Grr I am emo again. I am just back from Coffee Beans. I am too distracted to my own room that I have to go out if I wanna concentrate to study (or in this case is to prepare for my experiments). It is so ironice. The last time I went there was when I read my FYP articles for the first time. And today I was back there for my FYP again.. Before I emo, I will write about the Holiday Special drink that I bought today. Haha.. It was called Dark Chocolate Orange Ice Blended. The citrus flavour was nice (not too overpowering) but the chocolate was too sweet for me.. I am not a fan.. It tasted more like a melted orange-flavoured chocolate bar than a drink. Haha.. Ok, now comes the emo part.

I am emo because my project seems to be hopeless.. I am in big dilemma. I have planned everything to best that I can do, up to the amount of ingredients. Then I started to get emo as I was contemplating about the amount. If I use too little (to save), I am worried that for subsequent steps, the things would be too little to even be detected or measured. Worse, when I need to repeat the step, or re-do the step with few modifications, I need to waste at least 48hours to re-synthesise the whole stuff. However if I use too much, my materials will not last long. And what if I fail?

It sucks!! I feel very sucky :( Seriously the main thing which inhibit my progress is my limited materials :'( Well time is also limited but that one is less crucial. How am I supposed to work with amount like 0.1 or 0.2 mg?? Even the weighing machine is not up to that level of precision.. At zero-point-something decimal point, the number keeps flickering so there is no way I know the number is due to fluctuation or what..

Oh God.. I can't do it alone.. I need You!! :( But I know You won't help me.. Just like how You did not help me for my exams.. Damn :'( Call it blasphemy or whatever but currently this is what I feel towards Him..

At least I gotta thank Him for the 'enthuasiasm' to plan my experiments (it happened!) and to go early tomorrow (I hope it's gonna happen! Not only for tomorrow but throughout the whole month).