No idea for title...

Wew... I did not what to say... I was so angry and cursing for few days. Until Friday came and I decided to attend evening mass (had RCIY after that anyway). The host really got rid of all the stones that burdened my heart. I don't know I guess it was a miracle. I was really furious before. So furious until even though I kept telling myself: "Just let it be! It's over! Cannot do anything! Still can do a lot and a lot of ccas to earn points" but my heart still ached. Praying was also futile, until that communion... I don't know.. I really cannot accept this. I did not deserve those f***ing ugly grades! That's why I was so disappointed... Well, it's all over now.. I hope those ugly feelings don't come back to me anymore..

I feel that my holiday here sucks than at home. There is nothing much to do here. But amazingly, out of that nothingness, I can write more stories here. Maybe it's because I REALLY have nothing to do that I can write a lot..

Hmm... I am done with Saint Seiya OVA Hades Chapter Inferno. I still have the Poseidon arc (watch it next time) and I shall wait until all the Hades Chapter Elysion to fully end in August/September before watching it. Hmm :) :) :) Love it... Then I am starting Spiral now. Only the first 2 episodes. I did not expect it to be a detective story.. Maybe it's to early to figure out the story line from the first 2 episodes. One yucky thing: the main guy character's ear is pierced. What the heck..

The site where I was getting FFVIII suddenly broke down.. What the hell... I only managed to obtain the first 2 discs... What happened? Sob sob...

I finally bought the manga of Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. Until now did not have time to read. I am playing computer too much :'( I was so paiseh when I bought it. All who were crowding at the comics section were KIDS!!! I was thinking oh no... in Singapore manga/anime is really targetted to children.. But the scene totally different at the Toys and Comics Fair at Suntec Hall 603 which I attended yesterday. Mostly there were otakus... And yeah, they are teenagers... There were very few kids. I was expecting to spend there. That was not the case unfortunately. Bandai did not really sell a lot of things. But they had awesome display. I love those Saint Seiya figures!!! Gosh... I wish I am rich. I own a house and a cupboard and money to get the whole set!!! There was Chuang Yi stall with 10% off. But there was no Kingdom Hearts 2 mangas -_-... They sold old products.. I did not buy that because only the first 2 volumes are out... I will wait until the final volume is out then buy altogether. I hate waiting!

That brings me to tomorrow... I HATE WAITING!! I will wait and rot like crazy tomorrow during FOC. Just wait and wait and wait at my station. Oh well... All because of CCA points.. Haiz... Nonetheless, I am just a lazy bum! I am lazy to wake up in the morning, I am lazy to travel, I am lazy to pack things up, I DON'T want to stay over. Haha... Although staying over saves money and energy, I don't gave enough guts (read: I am not that thick-skinned) to do so. Haha... Not too close with the people. It will just be weird... Well never mind... Good luck to them and have fun :) I know they will. But I won't be... I am too concerned about not getting wet or dirty.. That's why I won't have fun :( I want... But I am too lazy to bring towel etc to shower. And I hate to do dirty laundry. Ew ew ew yucks...

For the closing, I shall share my highlight of the day: McDonalds' ONION RINGS!!! Try it!! It's nice.. It's $2.50. I only wish the portion is bigger though... I want more of nice stuff mah... Lol...
Spicy Chicken Nuggets is on my next waiting list... Lol

It was foolish to hope...
It was stupid to be ignorant before I hope...
It is already too late...
The list is out...
8 pts are gone...
Disappointment... Anger... Emptiness... Hopelessness...
That's all I am left with...
Regret?
No regrets...
There is nothing to regret...
I did no wrong...
I would know if I did...

Work harder...
Try harder...
Pray harder...
Don't quit...
Don't give up...
Don't think these all matter to me know...
I am just too tired...
To try...
To fail...
And to be disappointed...

Where is luck?
Where is God?

Busy busy busy...

Wuih.. I had been very busy for the past few days.. And I will still be busy in the incoming few days. Busy in the sense that I have to do some things outdoor. Not busy slacking as what I do usually.

On Friday, it was RCIY again. It was a talk combined with the whole youth groups in the church. So I did not really get to know the new people. Anyway I was to shy to introduce myself and ask the names of the 2 people who came early. Haha... After the session, we went to have ice cream at Udders. Wew... I was planning to cut down my food expenses, in the end I spend $5 for ice cream. Yahz, it was my dinner (as I had a free dinner at the church). I ordered double scoop of Mao Shan Wang (a type of durian which is even better than D24) and Cempedak flavours. COOL!!!! They ROCKed!!! The flavours are really authentic! Worth the money. Played taboo while eating and lucky that I saw my watch when it was 2330. I was almost late for the last bus. Whew... Was scared that PGP back gate was already closed but lucky that was not the case :)

I dreaded going to the Pre-WYD event yesterday. I knew nobody. Thank God that I came (though I had to drag my butt) as it was the first time I got to know my group mates. Not a terrible group I suppose. I am sincerely hoping it will be a good and enjoyable trip there. Went back late again. I was thinking that I would sleep early and attend the 830 mass today. But it failed. Lol... Woke up at 10 in the end. I was busy getting Saint Seiya Poseidon and Hades chapters that I do not have at home. I was also getting the cool song which becomes my blog's OST now. Haha... Nice song :) It's the opening of Saint Seiya Hades ~ Inferno and Elysium.

I went to donate blood at HSA for the first time today. It was good! Funny seat.. So high and I did not know how to get on it.. Later I found out that the hand rest can be moved... 0_0 The refreshing was great! That is for sure. Better than at school. Haha..

So what am I busy right now? I am reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Yeah! Only until chapter 17 now. I have to rest well tonite. Tomorrow it will be another long day.. and a tiring one for sure. Haha..

End of Holidays

I am back in Singapore since yesterday. Although school has not started yet, I don't feel that it is still holiday season. I am not at home and I don't feel at home, that's why. 1 month out of 3 at home is way too short. Well, I cannot help it. I need to hunt for points and prepare to go to Sydney.

It was very tiring yesterday. I cleaned up my whole room. I think the management office did not attend to my request. What was shocking was my room is dirtier than my friend's room. My friend did not go home so his room is full of stuff and he has been away for 3 weeks. The cleaner did not clean his room. So how the hell that my room which is supposed to be cleaned after I left can be dirtier. Haiz.. Well, I hate packing and unpacking so I will surely complain.

I injured my right biceps. I think It was too tiring to carry a big box (it was light leh!) from one end to the other end of PGP. Haiz... Felt like trash yesterday but after I had a good 10hours of sleep, it feels better now, though it still hurts.

Holiday at home was not very fruitful. I only managed to complete the sanctuary chapter of Saint Seiya. Gaming wise, I could not even complete the stats for Vanguard Bandits. Haiiz... Well, better try next time. Hahaha...

After coming back here, I played a bit of online games yesterday. Now I find that 9Dragons is more fun than Cabal. I think because there is more variety in the quests (instead of killing how many of different enemies), nicer character clothes, and less crowded. Hahaha... But still, both do not up to the standard of an RPG game with a storyline. Lol.

I want to get ISO but I forgot where I got it last time. That's the bad side of keeping the history short in my computer. Haiz.. But I guess that can wait because I have not played Suikoden II and Tales of Destiny (in the ISO form). I have not even continued my Persona.

Ok it's shopping time now. I need to get memory card for my HP. I need to look for new anime goods. And hopefully the book I am aiming for is available in Kinokuniya. Hopefully the last Harry Potter book has become less than $10.

So short...

Uaah... This holiday is so short... I only have about 1 week plus here at home. And there are still so many things that I want to do :'(

Some of my achievements during this holiday are sulking and despairing over the big big exam failure, finishing White Snake Legend (whooping 50 episodes although the last half I watched with x4 speed... boring..), and getting some personal photos :) Those are all! Chinese books are just sitting at the corner. I have absolutely no mood to read them after the ghastly Chinese I grade. Haiz... My plan of refreshing driving will likely be a failure. I just have no mood. I am just worried about my shopping plan for clothings and trying to recover from my sadness.. And I am looking forward to my photos this incoming weekend. Yeah... It's been more than 5 years since I had one. Hahaha... And I shall see how much of Saint Seiya I can watch. I am still at episode 10 now.

Ah ya, finally Barack Obama won the presidential nomination of the Democratic Party. I am still hoping for Hillary Clinton. Hopefully she can be the Vice President :)

Anguish

I opened my old anime magazines to find out an anime book I want to buy. It is unfortunate that I only realised it now, 9 years after the book was published. How could I not remember about it when the first time I went to Singapore? By that time, I am sure that the book would still be available. I tried to check on Kinokuniya web book search. The book is still in the catalogue but when I asked, the shop had no stock. The supplier also had no stock. That means I have no way to get it at all. Except by searching it in Japan perhaps.

Exam results were out and I am deeply shocked, saddened, and disappointed. Even up to know T_T... I have nothing to blame because I don't think I had a lousy preparation... It was due to factors due to the exams. :( I guess that's the punishment for being over-confident, proud, arrogant, and over-expecting in the hope of repeating what I did 6 months ago. I will go next time with a new mindset that I am indeed dumb and I shall not put up so high expectation.

It's a terrible experience. I never feel this low. My faith is also taking a huge stepback... How can I go to Sydney with this kind of faith?