Sad birthday

Okay I am not trying to sound emo or negative here but I really am feeling down, sad, and emo even though today is my birthday. It is unusual because previously I always felt very excited and high for my birthday. Considering that I am at home to celebrate my birthday, I should even feel happier. I guess I am just naturally an emo and negative person. The thought of having to pack and fly back to my "normal" life on Sunday overshadows even this once-in-a-lifetime event. Birthday is a yearly thing but I will only be 26 years old once in my life right? Haha..

There are so many things I want to do when I am at home and 1 week is just too short! Bah.. My comic industry in Indonesia is going on a decline so I don't really have a lot of new manga to read. Amazingly, I am still struggling to finish reading these "few" mangas. How to even read one or two of the older series :( Sucks.. 

I still need time to put moth balls in my manga cupboard which is actually not as simple as it sounds. I have to take out literally thousands (about 1000+ manga.. not a few thousands!) so that I can put the mothballs starting from the most inside part. It will take at least an hour to me provided that I am not distracted and start reading the old titles to relive my childhood memories. My toy cupboard also needs some cleaning up and it will take me at least another 2 hours. This hobbies are killing me!! Lol. But no, I won't stop buying these things or else there is no point of me living.

Anyways, back to the birthday thingy, I have 642 "friends" on facebook and I only receive about 60 birthday wishes. What good "friends" I have. But I am being contradictory here. I would be happy with more wishes but I am quite tired of replying the 60+ insincere "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" with 60+ equally insincere "THANKS!!". Well usually I am also lazy to leave insincere birthday wishes so I receive less. Don't know whether it is a good or a bad thing. Anyway, I appreciate people so leave me longer sms-es or whatsapp messages to wish me a happy birthday. Even a short message on FB feels more sincere than a wall post. Anyway, who cares about all these fakery ba.. Oh ya by the way, even my dad did not wish me a happy birthday leh!! Haha..

When I was young, my goal was to be married when I am 25 years old. Perhaps, "childhood dream" is a more suitable word rather than goal. Haha.. In my youth, the goal slightly changed to either be married or to be dead by the time I am 25. Looks like both failed because here I am today as a 26 year old guy. It is time to be more realistic and set a more well-thought short and medium term goals. Haha.. I hope that I can get a girlfriend by 28 and then married by 30 :) These are my short and medium term goals.. And for the more ambitious goal is to lose 10 kg of my weight!! Yes, I have put on so much weight!!

Well no point of wishing myself a happy birthday because I am not feeling happy. Have a good rest tonight, myself! And for goodness sake, you are already super duper old!!