I almost skipped today's CG as I was lazy to leave my nap. Hoho.. Lucky I did not do that. I enjoyed the sharing about the Saints and the topic today really made me reflect on my life. I realised I have been becoming a worse person. I always think that I was very evil by the time I finished my JC but now... well while from outside definitely I am nicer and less 'brutal', in the inside I am much filthier.
Service leadership is a concept I learnt from secondary school. Haha.. My secondary school rocks! It is true nonetheless. From my experiences, as a leader, you are actually a servant for the rest. You need to come earlier and leave later and you must do things for others. Yeah :) Nowadays, I am getting lazy to take up leadership position simply because I do not want to hold responsibility to be there all the time. I am lazy and busy... I have no time to commit myself for things outside studying (actually I am not even committed to my mugging). The worse thing is that sometimes I expect leaders to do stuff and not dumping shit to the members, even though I know that leaders already do most amount of work. Haiz... I guess all the studies etc make me a dull and evil person.
Heh.. Peer is a factor in my reluctance to lead anything nowadays. After all who wants to serve people they dislike. Lol. And I am losing purpose in my life. Last time in JCs, I wanted to have fun (no cca points at that time) and that's why I did whatever I could to have fun. But now... It all boils down to stupid cca points. Activities become chores and burdens, not interest.
The very touching part is the question about whether I ever felt honoured and humbled at the same time. Well, it actually kind of happen all the time when I see my results (grades). I am honoured that most of the times, I am doing very well. Yet I am humbled that what I achieved is not purely my achievement. I believe that my prayers are being heard. I know how hopeless I am most of the times after exams and I know it is all not because of my power alone. I am humbled as I know many people are studying harder than me and yet I am still blessed with good grades. Unfortunately, there is no way that I can 'pay it forward'... There is simply not enough opportunity this time around to pass forward the blessings that I have received.
I guess it is time to analyse and reflect on my life so far.. to find what is wrong and how things can improve... I seem to be happier right now but deep inside, I am feeling empty, unhappy, and I know something is wrong. But I don't know why..
Service leadership is a concept I learnt from secondary school. Haha.. My secondary school rocks! It is true nonetheless. From my experiences, as a leader, you are actually a servant for the rest. You need to come earlier and leave later and you must do things for others. Yeah :) Nowadays, I am getting lazy to take up leadership position simply because I do not want to hold responsibility to be there all the time. I am lazy and busy... I have no time to commit myself for things outside studying (actually I am not even committed to my mugging). The worse thing is that sometimes I expect leaders to do stuff and not dumping shit to the members, even though I know that leaders already do most amount of work. Haiz... I guess all the studies etc make me a dull and evil person.
Heh.. Peer is a factor in my reluctance to lead anything nowadays. After all who wants to serve people they dislike. Lol. And I am losing purpose in my life. Last time in JCs, I wanted to have fun (no cca points at that time) and that's why I did whatever I could to have fun. But now... It all boils down to stupid cca points. Activities become chores and burdens, not interest.
The very touching part is the question about whether I ever felt honoured and humbled at the same time. Well, it actually kind of happen all the time when I see my results (grades). I am honoured that most of the times, I am doing very well. Yet I am humbled that what I achieved is not purely my achievement. I believe that my prayers are being heard. I know how hopeless I am most of the times after exams and I know it is all not because of my power alone. I am humbled as I know many people are studying harder than me and yet I am still blessed with good grades. Unfortunately, there is no way that I can 'pay it forward'... There is simply not enough opportunity this time around to pass forward the blessings that I have received.
I guess it is time to analyse and reflect on my life so far.. to find what is wrong and how things can improve... I seem to be happier right now but deep inside, I am feeling empty, unhappy, and I know something is wrong. But I don't know why..
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