Ok I shall try to control myself with what I am writing today. I AM FEELING SUPER DUPER FURIOUS!!! BLEAH!! My whole experiment is in a shit now. I was expecting that after TEM today, I could see the fucking shell and that could sum up the first part of my project. The fucking shell was not there! My eyes were popping out for looking at the screen for 5 hours.. only to imagine myself seeing things.. Finger crossed and prayers said but nothing appeared! And what could be better? To complete my agony, I was told "Noone in this research group who did your project ever got A". Wow... Someone shoot me in the head please!! Really fuck!!

I am super pissed with all this fucking project seriously. I have no idea with what I did, what I am doing, and what I am supposed to do. Call me "not independent" or whatever but I just cannot work with lack of information. And I hate the fact that I still need to "conserve materials" and use some lousier less efficient method just because they are to poor to get better items.. I see no point of wasting my life centrifuging stuff if I can just use filter! So come on, just give me the fucking filter!

And lastly, I hate being treated as if I am doing MY project. It is NOT my project! I don't even wish to do this fucking project. It's just useless purposeless and hopeless...

I am thinking of leaving the project until Dec holidays. I think I should focus on my presentation and my exam. As it is right now, I am hating everything which is related directly or indirectly to my project.