Identity crisis

6 months have passed and I could not be bothered about my PR application anymore. So when the letter finally came, I thought it would a rejection. I was wrong. The immigration authority wants a proof that my race is Chinese. Initially, I found that quite shocking. I have heard that they want to maintain a Chinese majority here but I think asking people to prove their race is way beyond racist. Although objectively speaking, it is not surprising that they find me ambiguous. I come from a Malay country, I have a surname which sounds Indian, a first name which is English, and middle name which makes people guess whether I am a Japanese or a Thai.

Anyway in Indonesia, race is not documented in any of the official documents so really I have no direct proof. The only proof is perhaps my parents' birth certificates, when Chinese names were still allowed, and the name change certificates when Chinese names were banned in the 1960s. What shock and sadden me is actually my dad's certificate of citizenship conversion from a PRC! Yaiks!! I know that all Chinese have ancestors who come from China but I always thought it was many decades ago. I never expect that my dad, although was born in Indonesia, was born as a PRC citizen.

My apologies if I sound very racist but from my life experiences for the past 10+ years, I just have deep dislike and disgust towards PRCs. I am not going to write why as it will be too long and it will be too racist. Anyway, I am that "close" of being a PRC too.. Sigh.. This realisation makes me feel awful and disgusted with myself. Jeez...

I don't know if these documentations suffice. I am only able to give them a copy of these documents as unfortunately, Jakarta is affected by massive flood since Friday. Looks like it is no longer a big flood every 5 years but it has become Jakarta Annual Big Flood. My parents are unable to get these documents translated and sent to me. I shall see if the immigration authority will give me time extension to follow up with the translated as well as the original copies.

Outside my home yesterday. Not as bad as 2007 flood when the whole rubbish bin was submerged under water.

The dilemma does not stop. On one side, I don't want to lose almost 50% of what I earn now to go towards my pension fund. Who needs money for old age when I want to die young eh? On the other side, I know PR will make it easier for me to change job. And if I want to do part-time study + part-time working, PR is the only way to go.. I don't know.. Haiz..