Squandered my chance

I had my second interview on Tuesday and if the decision to hire has been made, I don't think I will secure a good pay offer or if the decision to hire has yet to made, I may have missed my chance to get an offer. I usually trust my gut feel and this time my gut feel after the interview was not positive :( Sigh.. 

I think honesty is a virtue not appreciated in real word. Honestly, I don't even prepare for the second interview. Generic questions such as "What is your aspiration?", "What makes you think you are suitable to be a teacher?" etc are expected. Since I did not make any preparation, I had no model answer and I just answered honestly and be myself. People will think I am dumb to say "I like teaching but I have no teaching experience so I really have no idea if I will make a good teacher.". At the end of the day, I can lie to others but I can never lie to myself. I have to admit that I feel emo (and that's why I can only blog about this now 2 days later) but I am pretty happy and relieved that I am being truthful about myself. Whatever the outcome is, it is just a reflection of myself. If I get offered, it means that others also feel that I have the potential. If I don't get, it means that I really don't have what it takes to be a teacher.

Results will be out in a week and I don't know how I am feeling towards it. I am not really bothered about it since it is not a matter of life or death. Lol. At this point of time, I am honestly more scared to get out of my comfort zone and I rely on God to tell me and guide me to my future. If I don't get the offer or I am offered with a lower pay, it is a sign for me to stay where I am. If I am offered with a pay increase, it is a sign for me to move over. I am more concerned if I get offered with matched pay :( because it means I really have to think and weigh the pros and cons.

It is going to be a loooong 1 week wait