3 weeks after surgery

I don't know if it is just my feeling or the lump is indeed increasing in size. Sigh.. It is another week to go before another 'judgement' day to find out the identity of the lump and what needs to be done to remove it. Again I am worrying and getting scared although worry and fear do not help with anything.

After Christmas, I try to do daily Rosary prayer. In less than a week, I am already feeling bored. I guess I am beyond hope. I feel so distant from God that I think I am just talking to myself instead of praying. I pray for faith and it is still not given to me. Haiz.. I don't know what's going on with my life.

Christmas runaway

After 6 months away from Church, it is sort of expected that my faith is kinda dead. Add on the health problems and the surgery I recently had, it makes me feel that these are punishment from God for my insolence which obviously does no good to my dying faith. I have no Christmas spirit, I don't even wish people "Merry Christmas", I don't enjoy Christmas songs this time around, and I don't watch Christmas-themed films that I always watch annually to lift up my mood. I try to pick up my bedtime prayer and Rosary back but it is tough when I feel so distant -in fact I feel nothing- from Jesus. Pray for faith-that's all that I am asking for now.

Recently, my dreams often involve running. I am talking about physically running. I don't know if I actually want to run because after the surgery, I tell myself that it is unlikely that I dare to do any sort of vigorous physical activities because I worry that it will cause the mesh to come off. Life is ironic. When my body is still capable of running, I am so lazy to do that. Now that I think I won't be able to do that anymore, suddenly I wish to do that.

In addition to running, my dreams also come together with "superpower" to break things when I get angry and upset. I guess subconsciously, I have underlying angst/anger/frustration that I may not realise or I don't know how to channel and they appear only in dreams. Haiz... Yes I wish I have such power when I am angry in real life.

I guess I need help...

And nope, still no Merry Christmas from me this year.

Seroma

I received a reply from my doctor who suspected that lump that I have is seroma which is a collection of fluid after a surgery. Of course, nothing is certain until the doctor physically assesses it. Seroma is a common post-hernia surgery complication. On one side, I have to be thankful that I only experience this complication as there could be more serious and morbid complications. On the other side, I don't want to think on what needs to be done to settle this. I am still hoping for spontaneous resolution of the seroma as mentioned in some websites.

I received an email to offer me a complementary ticket for Jay Chou concert. Waaa... I am not a fan of him as I don't understand any Chinese word but I would love to attend this concert. I have never attended any concert so I would love to experience one. Not to mention that this is a famous Mandopop singer and the ticket is free!! Unfortunately, I am not in Singapore to be able to utilise this chance. Basket!!! Flying there is not an option. I tried to search for airplane tickets if I should return urgently to settle my seroma and very available dates for this week and the prices are also crazy. Sian.. basically I just missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

There is this song that caught my interest whenever it is being played in shops or shopping malls. I have not been able to find the title until last night. I was quite amused to find that the lyrics actually go: I'm all about that bass, no treble. All this time, I thought the lyrics g: I'm all about the face, no trouble. No wonder I always failed to try to search for the song title or lyrics. I even tried "Buddha face". Gosh...

I guess another thing I learn is that bass is another synonym for ass. Lol..

The Book of Life

Ok let's get this done as it has long been overdue. If it is not because of the the free movie pass that I got from the Maze Runner premiere event, I will definitely not watch this. As much as I enjoy cartoons, graphics is still the most important thing for me and although The Book of Life has a rather unique art style, it is not exactly something I like.

The story takes place using Day of the Dead which is a real-life festivity in Mexico in which the living prays to remember their dead loved ones. La Muerte, ruler of the Land of the Remembered (or call it heaven) and Xibalba, ruler of the Land of the Forgotten (or call it hell) get bored and decide to take a bet on 3 kids at the city of San Angel: Manolo, Joaquin, and Maria. La Muerte bets on Manolo to be the one who eventually will capture Maria's heart while Xibalba picks Joaquin. If La Muerte wins, Xibalba must no longer interfere with the life of the livings. If Xibalba wins, Xibalba will get to rule the Land of Remembered.

The bad guy will obviously cheat. Xibalba gives Joaquin a medal which will protect him from any harm. While this medal does not make Joaquin a bad guy, it allows him to be the hero and defender of the town from outsiders who wish to attack the town. When Manolo wants to propose his love to Maria, Xibalba sends his snake to bite Maria. People think she is dead and this makes Manolo feel very guilty. Xibalba tricked him to die in order to see Maria again.

Manolo goes to the Land of the Remembered, sees his ancestors there, and tries to look for La Muerte to find a way to save Maria because it is Manolo's "fault" to cause her dead. They discover that Xibalba is now the ruler of the Land of the Remembered and his tricks to win his bet. Manolo and his family decides to find La Muerte who is now at the Land of the Forgotten. Although it is usually impossible for souls to travel between the lands, Manolo is able to do as his Book of Life is empty. Basically it means that he is not supposed to die yet and his death is due to Xibalba's interference. La Muerte gets very angry after she realises that Xibalba has cheated and interfered with the lives of the living.

Back in the world of the living, Maria is getting married with Joaquin since Manolo is dead. The city is in danger of attack from a renowned bandit, Chakal who is the previous owner of the medal that Joaquin gets from Xibalba. To clear the mess, La Muerte and Xibalbla allows Manolo to return to live and for his dead ancestors to join his fight to protect the city. At the end, Manolo marries Maria while La Muerte and Xibalba also falls for each other.

On the surface, the story is quite simple but yet it offers a fresh plot. Despite the art style that I am not fond of, I am still impressed with the amount of details they put to make Land of the Remembered very beautiful. Well, it is the heaven in the story after all. I also love the way they use a different art style for the dead vs the living. To be more critical, however, I think the bet between 2 gods here are very petty. I mean it is kinda scary if the gods of this world also behave in this way: to interfere with human's life when they are bored.

I actually love little Manolo, Joaquin, and Maria. Unfortunately, the adult versions develop into cliche personalities. When they are little, it is quite difficult to tell who will end with Maria as both Manolo and Joaquin are nice. When they are adults, it is quite obvious that Manolo will be the one who will get Maria. However, it is really something fresh that Joaquin does not turn out to be the antagonist. That is something that people will expect from a love triangle stories. He may be irritating and obnoxious, but he is not evil or bad.

The message that the movie makers want to bring across to children, which is presumed to be the main target demographic of the movie, is that everyone's Book of Life is still empty and can be written in the way that we want it to be and the way to write is from the way we live. The message is good but the presentation is poor. I omit this part from the review but the movie opens with a group of delinquents arriving in the museum. The whole story int he movie about Joaquin, Manolo, and Maria is actually a story told by the museum guide to these kids. I find it very disruptive when the story gets interrupted with these kids asking the guide "What happen next? Why such things happened? Bla bla bla".

Let's end this with a good point: the audio. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed listening the Latin accent used throughout the movie. In additioon, the music and some of the songs that Manolo sings are actually good and they suit well with the theme of the movie.

The Book of Life is a rare gem. I came expecting to be disappointed but I came out of the theater happy and satisfied. This is just my personal opinion but it is still not good enough for my personal taste. I mean although th emovie is good and makes me feel good, it is not good enough to make me want to re-watch the movie or get the DVD (or download it lol) or to buy the Making Of book.

2 weeks after surgery

Good news first. I am now able to get up or lie down on the bed quite freely although there is a sensation in the stomach when doing so. Previously, there is no sensation when doing those. However, it is no longer pain that I feel so that is a lot of improvement. Sleeping on my sides and on my tummy is also possible now although there is still the sensation.

I did not mention previously but for the first week after the surgery, I kept waking up every 2-3 hours to pass urine. It made me kinda worried if the surgery caused some damage to my bladder or something. The funny thing was that it was always a full bladder. So let's say I sleep at 12, I will wake up at 3am to pass urine. Then I will wake up again at 6am to pass urine. It is very weird to keep having a full bladder because I don't drink any water at 3am. Before the surgery, I never get my sleep disrupted to pass urine. After 2 weeks, this problem occurs less frequently. I am not sure if it is back to normal yet though.

The bad news is the lump on my right scrotum is confirmed. Previously my scrotum was still swollen that I did not dare to jump into conclusions. Now the swelling is gone but the lump remains. Sigh... I am e-mailing the doctor and am waiting for his reply. I read a lot of "scary" stories on the internet on what that lump could possibly be. But what I am very worried is if that is a new hernia and I need another surgery :( I have not even recovered from this one.

I was very depressed when I realised that this lump would not disappear. As of now, I am more or less able to "accept it". After all, worrying will not help anything as well.

That's all for today before I roll down to an even more emo mood...

1 week after surgery

Before I am writing about my health, let me write about my flight back yesterday first. I will be spending some time home until early January next year. I guess the additional 1 week at home is the only positive thing that I can think about after the surgery. 

This time I took Airfrance. It was my first time taking a full service flight for Singapore-Jakarta trip after so many years. The last time I took a full service flight for a trip home was when carriers such as Thai Airways and Cathay Pacific still offered the route. It was pretty enjoyable right from the start. Since the plane was pretty big, the gate opened rather quickly and boarding was allowed not too long after that. I was quite lucky that the seat next to mine was empty too. Haha.. The seat was more comfortable than budget airlines and combined that with food, the 1-and-a-half-hour trip felt much shorter and less tiring. The food serving was pretty small but the quantity did not take away my enjoyment of having exotic food. The food served was: a Western bread with a cheese (or was it butter or margarine) that I never saw before, pasta + 2 slices of duck, and apple crumble. Taste-wise, they were pretty good too.

Thanks to my health I did not bring any luggage with me. There was a boon with that as my flight had to wait for available luggage conveyor belts. There were 3 flights that arrived before mine and by the time I exited, they were all still waiting for their luggages. If I had a luggage with me, I predicted another 1 hour to wait.

Okay let's go about my condition 1 week after the surgery. The pain on my tummy has very much improved. Getting up, lying down, and changing position on the bed are less painful now. My left and center are fine but my right side still feels abnormal. Sigh.. My hernia is on the right so I don't know if it will take longer to heal because more things were done there. Of course I can't stop myself to worry if something bad will happen on that side.

There is still no improvement with my right scrotum which gets me really really worried. I should have told and asked the doctor last Monday :( I really feel that there is an additional "layer of something" above the right testicle which was not there before the surgery. I am very concerned if it will affect my reproductive ability in the future. Sigh..

It was quite depressing to see that I walked more slowly than the elderly in the airport. I guess on the positive side, I should take things more slowly and I should have more patients with elderly. Basically I am still unable to walk quickly as I still felt some discomfort on my right side. I should not be walking or standing too long also as I would be "protecting" my right side and it placed burden on my left leg.

Some people say I am brave or I am strong to undergo a surgery. I don't know how to reply or feel when I hear such statement. It was painful, it was disturbing, it was affecting my reproductive ability and surgery was the only way out. I had NO choice but to for a surgery.

Haiz.. Life will not be the same after this. I still don't know if I will turn this into something positive or negative. It sucks.. But seriously, as of now, I rather to immediately die than having to go for a surgery and continue living in worry and pain :(

Big Hero 6

It is very rare for me to watch a movie without reading spoilers first, even for something that I definitely want to watch. Nope, my hospitalisation was not a reason. So basically I came to the cinema only knowing that Big Hero 6 is based on some Marvel story, people generally find it very hilarious, Hiro's brother died, there is a guy called Wasabi, and there is something unusual with the antagonist.

The story is actually more down-to-earth and less superhero like. The main character is a 14 year old genius, Hiro Hamada. Similar to all genius young boys, he mainly uses his talents for gaming as he already knows what school is going to teach him. His brother, Tadashi, is also a genius who is studying in San Fransokyo Institute of Technology (no typo there, the name of the city is a hybrid between San Francisco and Tokyo) bring Hiro to his lab, show him his research (Baymax), introduce him to his classmates and to see what his classmates are doing with their talents.

The trip inspires Hiro to enroll and he invents microbots for the school convention to gain admission if his invention can impress the professor. I am not gonna mention what microbots can do but basically it is something revolutionary that even the owner of a renowned technology company, Krei Tech, is interested in purchasing it. Audience is hinted that this guy will be the bad guy.

At this point my bladder could not hold it anymore so I missed the part where Tadashi died. During his emo time, Hiro accidentally activates Baymax with his "ouch" and hilarity ensues. As a personal healthcare assistant, Baymax will do anything to help Hiro recover from his symptoms and this includes doing all the superhero things to solve the mysteries surrounding Tadashi's death.

Cartoon+comedy combo definitely scores for me. However, that does not blind me from seeing some things which can be improved. One example is how the team formation is rather 'forced'. Wasabi, Fred, Tamago, and Honey Lemon are essentially Tadashi's school mates so it is kinda weird to have them suddenly as people that can console Hiro and quickly form some emotional bonds.

I thought the "twist" was Tadashi did not die and he turned out to be the antagonist. Lol.. I was wrong. But I honestly feel that the final showdown is a mismatch between a personal revenge vs the level of catastrophe created. There are plenty of things which tug my heart strings but the mismatch at the final conflict kinda reduce the impact.

Overall, I think Big Hero 6 offers something very fresh. It is definitely not something that Marvel (or superhero stories) usually offers. Hiro's personality as a pubescent boy is spot on. Baymax is a robot but his "personality" is awesome. I think it is amazing that the voice actor (I shall refrain from using the word seiyuu lol) is able to inject personality into a robotic voice. Surprisingly, Aunt Cass and Fred are the more memorable supporting cast.

During my post-surgery emo-ness, how I wish I have a Baymax. Could he solve my hernia without a surgery?? Sigh.. if he asks for my pain score, my answer will be zero. The pain in the heart and mind is more than the physical pain. Grrrh.. I shall not pepper this movie entry with my personal emoness.

Now I am wishing for a life-size Baymax plushie which I think will be very cute and comfy to hug :) Hehe...

Post-op check up

I went to see the surgeon again this morning for removal of the stitches. The clinic was already very crowded and I did not have any chance to ask any questions. I was only told that everything was okay although my hole was rather huge. I had to return the operation video back as the doctor would like to use it for a presentation sometime in February. Sigh.. It had to be pretty uniquely bad. The doctor also informed me to lose weight (seriously!) as there was too much oil and fats beneath my abdomen. Haiz!! It is time to replace milk with yoghurt as advised.

I wanted to really know where exactly the mesh was placed and whether it could come off. I think it could come off but at least I would like to know what I could do or what I should avoid to minimise the chance of it coming off. I wanted to know the symptoms if the mesh came off. Of course my number one concern was still my right ball. It was not in a different condition from before the op. Sigh.. Was a mesh added to "protect" it? I can't help but wonder what is the additional layer surrounding the testicle. Haiz.. The good thing is that there is no pain and no bruising whatsoever.

Next follow up will be in 6 months time so meanwhile, I can only wait after 2 weeks if my right scrotum will revert back to pre-op condition.

After the check-up, I went to watch Big Hero 6. Wanted to watch it since beginning of November but I decided to wait until I could use the free movie tickets. It was a great show so I shall write about it tomorrow. Lol I know I still have yet to write anything about the Book of Life leh haha...

I survived a surgery

I went to see a specialist on Thursday and the hernia diagnosis was confirmed. The doctor literally pushed in the intestines back to where they were supposed to be. It was painful and the hole was kinda large. I literally could feel a 'pop' sound as his finger found the hole.

The surgery was performed on Saturday at 3.30pm. Preparation-wise, I only needed to take 400mg of Ceftibuten. Since I have insurance, I might as well use the full coverage for a single room. Anyway, the main difference will only be the cost of the room ($500+ for single room, $300+ for 2 bedded room, and $200+ for 4 bedded room) as the treatment and consumable cost is not marked up depending on the room type.

The toiletries were even more atas than the hotel I stayed in! Haha..

As I was wheeled in from the room to the operating theatre, it was kinda demoralising as I was much younger than other patients. In fact, the porter who pushed the bed could easily be as old as my dad. I think the nurses would also be confused why such a healthy cheerful young man could be admitted to hospital. The surgery took about 2 hours and if I were not wrong, it took me about 1 hour to recover. It was painful and I was on pethidine IV until midnight. I could barely asleep if not because of the pethidine as the nurse had to check my blood pressure and temperature every 2 hours.

The surgery was a laparoscopy procedure. 3 small incisions were made: just below the navel, 1 on the right side, and 1 on the left side. Throughout the whole night I felt something at the middle which I didn't know if it was pain from the wound or the urge to go toilet. I tried to pee but I couldn't. Not sure if it was because the dizziness due to pethidine that I was trying to focus on standing or I was too self conscious to pee with someone around. Even when the nurse left me alone in the bathroom, nothing came out. The nurse was accompanying me just to make sure I do not fall,

In the morning, the doctor checked on me and I was only allowed to be discharged after I passed urine. In the end I managed to pass urine while sitting down. Jeez.. I became like a female already lo..

The post-surgery pain was not as bad as expected. I even walked back from the hospital to the hotel. Lol.. The buses were crowded and I doubted I could balance myself on a crowded bus. There was no pain when I remained stationery but it was painful when I had to move. Sleeping became a nightmare as it hurt to lie down or to get up. Laughing and coughing also hurt. Because of the intubation, I had some phlegm and blood down the throat and it took quite a while to cough them out. Passing urine also caused a bit of pain near the belly button/bladder area.

I think they did some shaving on my balls as it felt quite different. My right ball was swollen and it was bothering me as I thought the procedure was not at that area. Sigh.. I guess I gotta wait for a week to see how it goes.

Although I survived all of these, I seriously don't want anymore surgery and hospital stay. Seriously, God, just let me die straight next time :( Although honestly, I was more bothered about strangers seeing me naked and my oily butt thanks to a suppository that I thought I was soilimg myself than the post-surgery pain itself.

Because of this, I missed this year's Anime Festival Asia as well as the Standard Chartered Marathon. Haiz...

Hernia :(

It all began with increasing frequency of gastric discomfort. Initially I thought they were just normal bouts of gastric discomfort. I began to notice something usual: they occurred more and more often (as often as once a month), they were not associated with missed meals or late meals, and normal gastric medications did not have any effects. There was also stretching discomfort at the inguinal region (that's medical term for the region between the thigh and the abdomen) which made me suspicious about hernia.

However, when you google hernia, its presentation is commonly as a bulge. I did not notice anything bulging. When I compared my left and right side, the right side feels "harder" as if  there was something underlying it but I did not suspect anything. I thought it was quite normal to have your left and right body unsymmetrical. I went to see doctor and he could not feel the hernia pouch on my inguinal region but I still got my referral to hospital. In fact, I was actually more bothered about the gastric pain which lately seemed to coincide with the discomfort at the inguinal region.

When I went home to attend my cousin's wedding last week, I decided to ask my uncle who is a doctor. He told me that inguinal hernia could extend to the scrotum. After hearing that, I started touching myself to realise that I had 3 lumps there!! Shit.. I was very sure that previously I only had 2 balls down there. After 1 of the random nights, I woke up with only 2 balls down there so I am quite sure that really I have inguinal hernia which goes to the scrotum. No wonder there is no visible bulge anywhere :( I always thought inguinal hernia and scrotal hernia as different issue altogether. Since my discomfort is always at the inguinal, I am not bothered to check for any random lumps at the crotch.

I went to TTSH yesterday and the doctor said I got no hernia as she could not feel anything at the inguinal region. I told her about the scrotum lump and I had to expose myself T_T Just with 1 cough, it was confirmed that I have a hernia down there. I am fully prepared with the fact that hernia repair will only be done by surgery. However I am not prepared to here the risks, although the likelihood is very small. The first one I am most worried is if somehow the spermatic cord is damaged. It basically means I will just become a half man. Haiz :( The second risk is the nerve damage that will affect my thigh. I know the risks are small bla bla bla but you can never know anything before it is cut open and see how anatomy is like down there.

I can't wait until 15 January which is the earliest date TTSH can give me. I will try Glenagles this Thursday. I believe in private, as long as I am willing to pay, I can get it done more quickly. Thank goodness I decided to purchase a health insurance earlier this year. The problem is finding a good surgeon. I ask around so many doctors and all of them have no contact with hernia surgeons. I decided to book an appointment with the doctor who operated on my dad 20 years ago (as well as my grand uncle and grand aunt). I believe that he is good. My concern will be his age. Sigh.. I mean if I have to sacrifice my reproductive capability and my thigh nerve because of my anatomy, I can accept it. But I am worried if unsteady hands will damage the wrong thing. Huhuhu T_T

I don't know how this will turn out but my advice for all of you, especially the guys, out there:

1) Get a health insurance. You never know when disaster or illness strikes and you need it. The hospital bills in Singapore is crazy and with an insurance, at least you don't get to worry about finance. Yes, a peace of mind is costly.

2) Get a rider that allows you to go to private hospitals. The wait at restructured hospitals are crazy. I seriously cannot wait another month with the occasional gastric discomfort (which is happening more frequently) and an additional lump bigger than testicles in the scrotum.

3) This may sound inappropriate but touch and play with your balls everyday. Don't be like me who cannot even be sure whether I have an abnormal lump in my scrotum! Honestly, even the severe gastric pain still cannot compare with the worry thinking if you have any abnormality in your manhood! In fact, this is what making me more worried lately.

Spongebob Charity Walk

I am half dead after waking up at 5 am today. Haha.. I am not a sporty person and I am not a fan of Spongebob so it was quite a feat that I said "Yes!" when my friends asked me to go for Spongebob Charity Walk. It was a 3.5km walk so I took it as a warm up before my 10km Standard Chartered Marathon Run in 2 weeks time.

It was the first mass event I joined so frankly, I did not know what to expect. The joining fee was $25 and the race pack had 1 t-shirt, 2 cup noodles, 1 box of cereal, various vouchers that I have no use of, and Kiehl's samples and ticket for free 15 minutes consultation. It is worth >$25 if you find any use of the vouchers. The t-shirt was rather disappointing: plain white with the picture above (minus the Spongy Charity Walk). Yes, the white letters took up so much space, more than Spongebob and Patrick themselves. Cup noodles also did not impress me. You want to have an event to promote health and well being but the goodie bag has instant noodles?? What???!!

According to the post-event news, there were about 600 participants. It did not feel that crowded. Haha.. My friends and I could still take pictures without any need to queue. I also could take pictures without random strangers on the background. Lol. Although I am not a fan of Spongebob, since I was already there, I might as well take photos with the various standees lo. Haha..

The walk itself had nothing special with only various Spongebob cut outs along the way. I was expecting things more happening. The climax became anti-climatic as the organisers were rather screwed up. We were grouped for the photo-taking with Spongebob and Patrick's mascots but we were grouped with strangers. WTF!! Bleah..

The medal is also rather disappointing. In the promotional picture, it is coloured but the actual one is not coloured. Bleah.. But I think it is still okay to keep as a "collection" lo. Haha.. At least I still get it and no need to fight (and did not get) like the Hello Kitty Run earlier this month. Lol.

After lunch at e-Hub! nearby, my friends forced me to waste time and money by watching Penguins of Madagascar. Jeez... I wanted to go home and rest already leh :( But I was kept hostage because I put my bag in a friend's car. I managed to skip temptation of using the $2 voucher (from the charity walk!) for ChaTime. Jiayou, myself!! No bubble tea until end of 2014 at least okay!

Usually I like to watch cartoon but I have no interest whatsoever after seeing the trailer for Penguins of Madagascar. It seems to be pure comedy without any meaningful story or plot whatsoever. None of the animals fall under cute category either.

The story is about an octopus who wants to take a revenge against all the penguins. The octopus is used to be the main attraction in a zoo before penguins are brought in and people are flocking to cute penguins. The octopus gets shipped to another zoo and the same scenario repeats. Now the octopus has created Medusa Serum to turn cute penguins into hideous monsters. The octopus kidnaps all the penguins in zoos across the world to do this. Only the 4 penguins of Madagascar and an organisation called North Wind can stop this evil scheme. 

The octopus is successful to turn all but 1 penguin called Private into hideous monsters. Private "sacrificed" himself to reverse the process using his cuteness "power". Seriously what the fxxx and he is not even cute or like-able or anything.

What a waste of $9.50 and my Sunday T_T

Working and studying are tough. Constantly there are things to do and I find myself having not enough time to rest and do my usual time-wasting activities. Bleah.. I guess it helps a little bit that I like to study so studying is not that stressful to me. The stress from trying to memorise and getting the correct answers is bad enough. Haha... But honestly, one good thing that I have to work and study at the same time is that it makes me more disciplined with time management. I guess I have to slowly cut down and get rid of the times wasted for surfing internet and watching youtube videos.

I went home for about 4 days last week to attend a wedding from a distant cousin. His mom and my father are cousins. Come to think of it, it was quite weird that I was looking forward to his wedding. I am not too close to him. In fact, we only met twice: once in Singapore when he was looking for accomodation (we are of the same age by the way) and then once when I went back to Pontianak a few years back. Perhaps I was just longing for holiday so this wedding was a perfect excuse to go home for a short break and at the same time to meet some relatives.

Since April-November, there are about 60+ comics at home that I need to read. Lol.. I totally had no time to read them as I also had to juggle with my study materials. I shall see how December go.

This short break also makes me think that I should start dieting again. I used to buy meal replacement cereals to try to lose weight many years ago and it did not work. I was constantly feeling hungry but now I knew why. I was a poor student back then and instead of following the direction of 2 sachets per meal, I only used 1 to "save". Obviously with half of the energy, it made me constantly hungry. Now that I am working, Rp 15000 per 2 sachets (or less than <$2) to replace a meal seem worth trying. I still feel hungry but I don't know if that's my body is in the process of adapting back. As long as I don't fall sick, I guess I will keep on trying. Haha..

Changi Airport is having Disney-theme Christmas decoration this year. Yay!! Although I had yet to see anything even when I landed back on Monday. Haha.. After reaching home, I was welcomed with a letter from Golden Village. I got 2 free tickets from their September member draw. Whee.... I was thinking of watching Big Hero 6 on that day (overheard people talking about how funny it is at the airport). Since the free tickets have short expiry (in January), I decided to keep it for Big Hero 6. In the end I watched The Book of Life using the free tickets from the Maze Runner event.

I thought I was going to skip The Book of Life as I did not really like the animation style. But since the reviews are generally good, I decided to give it a try. Since this post is already too long, I will write a separate one on the movie. Lol..

On Tuesday, I tried to pangseh the dinner invitation for the dance team for the company's dinner & dance earlier this month. I already went home and it was already 1 hour after the supposed meeting time but I was "emotinally blackmailed" when I was still asked to come. Grrraaaah... I gave in and took a taxi there. Not a fan of Indian food but it was quite a good experience eating Indian buffet. I did not like most of the food except for the naan bread and the cheese soup thingy (can't remember what it is called).

Other than that, I guess I am back to my usual boring life.. Haha.. but today I took a break from studying to write this blog.

Dao

This is a bit outdated as it would be something that happened a few weeks ago during last pharmacy congress. I am an introvert, shy, and can't be bothered person. When I come across someone I know but I am not too close with, I will just pretend not to see or not to know them. At times, I will even try to avoid eye contact. During pharmacy congress, obviously I would come across my ex-classmates, ex-lecturers, etc and basically I tried to do all the above.

Ironically, as I was alone, I ended up with my ex-classmate who was also alone. It was pretty awkward but not too bad as we were quite okay at school. However at one of the optional sessions, one of my ex-lecturers sat next to my ex-classmate. Oh no.. Imagine when my ex-lecturer not only remembered me but also remembered my name! Oh em gee.. I mean I was not a popular student and I was not very bright too so I did not expect to be remembered, especially since I graduated 3 years ago. After that, I met another ex-lecturer in the toilet and he smiled when we had a brief eye contact which also meant that he remembered me. Ouch.. a part of me felt happy for being somewhat 'memorable' but most part of me felt embarrassed as on many previous occasions I had always pretended not aware of them.

Life often takes unexpected turn and that is why I rather leave everything to God's plan instead of making my own plans. I am never interested in going to clinical track but now I am doing Clinical Pharmacist Preparation Program (CP3) How on earth did this happen? I am considering Masters in Healthcare Administration or Masters in Clinical Educator. Unfortunately, the former requires at least 4 years of working experience and the latter requires some clinical practice experience. Then I received a call from one of my bosses to offer me about this CP3. Apparently, the person who was supposed to go for this run was withdrawn for some reason so there was a vacancy. Not sure why I was being considered as I have always made it clear that clinical track is not my interest. With a deadline of 1 weekend to make my decision, it was quite difficult.

Well in the end I decided to do it. I don't know what the future lies but at this point of time, I have told the boss about my expectations and reasons for doing this. I don't mind having some clinical background but I don't want to be limited to clinical track. I am just doing this just to "kill the time" while waiting for 4 years to be eligible for the Healthcare Administration or for foundation to do Clinical Educator.

I nearly died looking at the course material now. Sigh.. If it is going to take so much effort, might as well aim for the Masters in Clinical Pharmacy :( I don't know how I am going to survive this. A part of me actually feels rather excited to study again. I guess I am just a chao mugger deep inside.

Regardless of the outcome, I guess I have to be thankful for this privilege. I mean there are many people who prefer clinical to operations track and here I am, who prefer operations track, end up getting to do a clinical course. I was told that there would be an interview but because I was so last minute into the registration, I was in without an interview! Wow.. I guess I would never pass the interview round since I would not be able to give a model answer of being clinically driven or something. I am also quite happy that the IMH pharmacist who is involved in this actually also remembered me although I only did a 1 week attachment there during my pre-reg. Again I did not expect to be that memorable.

Oh well.. that's all for tonight.. Did not study tonight because of blogging. Well done!! Haha...

D & D

The series of burnt weekends finally ended tonight with Dinner & Dance. It was my first time to experience a true D & D as I was both having dinner and dancing. I guess that is another item crossed out from my bucket list. I am not a dancer and I never imagine myself to be able to dance in public. Of course I don't dare to even watch the video as I think I would be embarrassing myself.

I did not want to go for this D & D for many reasons and I really regret going. Firstly, it was a waste of $60. One of my colleague is a member of the organising committee and she assured me that the food was okay. Well, the food sucked. Secondly, I was not excited with the retro theme. 1 good thing about performing was that I could just wear the dancing costume for the dinner. The rental cost me $50 although it would be reimbursed by the clinic. I had difficulty finding suitable costume and I just grabbed whatever I could find. The top was okay but the bell-bottom pants were too long for me. It was nothing fantastic and I was not eager with taking pictures whatsoever which was like defeating the purpose of going for such a social event.

Thirdly, my team lost! Ouch! We only got consolation prize which basically meant that we were lousy. It was quite disappointing as I thought we were not that bad. We deserved at least the 3rd prize or 2nd. Bleah.. I guess I am just kiasu. I already spent time to practice and hunt for the costume, forked out money for the costume, and embarrassed myself on stage so of course I wanted to win something la.

But the thing that made me upset the most was that I LOST MY EZLINK! Bloody fucking shit!! It still has $20+ value inside T_T I am sure it dropped during rehearsal. Sigh.. I hope whoever found it but did not return it to me will just get the karma.. Fuck fuck fuck la..

The only consolation I got was that I won a lucky draw prize #258 out of 400+ available prizes. I don't know what I got but I doubt that it would cover all the money I spent for this event. Sigh..

Trying the 60s clothes is quite an experience for me. The materials are very light and comfortable. Everything seems to be quite loose. Unfortunately, as I am used to the clothes nowadays like tight jeans etc, retro clothes feel like pajamas (in a good way). I don't have the confidence to wear them outside though. With them being loose, it does not provide enough support, especially for the butts and the crotch. Lol.. And 1 thing very unique about the 60s is that floral prints and neon colours are deemed masculine for men fashion. 

Sustainability

After 2 years of hard work, stress, negative emotions, black faces, and curses and bitching behind me, I am glad that everything is finally paid off as my project won the "Sustainability Award" today. Hooray!! I guess even my bosses knew how disappointed I was last year when the same project did not even win any award. I wanted to cry when the company nominated this project for sustainability award for this year as it meant that I had to prolong my agony for another year. I was like, "Is there a point continuing something for another year to hope for an award when it can't even win anything for this year's competition?".

Today I am very glad and I am very proud as I am the first one from the company to win this "Sustainability Award" :) I feel like a prick for saying the following but I really would like to thank the bitches who black-faced me when I asked for help for the data mining. Thanks to them I decided not to seek their help for the 2nd year of the project. It was a tiring and lonely journey but hey, now I don't need to share the credit. Yee haa.. And you suckers just lose an opportunity to boast something in your resume.

Perhaps I was too arrogant and too over-confident last year as everyone was saying good things about my project. After that failure, I did not hope much for this year. I was shabbily dressed and tadaaa.. I looked bad on photos. Haha.. I am pretty sure. Deep inside, I think I am a very shy person. Before announcing the result, the MC was giving a short synopsis of the winning project. The second I knew that it was mine, my heart was beating real fast. Yeah I was quite shy. Lol..

Anyway, the greatest glory goes to God as nothing is possible without Him. I would also like to thank the judges for judging that my project is worthy of winning this, the co-leader of the project and my colleagues (some of them are not even with the company anymore) who have directly or indirectly been involved with the execution of the project. Special thanks to my colleagues who had to work harder to cover me during the hours (which amounts to a few days in total) I spent in my computer during the data mining, report writing, and poster designing.

As I don't want to reveal my identity too much, that's all that I want to say. No more details haha.. 28 October is usually an emo day for me as that was the day when my parents dumped me here 12 years ago. Looks like this year gotta be a good one. I hope tomorrow will be a good day.

Lastly, I hope that God will keep me grounded and not to be arrogant just because of this. I know it is not going to be easy because pride/arrogance is one of my weaknesses.

Sleep debt

I am sleep deprived this week and things are not going to be better in the coming weeks. 24th Singapore Pharmacy Congress also happened on this weekend. I have to work on next Saturday and Sunday will be company's strategic retreat. T_T The Saturday after that will be D & D which means that the week prior to that will be burnt for dance practice. Haiz...

Because of the strategic retreat, I had to shift my renovation turn with one of my colleague. Thus I did last Wednesday and I stayed back until close to midnight o_0 It was not my turn actually. Friday was my turn again and it ended 1 hour later than initially planned. The only consolation was that I had work to do so that at least I could make use of the time. Of course it was not as efficient as expected with my tiredness. Even the vendor and contractor who are involved in renovation told me on Friday that I looked very much more tired and stressed as compared to Wednesday.

Tiredness aside, lets share some of the better moments. On Thursday, I managed so sell my HG 1/144 Gundam Deathscythe and Deathscythe Hell. It has been more than half a year since the last time I managed to sell anything in April. Clearly I am buying things at much faster rate than things being sold T_T I am actually quite reluctant to part with the Deathscythe as it has the mini Duo. But since my collection at home already has 1/100 Deathscythe, I guess there is no point keeping both. I was actually looking for Deathscythe Hell but I wanted the one with the mini Duo so I don't want this one that does not have mini Duo.

The last thing is a bit of shameless but I guess I will just go ahead as perhaps this will be the only time that I will be involved in Singapore Pharmacy Congress. So my name is listed somewhere in the programme as well as the website. Lol.

Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends

Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends is the finale of Kenshin live-action trilogy. After a great first part and an awesome second part, expectations are high for the third part. As much as I want to be positive, unfortunately The Legend Ends fails to deliver fans' expectations of climactic finale to end the series with a bang.

The root cause of the failure lies with how the movie deviates from the original manga/anime plot. The first hour was an ultimate boredom that even if you fall asleep at the beginning, you still can follow the story later on. The first hour is mostly about emo Kenshin trying to learn the ultimate technique from his master, Seijuro Hiko. After that, it starts to get exciting with all the battles.

As I mentioned earlier, the battles are not as exciting as the original manga/anime. In the manga/anime, the battle against Shishio is not only a fight with Shishio. It is also a battle against Shishio's army: the Juppongatana which is sadly almost made absent in the movie. Kenshin vs Chou is already shown in the Kyoto Inferno and in The Legend Ends we only have Saitou one-shots Usui, Kenshin vs Seijiro, Sanosuke vs Anji, and the final battle against Shishio.

Sanosuke vs Anji battle was like a joke as there is no relationship between the two in the live action. Again, I hate how the director makes Sanosuke as if he is completely useless and lousy in battle. Sano's fight is just randomly hitting like a street gangster. Bleah... The 4-vs-1 battle against Shishio is nicely executed although I have to say it is weird that Aoshi just appeared out of nowhere for this battle in the movie. I know that they don't want to create cheesy special moves like the anime but I think they should at least put in a few moves. The final battle feels rather bland and has nothing outstanding as compared to the other battles in the movie. Even Kenshin's Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki (that the movie spends an hour for him to learn this move on!) gets poor representation in this battle. Lame..

The most memorable part on Kenshin vs Shishio fight is Yumi's sacrifice. Sadly, this part is played down in the movie. Without dramatisation, audience will feel that Yumi is an idiot instead of feeling emotional that this is an act of love from her part.

My last complaint will be how Okina is made dead in the movie. Come on! Aoshi was a jerk who eventually turns around. With Okina being 'indirectly' killed because of Aoshi, Aoshi is not depicted in the good light in the movie.

All in all, I think this is a big anti-climax for all the good things that the first 2 movies have done. This is talking from a fan's point of view. For people who have not read the manga or watched the anime, I guess the movie is still enjoyable and worth watching.

Although the 3 movies can be considered "good" to "very good", I don't think I will be buying their DVDs. Why? I am quite disturbed with the amount of blood. Haha.. I am not disturbed with blood in cartoon (anime) or drawing (manga) forms. But seeing it in a very realistic manner kinda bothers me. Lol.

Saint Seiya: Legend of Sanctuary

Saint Seiya: Legend of Sanctuary is a full CG-movie based on the Saint Seiya's Sanctuary arc. I was quite disappointed the first time I saw the trailer because the character design is nothing like the anime. I sort of feel that they will somehow butcher the story but I am still hoping for something good after seeing the awesome action scenes and Final Fantasy-ish look of the characters. Sanctuary arc itself is fantastic so even if they somehow butcher it, it would still be interesting to watch.

The movie opened with a bang: a battle among a few Gundams. Oops... It may seem too over the top for some people but I do think that the gold saints flying and shooting colored things really remind me of Gundam battle. Basically the first 30 minutes are awesome with the introduction of the Seiya and friends and their power. It actually made me kinda excited to hope that things would just be getting better.

Sadly, things are going downhill after the first 30 minutes. I hate the new design of the gold saints. In the anime/manga, they are supposed to be in their 20s but in this CG version, they all look like old man. Just ew... They even make Milo into a female. Like whaddafuk.. Things start to get unbearable past Taurus as the story starts to deviate from the manga/anime. With the short 90+ minutes screen time, I know things will get shortened but I expect at least great animation for each of the iconic duels and each of the gold saint's special moves. Obviously these do not happen.  The duels are getting more and more absurd with just flashes of light flying here and there as if the animators are also growing lazy. All these crap culminate in the bizarre climax when Saga merges himself with some rock and becomes a super monster. That really reminded me of the final bosses in Final Fantasy games.

It is said that the modernisation is an attempt to get new audience. That does not and will not happen apparently. I did not see any children in the cinema yesterday. I think the plot is way too crappy for this movie to be able to withdraw the crowd. All the light and fireworks may be visually appealing but it defeats the purpose of action movie when all the action scenes are blinded and hidden behind all these bling bling. 

The modernisation attempt is kinda hit and miss for me although there are more misses than hits. The new cloths make the characters look like tokusatsu characters and you don't really see the shape of the constellations they are representing. The new look of sanctuary has nothing Greek about it. In fact, it reminds me of Asgard from Thor films. You will wonder why there is a need to go through the 12 temples when the saints are capable of flying and teleportation -__- They might just as well fly and teleport straight to the the final temple. The only hit is their transformation scenes. It is a good idea to have them "summon" their cloths from the metal plate worn as their necklaces instead of carrying the cloth box at their back.

People generally find Seiya to be too genki and irritating but I find him okay. Shiryuu always wears his cloth which is kinda opposite from his anime/manga self who always tries to get shirtless in all his fight. Hyoga tries to be cool but fails. Shun is more masculine than I expected. Unfortunately, he is really a wimp here as he does not really fight. Ikki reminds me of Terra (Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep) and he is also a loser here. Sadly the brothers are omitted from their duels against the gold saints so basically they don't win any fight in the movie. I actually like Saori's personality here. In the original anime/manga, she is behaving too mature for her age but in the movie, she behaves like how 15 year old girl should be.

Overall, I think that this is a big failure and a big disappointment to old Saint Seiya fans. They might as well call this Saint Seiya: Final Fantasy although unfortunately it is a combination of the bad parts of both worlds.

By the way, I did not know that they had a sneak preview on last Saturday :( I did not know how much it cost but if I went for that, I would get movie premiums such as A2 movie poster, movie cards, plastic folder, and a mini tin box with the same of the cloth box. Haiz.. Anyway I am also upset that the ticket cost me $13. I think since it is an exclusive by Odex, they decide to charge such a ridiculous price lo...

Spectacles

After close to 10 years, it is time for me to get new spectacles. For people who doubt the effectiveness of social media advertising, I can honestly say that it works. I came across the advertisement for Owndays PC on facebook which caught my interest for the ability of the lens to cut down up to 40% of blue light from electronic devices like computer, gaming devices, handphones, tablets, etc. I happened to see that advertisement when my eyes were very tired so it was really the right thing at the right time. Before going down, I tried to google for people's experiences with the shop and overall the reviews are pretty positive. After going, it is not all flowers and pretty things so I decide to write about my own experience which I hope is more balanced.

Owndays is a spectacle shop originating from Japan. It opened its first store in Singapore in 2013 although I was never aware of this. Owndays is unique as it displays the frames on the shelves for customers to take a look, touch, try it on, and look at the price. This is in contrast to typical optics where frames are kept inside a glass display and customers have to ask the shopkeeper to take it out. To add to its unique-ness, the pricing is very straight forward and there is no hidden charges. The price that you see include the frame + the basic lens. Just add another $100 if you want to upgrade the lens to a thinner one or the PC lens. The best thing is everything will be ready in just 20 minutes.

I was expecting to wait 2-3 weeks as my degrees are pretty bad. Imagine my surprise when they have all sort of lenses available with various degrees (including astigmatism!). The optician, who assisted me, also showed how the PC lens cut down the light passing through her torchlight to show that the lens is not some gimmick. Sadly, to keep the weight at lighter side, all the lenses are made of plastic. Plastic lenses are generally thicker than glass lenses which make them not very suitable for people with severely poor eyesight like me. The optician was also honest and told me, who have been using glass lenses my whole life, that plastic lenses can be twice as thick as my glass lenses and they won't give as clear as glass lenses too.

The service is top-notch. Although I said that I already had a prescription, the optician still offered to check my current spectacles to ensure that it is indeed the same as my prescription, to check for my degree (which is obviously worse than my current prescription), to check for the astigmatism axes and my focal point. Wow.. From my previous experience, optical shops usually cannot bother to do re-measurement when I just provided them with a prescription.

Style-wise, as expected from Japan, the available ranges are pretty huge, colorful, trendy, and chic. Unfortunately, as expected for their price, a lot are made of plastic and rubbery material which will definitely not last through the test of time. In addition, a lot of their models have nose supports connected to the frame only by a screw. I think that is another minus point since I am looking for something durable. There is a small section for titanium frames but they also feel rather plasticky. I guess that's the downside for their attempt to keep things light. In relation to my high degrees and plastic lens, my choice of frame became quite limited as I had to choose frames which are sturdy enough to support as well as to hide the thick lenses.

My main objective is to get a new pair of spectacles to replace my current one which was bought like 7+ years ago. Lol.. But I am quite vain and I ended up with 2 pairs. Oh em gee.. I chose a titanium frame for my first pair which is going to be my main one and that cost me $298 in total (inclusive the upgrade to PC lens). There is an ongoing promotion for half price for the second pair and thus my second pair only cost me $138 in total. I chose a sporty style and this is purely for vanity purpose as the thick frame will make me look weird for daily use.

I guess I was a bit too excited when choosing my second pair and I did not realise that the back half of the temples (yes that is what the long part of the frame which is resting against your temples are called) is made up of the rubbery material. It feels like the rubbery material for the casing of my Sony Ericsson K800i phone and I hate it. It will get sticky after a few years even when it is not being used. Shit man!

Ironically, my vain pair of specs becomes my main one. Thanks to my weird and non-symmetrical facial features, the temples have to be configured into a very weird position that makes the whole spectacles cannot fit to the box. No choice but I have to wear it. It does not make me giddy and I adjusted to it rather quickly which proved that they got the measurements correct. My previous spectacles always have something 'not right' as I will feel a bit giddy and need some adaptation when I change to them.

On a second look, the frame actually resembles goggles donned by superheroes so I will call refer this as "superhero" specs. Lol. The thickness of the lens really shocked me! Although the optician had been very honest about it, the thickness was way too thick. It made me really like an old man T_T On top of that, the PC lenses appear blue-ish which means they are really reflecting blue light but this makes the lenses appear even thicker. My my...

Some of you may be wondering if the PC thingy is just a gimmick. I can testify that it is not. Comparing against my 'normal' glass lens, the reflection of white light on the PC lens is blue-ish and much more defined while the reflection of white light on normal lens is white and very light. That basically means most light pass through normal lens. In addition when compared against white paper, the paper appears brownish under PC lens which also proves about lesser light passing through.

I still don't know if I like it or not. It cuts down the glare from computer screens but at the same time, you need sufficient light to be able to see something. The fact that less light pass through makes my eyes feel a bit tired. I don't know if my eyes naturally compensate the "lesser light" by working "harder". It makes looking at computer screens more enjoyable and relaxing when you are doing brainless things like watching anime or youtube videos. At the same time, when you need to focus eg. reading, it is more difficult and tiring.

With the addition of these 2 pairs, I have a total of SIX pairs of glasses now. What the... Hahaha... They are:
1) The one for daily use
I don't think there is any brand for this and I have been using this same pair since my JC days. Either that the quality is good or I just take a good care of it or both. A lot of paint has disappeared but it is still my number 1 pair as it is the most comfortable.

2) The nerdy one
I got the frame for free when I purchased the one for daily use. I only put it in lens with a degree in my university days. Although I like it because it gives me a 'different' look, it is not comfortable as it keeps sliding off. Lesson learnt is to avoid those long plastic temples which are not very bend-able to follow my weird facial contours.

3) The formal one
Red frame and Levi's brand. It is my first branded frame (thanks to my parents!) although I don't know if it is fake since I bought it at Mangga Dua, Indonesia. Lol.. Because of the price tag, I reserve this only for special formal occasions. I don't know why the lenses are damn heavy and the nose pads always leave marks on my nose. This discomfort is what deters me from using this for daily use.

4) Sunglass
This is a sunglass with prescription lenses. The brand is Giordano. Again courtesy to my parents haha... Nothing really trendy about the design but because it is a sunglass with prescription lenses, it has a special place in my heart. Haha...

5) Superhero goggles
I am 'forced' to wear this because it does not fit into the box. Lol.. I have to get the right temple readjusted this weekend as it keeps sliding down. Grr...

6) New-kid-on-the-block
The last one is the new one with titanium frame. I have yet to wear this so it is difficult for me to say anything about it yet.

Folded

Front view

Top view

Ok this makes me feel that I own a spectacle shop liao

Lucky day

I consider myself to have a bad luck when it comes to lucky draw, lucky dip, random prizes, and things like that. Therefore, I am very happy with my luck today. Today was the first time that I won "big" for a lucky draw. I won the 3rd prize!! Yay!! The prize is just $100 of Resorts World Sentosa vouchers. I don't know whether they can be used for the shops outside the Universal Studios. However, they are expiring in late March 2015 and my family would be coming here in March next year. So at least I can utilise the voucher for a family dinner.

I am very pleased although this was only the 3rd prize because I prefer cash or voucher over goods. The 2nd prize was a coffee maker and the 1st prize was an air purifier. For a homeless person like me, these things will just pile up in my room. So the voucher prize is simply the best one for me. Hehe..

30 September is the feast day of my patron Saint: Saint Jerome. I am sure that my good luck today is also due to his prayers and intercessions. I am very thankful for that but of course the greatest glory still goes to God for this gift.

Self-absorbed

When you are too self-absorbed, you don't care about others and you don't even think of able to like or love someone. And that is exactly what is going on with my life: it is all about me.. me.. and me. I can't bear the thought of being rejected by a girl and thus I always wish for a girl who will come forward to me. My wish came true and it is not 1 but 2 girls. Human can never be happy or satisfied and now I wish that I never wished what I wished. Lol..

In university, I belong to a clique in which I am the only guy and right from the first year, 1 of the girls and I often joke around as a couple. Yep that continues occasionally until today. I went cycling with half of this clique last Sunday and during lunch, they asked me why I never consider that girl as a girlfriend after so long joking around. Err... if really there is a feeling, I think by now I already ask to be together with her lor..

The other girl is an ex-temp staff at my workplace. I did not suspect anything when at one time she suddenly asked me about my girlfriend criteria as I thought she was asking on behalf of her friend. But after that her advances were getting more obvious like offering to bring lunch for me or asking to drink Starbucks promotion together. It becomes difficult for me: if I remain normal, I may be giving her false hope.. if I become mean, then I would be an asshole who assume that she likes me. Without realising, on the last few weeks of work, there was no such thing as normal. I did become a bit more strict towards her but I still maintain our LINE communication. It all ended with a message that she sent me last week. That message was just short of asking if I want to be with her. I just answered with a NO icon and that was it. I guess I just want to make it obvious that I am okay as friends but no for anything beyond that.

As of now, I still want to be single and free. I don't care what people say.. People can say I am gay. I am okay with that :) After all, my one and only true love as of now is only myself and I am a guy. So yes, I am in love with a guy. Haha..

I am sick of being homeless and I get upset every time my parents mention about home.. I guess as my revenge, I keep telling them "No house no wife". IF (yes a big IF) my parents really get me a house, I really don't know what to do next. Haha.. How to find a wife sia?? The one girl that I like and that I think can be a wife material in the sense that I can imagine myself building a family with her is currently already having a boyfriend sia... I have not met any other girl who invokes the same emotion in my heart and brain leh..

25km

Aching legs

Painful butt

Burnt skin

Greasy fingers

Guess what did I do?

Sex on the beach is definitely not the answer. Haha... I went to cycle yesterday morning with a different group of friends. We cycled from ECP to Changi Beach and back. According to my friend's smartwatch, the total distance was about 25km. I guess that's another item crossed out from my bucket list.. Lol.. For a group of lazy bums like us, to do that was an achievement.

Things did not begin smoothly as a few of us complained of problems with our bikes. The gears did not work properly. The chain on my bike came off when I changed gears. Bleah.. We reached Changi Beach after cycling for 1 hour (including all the stops due to bike problems) and the distance was about 12.5km. We thought it was quite ridiculous considering one of our friends can complete a 10km run in just 50minutes. How could we cycle as fast as a human running?

Not sure if it was fatigue or the bike was really shit. The journey back was killing us, me especially. The chain came off another 2 times.. The bike did not seem to retaining speed which made me have to pedal continuously. Something was really not right with my bike as to keep on the same speed with my friends, I had to pedal more revolutions. In fact, I followed the pedalling speed of the people ahead of me and I realised that they were getting further.. Perhaps it was a karma for cursing those family bikes last week. My bike was actually moving as fast as those family bikes on the way back..

I am quite sure if I had an ok bike, it would not be this tiring and painful.. Bleah.. Now I am thinking twice about cycling at ECP... And I don't know how I am going to survive the 10km run this December T_T

Final Fantasy VII Cold Cast Model: Cloud vs Sephiroth

I am not a fan of Final Fantasy VII but ironically the most expensive toy that I ever spent on is an FF VII item. Final Fantasy VII Cold Cast Model: Cloud vs Sephiroth is notoriously expensive with eBay listing ranging from USD 5000-10000 . Of course nobody actually purchased at that price. The usual end price of successful auctions/sales range from USD 1800 - 2000. The figure was released in 1999 and as the name suggest, it is a resin cold cast statue. I suppose the main reason for the crazy price is that it is a limited edition statue and only 1000 pieces are ever produced. There is actually no proof of this production size as there is no serial number or serial card that comes with the statue. I think shirtless Sephiroth is a second reason for the crazy price. Lol.

The statue comes in a box measuring approximately 29cm (L) x 20cm (W) x 24cm (H). All sides of the box are sealed and there is no flap to open the box "nicely" bleah.. That sucks as there is no best way to open but yet retain the box in top condition. Inside the box, there is another box containing the styrofoam which holds the statue parts.

Front side of the packaging box

Back side of the packaging box

Top and bottom sides of the packaging box bear the same image

One side of the openings has Sephiroth picture while Cloud picture is at the other side

Quite simple to assemble: 2 parts of the base, Cloud and Sephiroth bodies, their swords, and an FF VII signage

The base dimension is 35cm x 14.5cm. Unfortunately, there is nothing that actually hold the 2 parts of the base. You can put them close together but each part is still a separate piece that you can move apart. It does not give a very secure feeling when having the statue on display.

A very nice and realistic base to show damaged ground after intense fight

The bottom of the base is very smooth. There isn't even Square Enix or Made in China engravings

Cloud and Sephiroth are about 13-14cm tall. Each of them is only connected by 1 peg to the base which basically makes me very worried to display the whole piece which depicts their final battle in the game.

Quality-wise. this piece is very impressive. Despite being made in 1999, it is still impressive by today's standard: shadowing for the muscles, dirt effects on Cloud's shoes, the evidence of battle damage on the Buster Sword, and the details of Cloud's clothes. The faces and the expressions are not 'derpy' like Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie from FF VIII Transcendent Artist's Collection. The only imperfection is the paint used for Sephiroth's hair which feels cheap. Instead of giving a silvery colour, it is a blue-ish.

Can't see Sephiroth's Masamune

It should be called Sephiroth vs Cloud instead. The view is nicer from this side.

Metal plate bearing name of the statue

Don't know why Cloud is so grumpy. It is as if he is the enemy!

Cloud from the back

Look at the shading of the Buster Sword

Turn on the flash and look at the details of the battle damaged sword! Wow..

The iconic hair

Front and back view of Sephiroth

The realism of all the shoulder and arm muscles in motion

And that is his nipple! Impressive considering male nipples are something taboo in Japanese anime/manga/game lol

He is smiling! It is as if he is the protagonist.

If he can be this good looking, why do they need to make him look like a zombie in the game sia?

I actually bought this piece in March and what took me so long to post this is the insurance outcome. This item arrived DAMAGED!! Gosh!! I paid USD 1666 (including shipping) and I was really upset when it arrived with Sephiroth's hair broken to few pieces. Unfortunately, I bought this from this bastard eBay seller: pecel. The whole insurance process was so distressing and it took almost 4 months. After the claim was granted, he wanted me to send the statue back which means he wanted to get the money + the statue. What an asshole scammer. In his listing, he wrote no return. If he is genuine with the whole thing, he would ask me to send the item back right from the start, refund me, and settle his insurance claim on his own. But no.. he held my money hostage for 4 months and only after the insurance claim was granted, he demanded me to return the item. I am pretty sure if the insurance claim was rejected, he would not even bother to refund me or anything. I did not want to prolong the distress settling with this asshole so I just got it over and done with with USD 400 refund.

The part that I glued back :(