Goodbye 2007... Hello 2008

Wheew... in just about 2 hours, the year will change. Overall, I would say that I enjoyed the year thoroughly. Of course there were some good and bad things but the good overweighed the bad ones. Lol. This is the first time I feel so optimistic. Haha...

The good ones:
- The first few months were pure ecstasy. No school for more than half a year and it was the first new year I got to celebrate at home since I went to study abroad.
- So far, I guess pharmacy is the right choice for me. I have great friends and have great time there.
- My semester result is satisfying and beyond my prediction.

The bad ones:
- FLOOD!
- Disgusting working experience!
- Some study-related stress
- And the last week of 2007 was not very good for me..

Haha...
In the new year, I just hope everything can go as well as or BETTER (preferably) than 2007. No detailed wishes because I want everything to be better :) Haha...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!!

Holiday is ending T_T

Wheew... Time flies so fast. It is less than two weeks till my return to Singapore and about two weeks till the school starts again. There are so many things I want to do, yet there is so little time -_-

I am currently playing Final Fantasy 1 and I am very frustrated. The level of difficulty is just so difficult. The random battles are so frequent and it takes so much time to level up and earn enough money to buy stuff. Haiz... On top of that, there is not sufficient information about how the story goes from the game. Lucky there are game guides. Haha... The omake feature adds more to my stress as I have to meet all enemies and open every single treasure chests. Haiz... I don't think I can finish it.

Sem 1 results were out and I am surprised that I did better than my expectations. Haha, especially Anatomy. My phy pharm was my lousiest subject and it might be due to my poorly done practical reports (I don't think I did a lousy work anyway, I just write as much as the space provided). No complaint though as I managed to keep my scholarship for another semester.

I was afraid that I have gotten addicted to computer and internet. My worry was baseless. Although I am online for an average of 4 hours daily when I am in Singapore, I can survive days without going online home. Oh yeah...

New year is coming. And although I complained so much about the trip to Pontianak, at least I got a wake up call to 'repair' my spiritual life. Yep, at least I got something useful out of the trip. I need to rebuild my life and reset my priorities.

Time table for semester 2 is out. I guess it's time to look at it, prepare my mental for a new semester, and start looking through what modules to bid. Haiz... School is here again...

Pontianak (Part 3)

YEAH!!!
Finally!!!
Tomorrow I'll be home again...
Haiz...
Yeah yeah...
I'm so happy that I have nothing much to say.
A cousin of mine has a big mouth and already let the secret out: the next time I am forced to come here, I will not go back home for holidays.
Yeah I pray for a safe flight.

AND TOMORROW IS THE DAY WHEN THE RESULT IS OUT!!! I HOPE I CAN GET 3.5 THEN I'LL BE HAPPY..

Pontianak (Part 2: Foei Gras)

Yeah, cut me now and my liver will cost a bomb. I have been forced too eat for the past few days. I have durian for every breakfast. Not to mention the red wine, satay, champagne and cakes and ice creams... Really a lot of food being administered to me within very short period of time. Today was the worse, durian and cake at 1030 plus followed by mixed rice at about 1130 and then beef noodle at 1345. What the hell.... I really have a problem, especially the part to eliminate what I have eaten. I think I am constipated or my stomach has increased its capacity that it is able to accomodate 3days worth of food or I am fatter already. Sigh...

2 more days... and I really will have to waste my christmas here. That sucks... Really really sucks. The only consolation for me to agree to come here was to search for Dear Boys Act II volume 20 and I did not get it also. The bookshop here is very incomplete and they have many old comics. There is a cheap comic sale but it is so messy that I could not and did not want to dig through thousands (Maybe there are 10000 plus and I am not joking). I was quite interested in buying Yasha but I could not get a complete set. Never mind...

I regret coming here and anyway Merry Christmas :)

Pontianak (Part 1)

Yes, it's part I because there will be subsequent parts.

It has been quite some time since I took a domestic flight. My impression is: I won't take domestic flight anymore. The waiting rooms are so crowded, messy, and the air is full of smoke. I had breathing difficulties. Yucks yucks... The airplane has very little leg space and that makes my whole flight experience an agony. It will be repeated again when I fly back. Haiz...

The only interesting experience was when the plane was about to land. Pontianak is not at the seaside (unlike Singapore and Jakarta's airports) so from the sea, the plane travelled towards a vast area of forest. Yeah that made me see how bad the deforestation has taken place. Well, seeing the awesome scenery made me happy FOR A WHILE! Yes, for a while only...

So far I have only been rotting here. I really hate my parents for forcing me to come here. To worsen my suffering, the light went out from 6-9pm yesterday. Holy Fish!!! When I took bath at 9 plus, the drainage system was jammed and I flooded the toilet. Haiz... Haiz...

The thing that made me happy so far was the durian yesterday. I almost ate half of the fruit. It has been ages since I ate non-frozen durian. The durian was still wet and not fibrous. Yummy yummy... It was quite frustrating to clean away my braces after that and I shall think about the extra calories and the extra pimples later on.

This morning my aunt insisted that I look like a Korean actor (I don't know his name but I think he is quite famous because I know his face) which becomes a model for dunno what song. I said no because I could not see any resemblance. Then she said 'the cheek bone and the chin are the same though your eyes are smaller'. Once I get hold of his photo, I shall put it side by side with my photo to see. Hehehe... Maybe I am destined to be a superstar to earn my money...

Aaargh.. I cannot stand the stupid internet connection! I still have 200MB of windows update that I need to download. I guess I have to wait until I return to Singapore to do so. I just want time to quickly flies away while I am stuck in this city. Sianz... 4 more days and 3 more nights.

Early Merry Christmas

Yeah, tomorrow I have to go already. Sucks sucks sucks. It is the worst Christmas ever. Because I am feeling sad, I will not act 'happy', I will just ruin the happiness of other people. I had to rush through my Christmas movies and songs as I have no mood to watch/listen to them once Christmas is over. Haiz... I am very angry to my parents.. I guess I won't be going home again.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
I hope yours is merry, unlike mine -____-!

Unhappy Holiday

My holiday has been pretty bad so far. Horrible, I would say. My Christmas is confirmed to be another screwed up one this year :( I have been forced to go to a deserted old dumb city with nothing I can look forward to for I don't know how long. Aaargh... I don't want to remind myself about how unmerry my Christmas will be. It is not the first time that I am forced to go and still I am being forced forced and forced. I guess I have to be a bad boy and put up black face for as long as I am there. I am already in no-word term with my parents for the 3rd day today.

I have 4 more episodes to complete my Samurai Deeper Kyo. If I don't rush to complete an anime, I guess I would enjoy watching it more. This is an example. 20 something episode should be able to be finished in 2-3 days but this is my 5th day. I guess it is a bit short for a 38-volume manga but I cannot say which one is nicer because I already forget the manga storyline. But reaching 4 more episodes before the end, some characters are yet to make their appearance. Is it really ending??

Due to the stupid trip I have to do, there is no way I can finish my Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny this holiday. Haiz.. I am planning to play Final Fantasy I. And my Kingdom Heart: Chain of Memories has not ended yet. Everything I do this holiday seems to be useless and does not make me happy. All things I planned to do fail, including that weight-losing and exercise regime T_T

Christmas Songs =)

My mood is ruined because I have to spend my Christmas in stupid kampong -_-* So I just post some very very good Christmas songs =)


Billy Gilman - O Holy Night
Wheew.... This boy is awesome! The track is almost identical with his album. Not 100% perfect suggesting that he is not lip-synching. Cool!


Mariah Carey - O Holy Night
It is the best version of O Holy Night, in my opinion.


Celine Dion - The Magic of Christmas Day
A great original Christmas song that I discovered last year. It's awesome as I hardly find any original Christmas song is good (except All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey).

Links updated on 25/12/2010 :)

Hohohoho....me...

I am home again. There are some changes, some are for better, some for worse... For an example, the mall in front of my house has opened a new wing in just 5 months time. Bloody cool! Now there are 5 malls in 1 building although I still cannot find where is the Mall #4. However, the escalator in #3 is moved to #5 so I must walk a bit to got upstairs.

I have to get used to the snail-slow connection of my home internet -_-! I cannot even access my own blog as it takes too much time to open all the pictures. I had to change back to classic yahoo mail as the new one takes too long to load. This is just maddening. Now don't even talk about downloading stuff anymore. It makes me cry even to update my antivirus. Haiz... My forum also takes forever to open. Sigh...

My cupboard and my display cabinet are FULL! WTF! I need to think twice to buy new titles of mangas and I need to get rid of some of the 'failures' so as to give space to the nicer titles. My parents will just kill me if they know I am throwing away comics as it is like throwing away money. The rack for my anime artbook is also almost full -_-! My toy cabinet is also almost full! I don't know what thing I can look forward to in my life if I can no longer buy toys, anime books and mangas. PS2/3 is already out of my mind because I have no time to play anyway. Sad life.

My room was occupied by my cousins 1 month ago. Thus, I get a new bolster and bedsheet. They would be shocked if they were given mine! Lol. The problem is, my new bedsheet is white. It will turn brown because of my anti-pimple formulae and I will get the scolding as if I choose to have a white bedsheet. Ah ya, bad news, my anti-pimple facial is no longer in production. I dare not to think about what will happen to my face when my stock is all used up T_T Well, at least plastic surgery is still available.

And sucks... My christmas will suck. My father FORCES (again as usual) to go to Pontianak. Ah I hate it. It's 5 days and it is until christmas. F***! It's not that I don't want to see my granny but the problem is the timing: too long and it disrupts my christmas mood. And I hate to see relatives I don't understand and talk about all the singapore crap. Haiz... I would be like some kind of 'thing' to be shown off to everyone... Pathetic life siah...

Get back to reality

Hahahahahahaha... I'm still all high with all the fun I had this week. It's time to pay attention and repair the damages done in the past week. Lol. Firstly, I hit 62 kg -_-! Will take a lot of effort to lose 9-10 kg when I am home. I don't know if I can lose so much. Well at least I returned back to 55 and I will be happy. With little food, a lot of instant noodle, and a bit of exercise, I think it is possible. Haha... The key is the exercise... How a bit is a bit? Lol.

I am feeling lethargic all through the week. I don't know why. I have enough daily sleep, enough slacking, more than enough food, so I see no reason why I keep feeling sleepy. Muaaaah....

Due to much time outside, I just started packing up last night. It was kinda horrible. I never started this late but hey, everything was almost done. This time around I do not have so many of MY things to be brought back. That's why it was quite fast to pack. Haiz... Half of the luggage is filled of chocolates... My parents are just crazy.. Using me to buy stuff to give away. I am not santa claus. Lol.. My shopping is not done yet. I still need a slimmer laptop back, laptop cooler, some cake for my mum, some doraemon stuff for my sister, pork floss for my other sister, and bakwa for myself. Must finish shopping by 330 today. If cannot finish I take taxi so I have longer time to shop lor. Haha... I just hope it does not rain!!!

WOAH... Yesterday my friend brought me to a very cool toy shop at Marina Square. Don't ask me where but I don't think I can go back there myself. Not only they have cool toys which I never see before at other toy shops, they are having a 30% sale. OH MY GOD! Though I did not get the FF figurines, I bought suikoden figurines in return. I was really tempted to buy the big Shinn Asuka (Gundam Seed Destiny) and I should have bought it yesterday. Now I must ask my friend to help me buy. Sorry but thank you :D haha... That's for your return for headbutting me! I know you will miss me but that's not a reason to headbutt me. Haha...

Now I am feeling pretty guilty for the $325 I wasted to pay for an empty room. Haiz... PGP just wants to make money... I shall not say anymore. I just think that if I homestay at someone's house, the person will also ask me to pay even when I am home and not occupying the room. So yah... Cannot help it so just let it be... Anyway I already work so hard to earn money (yeah...scholarship is no longer a gift now, it's a salary) so I just tell my parents, "hey, I am using my hard-earned money to pay that... I am sacrificing my toys...". Quite bullcrap lah... Cos usually I spent $300+ to buy toys but this semester I only spent about $150. Lol.. And supposedly I used all my scholarship money this semester (though not enough) to buy laptop. Arrrgh... futile way to avert my guilt. The bottom line is my $325 is gone. Hix hix...

I'll be home on Sunday so yeah... I'll be happy.. Aircon, instant-noodle, exercise, anime, manga, radio, cassetes, psx, quarrel with parents, eat nice Indon food... ah... Heavenly...

Cannot get any better than this

Huahaha... Life has been great so far. This is what I live for: nice food, entertainment, shopping, and slacking...

On Monday, I had birthday celebration cum exam-is-over celebration cum clique outing at Suki Sushi. So sad of me that I only knew that there is another sushi buffet other than Sakae. I would say Suki is better because the $4.90 plates are included for the buffet. Plus there is dessert! Lol. Stomach was so full already but when the dessert came, I could still stuff in few more plates of it. One food that must be avoided for the next time: Butter Cheese Yaki (Yucky!). It tasted so raw, looked so disgusting, and smelled so smelly.

Tuesday was a mega fattening day. I slept and lazed around until 4pm. Skipped breakfast and lunch altogether and only ate 2 slices of bread and half pack of potato chips. Dinner was Pizza Hut. It was the Jingle Joy Meal. Yeah it was the Christmas special pizza. Lucky that it only contains chicken as my friend whom I went with cannot eat meat. I ate until so full again although it was not as bad as the previous day buffet. Maybe the buffet already 'exercised' my stomach the day before.

The rain did not dampen my mood today. In fact, today is the first time that I watched 2 movies in a day. Haha... In the morning, I watched Enchanted. Woohoo... Disney has not lost its magic for 2D animation. Although the main story line is a standard princess fairy tale, I think the improvisation (although they were computerised, it was pretty disgusting to see the girl touched the rats and COCKROACHES OH MY GOD!!!) and the twists are pretty exciting. My only complain is that the dragon is too dumb (it dies because it cannot fly) and the 'changing partner' twist. It really shatters the real meaning of a fairy tale. But hey...overall, I still enjoyed the movie. In fact, I enjoyed it better than:

The Golden Compass
I wait so long with enthusiasm... And I find it pretty disappointing. Although Nicole Kidman is great (I wish she becomes the witch queen because then she would have more action) and gorgeous, the story is pretty -_-" I think because the atheist author has bad intentions in writing the book so God does not bless the movie... Ok that's crap because the book is a best-seller and I think the movie will make a big box-office too. It's the first part of the trilogy so the ending is quite 'hanging'. But I cannot stand the fact that the little girl is the heroine while she cannot fight blah blah blah... It's just idiotic.

Hmm.. I'm still sad that I did not get the Final Fantasy figurines... No more full set is on sale. I should have not delayed when I saw it a month ago. Haiz... Talking about figurines, I find Code Geass figurines are pretty nice. They make me interested in watching the anime and I just bought the anime books. Wasted my $30 because the books contain scenes from the anime.. I feel cheated. From the covers, they look like they contain original artwork, not scenes from the anime... O well...

I think the trend nowadays is chipmunks! Enchanted has a chipmunk, there is a movie called Alvin and the Chipmunks, and even the Golden Compass girl's daemon (read:demon) also looks like a chipmunk. Only Chip and Dale are missing the spotlight. Lol.

Christmas is near so it's time to prepare for it... (Deck the halls with boughs of holly... It's the season to be jolly and be thankful for all that we have... Oh and God bless us everyone, the good or the bad, the happy the sad...)

RCIY Camp

Huaaah... I am very sleepy and tired after the camp. Slept for a total of 7 hours in 2 days. Usually I need >8hours per day. I have a lot of 'sleep debt' to be paid.

The camp was pretty fun, although of course it was inevitable that some people are just gifted with sucky attitude, loud, intolerant, impolite, arrogant, and not to mention childish. Lol, no condemnation because this kind of people are just everywhere. Ok maybe everywhere is wrong because the only example I can give is at school. Haha... Hmm... I am not blaming them because it is not their choice to be sucky and yeah they have their full rights to say I suck also. I am not so desperate to make as many fake friends as possible anyway. I am not desperate. I look for people who can accept me (and whom I can accept) not trying to be accepted by people. And I am luck to be gifted to look into people... So I don't need to waste my money/time or my talent to act friendly to anyone because I can see whether someone is genuinely wanting to be my friend or someone who just wants to suck something from me or to widen his/her personal network. Well, friendster/facebook syndrome... 'Yay I have so many friends I have so many photos.' What shit...

Ok I've been blabbering nonsense. I shall write about the camp. Hoho... for 2.5 days I had free meals and the meals were pretty decent: a HK cafe, mcd big breakfast which does not live up to its name, barbeque (though I ate satay and otah only -_-), and Katong Laksa (I expected it to be damn good or something but I thought it was pretty disappointing. The gravy was quite tasteless, the serving was small, and inside was only few pieces of cockles, prawn, and strips of fish cake. And now I am damn hungry.

I had a great time exercising too. I biked for 2 hours which was not enough because I never reached the dead end of the CBD direction and I only reached Bedok Jetty at the other end. Nevertheless, I felt that my legs muscles were exercised and up to now, I can feel that the shape of the bicycle seat is etched on my butts. Lol. There was an amazing race game and I ran quite a lot. Hohoho... I was confident that yay! I'm gonna lose weight. Immediately I stepped on the weighing machine today and tadadada.... my weight increased! Haiz...

I was pretty stressed upon arrival because I got the bathroom which was in pathetic condition. The water tank of the toilet bowl was dripping and the shower room had no hanger. Lucky the neighbouring chalet had much better toilet. I tried not to go toilet but I failed. Haiz... No choice, had to prepare some space for the laksa.

The nights were pretty exciting. Although some of the games were quite boring, it was still a good way to spend time. I could not sleep after lying down for 45mins in the first night so I decided to join the playing group until 330. On the second night, we ended earlier but in my room, my roomates and I exchanged ghost stories. In the end, the one who was very enthu to say was the one scared most. We slept at about 3.

And the best part of the camp was the gift. Haha... The cathecumens were given rosary. Now I have 3. Haha... I hope the one that I got will not rust (the crucifix is shiny so I am scared that it's a metal or coated-metal...hopefully it's made of steel). My favourite is still my glow-in-the-dark rosary. I guess it's because that's my first one since P6.

Whewww... So long already. We had an angel mortal game and people were just mad. 4 people said I was their angels. The reasons were very lame: stick-man, childishness, boyish handwriting. All like so -_-! I got my angel so easily and she tried so hard to bluff. She even asked someone to write the letter but I was there when she said 'please help to be my scribe'. She gave me a Dars chocolate. Hopefully it is nice. Haha.. My mortal gave me Baby Piglet. This one was pretty hilarious. She and her friend prepared 4 gifts (2 for their mortals and 2 for their angels), they were Baby Pooh, Baby Piglet, Baby Tiger, and Baby Eeyore. When we opened at the same time, it was just damn lame...

Yupz, so overall I guess I enjoyed it. Although I was so pissed because of the bimbotic and childish acts. Nevermind...

Holiday is here. I have prepared the plan for next week. Yay yay yay!!!^o^

PY 1105: PHYSIOLOGY

Well, it's over!!! It's ho ho holiday time... I don't care. It was another terrible paper but I have a reason to be quite optimistic. During CA, I could only do 14 out of 30. Just now I could do 36 out of 60. More than half... CVS was horrendous... I could only do 3 out of 12 -_- Renal was also quite bad but did not count how many (already too many blanks). Lucky the blood and neuromuscular helped...

1 question that I remembered very well: Question 39. It was about an old man who is bedridden and never eats and drinks for several days. He should have... I was very irritated because I could not find the choice HE SHOULD HAVE DIED already... Lol...

Well, holiday is here. Tomorrow is my church camp and I still have not started packing my stuff. It will be my first chalet. I am excited. Haha... Going to beach to play and more importantly: to cycle. Hehe.. I MUST exercise. 3kg were gained during the exam period. Haiz....

PR 1102: PHYSICAL PHARMACY

Haiz... It is the most wicked type of paper I ever encountered in my life. You either know the stuff or you don't. There's no way you can eliminate but for sure... the lucky ones will get more correct answers.... Not only it's either 'yes' or 'no', the TRUE and FALSE are everywhere that even you know the true and false statements, you still can shade wrongly because of the question. Haiz... In the end I guessed about 10 qns... Some were 100% guess work as I had no time to see them...

Wasted about 5 mins figuring out how to draw the graph because I felt that I could crap more for qn 1 than qn 2. In the end I didn't know it should be a line or a curve so too bad. Lucky qn 2b was not too bad.

So far, everything has been bad. Everything that I least expected to be tested made up a significant portion of the exam... From stomach in anatomy, tautomers in ppda, and usp+shake flask thing today... Haiz... The ultimate one is the shake flask method. I did not even remember it is called shake-flask... When I looked that page, I immediately flipped over -_- Could crap a bit but the centrifugation part how to crap lor... Lucky I never 'lied' otherwise I wrote 'speed 10g for 60mins'. Confirm gigi knew I never read...

Anyway, it's all over tomorrow... So just wait for the christmas present from NUS.

PR 1101: PHYSICOCHEMICAL PROPERTIES OF DRUG ACTION

Could not finish
Could not do well
Could not re-check the mcqs
Could not even count how many mcqs I whacked

Surprisingly I was not as sad and as depressed as Alice in Wonderland...

GEK2500: LIVING WITH CHEMISTRY

The papers are just getting worse. Today, 25marks are like -_-!!!

Alice (in Wonderland) tells the cat: "Looking-glass milk isn't good to drink."
How the hell am I supposed to know what she is saying? I never read the book or watch the cartoon... Is this a chemistry subject or a literature subject? Haiz... The notes and open book format do not really help much, although today the notes was much more useful than the previous small tests.

History is made! Today was the first time I walked out of examination hall for a proper/formal exam before the time ended. No point of staying there longer...

Sucks sucks sucks... No point of studying here any longer...

AY1104: ANATOMY

Finally it's over. All my effort for the past 5 days, my prayers, my sacrifice not to buy toys yesterday so as to quickly come home and not to go online yesterday was completely wasted wasted WASTED! I shall not recall the painful experience and I will just say it sucked! A lot of thing I never expected to come out was tested and the worst among all was the stomach... I got things mixed up, I cancelled away the correct stuff, and I wrote wrong stuff. Damn it la! Gone is this subject.... My only hope to save my cap. Arrgh... The more I think of it the sadder I become. I spent so much time today to dwell in my sadness and tears but I am still sad now. I threw away the notes twice... Wanted to throw the textbook also but I still need it next semester. Haiz... It totally ruined my day that I even lost the tune of the song I am addicted to for the past few days...

Go away stupid anat!

Oops... i forgot the exam question paper!

Haiz... Nevermind... No use crying over spilt milk... I thought I had a lot to write but then -_- My bad day was completed by a plastic plank on the lift which fell onto my head... No worry... Too dumb liao... A few neurons die also makes insignificant difference.

1 year

It's been exactly a year since I started blogging.
Not much nice improvement here since last year.
Maybe I should learn how to put songs or animation here.
Hahaha...

If last year I was busy preparing for Biology P1, Chem S, and Phy S, this year I am busy preparing for physiology+anatomy (biology for university level -_-), ppda, and physics-al pharmacy. What a nightmare... A repeated nightmare. Last year I was sick of mugging but I could just rush through everything because the materials for bio had been mugged for almost 2 years (and it was mcq paper) and the s papers were meant for fun anyway (so not so much stress). But now... Although I am also very sick of mugging, I am not familiar with the topics and the pressure is very intense. Study so hard but the following day everything is already forgotten.

Spent more than an hour on phone today but I still managed to hit my target (although renal was speed reading and I did not refer to the textbook). Tomorrow agony begins. 4 days to rush 9 chapters of anatomy. Darn...

Yesterday I attended the exam mass. Actually I did not go for the mass but rather to distribute the exam pack I was supposed to give. Haiz.. I was pretty shocked with the rally before the mass. I cannot believe to see fanatism and I was a bit reluctant to go for World Youth Day if it will be some kind of fanatism show... But the moment the Father mentioned about A380...oh well, I don't care! I must go. Haha... My only chance to fly with SQ. A380 some more...

My revision is doomed. I did not go into physio today and did not finish ppda also -_-! What demoralises me even more is that I cannot recall the physical pharmacy notes about log P or the ppda notes I read 2 days before. Haiz... Notice I use 'cannot' and not 'could not' because even up to now I still cannot remember.

Ok, I am rushing to write this before the day is over because it's Janice's birthday. Happy birthday :) :D :P

Can Can
We did play this as harmoc concert encore. A bit unbelievable (the tempo and the fact that the notes are jumpy and very difficult to play using harmonica) but yeah we did that!!!! WOW~!

I Surrender....

Lord,
You know what is best;
Let this be done
or that be done
as You please.

Give what You will,
as much as You will,
when You will.

Do with me as You know best,
as will most please You,
and will be for your greater honor.

Place me where You will
and deal with me freely in all things.

I am in Your hand,
turn me about whichever way You will.

Behold, I am Your servant,
ready to obey in all things.

Not for myself do I desire to live,
but for You - would that I could do this worthily and perfectly!



I give up give up give up! There's no way that I can finish my revision T_T

Bad Luck

My bad luck still continues on. Today I lost my transponder and for that I had to pay $40 to get a new one. Haiz... I still cannot believe that I actually dropped it somewhere. I cannot recall where and it is so unlike me because I am not usually this careless. Add that with the $15 in my lost cashcard, I wasted $55 this week :( I hope I get all the bad luck this week and I will be blessed with good luck for my exams. Hopefully... And my bad luck seems to be infecting my friend. He almost lost his file with his notes inside. Thank goodness that he only left it at school canteen and could retrieve it in the end. Haha... The time was a bit late to realise that he misplaced his files but at least I could have Subway for dinner (not to mention the free one hehe...).

Yesterday I was so pissed with myself because I could not do the past year Physical Pharmacy papers even though I mugged for it for the past 2 days. I am really desperate. And my bad habit is still here. I unconsciously vented my frustration to my friend. Haiz... Please forgive me but sometimes I just cannot help it.

I felt much better in the night because I read the info that Spice Girls is reuniting. Oh yeah.... I got the info from the irritating pop-up window which appears everytime I log into msn messenger. This was the first time it gave me something relevant and useful to me. Haha... Although I was glad that they are having a new song, I am disappointed that the song is not very nice. I am not biased in favour of a singer because what I want is the song. Haha... Good song then I like. But maybe I am quite biased for them because come to think of it, not all their songs are nice lah. Haha... I don't know. Now that they are older, they change their images. I don't think Mel B is scary anymore and I am surprised that Geri looks so old (with wrinkles). Aha... she joined back to earn more money to inject botox. Lol... But I hope their subsequent new songs would be nice so that I won't hesitate to buy the album.

Today was the last anatomy lesson. I am a bit sad. Although I don't normally pay attention or care to touch/see the specimen, it is the only time that I can chit-chat/gossip/and bitch with my happy 3G friends. Lol. I hope in the lab sessions for another module in next semester, I would be still with them. Hehe... Additional nice people to talk to.

Ok, I shall sleep now so that tomorrow I can wake up early. I never studied today so I must speed up tomorrow. Haiz... At the rate I am going, there's no way I am going to have enough thermal energy to overcome the primary maximum energy barrier to cross over to the higher-than-average group :'(

A nice show :) just skip the talking part...

Let's get Cheenah!

Ok ok... too much western music already. Now it's time to get cheenah! The catalyst is my harmoc vcd. Lol. It reminds me how cheenah harmoc is and for whatever activity, there has too be a chinese song (I don't know about Christmas caroling though) but interestingly, we were always to lousy to perform for CNY celebration.

Yu Jian
Was played at Resonance VII and National Day Performance at the Marina South (and nobody watched -_-!)


Zhi Zhu
Was played at Resonance VIII. I have a great memory because I came up with the skit for the concert although (until now) I still don't know what the song is all about. Lol. I was acting also and I told my friend 'Please put your harmoc on your mouth... Just in case I was too nervous or I laughed, please cover me up". Haha... The audience response was damn good and a friend from the audience kept saying funny things when I was supposed to be seriously playing and seriously being dejected. When I put the photo as my MSN display picture, a friend of mine said I was crying. Lol...


Tong Hua
Hua hua hua.... This is a very damn good song... The first chinese song that I allowed to enter my mp3 player. Haha... Was played during Teachers' Day and Open House. The MV is too messy ah.. And the girl sounds very irritating leh... Oh ya... I saw an X ray but there was no nodular opacities in the X ray. So the girl did not suffer from pneumonia. So what was she dying of? Lol


Ok the title of this song is too long and I shall not risk of 'guessing' it. It is a nice song but how come the harmoc people never wanted to play this song? I don't know. Haha...
And we played none of Jay Chou's song. I thought he is damn good? I don't know...

Haha... Stressed over Physical Pharmacy and I am doing this -_-!
And today is 13 of November, it is Fiona Soh Hui Si's Birthday =) Happy Birthday to her and Happy Mugging...

$15

I am not talking about the price of thing that I want to buy. I am not talking about how much I earn per hour. And nope, I am certainly not selling myself for $15. I am very sad today after I realised that I lost my cashcard with $15 inside. Haiz... I think I took it out from the photocopier yesterday but come to think of it, I might only look at how much money remained and I forgot to punch that stupid green button. Nevermind, I shall take it as a donation. Anyway, it is not as sad as being bottom half of the class for exam.

That brings me to my revision. Amazingly, revising physical pharmacy (maybe 'revise' is a wrong term as this is the first time I seriously looked through and tried to memorise) is a bit fast. 1.5 days and I am already in the dispersed system. Unfortunately, I cannot recall what I have learnt previously. I tried to look at the sample questions the teacher gave and I did not know which formula to use or what the meanings of the symbols in the formula. Doom -_-! I have to re-read again from the beginning. Sucks lah...

I give up on my cough! I almost finished this new bottle of cough syrup and there is no improvement. Nevermind, if it is the time for me to die then so be it... Haiz... I am drinking lots of water so that the sore throat won't return and in hope that the cough will be gone. It is just disrupting my night sleep as I need to go toilet in the nights. Haiz... It has also been raining in the past few nights and I had to wake up in the middle of the night to close my windows. Although it is usually too late and everything is wet already. There was one time that the floor near the window was wet, another time my whole table was wet (and I could not be bothered to wipe) though lucky that I did not put my notes at the center of the table that time, and yesterday some other thing was wet. Chey...

So yah the missing cashcard successfully made my day bad. Thanks to my harmoc vcd that I feel better again. Haha... It's kind of good to watch it.

Top of the World

Lol... From bottom half of the class to top of the world is a bit impossible hor.... Anyway, I put this because it reminded me to our Teachers' Day performance. I was wondering what happened to them as they are very good so I checked wiki. Oh gosh... I was so surprised that the girl is already dead. She died in an age of 32 (so young..) because of anorexia. So sad... T_T


There's a Kind of Hush
Another nice song =) I heard this is one of the latest video made before she died. Can see how thin and sickly she looks. Haiz... God just does not make this kind of people with great talent anymore nowadays..

Church Class

I have been lazy to go to my usual church but I have nothing to complain. It has been a great pleasure to attend masses at Holy Cross. 2 weeks ago, I was lazy to attend the 10 mass (because I thought it was 930 and I woke up at 845 so not enough time to prepare) and I attended the 1130 mass. Cool, it was a confirmation mass and finally, I got the chance to see the Archbishop. He spoke with very much gusto and youthfulness, I was a bit surprised to see how old he is as he was standing outside the church after the mass ended. I think that is why he is an Archbishop. He is already old but he still delivers mass like the younger priests.

Last week I attended the service when the whole choir was children. Oh my God. I think it was very interesting. I think it was nicer, purer, and not so fanciful like the usual adults' choir. Maybe because it was the first time I heard a children choir? Perhaps... Haha.. But I applaud the choir groups there because they sing not to chase after reputation of being good choir whatsoever. The conductor leads with a happy face and the songs are always energetic to make the congregation sings with them. Cheem songs are hardly chosen. Haiz... It is a stark contrast with the choir in other church that I used to be a member. And I love the Kyrie Eleison used in this church :D

Last Friday, my RCIY was the church tour. Hoi hoi... It was a real eye opener to get to see behind the altar and stand behind the altar and see the altar from close and to touch the altar. Hehe... I was hoping to see the relic but unfortunately it was embedded in the altar material (I was expecting to see bone fragments or something... it should not be as scary as what I see and touch in anatomy lab). RCIY has been a great journey. It makes me appreciate mass more. I think people should attend this kind of enrichment so that the mass becomes more meaningful for them. Due to exam, I am skipping the sessions on sacrament of reconciliation, marriage, and holy order... Oh well...

Hmm... Class forum is up. And currently, I am still a by-stander. I shall wait until 99 people join and I shall be the 100th. I am highly doubtful about it though. Haha... It is a bit premature to say now (60+ members but only about 10+ people are actively posting) but I guess it is interesting to see how long this survives. I shall give a benefit of doubt that this is exam preparation period so people are busy. I shall wait until exam is over. A great effort and it is a bit sad if it is wasted just because some people are just too shy/lazy to post or too cannot be bothered about making as many friends as possible.

Living with Chem was over today. I shall not comment on that but lucky it was true/false thing. At least not much to write. Haha... Now my mugging shall be full force :( I am very lazy. Haiz... It is a vicious cycle: lousy performance => lazy to study => even lousier performance => even lazier to study => super lousy performance => don't want to study anymore => and it will just get worse. Sigh...

God, help me!!!

Gosh... no wonder the organ looks so familiar. It is in RISEN CHRIST (I recognise the banner WE ARE ONE... IN THE LORD is the other banner on the right side blocked by the organ) !!!! I am wondering whose hands those are. Certainly not mine. Haha...

Storm

The weather has been wet for the past few days. It's good but I will be more glad if it does not rain in the middle of my sleep at night. I hate to wake up to close my windows as that means my sleep clock is reset to 0 again. I always see thunder every night and the first night I saw it, I bluffed myself by saying 'the person from the opposite block is switching on his light'. Haha... The nicest weather was on Sunday night. It was a thunderstorm. Wahaha... The wind was so strong and as I was walking to the foyer, there was flooding. Lol... Nice to play with the small pools of water but a bit traumatic if I recall my 'real flood' experience at home.

Yesterday was a black out so it was my turn to go play to my friend's place. PS2! Wow! I don't have that one (will not have and not planning to have one as I don't have time to play) so it was a chance not to be missed. Tekken was quite sianz... and the tennis game was also idiotic. We played doubles but the computer kept trashing us (the highest record was 3 points out of a 6-game set). Crazy. But I enjoyed the Marvel heroes game so much. It is the first game (which I know) that can be played by multiple players cooperatively (I'm sick of competition -_-! At school is enough). I like using Storm :) Although her specials are a bit lousy, I like the fact that she can fly. I don't like the other flying girls because I never see them before (Ms Marvel?? Spiderwoman? What a lame-oh). The game allows the characters to have new attire and although the first 3 that I unlocked for Storm are never-seen-before (including her bald retro style), I hope the final one will be the white one that I am most familiar with.

I am still sick... I have living with chem CA tomorrow. And I spent 2 days on renal physio but I still understand+remember nothing. Sadness...

Renal...

I am in the mid of Renal -_-! I have been doing that from 10am and until now I am still at the 3rd set of notes. Text book is still untouched. My target to complete renal and respiratory by tomorrow is confirmed unachieved.

I was smsing with my friend in medicine. And I find it amusing and ironic at the same time that last year we were so eager to get where we are right now but after we got in the course of our dream, now we are cursing. That's life. There's nothing easy. And I realise the reason why society here is at the state what it is. The education teaches the people to be individualistic self-centred jerks. It is ironic that during the welcome address of the head of department, she said something about 'working together as a team'. Haha... I think the curve system does not encourage team work. How can you help your friends to do well if that makes your 80% mean a C-grade? In JC people are already 'killing' one another though how others do do not really affect yours. Now?

Wheew... this gives me goosebumps... Celine Dion with her ever divine voice. The Power of the Dream. I like the 'It's the moment that you think you can't, you'll discover that you can'. But does that apply to me? Haha...

-_-!

My depression made me forget my 'birthday'. 28th of October should be the commemoration of my arrival here 5 years ago. It has been a long time and I am still not sure whether I made the right choice (actually my parents' choice leh.. not mine..) but it is getting closer to make me think that I made a terribly wrong decision -_-!

My physical pharmacy lab reports were like -_-! Bad as compared to the rest (remember, it's a theory of reLAtivity, not reALitivity in uni) although considering the little effort I put for the reports. I think the markers judged based on the length -_-! No fair!!!! I put little effort in writing but I put a lot (really LOT and maybe the most as compared to other people) of effort to fake results (and persuading fellow bench mates to fake too) and make my answer as concise as possible. Lol. Haiz... -_-! The ppda prac test was also out. Not too bad but add that to the CA and I am still below average -_-!

So yup, I finally make up my mind... I realise that I am too dumb to excel here. Anyway I won't be able to get C.A.P of 4.5 and get A+ for FYP. So better don't put unreasonable target and just forget 1st class honour or whatever lah... If only I don't have 'free money' or any pride (arrogance, envy, kiasuness or whatever it is) I would already lead a very happy life from today onwards. Haiz... My parents' fault again... Why give my name which inherently a kiasu attitude... Should name me something along the line of cute -_-!

I am failed as a pharmacist!!! Yesterday I got my first 'patient'. She asked me the name of medication for worm.. Lol. I could not give the answer but I gave advice on how to get it from Guardian without embarrassing herself. Haha... I am also overdosing myself with strepsils since yesterday and until now, my sore throat is still there. In fact, my condition worsens as now I am having cough and sneezing as well. Lucky I nvr die because of overdoses -_-!

I decided to blog again because anyway I am too lazy to study -_-!

Ok... I shall go to bed. How many -_-! I put in today's entry? ELEVEN!!!! (Including the title). I am really really feeling -_-!

THE GREAT DEPRESSION

FROM TODAY ONWARDS, I SHALL CLOSE THIS BLOG FOR AN UNPRECEDENTED PERIOD OF TIME. I SHALL DO MY LAST BID TO STRIVE MY BEST FOR MY STUDIES. IF IT STILL FAILS.... IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE...

Dear God...

Among the 4 modules that I am taking right now, I think anatomy is the best (okay.. CA on next Thursday aside)! It teaches me a lot of things that I never or perhaps, may not be able to experience in real life. Haha... Okay, maybe that applies only to the last 2 weeks. Lol. Though I was a bit sickened of the catheterisation last week, this week's parturition is quite okay. Maybe I could take it because I cannot imagine how it feels as I won't be giving birth anyway. Haha.. Too bad they never showed the whole process and hence I cannot tell whether the giving birth scenes in the movies are real or mere exaggeration. On top of that, now I know the difference between tampon and sanitary pads (I thought they were synonyms) and have seen various contraceptives. Lol.

Today was a black-jeans day. I do not know why but a lot of people were wearing black top and jeans bottom today. Haha... If the weather is not so hot here, I would love to wear black more often. It makes me look slimmer :) Although I cannot cheat myself of being slim, I can trick everyone else to think that I am thin. Haha... I was lazy to exercise today although it was a great opportunity as lesson ended at 330 today. And to make things worse, I finished a pack of sweets while studying. Oh no... Dear God... if You cannot make me thin, at least make my friends fat....

I am very tired today. I guess I had insufficient sleep last night. It is okay because I had a hell of great time yesterday. Hihihi.... Great day.. Today I was a bit moody, especially when I was reading the keto-enol. There are 5 molecules to draw the tautomers and yah... never mind, I will do it some other time. After anatomy CA perhaps. I am doomed for that because even up to now I still haven't touched any single chapter. Oh no... Dear God... if You cannot make me smart, at least make my friends stupid...

And this is a video for Alvin Chua :) Happy Birthday and see the hidden messages :)

7 Deadly Sins

Lust

Erm... I am too young to talk about being lustful. And it is not appropriate to talk about this thing publicly. Anyway, I do not normally lust after someone. I like or love that person, not lust after that person. But I do lust for certain things such as good food, anime, manga, toys, etc. Lol. Sometimes it is very difficult to prevent impulse buying for such things so I guess, they are no longer my hobbies. They have become my lust objects. Okay.. Enough... It is starting to sound a bit gross -___-

Gluttony

Oh no.. I will gain weight again. I will be a pig. Yesterday I ate chicken steak and beef steak. I had subway+old chang kee for lunch today and I am planning to have steak again for dinner. My cheetos has been sitting there in my room for 3 weeks, waiting to be opened and eaten soon. Haiz... Actually I am eating steak lately because it is from the new canteen in PGP. I know that soon the serving will be smaller and smaller. Now it is introductory time so they give bigger portion. Haha... I guess so...

Avarice

Let's talk about the money... Show me the money... I am still studying so money is still not on my mind. But I want money (lots of money) to fulfil my other desires eg: eating nice food, buying toys, etc. This is why I must maintain a C.A.P of 3.50. Otherwise I lose money... Money money... MY MONEY!!!!!

Sloth
Currently, this is my most sinful sin! I cannot help myself from being lazy. I am lazy to study... And the worst is I am even lazy to pray. Haiz... I have no more power now. I believe it prayer+study+luck to succeed in life. My luck is low and add that up to no study and no pray... I'm dead T_T

Wrath
I am very angry at myself. I know that I am lazy but I still do nothing about it! Sometimes I feel just like giving up and think of myself as stupid! This world is not a The Sims world anyway. I always believe that God created humans like how we create the people in The Sims. Every person is given the same number of 'bars' and how you distribute it will determine you characters' habits. So if someone is very good at something, he will be bad at other thing. If your stats is mediocre, then you are mediocre in everything. Unfortunately humans are created unequal. Some were born with more luck, more wealth, more talents, etc. I think I am a mediocre one... The Bible says something like: those who are given more, more will be expected of them. I guess little will be expected of me so I shall not pressurise myself also.

Envy
Kiasu virus infected me again one more time. I was quite devastated with my physio results. Haiz... I failed to be grateful although I met my target. This had to be because I compared with other people. Shit! I shall not compare already... I shall console myself that I don't normally do well for MCQs. Next time can be better... Ow shoot... this module is forever MCQ. I don't know how already...

Pride
In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self. Pride is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation. -> I took this from somewhere. I don't know what to write because there is nothing I can be proud of right now...

All sections are filled... I am very sinful... I am very dead....

L

Lazy

I am really lacking of self control... I cannot believe it that I had so much fun this weekend that I only managed to read lecture 12 of PPDA. I have not even prepared for my physio tutorial tomorrow. Haiz... 4 weeks left until exam starts and I shall really focus on my studies tomorrow onwards. I shall forgive myself for this week and anyway... I had really a lot of fun. Really lots of fun :)

Lips
My curse towards Angelina Jolie backfired! I always insult her for her larger-than-life lips and I think now I am in the progress to get that ultra mega sexy lips -_-! My lower lip is still constantly scratched by the wire on the braces and to avoid the same part of being scratched repeatedly, I have been pulling my lips upside or outside. It will be getting longer soon. I just hope the tooth faster move back so that the wire is pulled back also or that part of the lip gets immune to the scratchy sensation as soon as possible.

Love
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone you that you adore

Fridays

This week is rather slack and I felt that I had so many fridays. Tuesday felt like a friday, thursday felt like a friday, and the friday is obviously a friday. Lol... Maybe friday means a good day for me.

No more lab on tuesdays so that means I only have 2 hours of Living with Chem on tuesday. Last tuesday was rather slack because the lecture ended early. And it was rather a happy day because someone made sushi. Hohoho... The moment I opened the lid of the food container... Yummy Yummy!!!... It smelled good :) Unfortunately the tuna was already warm, so it was not very nice. See lah... should have put japanese yellow pickles instead. But it was still good. Lol.

Thursday was another joyous occasion. It was Bunny's birthday and we celebrated it together with Bernice's (which was on the 1st October a.k.a PPDA CA). My faith in Bread Talk cake was revived. Last time I bought the vanilla cake dunno what and bleaaah it tasted horrible. But that chocolate cake was damn good! It was very chocolaty... I ate 1/8 of the cake and now I wonder how many calories I added on that day. Lol. But it is okay. I walked a lot on Thursday. After school I walked from central back to pgp and at night... when I returned home, the back gate was already closed. Holy cow! I had to walk back a long way via KR and all... I was a bit scared but I reached back safely and soundly. I was surprised that at 1+ there were 2 girls who were running and KR was still buzzing with life. Haha.. Although it was very tiring, the results of my 'exercises' on Thursday paid off. Today I am 58.5 kg. Then complacency kicked in and I cancelled my exercise this morning... Haiz...

Thursday is a very important day for me! It marks the very first time I ponned lecture in university. Oops... not exactly true because I got pon Living with Chem a lot but I guess I don't count it as a subject. Haha..

My mouth is still very painful. I cannot enjoy my food and I cannot eat fast. Hopefully it helps me to lose weight. Otherwise I am suffering for nothing.

I had a bad day!

Change all the YOUs to Is :(


*Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind*
*You can't change the past but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future*
*If you don't like something, change it! If you can't, change the way you think about it*
*Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it*
*Thank God for what you have, trust him for what you need*
*Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gear*
*To get out of a difficulty, you must go through it*
*Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend on others*
*For every 60sec you are angry, you lose 1min of happiness*

.....

It's been few days since the last time I wrote because I was busy socialising for the past 3 days. Haha... Had great fun though. I still believe that I am never ever able to study with someone else because I will end up talking and doing nothing. It is still true but at least I managed to complete lab reports on Sunday and tutorial yesterday. Although I was very tired, bored, and lazy to do yesterday, it was done. Spent quite some time just lazing around and ended up taking narcist photos. Haha.. It's okay.. I don't look cute everyday so while I look good it's okay to spend time for such purposes. Lol.

Unfortunately happiness must end there. I am feeling very very bored. My life is getting so monotonous. School work always zaps my energy. It is not as if I am so busy with school but I don't know how my time just disappears.... Haiz... I just hope the results of PPDA and Physio will be out asap. I think they will be a wake up call for me to start studying properly. It's 17/10 and only 4 wks remaining before 17/11 which marks the start of reading week aka mugging-till-crazy week. My physical pharm is still untouched. Add the new topics after the CAs and just the thought of it makes me sick.

My mood is very bad because of my mouth. I went to see the dentist yesterday and the visit increased my problems with my mouth. I only had tongue scratching the braces last week but now I have 2 new problems: a wire with scratches the inside of my lower lip and a protruding tooth which makes my eating process very painful as it will hit the other tooth on the lower jaw. Haiz... No matter how good the food is.. My mouth makes it bad. Horrible.. I hope the stratified squamous epithelium cells regenerate faster and form thicker layer so I don't feel very irritable.

Today I had lunch with a friend in Medicine. I am glad that she is happier already. Though she was complaining about anatomy... Again again.. I hear lame complains.. She got 75 and she wants 90. My friend who got 90 wants 100. I think those who got 100 wants no other people not to get 100. And if only 1 person gets 100, that person will wish other people get bad results.. Haiz haiz.... Lucky I have discarded this kind of mindset. No point of comparison.. Yes it is okay to compare and feel disappointed for a while.. But please be grateful once your target is achieved.

Crystallisation reminded me of my horrible chemistry olympiad practical round. Lol. Last time I was too impatient to put so much solvent and I ended up with no crystal. I passed up an empty plastic sachet and was desperately to sweep any powders spilled onto the bench top. Today, the reverse happened. I think there was not enough solvent (the instruction only wants 2mL so be it lor) and the 'crystal' that I obtained was the powder of undissolved reactant. Lame... I guess upon heating the 2mL solution evaporated. The %yield was way beyond 100 and I did not care about any spillage... (erm... I was busy sweeping the powders... to the floor instead of to the plastic sachet... lol).

My stamina is getting worse... Yesterday I just walked fast a bit to catch a bus and I was already running out of breath. Today I walked to library and at the slope near the YIH, I was very tired already. I wonder how I managed to walk all the way to Arts last time. Haiz... if I am in the good mood, I shall walk again tomorrow... But I don't know how far will I walk. Lol. Must exercise must exercise because according to the newspaper today, it reviewed a book which says "Being fat is your choice!". What the heck...!!! I do not choose to be lazy to exercise but I do not have the energy to do so... Not my choice lor...

Mwahaha... I think my friend will slap me for writing this. I do not know but he was saying sad sad from yesterday for dunno what reason. So I said "If you are sad, then I am angry". I think he really thinks I am angry... Lol.. I deliberately ignored his sms... Sorry ah... It is meant to be a joke... Whose fault for saying sad sad sad for no reason? And whose fault for lying to me? Haha... I still find this very hilarious and I hope he thinks that way :)

Dunno what to write as title

Today's workshop turned out to be better than expected. I was pretty stressed because I found that most of the people were pretty weird. Their enthusiasm was just weird and a bit too much. I am not the shameless one so I felt pretty akward. But hey... although it may take some effort to completely change my mindset into a businessman's mind, I took something back to be rich in the future. Now I know what passive incomes are and how they generate extra income with no need of working. "Don't work for money but make your money work for you" Kinda cool huh?

Meeting an old friend and my JC scholars clique. I was pretty upset that he never told me where he would be eating (thanks but I would not want to go find him with a clue 'Orchard') but in the end I was being nice and asked him. People have not change (I'm glad for that) although I am often disheartened when my smses to them are not replied. Well... Friendship is a weird thing and I get easily irritated about it. As usual, eating at the Village/Marche won't be fulfilling. Rosti is the only edible thing but oh well, good rosti anyway.

143 was full and what the freak... standing for 45mins... In the weekend which is also a public holiday, how can they provide single deck bus? Haiz haiz....

Treating myself

I am back to my normal today. No more confusion or conflict within me and I feel lighter (although my weight says otherwise). My day is great and the rain which wetted my laundry fails to dampen my mood.

Anatomy result is out. Hurray hurray hurray.... It has been more than 2 years since the last time I got 100. Result aside, it just proves that my secret of success has not change: hardwork+prayer+a little bit of luck. I was so lucky on the test day that even though I was falling asleep, I managed to spot the careless mistake I did for the pulmonary circulation and changed it. It was pure luck and God's intervention. What happens today makes me believe that luck is the most important factor for MCQ tests (does not mean to discredit God's help). I did not prepare at all (meaning I did not memorise anything, though I read briefly first 2.5 sets of notes) for Renal test and yet I got more number of correct answers than the CVS tests which I prepared very hard (I even read the text book for that). No hardwork and just pure dumb luck. After I knew my answers were correct, I could not even say why I chose those answers in the first place. I hope I am this lucky for physio CA and ppda CA. O/w it maybe a sign that I should just slack because I do better when I do not prepare :p

I had a dessert today. Haha.. Initially I wanted to have New Zealand to reward myself but after my dinner, the shop closed liao. I wanted to buy cup ice cream from Cheers but they had none. I checked the fridge part and I saw a weird looking nice thing. I bought it for $3 and okay.... It was a good (in fact, better) replacement for my ice cream. Though up to know I do not know what it is. It is like a soft cake.... I do not know how to describe except that it made me feel happy.

For the first time in about 2 months, I exercised!!! Lol. An obvious drop in performance but nevermind, while I'm 'high' I shall try to exercise more often tomorrow and the following days to come :) I had a very good nap after dinner. I was trying to remember the title of one of the harmoc songs. I could only remember it as 'anything will do" as what it was called last time. But now I remember the real title: Any dream will do. And now I shall continue on my Gundam Wing or maybe play game because it is more exciting. Haha...

And finally Alvin Chua Qijia, you smiled at school today! Lol.


~I don't stop fly high and sky high
Saa yume yo kagayake
Mada minai Boku ni deau
Sono kiseki Azayaka ni egakou~

My 2 selves

I'm tired. I had been sleeping for 4 hours only for the past 3 nights. Maybe exhaustion is the main cause I am feeling very down yesterday. I had a good 30mins crying session but today I still feel pretty bad. It's like I am losing the purpose of my life... What am I studying for? Is what I am doing worth my effort and my time? What is the relevance of everything what I do? Sigh...

One of myselves says that I should not be stressed so much about your studies. Everyone can study but whether you can master and excel in what you are learning is a gift. You may not be gifted so just do your best. Haiz... I wish I imitate the good old times in Indo when I was studying for the sake of studying; when I am trying my best for the sake of the effort, not the results. Coming here has really changed the way I think. I have too admit that I become too kiasu and too result-oriented. ARROGANCE is the very exact word to describe me. I think record of straight As in JC blew up my head. Now I cannot tolerate failures or difficulties I found in my studies. Well... I just need to learn from my experiences. I only need to graduate.. Upon working, all the results don't matter anymore. So I just need to know my limit and accept it. Today's lecture proved it. I could not comprehend anything the teacher was talking about at the second part of her lecture. Maybe that's it for me...

About friendship, I am glad with my current friends. They are great! Although most of the times I feel very sian to go school, I cannot put up my black face because they are just too hilarious and entertaining that my lips will just curve to the opposite direction. Hohoho... After 4 years... Finally I can enjoy people's companions. I'm grateful that these people do not talk about studies so much. Yes we talk about studies when exams are coming but most of the time, we would just talk about anything under the sun (to be exact: anyone under the sun). I feel that the friendship is genuine.

However, my other self really contradicts my former self. It feels that I am too lazy and I have not put enough effort in my studies. I should mug more and keep on mugging and mugging and mugging. Haiz... I am also sick by the monotony of my lives. Everyday goes school and goes along with the same people. I feel quite saturated. I run out of things to say. I do not know why. I also feel that there are many eyesores and though I know I cannot do anything about them, I am just too irritated by them. Sigh... It makes me hate the whole studying environment. I am just sick sick sick sick of everything. And I don't know whether the people I consider friends are real friends of they are just a bunch of 'friends' just because situation forces us to be together. That makes me even lazier to socialise and realise how lonely I am.

Well I don't know which one is correct. I am still finding the answers. The answers are not important! What I want is peace and happiness. I don't care about anything else. So my 2 selves, please stop confusing me and just reconcile. Haiz haiz... A blessing in disguise, in the midst of my confusion at least I realise that I have been neglecting my most loyal friend, who never leaves me alone in my high or low times.. That reminds me to pray more often...

Here are very nice songs and entertaining video clips. The first one is very nice to watch. Nice dresses. Hohoho... The second one is quite funny. Ah... Both make me feel that I am in love.....

IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL.
(Lol... I like the 'gotta let you know.. I'm irresistable')


SAY YOU'LL BE MINE

Strangers

I don't know whether I am too cute, or too adorable, or too friendly, or too smiley, or too bulliable. It is not an exclusive events for the past few days that strangers approach me. It's not that I like the attention and I hate it more when people con me. Hmm... I guess I am destined to go for the cashflow workshop this Saturday. Last Sunday a person approached me at PGP (like nothing better to do leh him) and today a person approached me at Central Library. Both were doing survey and in the end offering that workshop. Haiz... I feel cheated but because these 2 people are very nice to talk to so I forgive them. I hope I can get something useful out of the workshop.

Last Saturday as I was smsing and looking at the incoming bus, I was also smiling. So there was this girl who thought I was smiling at her. I smiled back because I thought I might know her or something. Haiz haiz... And yesterday as I was walking in campus, there was a guy who was running but when he saw me, his eyes followed me (this one is rather ambigous whether he likes me or he hates me). Well, whatever it is I don't want people to stare at me lah.

Today's practical was great. I am pretty sure that I got the functional groups correct. At least I checked for phenol 2x (or 3x) and it was negative. If last week colour trend was brown (from the failed azodye test), this week colour is yellow. I cannot scrub away the yellow orangy color of Brady's Reagent. Haiz.... And I hate yellow. I just ironed my laundry and I realised that my shirts have so many yellow stains. Actually most of them comes from my anti-pimple masks. Other than that, erm... there is ikea meetball stain and some other stains lor. Haiz haiz... Yellow sucks.

Mwahaha... today I was in a very shameless narcistic mood. I spent 30 mins this morning to take some photos of myself. Haha... At last, only 5 passed my cute boy censorship. There are some nice photos when I laugh while putting my head on the pillow. But I delete because I think people will think wrongly as if I am so 'high' because something is happening at the lower parts of my body. Maybe because I think my laughing face is a bit perverted. I don't know. Haha...

Oh ya, do you ever heard: "Nobody's perfect. I am nobody. Therefore, I am perfect"? My friend creates something which I think is very appropriate for my lazy self. She says: "Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect. So why must practice?". Hmm Hmm...

Ok... I am not feeling well. So I shall share some videos which lifted up my mood today :)

1:15-1:40 is funny but 1:20 is the ultimate funny part. Poor boy always get saboed through the series. Erm... minus away the time from 5:16 because upon embedding, the time is from behind, not from 0:00.

Very good song. The song makes me like this character. Hohoho....


The Ultra Mega Narcist Guy! Maybe I should imitate him. The pictures with him holding ABCD are just very funny. Hahaha...


I put this song before. But this one has nicer pictures. It makes me want to watch the whole series again.

Pimples Breakout!

Pimples... Pimples... Pimples... I HATE THE DAMN BLOODY PIMPLES. This is ridiculous. 3 new protruding pimples appeared in my pathetic short and disturbed sleep last night. I seriously cannot think of a reason why suddenly I have so many pimples. I eat what I eat normally and I am stressed for exam just as I am stressed for school. I even stop eating junk food! So there is nothing that can make me suddenly having so many pimples. I just finished my bath today and what the freaking hell, a fresh pimple appeared below my lips :( This sucks...

It is a tiring day today because my sleep was disrupted by the rain last night. I deliberately woke up late and came for practical late today. I was late by half an hour but still.... the practical had not started. Wasted... Should come at 10. It was a very boring practical anyway. Sigh... But we managed to break nothing and finished in two hours (unlike some other groups). One comment about the liquefied phenol water mixture is that the more water you add, the mixture emits weirder smell. It smells like formalin we usually smell in anatomy lab. When I threw away the final mixture of 6mL phenol+12mL water, I have to say it looks like a sample of semen. Should let the girls clean up. Lol.

In addition, we used the time to fake results for practical 6. Haha... It is the most difficult practical to fake results lor. But we managed to do it anyway. All the way for faking! Yeah! I think my bad influence starts to spread. Hahaha.. Physical Pharmacy Lab is over. I just hope I won't have any change for practical groupings for next semester module. It would be great if the people I am not really compatible with are out but then I may get worse people. So I should be contented with my current condition.

I write so long today (actually I still consider now as Tuesday) because my friend just came. And dunno I talked for so long... For hours. Surprisingly, my throat is so dry now. I have lost the ability to talk cock for few hours. I guess it is because I took 9 months rest of talking nonsense. Haiz... but now I got pimple beneath my lips... I guess I touched his legs and accidentally touched my mouth without washing my hand. Ew ew dirt sweat disgusting siah... But cannot do anything la. It was my fault also lah. Hmm hmm... Hygiene should be number 1. Lucky I remember to wipe the seat before I sat down. Otherwise... ew ew ew.. I shall not go into details. Sorry my friend, I am not condemning you or something here. If there is no pimple then I will not complain. Haha...

Erm... I don't know what else to write. I am tired already. I have not really prepared for practical test tomorrow so I shall do that tomorrow morning. I think right now I am already in Mugging Mode Level 1. I managed to finish exercise 5 today although I did not hit my target to memorise chapter 8 and 9. Sigh... I shall try that tomorrow. I have to increase to Max Level as soon as possible.

Fresh start

Finally, Physio was over this morning and that marked the end of the CAs. It had been 2 gross days to prepare for physio. I ran out of so many chemicals in my body and now it is the time to re-stock everything back to normal value. Negative feedback... Homeostasis... Sigh... I did not finish reading the textbook last night. As a result, I was so anxious in my sleep that I woke up several times. Haiz... And today's paper was really bad. First question I already did not know. In total, out of 30, I am sure only about 14. The rest had some degree of guessing. And as usual, my guessing is not very good so.... I shall not say.

Today I am very much disgusted and I finally know that mugging has reached a new high. I always think that a long-winded (add fullscap some more) for practical answer is already too much but today I saw worse. Haiz... an FYP report! I shall not say more. Just the thought of it makes me want to vomit out my char siew and liver dinner. Lol. Faster faster.. Give back results. Haha... I want to see how these people fare. This is very depressing. I wish that I am not a bloody kaypoh guy but I really want to 'humble' this people. Ow well... seeing my current studying style, I guess there's no way I can do that. Never mind... I shall enjoy my life as long as my cap 3.50 is achieved and just bear with daily irritance seeing these people.

I shall not repeat the same mistakes and shall preparing for end-semester exam. Haiz... My head is spinning everytime I try to absorb Physical Pharm.... But like it or not... IT HAS TO BE DONE! :( The same with other modules. Although it pretty useless for the 2 bio modules (I read and I will forget) but I will do it anyway. Coming tomorrow is PPDA Acid and Bases... Haiz.. There is exercise 5 waiting to be done. Good luck, myself!

Regrets

I regret that I did not study on Thursday because of preparation for blood donation as an excuse

I regret that I did not study yesterday because strenous exercise was forbidden after blood donation and I assume that mugging is a strenous exercise for my brain but I ended up with watching Gundam Wing

I regret that I did not study for blood during the tutorials

I regret that I slept too much and studied neuromuscular too slowly today

I regret that I am blogging now instead of studying though I know that there is no way I can finish physio

I regret that I have no idea what to crap for my practical 5 report

I regret that I don't like bio

I regret that I am not smart

I regret that I just realise that regrets always come late.

But my biggest regret will be when I do not get A for physio T_T

Blood Donation :)

Whew... I do not know but I was tripped 3 times today. First time was at PGP bus stop (lucky I did not twist my ankle thought it was a pretty bad trip), second time was when I walked from LT 33 to Subway, and the third time was when I walked to PGP canteen (tripped as I climbed up a stair step). Besides I am lucky that I did not twist my ankle, I am glad that I did not fall. Hoho...

Today is the long awaited day. Haha... I have proven that I DO NOT FAINT FOR A BLOOD DONATION! Yihaaaa.. Last year the fainting was due to dehydration and not because of nervousness or scared. Because today I was nervous also (my pulse rate went to 89 bpm, better than my friend who reached 97 bpm) but I did not faint. Haha.. Yeah.. I hope the next one will come and I can donate again. I think it was pretty obvious who donated blood for the first time and the repeat ones. Lol.. I was seriously amused to look the big jumbo macho guys looked a bit scared. I'm small and weak looking so even if I faint it is normal mah... It is so ironic that those who are so interested to donate may not be able because of various reasons but those who may be able to donate are not interested. Sigh... And I have found a worse reason (worse than to lose weight) to donate blood: to get an award! Lol.... Btw my weight increased after I donated. Haha. And this reminded me to take my Fe tablet. It says before food but oh well. Too late already. It's better late than never.

Erm that is a picture of my arm. The blood stain is much better than my first time (when I fainted) but too bad I already don't have that photo anymore. You will be grossed out because I was grossed out that time. Hmm... my grip is still too weak. Hopefully next time, I will be more experienced and no more leakage.

Today my friend came to my place because he was avoiding a blackout at his place. I let him try how sucky my connection is. Too bad that in the morning, people are at school, so it is not as bad as in the night (come at the evening next time, boy!). I am seriously worried that there is a problem with my laptop. He could easily connect to the wireless but I failed to connect. Then his msn replies were sent faster than mine thought our laptops were side by side. Sheeeesh....

Today's lecture was disappointing. It was not as interesting as I expected. But at least he got answer the few 'how?' questions lah...

I shall sleep early today and prepare to 2 days physio mugging marathon. I don't think I have time to read the questions worth 4 hours of waiting on the Monday during the mid-semester break. Darn....

October

Anatomy is over! It's over so I shall not try to talk about it anymore. It was my worst exam/test experience. I did not why but I felt very lethargic today. I fell asleep during the test. Haha.. The moment the teacher said "Those who are done, please raise up your hand", I immediately raised up my hand. Still I want to thank God that in the midst of my extreme sleepiness, I managed to spot a careless mistake (I am still hoping that it was indeed wrong and I changed it to the correct one and NOT THE CONVERSE!). I had been very tired since last night (although I slept early yesterday) and even reading digestive system plus listening to renal lecture failed to keep me awake during physio lecture. Madness... And I realise that I am really irritable when I feel sleepy. Lucky I did not follow my friend who stubbornly asked me to go donate blood today. O/w I confirm fainted lor.

I made an improvement today. If a few weeks ago, I walked from Science to Central Library, today I walked until Business. Haha... Next time I shall consider go all the way to PGP. Lol. My PGP friends did not believe it when I told them as I met them at Arts Canteen. Haha.. It is a bit unexpected for a lazy boy like me lah. So their reaction is not surprising.

This afternoon my friends came to PGP (I think they took the wrong bus although they said they came especially to see me) but too bad (for them, but lucky for me) that they called me 5 minutes after I left my room for lunch. I did not have my phone with me so I did not receive the call. Haha... I shall put the photos of my room here so that they won't be so curious anymore. My room is REAL okay! It's tidy for a boy's standard. I did not clean especially to take photos but I did deliberately the pretty messy portions of my room (such as beneath the bed).

I hope that kills their curiosity instead of making them more curious to 'roomwarm' my room. My room is already too hot! And I am already too hot! Haha...

October is here and that means autumn. Haha.. today as I walked, every time the wind blew, leaves were falling. So romantic... If only I had someone walking together with me and nicer kinds of leaves that fell. Haha... So the soundtrack of this month is October by Suwabe Junichi.

I am taking a break from mugging today as I am preparing for blood donation tomorrow. I hope I pass the test (Last time I did leh!) and I hope that I won't faint. People are wondering why I am so enthu about donating. Hello... I am not so noble that I want to donate because I want to help people. My reasons are: 1) losing weight 2) I want to see whether I faint again or not. If I don't, that proves that last time I fainted because it was my first time. So I was inexperienced. If I faint again.... erm.... it is not fainting. Actually it is just falling asleep for awhile because lack of blood makes you feel tired and sleepy and you cannot open your eyes or lift up your body. So yup.. It is sleeping.

And this marks my 100th post of the year! :)