Cursed

I saw the new place yesterday. I know that it is not going to be as good as my current room/house but it is not as bad as my expectation. The flat is pretty huge although unfortunately most of the space is for living room, dining room, and the kitchen. My room is not as small as I imagine but it is not up to my liking. The wall is lined with embedded cupboards. The sad thing is that these cupboards are for clothes! I don't have that many clothes in the first place. Sigh.. Inside the cupboards, there are only metal railing for the hangers and nothing else: no drawers, no racks, not partitions. Above the bed, there is a bit of cupboard too. I don't think I will utilize it and honestly I hate to have something above my head when I am sleeping :( There is a large study desk attached to the wall too. The stupid desk, however, has no lockable drawers. Jeez.. 

The part that I hate most is the lack of privacy. The master room is actually dissected to a room where my landlord will be staying and then my "makeshift" room. Although the divider is opaque, I still don't feel comfortable as light still can go through. In addition, the top part of the the sliding door to "enter" my room is not sealed to the ceiling. The ceiling is much lower than my current room and it makes the whole atmosphere rather cramped. I don't know how things will be when my plastic containers are in. I am crossing my fingers that my plastic containers can fit to the cupboard so that I can have more empty space. But I honestly doubt it :(

No point crying or getting emo over things which are beyond me control. But I can't help but feeling angry.. cheated.. cursed.. and whatever negative adjective I can think off. I really cannot remember how many times I have packed my things to move around for the past 10 years. My dad often says everyone is born with a set of both good and bad "coupons". It will be good to "spend" the bad ones first while I am young and then enjoy the good ones later. Looks like my set is all filled with that bad ones. I don't know how many more times I must keep moving house. Seriously.. Fuck me and my life!