Aging..

When I was still a kid, I remember that I used to joke about my parents with my sisters. One of the jokes is that we can always tell whenever my mum is climbing the stairs. So when we are in the middle of doing something which we should not do, the sound serves as a warning for us to quickly wrap up what we are doing and pretend that we are being good children. It was a good fun back then. But now it becomes a sort of painful reminder about how old my mum is. I start to make similar sound when I climb the stairs to my room. Perhaps it is because my bones are denser and heavier now that it causes the *thumping* sound.. Perhaps it is because of work that I run out of energy even to put down my feet lightly. Kinda sad to know that I am starting to age too even without knowing whether I can do anything to repay my parents.

I learn to appreciate my parents more as I am living with a family here and as I am watching how my boss is conceiving. Lets start about conceiving first. It is my boss' second child and her wish to have baby boy will come true. Everyone realises that she sounds more tired than her first pregnancy. Perhaps having a baby boy is always more difficult than a baby girl. Or perhaps a SON is always giving a bigger headache for parents than a DAUGHTER. Lol.. There was one point of time that she was worried that she had gestational diabetes as sugar was found in the urine. Thank God everything normalised in the following urine test. Women who develop gestational diabetes has higher likelihood to develop diabetes later in life. For the more unlucky, the gestational diabetes may even continue after pregnancy. It is really not easy to become mothers. So much suffering for the 9 months.

Even after the baby is born, the joy is somehow short-lived. The baby constantly cries for attention and love etc. My house owners' daughter often leaves her son under the care of the grandparents i.e my house owners. I feel very irritated with this baby you know. Cry cry cry over every single thing zz.. To be frank I often harbour morbid thoughts about how I want to silence this brat.. Zz.. I shall not go into my wild imagination. One thing that strikes me is HOW THE HECK MY PARENTS CAN TAHAN ME WHEN I WAS A BABY! Sleepless nights having to tahan with all my cries and my screaming etc.. Perhaps I was a worse baby than this baby. In fact up to now, perhaps there are times when my parents have sleepless nights thinking about how their bratty son doing overseas.

As much as I dislike this baby, I dislike the parents more. Seriously, I cannot imagine what kind of parents will leave their children under the care of grandparents for most time. Seeing how often this baby is left with the grandparents, I wonder whose child he is. You know.. I understand if you cannot take care of your baby when you are working.. Leaving him/her with grandparents is okay. My parents also left me with maid (ok that sounds worse than leaving a child with grandparents). But at least after you end work, pick up your child lar!! Even on weekend, please spend time with your child!! With that I am grateful with my parents.. No matter how busy they are with their work, having to juggle family life and work life, at least they still spend time with me and my sisters for dinner onwards.

T_T Sob.. I miss my parents.. One of the thing which I hate most with living overseas alone is that I miss all the precious times to spend with my parents. I remember that my godma was telling me when she consoled my aunt after my grandpa passed away. My godma lost his dad when she was very young. So she told my aunt "Don't blame yourself saying you did not do enough for you father. Be glad that at least you can have your father even when you are 50-60 years old already. I already lost mine even before I turned 12". Yup I am thankful that I still have my parents now.. I hope I still have them for as long as possible. But thinking that I actually spend time with them for 15 out 25 years of my life just make me sad. Of course one day children will have to live apart from their parents: either because of marriage or because of death. Still, "leaving" them at 15 years old is just ... sad.. I still don't know what is in store for me..I wonder will there any good thing coming up by me coming here.. I don't know God's plan for me.. For now, I can only pray that God will take care of my parents well. I am sure He is a better "replacement" for me for the times when I cannot be with my parents.