Altar Server

All Saints' Day has a special place in my heart since it was the first Mass when I played the organ for. Now First Sunday of Advent will also have a special place in heart since I had the opportunity to somewhat be an altar server. It was for a Mass to 'close' the cancelled pilgrimage due to the war in Israel. It was to replace the 'sending off' Mass that was originally planned on the Saturday before our departure. It is also a 'mission accomplished' for me since trying to be an altar server is one of the things I was hopeful for when I was thinking about going for pilgrimage. I was baptised as an adult so I never had the opportunity to be an altar boy. Thus today is as much as I can experience what I miss out.

I did not know what to expect so I even prepared myself by searching altar server training guides online. I also pay more attention to what the altar boys are doing during Mass and I even attended some weekday Masses to see what they do when there are fewer of them. I definitely have deeper respect for them after learning all the stuff they have to remember and do. Not to mention of maintaining the postures throughout the Mass.

I did not have to wear the vestment and there was no procession (since it was just a Mass for 20 of us) so I mainly participated in the preparation of the altar (bringing the ciborium, the wine and water, the water bowl and hand towel), ringing of bell and at the end of the Eucharist. I had no rehearsal whatsoever so I was very clumsy with holding and placing the stuff as it was the first time I held those things on my hand.

The most memorable ones for me were the two unexpected things. First, I expected to hand over the water cruet after the Communion and Father would pour to the chalice. Father signaled that I was the one to pour the water to the chalice. Ooops, I did not prepare myself on how to pour the water from the cruet. Am I supposed to open the lid to pour or pour with the lid closed? I even angled the cruet for the Father to take the handle. The second pour was definitely smoother after I learnt that the water still flowed smoothly with the lid closed haha.. Second was placing the chalice (with the paten, pall, corporal and so on) at the of the Communion to the credence table. The whole 'stack' was rather slippery while I expected them to be 'stable'. Again, my sense of touch was not familiar and I did not know that I had to apply pressure to keep them stable. Thank God I did not drop anything. It was also my first time entering the Sacristy when I helped to carry the book that the priest read during the Mass.

Although it was not a full-fledged altar serving per se, the experience allowed me to try to be holy just for today. I even fasted yesterday. That was on top of the last week's confession. At the end, it is not really I am doing something for God but God somehow gives me the opportunity to be a bit holier than usual for these past few weeks.

To wrap this whole cancelled pilgrimage experience, I am able to easily accept it. Since I need visa, I know from the start that there is no guarantee that I can go. Indeed it is not God's time yet for me to visit the Holy Land, although the reason is the war rather than the visa. Nevertheless, it is a lie if I say I am not disappointed since I am quite looking forward to it. I think irritation is the more correct feeling and it is mainly due to the wasted preparation of all the documents (and stress) for the visa application. Will I want to go again if the opportunity arises in the future? Yes, without any doubt.