Where is my Christmas Spirit?

In Hollywood and Disney Christmas-themed movies, 'Christmas Spirit' is mentioned quite often. I never seem to understand its significance and I always feel that it is just a cliche thingy during Christmas season. Unfortunately, now I am experiencing the lack of Christmas Spirit. Haha.. I admit that my previously there had always been anything special with my Christmas-es since I don't really celebrate. But at least, I always waited for it eagerly in previous years. Even listening to old Christmas songs and watching the same few Disney Christmas shows gave me a huge excitement. This year, I totally feel unexcited about Christmas at all. Yea thanks to FYP and all the morbid thoughts about my bleak future and my hated life here. Those Christmas songs, which I have been listening every year for more than 5 years (or is it 10?) become boring. I tried to find Christmas albums by more recent singers but I don't think they are fantastic. I just feel so sian.. It isn't going to be a blue Christmas. It's gonna be a BLACK one for me :(

Today was my last day of work for 2010. It was a Christmas Opera by a Methodist Church. I kinda had a bad day. From the matinee show, I kept getting scoldings by everyone for whatever I do. Bleah.. Lousy day.. Anyway, it was kinda good to watch a Christmas-y show ba.. The plot is a cliche: someone from modern life had a brief encounter of death and in her moment of unconsciousness was sent to the times before the First Christmas. It was very lame to see Herod's guards and concubines were dressed in Chinese Opera style o_0 while dancing to Indian tune during their party. But for fun, entertainment value, and laughter, I guess the cast did excellently! Lol.. I like the kind of jokes which are from daily lives. No need to try too hard to make people laugh. Just use whatever funny insider jokes and apply them in the context of 2000years ago, and everything would just become funny. This is the kind of formula that I always use when thinking of script for role play etc ba haha...

Anyway the show did not quite inject some Christmas spirit into me. Haha.. However, there was something that made my day! I had a few patrons who wished me Merry Christmas after the show ended. Wow.. One even offered a handshake. I almost declined but since I saw her hand had been 'there' for quite sometime, I guess no harm to just return the handshake. I never thought that getting a simple Merry Christmas from strangers could be that exciting. Lol.. But it was a good feeling.. Now I know why the angmohs in the movies always say Merry Christmas to anybody they meet during the Christmas season.

Still, at the end of the day, I feel 'dead'.. No Christmas spirit.. Perhaps I should go for a celebration that I am invited to this Monday.. Who cares about stupid FYP :(

Do You Hear What I Hear?
I find this song memorable right from the first time I hear it.. Perhaps because out of so many Christmas albums that I own, this song only appears in ONE album. Lol