Reflecting 2019

This is the worst episode of food poisoning I have ever experienced. Last night I spiked a fever at 1am and even after taking panadol, I could not really sleep. Without even being asked if I need any MC, doctor straight away gave me another 2 days so it must be quite jialat. I knew when he tapped around my tummy, everywhere had gas sound and it was louder than when I went to see doctor on Tuesday. My tongue was also all white which showed how dry or dehydrated I was. Looking at the bright side, at least I have the time to complete this 2019 reflection which is long overdue.

Thank God for my 2019 which has been a smooth sailing and full of blessings. Other than the most recent screwed up by my sister who spoiled the year end holiday, I could only recall one other thing that made me so upset in 2019: misunderstandings with colleagues at PH. I still have to get used to how childish and how sensitive they can be. Bleah.. Surprisingly I did not find any blog post about those incidences. Either I have matured to just consider these childish behaviours as normal or they are just insignificant happenings in my life. Either way, both are not really that important or bother me that much until I have to bitch about it in the blog. Hehe..

The three things I promised earlier for 2019 were on spirituality, personal health, and finance. I am pretty happy with some achievements in these aspects. I would say I am pretty proud as well because usually new year resolutions are meant to be broken after all :p

My spiritual life is definitely more alive than in 2018. I am able to attend Sunday masses regularly (minus the times I was overseas) and not begrudgingly. I continue to participate in Landings although there was a period of time in which I kept having the temptations to skip and stop. Thanks to my godmother, attending Novena to Mother of Perpetual Help has become my regular Saturday activity. I feel more positive when going for my monthly volunteering session. So overall I am fulfilling my promise to use the free Saturdays that come with my new work for less selfish purposes.

With my lack of purpose in life, I even went for a vocation retreat to explore if religious life is my fate. Although I said I was keen to explore, I did not hear any update. Well I have made myself available but perhaps that is not God's plan for me either.

I skip to finance first which I have successfully achieved the re-recording of all my expenses since my previous record was destroyed with my crashed computers. I have not really analysed to see how I can improve since I am planning to track back my spendings for my past overseas trips. I am sure that my toy spendings have been reduced because of my lack of space and in exchange, my money goes to my overseas trips but I do not know how much damage those overseas trips have caused me.

Now personal health is the one I am not happy with my 2019 progress. I got myself injured again and after recovery, I am going to gym 4 times a week at most (on alternate days) as I am worried of another injury. Because of my eyes, I was advised to eat more banana and red dragonfruit. Banana replaces bread as breakfast while red dragonfruit replaces L-men for dinner. However, I cannot maintain the discipline for dinners and I am eating junk food more than what I should be.

As a recap, I think I traveled way too much in 2019: twice to Japan, thrice to the Philippines (for work), once to Taiwan and Thailand. I would like to return to be a home-boy this year as I have been away from home for too long and I need to repair my finances. Nevertheless, I have no regrets as I always dream of work travels and I am happy to explore new parts of Japan or being to Taiwan for the first time.

Work also deserves a special mention because after one year, I still do not have the feeling of waking up with 'I don't feel like working'. I hope this is going to continue this year.

In all, 2019 has been funtastic and I am really grateful to God for that. My wish list for 2020 will be:
1) Rest
I would like to put a pause to spending my holiday for overseas trip. Instead, I would like to return to spending holidays just resting and being a useless boy at home like the old days. It is time to spend more time and reconnect with my family.

2) Purpose in life
Truth to be told, I still have no purpose in life and I still pray to die so that I can be heaven like right now. I do not know if I really should try finding a girlfriend but even then also where to find. Sigh.. After the spiritual high last year, I am very aware that I start to feel slowly drifting away from God. Even though this is expected, it is very worrisome for me.

3) Finance
This is a continuation from 2019. Please finish tracing back all the overseas spendings and put financial planning back in order!

4) Health
Diet control! Discipline! That is what I really need to work hard for. I am not too worried about gym because as long as I do not injure myself, so far extending gym regularly has not been an issue.

The start of 2020 has not been kind for the world but let's pray for the best.