Usually I will say saturated but now it is worse because there is just so much information, some (in fact, most) is already out of my head.
I'm sick of mugging
I'm sick of school
I'm sick of Subway
I'm sick of the songs in my com
I'm sick of the hot weather
I'm sick of going online
I'm sick of blogging
I'm sick of monotony
I'm sick of praying
I'm even sick of myself!
Usually I'm sick only for the first two but now I'm sick of everything. The only things I am not sick of are smsing (wow... 300 sms for the past week and to one person only... what a special person!) and sleeping...
Wowowowowow... What a nice number! Haha... I want to be number 1! Not number 111! Anyway, it's a nice number so it shall be the title for today.
So...my bad habit has not disappeared yet. I still love to play a game called MOOD SWING. I was so down that my friend thought I was angry at/because of him. Haha... Well, maybe it was quite a big blow for me because that was the first time I experience mood swing in the last 1 month.
Today I felt better but unfortunately I had a stomachache. So ya like that lor. Haha...
I finally gave up on my studies. I do not think my human ability is enough to conquer the vast knowledge of university academia. I must turn to my God and invoke his help and other divine beings with me. Haiz... I know it's wrong to make God as the last resort because he should be the first!
Today mass was also quite good. It taught me the sin of omission i.e. not doing the correct thing you should do. Sigh...
I am busy reading through www.catholic.org to read about the saints. Haha... I guess I will choose St. Jerome as my patron saint. I can ask him to pray so that I will be more patient and more guarded with my tongue/behaviour/thoughts. Like me he is irascible (I deliberately highlight this because it is a new word for me) which means becomes angry very easily. Raphael is not bad also because he is a patron for eye disorders, youth, as well as pharmacist (I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!). Last but not least, St. Joseph of Cupertino who intercedes for students going for examinations. AAARGH!!! Everyone please help for me!!!
On this very night of 28 September 2007, I pledge that if I get an average less than 70% for my CA's, I shall assume back my JC form. I shall put my studies as my top priority, I shall not socialise, I shall spend 10 minutes of lunch and spend the rest of my break time to study, and I shall limit my daily internet usage for e-mail and notes-printing purposes only (or 30 minutes which ever ends earlier). This is so that I can achieve an average of 70% at the next examination.
If I get an average of 70%, then I shall limit my daily internet usage for e-mail, notes-printing purposes, a bit of friendster and chatting only (or 45 minutes which ever ends earlier). This is so that I can achieve an average of 85% at the next examination.
If I get an average of 85%, then I shall limit my daily internet usage for e-mail, notes-printing purposes, a bit of friendster and chatting and gaming and blogging only (or 60 minutes which ever ends earlier). This is so that I can achieve perfect scores at the next examination.
If I get perfect scores, then I shall limit my daily internet usage for e-mail, notes-printing purposes, a bit of friendster and chatting and gaming and blogging only (or 60 minutes which ever ends earlier). This is so that I can maintain my results at the next examination.
In short, I shall be a MUGGER from this moment onwards.
Signed THE SORROWFUL DARKROSE OF SORROW 25/09/07 23:08:08
Finally, the mid-sem break is over. Only a weekend is left for me to clear everything and build up my confidence of next week. Honestly, I am very discouraged and not confident at all. It will be the first test in uni. Will I make it for uni standard? Haiz... The answer will be revealed in one to three weeks time.
I have been very lazy... I did not study much. I guess I have disappointed many people, including to those people who has thought of me as their role model, as a very good and hardworking student. In the end I succumb to the evil called internet. I hope whatever my CA results are, it wlll be a wake up call for me to start studying properly... Please... I am awake already so I don't need like EEE to wake me u even more... (Oh no.. tissue... tissue... where is my tissue...).
Yesterday I took a break to have fun at Orchard. Unfortunately it was a big disappointment. There was no exciting exhibition at both taka B2 and B1 talking hall. I went to HMV and I guess $30 for a movie was too much. So because I could not shop anything, I did not feel that my depression was alleviated. So I just read some books in the library (that was the first time I know a complete story of Snow White and that actually Disney made a cross-over story between 7 Dwarfs and Dumb). I managed to get 2 Baby Blues books and I read Full Metal Alchemist 4 and 5. Sigh... I cried when General Hughes was killed. T_T.
Ah ya, yesterday I ate with a friend at Yoshinoya. Then we talked up to 1020 and the doors at Takashimaya were already locked. Woah... was pretty startled to look for which door was not locked yet. But it was a good and funny experience. In addition, we crossed the Taka-Paragon junction, and according my friend, it was a special time (1030) because once every 30 minutes, all the red light will be on and the pedestrians can cross the junction diagonally. Hohoho... pretty cool to me (I think I have been a bit crazy and insane to find this kind of trivial thing COOL!)
For the first time ever, I did not go online yesterday and I slept at 1. Haha... But interestingly, on the day, I felt more tired than at those days when I slept at 3 or 4. Very weird but I guess it's better to get my body to normal school time already. And today I received 35 new e-mails. What the freak... If I check everyday, I get around 5 new ones... But on the day I never checked, I got so many spam mails.
I went for a ridiculously short hair cut yesterday. And as I was admiring my new hair last night, I realised that my face is deformed! Haiz... my mouth is not at the center of the face, my right cheek bone is more protruding than the left, my right cheek is fatter, and my ears are not in 1 straight line. The possibility for a plastic surgery is greater for me. Haha...
I am getting very sick of all the laundry business. I think I wasted about 6 hours each week for the whole ironing chore. It is very ironic that others spend their free time to go meet friends, go Orchard, give tuitions, teach piano, and any other better reasons than laundrying. But it saddens me most when I hear that people spend their free time to mug. I want to mug also... But hey..let's be positive, I think 'doing laundry' still sounds better than 'joining hall activities'. Haha...
Ah ya, 6 hours is only for the massive amount of laundry. There is still the little laundry which is the underwear. Though I have a lot of sets, I only wear 3. Thus I must wash and iron for every alternating days. Add all the minutes spent to hand wash and iron these, it will be another 3 hours per week. NOOOO!! Everytime I think of this, I feel like just wearing disposable ones. But the memories of OBS return (the disposable ones look like girls' panties and when I wore those, I felt as if I was wearing nothing). So maybe wearing nothing is a viable option. And I have come to realise that I need to buy clothes with the 'crumpled wrinkled' design. Then I don't need to spend so much time to iron them because they look a bit crumpled and wrinkled anyway.
Because I am in a very bad mood today, I shall put ugly meaning of some words of wisdom :p
1) The wise says: Optimists say the glass is half-full; Pesimists say the glass is half-empty. I say: it depends on what is inside the glass. If it is wine, the glass is half-full (1/2 glass of wine is a bit too much). If it is coke, the glass is half-empty (I want more!).
2) The wise says: Life is like a roller-coaster. Sometimes you are at top, sometimes you are at the bottom. I say: But how come there are more times I am at the bottom than I am at top? In roller-coaster more time is spent up there!
3) The wise says: No pain no gain. I say: Who the hell want to lose something in order to get something? I want to gain things with no pain!
Sigh... my Internet Explorer and my Mozilla gave me different results to embed these videos.
The first 4 are from Sister Act. Hey hey hey... Great movie... and great songs! Who say Catholic church is boring? And I guess the nuns form the best choir group that I ever heard. Haha... So all you people who can sing don't be so arrogant. These old ladies can sing better than you. Hoho.. I think my church choir is more boring than them leh. Haha...
HAIL HOLY QUEEN The one I love most!
MY GOD The original song is My Guy.
I WILL FOLLOW HIM
OH HAPPY DAY! Hmm... Youngsters want to complain that cannot compare them with aunties? How about this boy? I wonder how he did the 2:30 part. Goosebumps!
Okay... next is the more light-hearted ones. Haha... Final Fantasy VIII and Lunar endings.
The song during the credits is very nice. Very very nice. I look for the whole ending song and cut it for that section only.
I always cry everytime I watch this video. The music... the voices... the expression... When Luna's tears drop... Aaaargh... I cannot stop mine from flowing also. This is how true friendship should be!
Supposedly, yesterday was the peak of the Mid-Autumn Festival. So yes, the moon is full for the past 3 days and I snap some photos. Haha...
Anyway, I am feeling very down and very sad today. On 1 side, I finally finished the agonising anatomy notes. On the other side, I cannot recall anything so I feel that I have been wasting my time. Haiyo... crying and complaining also no use. My last weapon is to pray (I know it is wrong and prayer should be the first thing I do). Yupz.. I shall cry some more tonight. I hope that tomorrow I can finish all PPDA notes so that I can read all anatomy for one more time (then physio how? dunno!). Sigh...
Oh ya, yesterday I spent so much time in the Youtube to watch the ending of several RPGs. Haha... Comparing Lunar and FF VIII, I have to say that I prefer Lunar now. It makes me produce more tears during the ending (haha... lame reasoning). Overall, though I feel that FF VIII has a more enjoyable gameplay (and obviously the fantastic and addictive card came which only geniuses can collect all without cheating) and greater character designs, I still prefer Lunar which boasts a more touching stories. nice music, and I fancy 2D anime style animation more than 3D CG. And while FF VIII characters are more real (they are students), personality-wise, Lunar characters are more human. Yeah... so Lunar rocks. I shall repeat the game as last time I missed 1 bromide anyway.
Erm yesterday I went to the website where I got Lunar midis long-time ago. Woah... now no more midis but can get the whole album. Yay! Now I am listening but how come the music is so depressing. The songs make me feel even sadder. Sigh... Oh ya, I heard the Japanese version of the opening and Luna's Boat song and I am surprised that actually this is the first time that the English cover of a Japanese song is nicer.
Gosh.. I am not feeling better. I hope tomorrow there are nice things I can buy when I go to Orchard.
You are Squall Leonhart, the hero. You like to be withdrawn for the most part. When you consider someone a friend, you trust them with everything. It's not easy for you to get hurt. Mentally, that is. You could really care less. You also like to think things through before acting out. All of the bad emotions, you shove to the back of your mind. You don't exactly like responsibilities. You tend to act cool, and tough. But you're actually a big softy. Way to go, you.
You are Quistis Trepe, the really smart girl. You like to have someone to talk to. It's not always good to be alone. Being around people is a good thing for you. Having friends to be around is a major plus in life to you. You like to get things done right, and not sloppily most of the time. You have a great attitude through almost anything. Only frustration can break through your usually calm attitude. You're awesome!
Haha... if you are wondering what I am doing, I am posting the results of some random quiz that I did yesterday. Out of the FF VIII quizzes available, only this one has 'good' questions... not so related about the game so I cannot be biased. Haha.. The very first time I did, I get Squall as my result. Ew... I don't really like him but I read the descriptions.. They are quite accurate. And oh well, at least he smiled at the end of the game :) I put Quistis because there are 2 questions that I actually have 2 answers. So there are 4 permutations... and out of the 4, 2 gave me Squall and 2 gave me Quistis. Haha.. Quistis is quite accurate for me.. So I guess combine both and tada... that's the real me.
Haha.. Please don't think that I am happy because my entry seems to be in a light mood. In the real life, I am feeling very down. Well, slightly up from yesterday because subsequent Anatomy chapters are more managable. I start to see some hopes of finishing mugging everything.
This is the only time Squall is smiling for the whole game. Haha...
Mommy.... help me!!!! Hiks hiks... I am really helpless and hopeless for my preparation for CA. Phooooi... how should I describe it.. In JC, I was sick of loading shit into a pale and making sure that none of it spilled out... But now I am really sick and tired because I cannot even load the shit into the pale. I think I have to revoke my plan of having fun on Wednesday because I will not be able to finish anatomy in time according to my schedule. Aiyah. I am as good as dead already.
Too lighten up the mood, I shall be happy about the free dinner I had today. Erm... the spaghetti I had at Ikea was not very nice actually. I still regretted that I did not pick the salad. Hmm... yummy yummy salmon (rich in omega 3 oil) with a lot of vegetables (do not make me fat). Aiyah... anyway it was free so my feeling of sadness is not so bad now. Oh ya, the ice cream was also misleadingly nice. I was tempted because I saw some people were eating that. It turned out to be not very nice after all. Walls ice creams are nicer.
Upon coming back to hostel, I heard a neighbour is playing harmonica. The song was sol mi mi fa re re do re mi fa sol sol sol. Hahaha... I wanted to laugh! So easy and yet he could not get pure notes. He must be a beginner. I hope the next time I blow harmoc, I still can remember the positions of the holes and I don't embarrass myself by not being able to produce pure notes.
Some more good things. My friendster who's viewed me list already hit 121 views. Hahaha... I know some people may have more but to me this is the very time I got more than 100. Okay la, I think the previously most number of hit was about 4o only. So this one is like tripled and it is in 3 weeks time. I bet it must be because of my display photo. Coincidentally, everytime I put that shameless photo, my who's viewed me always increases exponentially. Not to forget the increase of testimonials saying 'you are shameless' and 'you are so vain'. But it's okay. Haha...
I just went to research deeper into the system of this blog and I guess I shall add some more crap about myself here. And I will look for better black roses picture. Hehe... For tribute to Final Fantasy 8 as my most favourite game, I shall post this photo below. The coolest FF guy and the most exotic FF girl (although I still prefer Quistis to Rinoa). Oh ya, and this reminds me about my entry which is full of FF pictures (refer to Final Fantasy!!! 19 February 2007). I had to be very free and had nothing better to do on that day.
I am currently very into Hail Holy Queen and I Will Follow Him songs from Sister Act. Listening is nice but nothing beats watching the movie. As I don't have the movie, youtube is where I can watch the clip for those songs. Haha.. Other than these 2 songs, I am also watching Steps' video clips. Haiz... It is a waste that it disbanded. Their proportion of hit songs that I love is even higher than Spice Girls'. But anyway, Spice Girls will be my most favourite pop group ever. Hoho... It is the time to go search youtube again for Spice Girls video clip.
God is so nice to me and I hope that I can soon get out of my depression. Today's reading and reflection are very relevant to me. The important quote is THOSE THAT SOW IN TEARS SHALL REAP REJOICING (Psalm 126:5). The parts of the reflection that I love (and obviously I have modified it to suit my feelings right now are: the same is true for each of us and our journeys from sorrow to joy; we cannot force or hurry the memorising capacity of our brain, even though we want to leave that stack of notes as quickly as possible; we are apt to forget this when we are facing time constraint to mug for exams. Lol. The prayer of the day is: God of sowing and reaping, grant that those moving from tears to joy the patience and perseverence to mug and the confidence to believe that A's will return.
The effects of 9 months of brain inactivity are very disastrous right now. Only few days I did not blog and I cannot recall what my latest entry was. Ok, blogging is not important (cannot remember still can see) but I desperately need my brain's ability back to JC level. I already lose my will to mug because all the things I mugged did not stuck on to my brain. I just cannot believe that I could squeeze in thousands of pages of notes in JC but now I cannot even remember 1 page for 10 minutes. Haiz... After I went into epithelial tissue, I forgot about cells. I finished connective tissues, I forgot BOTH epithelial tissue and cells. After I sleep tonight, I think I don't even remember what I studied this afternoon. I just cannot imagine how I can manage my time for skin, heart, lungs, and digestive system. I took 3 days to finish cells and tissues. I have not touched Physio yet. And I hope I can still remember imidazole, pyrole, piperidine, napthalene, etc.
Yup, semester break is here but as expected, I will just spend my time to mug mug mug and mug non-stoply. No matter what, I am planning to enjoy my Wednesday at Orchard Road. I will go eat whatever I want no matter how fattening or how expensive the food that catches my appetite. And I will go read some mangas in the library and borrow some Baby Blues books! Yes! Yes! Yes! Ah ya.. I must also remember to look for Sister Act movie at HMV. Yay yay yay!
Hmm.. I should cut down my time online. Yes... I think it really took much of my time and destroyed my mugging mood. Haiz... Very bad of me. I already expected that this would be a disastrous effect of owning a laptop. But still... I cannot help myself. Stupid me! I must start changing back to my times of being a good student.
Not only I am wasting my time online, I think the biggest waste of time is my laundry business. Alamak... On tuesday I already washed and today I washed again. Washing is not bad because I can just leave it and do something else. The problem is IRONING! Arrgh! I hate ironing. It takes so much time (and today I accidentally touched the heating element). I started ironing at about 3 hours ago and up to know there is still a jeans left. I guess I will sleep at 2 again today (4 on Thursday, 3 on Friday, 3 on Saturday, so 2 for today is an improvement). And yesterday I slept late because I was playing Prince of Tennis: Stylish Silver. Haha.. I managed to unlock 4 players and 2 were from completing doubles games. No wonder it took me up to 4 am. I enjoy playing doubles more because it is more challenging. Too bad it is very time consuming (because it is impossible to win 6-0) and sometimes the partner is too dumb!
Yah... I guess this all for today. Hihihi... I saw my friends' blog and I think I suck in blogging. Well I don't expect people to read mine. One thing for sure: dark background is nicer! Haha... But I won't change mine because my theme is darkrose mah. If my background is dark, then my rose is not visible. Lol. Anyway beach and lighthouse are quite nice also. I need relaxing things to see in times of great tribulations. Haha... I am talking as if tomorrow the world is coming to an end.
Oh my God... This week has been pretty disastrous for me. I am having pimples breakout (even my nightly beauty product does not work) and so many bad things are happening to me (okay... I should say happenNED to me.. I hope no more bad things this week and in the future). On Monday I did not know why but I was saboed to answer question during lecture. Thankfully I knew how to answer correctly but I was still embarrassed. Hopefully not many people know my face now as I always want to keep a low profile.
Yesterday was even worse. I was not at school for some gossip session (I was only at school for doing practical) but there was a very gross gossip about me. Darn... I shall not say more about this. It is not my first time to get this kind of nonsense so I think I can get over this (like how I managed to get over the previous ones). But I am really worried that my reputation (as if I have any) is destroyed. But still I don't want people to notice me. Because I am a very shy person :)
Gossip aside... School is getting more terrible. Today's practical was the worst I ever did. 41 tests in total to be carried out. I did not count how many that I exactly did (though I remember that I did none of the solubility tests because anyway I cannot really distinguish soluble or insoluble) but there was so much copying. I did not think about the conclusion at all. And I think my olfactory sense has been damaged by so many weird pungent smells. I am seriously worried about the coming practical test. Worse, I don't even know when the test will be held. Ew ew ew...
The lesson itself is getting worse. I cannot understand or remember the notes.... And I have to admit that I have been very lazy. So far my revision is only the first HALF chapter of anatomy which is about the cell, which is like only repetition of JC stuff. I was too tired to study tissues. I'm doomed already. I hope during the one week break, I will be able to seriously focus and mug the whole notes... remember everything word per word.
In the current bazaar at Science Foyer, I think there is the stall at which I bought the prince of tennis J-minis last time. Dammit... I am tempted to check out whether it should be 8 pieces/set. I think I shall not check it out lah... Otherwise I will feel very sad and cheated that I was only given 7 last time. DON'T CHECK DON'T CHECK. Haha...
Yup... that's all. I need to attend a talk already. God? Yes! Church? No! I think it is quite interesting to know why there is a need to attend the church. Oh yeah... I am sure I will learn things from the talk and I hope I can forget the bad things that happened to me. And I hope the stupid internet connection which is already paid so much will be getting better soon. Haiz... My IE is still having problem also... I am so problematic...
The weather is very good today. It was raining from last night and I could have a very good night sleep up to 9am today. It was cloudy and breezy for the whole day. Yupz...in short, it is a good day to sleep and laze around. Haha.. I wish everyday is like this. But minus the rain.
Mid semester exam is coming and my preparation has been very lacking. I am just starting to mug. Honestly, I am very pessimistic because there are so many things I am unsure and unclear of. I tried to look for the answer from the net but it has been useless. I don't know whether I will go to the library to borrow the text book. THIS IS VERY VERY VERY BAD! I cannot do the tutorial and I wanted to cry when trying to complete and to do the preparation for the practicals. Maybe I am not suited to go university after all. Sigh....
Wow.... Amazing indeed. I never expect that I have reached more than 100 posts. And the 100th post was exactly written on the 9th day of the 9th month. Cool eh? Too bad that I did not realise that it was the 100th post. Otherwise I won't put subway as the title. And the content won't be that short either. Haha... Because I could not really make the 100th as a landmark, then let me make the 101th as the landmark.
While I was excited upon realisation that I had written 100 passages full of nonsense, I could not access the 'new post' page to write the 101th one. I really do not understand why. My internet explorer would just go error and restart. I was even thinking of closing the blog because I am very lazy if I were to type at school library. It is very weird that Mozilla Firefox can access it (I am using Mozilla for the first time now) but IE goes error. And usually I have been using IE. Sigh.. Well, I just hope it won't go error in Mozilla and I can keep writing.
I am getting addicted to go to church. Haha... Even though for the past 2 weeks, I had been very lazy to drag myself out of bed to go to church, I felt very renewed after the service ended. Isn't it ironic? Amazingly, the readings for the past two weeks were always what I needed to hear (to lift me up from my down mood). Coincidentally, one of the songs this week was Amazing Grace. And I was so into the song because I just got the Amazing Grace sung by Yuki Kaidah (Fuji Syusuke) this week. Haha... Miracles...
As usual, my new friends in uni think that I look younger than my age. Haha... Well, it is a good thing because actually there has not been anyone who ever says that I look older than my age. Hmm... I guess it is something that I can be proud of now (but I don't know whether people want to hire me in the future). I should ask them what features of me that make me look young and I shall accentuate those features. Hohoho... Ironically, when I showed them the photos when I was younger, they did not believe that it was me. They thought it was my dad or my older brother (unfortunately I don't have any brother).
I also do not know how to carry on with my life at school. When I am very quiet and do not make friends, people will say I am anti-social. When I am being gregarious, people start to gossip about me being with this guy or this girl (well, at least I am still attractive to both sexes.. haha). Well, I don't mind if I become the object of gossip (too often and too experienced in it already) but I hate it if someone else is gossiped because of me.
I studied hard for physio mcq tests but I did suckily (is there such a word?) for both of the tests. Now I am really losing self-confidence. It is very dangerous because CA is coming in 2 weeks time. Die die die....
To end up this post with a happier note: from now on, I won't order banana juice anymore. Because a glass of it costs $1.20 while one banana costs $0.30 only. I will buy mango juice because a SLICE of the fruit already costs $0.80. Haha...
Hohoho.... So yes... This is the PoT cap that I bought on Friday. It looks very nice in the picture ne? But the actual one does not look very nice. It looks very white though. But I only bought it for a souvenir. I don't think I will wear it. Firstly is because I look ugly wearing a cap. Secondly is because it is very white in colour. I don't want to dirty it. Hohoho....
I think I have eaten subway too much until even in my sleep I was dreaming about eating subway. Hahaha... Maybe it was because I was too tired after attending a quite useless meeting (I shall not say what when where with who but it lasted for 5 hours). And my work is piling up. The rate I am clearing it is like 1/10 of the rate the new pile is coming. Sigh... And this friday there will be some physio test. That means must mug for it. And I have not even continued my last week lab work. Doom is impending.
Well....on the last day of the anime bazaar in my school yesterday, I managed to snatch something (well, some things to be exact). Hohoho... I bought J-minis Prince of Tennis. Although it should be 8 figurines per set, I only got 7. The price was $20. That means each is about $3. I think it is cheaper than buying one by one. Well, although I am a bit complaining because it is not the complete set, it is okay because the missing one is the 'devil' Akaya. The difference with the normal Akaya is only the colour of the eyes. So it's okay lah. The second thing which I bought was Ryoma's cap. I had been eye-ing for it since Wednesday and the first time I saw it yesterday, I thought the price was $42. I was so shocked. How can a bloody cap only cost that much.... Then I asked the person to make sure and actually 42 is the code of the good for the shopkeeper to check the price. Fiuh... It only cost $9 so obviously I bought it. Hehehe.. I am a bit happy for that. Lol.
I was a bit late for mass today. Haiz... Actually the service started at 6 but I arrived at 555. And there was no more Catholic News to collect. Sad sad sad... I missed a reading material. Lol... But it is okay... I just checked my workload and gross gross gross... It is just so much! I should stop wasting my time online and start doing proper study. Exam is in 2 weeks time. Sucks.... Anyway I had a great time during the mass. The priest is very entertaining and he's a very good speaker. Too bad that he comes only once every 2 months. I guess all the guest priests are always more exciting. Haha...
Yupz... I am feeling better today (although that does not mean I am completely out of my depression yet) so I shall write about few good things that happened to me. But before that, let me complain again one more time. This time is about food. Whew... for the past week I have been trying to get rid of my stress by snack-ing. However, all the snacks I bought turned out to be gross. What a waste of money and they ended up in the rubbish bin (and made me feeling worse). Hmm... I could still recall the tasteless packets of tapioca sticks and tapioca crackers. But the worst among all was a packet of Gold Rush which cost me $4. I expected that the taste and the satisfaction would be proportional to its price. Unfortunately, it was a NO NO NO! Darn...
Another miracle happened to me yesterday. I was invited to join ICy (as usual I shall not say anymore about it so as not to offend anybody) but I was reluctant initially because I did not know anyone (hm...the person who invited me could not make it also). But after my prac was over, a friend of mine asked me to join. I said no because I would feel very paiseh as I knew no-one. Then just 15 minutes before the meeting started and while I was happily slacking around, my handphone rang. Wow... the person who asked me initially gave my number to her friend (I never expected that she would be so enthu and immediately gave my number to her friend). So no more running away lor. I went and I had to say it was pretty good (and the topic was quite suitable to what I am feeling right now). On top of that, it helped me to escape the fire drill. Haha... But getting new friends is never a bad thing.
There is something funny about my e-mail address. I thought it was only happening to one of my cousins. That time she was asking my e-mail and she was like looking for pen and pencil to jot it down. After I said it (of course I won't say it here), she just laughed and said "Aiyo... This one no need to jot down also can remember". Haha... Yesterday the same thing happened to several people. Lol... I never thought that my e-mail (which I think is a bit lame) is that easy to remember and funny.
Okay... I guess that's all. I need to prepare (do some reading) for Living with Chem test tomorrow. I am doing my research about the formation of earth and I learnt something new about Lagrange points. I thought it was only a term invented by Gundam Anime Series. Actually it is a real scientific term to describe the points between 2 huge masses (eg earth and moon) where a small mass (eg satellite) can remain stationary. Wow....it's cool to find out that an imagination world has relation with the real world. Anyway, I hope everything will go well tomorrow.
I just read the list of award that I can win by the time I graduate from my faculty and I could feel how my blood boiled with the thought of being kiasu!!! Argh.... must try to forget this... Otherwise I will feel worse as I know that I am not capable to grab the award. But I have to admit that at least it infused me with an extra boost of 'lust' to mug mug mug and keep mugging!
Ah... my condition is just spiralling downwards. I can't believe that this is my third time feeling very depressed in the time frame of 1 month. On top of the fact that I cannot follow the lessons at school, I'm also feeling that my spiritual life is dead. I cannot feel God's presence though I know that He is always there for me (otherwise it would not be a coincidence that last Sunday reading was about 'pride and false humility' or today's cell group meeting was about 'prayer'). I start to reset all my prayer habits to the beginning again and so far I have not felt any improvement....
Dammit dammit dammit.. Not only that I cannot follow the previous lessons but the fact that it was so easy to forget all the things I tried so hard to memorise was just too mind-blowing and too depressing for me! I saw the subsequent topics and they are just becoming more ridiculously difficult... I have really reached my breaking point... I am helpless... and hopeless... I think I need a counseling!
Life just sucks!!!!!!!!! There are some other (better) things I would like to write I am really not in the mood to do so.