongoing Gunpla Expo at Takashimaya, I decided to give Iron Blooded Orphans a try. There seems to be more non-Gunpla related merchandises released for this series so I guess this is pretty popular and I decided to give it a try.

Gundam series are usually dealing with the conflict between colonies and earth. Iron Blooded Orphans takes the conflict one step further to Mars. Earth has managed to make Mars habitable but Martians suffer as most of the wealth are sucked by the businesses and governments from earth. Earth itself is divided into 4 factions and the 4 factions do not go to war thanks to an organisation called Gjallarhorn which helps to end the Calamity War 300 years ago and to maintain peace up to today. Kudelia Anna Bernstein is the poster girl of Mars independence movement and her goal is to go to earth for a diplomatic mission for Mars' sake.

Gundam series usually run for about 50 episodes so I kinda expect this 25-episode run is only the first season. With the 2nd season already announced, it is still too premature to judge the series. But from the 25 episodes, I have to sadly say that this is worse and less memorable than Gundam 00. Sigh. The story is patheticly 'thin' and it takes maybe 20 episodes for the journey from Mars to Earth and another 5 episodes to go from their landing point to the city of Edmonton.

The conflict presented does not make sense and has little believability. How can be an organisation as big as Gjallarhorn which maintains peace of earth and space for the past 300+ years unable to defeat Tekkadan which is just a group of mercenaries? Yes they have the arayashiki system and they have Gundam Barbatos but it is an 'outdated' machine and I am pretty sure Gjallarhorn is able to have more advance machines. 

Surprisingly, Gundam does not take a center stage in this series as Gundam is considered a relic of the war 300 years ago. That explains the absence of exciting or memorable fights. We only have 1 significant Gundam Barbatos vs other lousy mobile suits controlled by mostly nameless soldiers whose death or survival does not really matter anyway. It is pretty sad for a Gundam series not to have memorable Gundams and Gundam fights. It is mentioned a few times that there are 72 Gundams so I am not sure if somehow they will all make an appearance in the second season.

There are too many characters (I cannot even remember what names goes to which face) but too little character development. Tekkadan is a group of orphans coming together as a family but there is little shown about their bond as a family. They keep saying that they are doing this together because it is a job and it is for money. That basically kills all the emotional aspect which can possibly utilised. With all the talk about "job" and "money", I can't help but feel that Tekkadan is essentially a business and simply wants to complete its job to escorting Kudelia to earth. And that is not exactly a protagonist that we are rooting for. Not to mention the last few episodes make it worse for them to be blinded by rage and revenge. Of course if we are looking from their point of view, I can understand their desperation and fight for survival. If they don't give their all and complete their mission, they will simply perish on earth. However, from audience point of view, they are not exactly heroes that I want to root for.

I think it is quite sad that Tekkadan does not realise that they are simply a pawn being played by bigger parties with their own business or political interests. That is an apt reflection of what is happening in the world today: there are people, especially in conflict regions, who are doing their best to survive and thinking that they are fighting for the good without realising that they are just being used by other people to enrich themselves.

So yeah.. another disappointing Gundam series and I think that this is worse than Gundam 00 which I already dislike. Well at least I am able to remember the name of the 4 pilots from Gundam 00. Lol. It will be interesting to see how season 2 goes but honestly, I doubt it will be good.

Dream on~~

Dream high... Aim for the stars.. Those are what people say. But the higher I dream, the more painful reality becomes. My friend informed me about $7m toto on Monday and despite knowing the impossibility of striking it, I told him to help me buy $10. After all, the possibility is only zero when you don't try at all. To console myself from the harsh reality, I was already dreaming of getting a condo, giving $500k to my friend who helped me buy, donating $1m to Daughters of Sts Paul who is searching for a new compound as announced during mass on Sunday, quitting my job and enjoying life simply from the bank interest from the remaining money. Obviously none of this happens.

I broke my promise by getting a limited Wing Gundam Zero Custom with pearl coating at the currently ongoing Gunpla expo at Takashimaya. My friend wanted 2 Beargguy III ver Double Happiness and I decided to buy 2 as well in the hope of selling it for higher price in the future. As the total exceeded $200, I got one chance of lucky draw. I had to spin this tin container until one ball dropped out and I would win something if I got a golden ball. I had 3 balls dropped but the golden ball was the second and hence I did not win. Aaargh.. It was soooo damn close.. I did not ask what the lucky draw prize was to prevent myself from disappointment and I am glad I did not.

I wanted to buy AAA concert ticket. According to the email I received, the sale would begin on 8 June at 1000. I logged in at 1008 and it was already sold out. What sorcery is this!! This is supposed only for their global fanclub members. I don't believe that there are that many to sell out all the tickets in less than 10 minutes!! I was still hopeful that perhaps the system was up but it was not the time to book yet. So I checked again in the evening and after reading the announcement carefully, the timing is actually 1000 CST. Google says that it will be 9 June 0000 GMT+8 and I waited past midnight to still get the same message that quota has been exceeded. Sigh.. I sent an email and I received a reply that the ticket is already sold out indeed. I did not even bother to ask how can the ticket be sold out at 1008 GMT+8 when the announcement said that sale began at 1000 CST.

My online shopping this week has been terrible too. I was so happy last week when I won an auction for all 38 chess pieces of Clamp no Kiseki for 2700 JPY. When the final invoice, I was shocked to see a domestic shipping charge of 1500 JPY. How can domestic shipping be as much as the international shipping from Japan to Singapore? Haiz.. In total, I spent 7000 over JPY for that only to realise an auction that ended at 7000 JPY for all 38 chess pieces + 12 books + box to place all the books + chess mat + and the display box of the 38 chess pieces. Damn damn damn!! It has domestic shipping and if I get this, I suppose I will pay 10000 JPY at the very most. That is only 3000 JPY more for all the additional things T_T I also realised Eijun Sawamura figurine that I bought during 40% off is not on 50% off.

Seriously.. what's wrong with me this week :'(