Aaah the weather lately is very good for emo-ing. Haiz.. Actually the weather is damn nice lately for holiday mood. Cool, windy, and rainy.. Nice for lying on the bed and slacking :) Too bad I still my screwed up FYP :( Anyway I never expect that too cold weather can disrupt my sleep. But that happened on Sunday. I woke up 3 or 4 times in between my 6 hours of sleep. It was as good as not sleeping. I did not feel too bad upon waking up but I KO-ed on the bus for the Christmas celebration in the evening.
I was a bit reluctant to go :( Not very close with the people so I would feel akward. Gosh but thank goodness I went. The food was great.. It was even greater because the fact that they were all cooked by a few of us there. WOW! They really have good cooking skills. I had a chance to try 4 different liquour without getting any redness or drunkenness haha.. I tried my best to just simply 'taste' them.. I wanted to try all 4 so if I got drunk before that, that would be disappointing haha.. Bailey's Irish Cream was okay.. The milk+coffee liquor was a horrible mixture.. Bacardi something had 40% alcohol so it was burning my throat. The Vodka Mandarin (also 40%!) was the worst of all. Haha... It smelled mild (orange aroma) but upon drinking, urgh.. it really burnt my throat.. and it tasted like drinking those alcohol used in the lab!
Yesterday was the release of exam results. I was quite emo because the sms did not come in the morning. It did come at 330pm though.. Damn lame.. I checked via the website already. As expected, this sem was disastrous. I got my first B. Fucking bitch! Well, I was a bit scared of failing that module so I guess B was okay :( It pulled down my CAP by a lot :'(
My future lies with my FYP now :( Regardless how I do for next sem, my class is determined by my project.. Looks like I will be 2nd class anyway.. Perhaps that is the biggest reason that I was not suicidal upon seeing the B yesterday... Gosh..
Come to think of it, I feel as bad as 3 years ago, year 1 sem 1. I was very down to be an average student just then.. But miracle happened with my results that sem.. A miracle that never happened again.. Now I think that miracle was a curse.. If from the start I am an average student, I don't need to be very stressed after all.. And now, I guess I am back to where I should be: average.. Still, I feel a pang of sadness.. And I will definitely hate or love my supervisor forever and ever. Haha.. She holds the key to my future... Lol.
Anyway my project is doomed. I had been doing nothing for the past week. My filter hasn't arrived :( Really die.. I almost had a big shock of my life today. The person doing analysis sounded as if my sample was lost! Oh God!! Thank goodness she just forgot about it.. It was too "long" ago haha.. 1 week only.. I just can't help that I really have a sad life.. There is nothing I can do about my project.. I wanna shout I wanna scream I wanna cry for my poor luck.. Why do I get something so new that there is no data that I can refer or compare? Why am I given so little materials? Why does my lab do not have things that I need? Why are my processes taking days to weeks to do and confirm? Why why why? It is really unfair :( I will lose everything that I have worked hard for for the last few years just because of these things I have no control of :( Really lousy luck :( Or call it fate... Aaah I am fated to have a cursed life.. Everything is a mistake from the first day God decided to bring me into this life T_T
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