I had a bad week... Hmm perhaps "terrible" sounds more appropriate. Sigh.. Firstly I am having problems with my internet connection. This is already the 7th day!! Sigh.. ITCare just sucks. I called them on Wednesday and the person told me to forward my case as "urgent". After hearing nothing for 1 day, I went down and I was told that it usually took 1-2days for them to assist any case. I was like what the fuck.. then told me urgent for what.. Sigh.. after exchange of shouting through the phone, I just gave up. OSA also sucks and cannot give any assistance. Wow I am really surprised with how one of top 30 uni in the world can have such a fucked up administration. What surprised me even more was the fact that satisfactory rating for this fucked up uni improved -_-

This made my FYP research delayed. Haiz.. But stressing over it is also useless. After meeting yesterday, there are changes to my project again. So yeah it's like my research is mostly wasted. Sigh.. Well I cannot protest actually. I have no idea what I wanna do or how long things will take so I shall just listen. Anyway I am very stressed. I promise to submit the draft for my proposal by the coming Friday o_0 and now I still have nothing to write...

I need to relax!! Haiz.. Seems like I am stressing myself because I want to rush through and hoping for easy cruise through my FYP.. Haiz.. It seems like failure is normal and success is miraculous. So yeah I need a miracle.. Sigh.. And Eli's homework is due in 3 days time.. I have given up on it and will resort to copying. But copy from who T_T sigh...

I am experiencing itchiness around my waist sigh. It is such an inconvenient location. So am I supposed not to wear any pants and underwear? Bleah.. There is one area that I keep scratching until it is wounded quite badly o_0 Thick application of prickly heat powder does not get rid off the itch. I am thinking to take antihistamines but I wonder whether it is a wise thing to do. Sigh... On a similar note, I think I am somehow allergic to my own sweat!! How can that be possible? Yeah I am also wondering... I think all the itch is because I run.. And the last time I ran, both of my arms were itching too. Please don't question my hygiene! I bathe twice daily ok LOL..

And Youth Olympic Game was just over.. To be honest, I felt a bit of regret not signing up as a volunteer. I seriously think it would be a great once-in-a-lifetime experience. Sigh.. I hesitated because of my project.. Buat after these 2 wks, I guess it makes no difference.. Not volunteering I also still cannot progress significantly sad...

Emo part 2

Grrr.. How unlucky can I be? I just checked my mail.. And guess what, I had a $50 voucher off for my handset. It was sent on 9th of July and it expired on 25th of July. Wow great.. FML! It's really quite a blow to lose $50 just like that...

And to make my feelings worse, I am burning with jealousy right now.. My sis is on her way to tour Europe. Wow great...

I am just an fucked up kid with a fucked up life..

Down again

It's just the beginning of the third week and I am really feeling down. The amount of schoolwork is just too much with the limited time I have, even after the fact that I have been on facebook etc less frequently. 2 nights were spent for Exco interview last week. But haiz.. just take it as one responsibility down eh?

Anyway my emo-ness started on saturday. CNBlue came to Singapore!! Oh yeah.. I was so eager to work to catch them. And guess what, I got door duty again. Fuck fuck fuck!! Haiz.. Why am I always being posted at doors when there are some celebs!! Haiz damn fucking shit! I am so disappointed. The condition inside the hall was loud and so much fun and filled with fans craziness. Haiz I want!! Looking the brightside, perhaps I was quite lucky to my door. At least I could hear the live singing (sound only T_T) through the emergency door. How that was possible I also wonder how since the door was tightly locked. Sigh.. I caught a glimpse of them during the rehearsal (yep, I swear that they didn't lip-synch! haha) but it was too difficult to see them due to the lighting. Before the event ended, I anyhow left my post to go inside and to see them awhile haiz. Sad... Now I am feeling worse when I bumped into their videos posted on youtube!! Grrr... How lucky those people were able to record etc and I was only at the door.. You know, this maybe my closest chance to attend a concert by a famous boyband. I mean at my workplace, it is sitting concert hall and it is thus quite civilised. I cannot imagine myself going to typical concert halls: must stand and jump and scream while being squeezed up down left write front back by crazy fans!!

Well, I am actually not a fan of them =x Haha.. But I have to admit that I like their songs. I came to know them while I was in Korea. There is one song which was played quite often at the cafes there.. Then I saw them on TV singing another song which was also ok for me. Then I realised that both songs are by the same group so I guess the group is pretty good ba.

 

The song that I like.. It's called "Love Light"

Okay it's time for some videos from the concert. I just picked 3 songs which I am more familiar with la lol

 

The fans had wrong pronounciation of "encore" eh? Lol

A proof that they sang live!! Haha..

My internet was down from saturday afternoon to sunday evening. I was sooo furious. I could not see the tutorials for this week (I am doomed!) and I could not do any search for my FYP also. Sigh.. I decided to do my Research Methodology tutorial and it just pissed me more and more. The teacher doesn't freaking teach anything!! I had to do "trial and error" until I get the numbers he provided magically appear. Sigh.. And guess what, I only finish 20% of the whole assignment -_-". I cannot do the same thing for the rest.

The Mass readings for yesterday were just apt for me. The second reading was about taking difficulties as God's ways to train his sons, afterall, which father does not train his son... Haiz.. The Gospel was the best! It just told me that Heaven is not guaranteed for me T_T Oh mianz.. But still, it doesn't make me don't want to die though.. I still feel that I rather die than continuing on with my purposeless life!! Grr

And today, I woke up early to laundry. I chionged for some of my literature search. Haiz.. Only the background info is more or less okay. Have yet to find or read the things directly related to the experiments =x Sigh... Now it's time for my tutorials then T_T

If only I have 48hrs a day.. Oh no.. if only I have a statistician friend to do my research methodology assignments.. and if only I have a chemist friend to tell me the reactions I need... or at least if only I have a librarian friend to find me the relevant reading materials haiz..

Year 4 finally...

Sigh.. This marks the coming of the end of my education. I am totally not looking forward to it.. I hate working life. I enjoy school life :D And university life is the best, especially with the freedom to skip lessons as and when I like it.

The first moment I saw the timetable, I was elated. 2 free days and 3 half days. Haha.. Wow!! Nice.. But it is all just a facade. Although there are only 3 modules this semester, the workload is just crazy. Haiz.. Pharmacotherapy is tough!! There is too much info. And to be honest, I think it's time for me to learn the drugs seriously and no longer just for exam purposes. And yeah I still have no time to do that. Research Methodology sucks. I just hate SPSS and all the bullcrap. There is an assignment given from the first day of the lecture. Sigh.. It will take me quite sometime.. Pharm Prac is the worst and crappiest module (well as always).. It is just so troublesome with all the nonsense. Bleah..

FYP has yet to start but I have felt unhappiness towards it even from the start. I have lots to curse about the balloting etc but oh well, as a believer of God, I believe whatever I got is His plan. And I am sure that would be the best for me. My supervisor seems to be good.. I hope we can clique well and we have similar working styles. I also hope the same thing with the grad student I would be working with.. There is a chemistry major student who is doing the exactly same project as me. I wonder whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. Sigh.. Anyway it is less than 1 month for the submission of the proposal. I am already very stressed. Up to this stage, I know nothing.. I don't know where to start. I don't know what I need to know. I don't know what I need to do. Basically I don't know anything! Next meeting will be on Thursday and I hope everything becomes clearer.

Oh well, I am feeling very sleepy and tired now. Had been having insomnia lately :( As usual, lack of sleep makes me a bit depressed and emo. I hate my classmates more and more. Haiz.. Sometimes I really think people should have more common sense. The whole stupid monograph thing all over again. Haiz.. 1 student can do 3-4pages and for 100 drugs, that means 300-400 pages thick! I rather hug my reference book and read from that. But for the sake of the selfish and brainless majority, I shall burn a few days of my life to reference the things sigh...

Moving on to better things, I just accompanied a friend of mine to attend a concert this evening. It was a vocal show accompanied by a piano. Well to be honest, it sounded very boring!! Haha.. Ironically, I actually enjoyed the show!! Haha.. The songs are not the typical boring boring classical opera songs. And I am really amazed (and jealous) with the vocals of the 2 singers. They were impressive! So yeah, it was good and not a waste of time yay! Definitely better than the guitar ensemble concert I watched last year XD

Final Fantasy IV (DS)

Wow another masterpiece by Square! Too bad it's in DS!! Waa.. I played the original FFIV and I seriously would like to replay it.. If only it's in PSP.. Haiz.. dunno why Square only halfheartedly made a remake! They should make it to be like FF Dissidia or Crisis Core!! Oh well, anyway, I am quite disappointed with the ending. The opening video is stunning (and I love the song!) but guess what they give as the ending: NO FMV!! OMGWTFBBQ!!!

Handphone Woes

This whole matter gave me headache for almost 2 weeks. It not only affected me but also my sister and my friends. Haha.. I keep asking for recommendations and they ended up getting pissed due to my indecisiveness. To be honest, I never found myself to be that indecisive before. Ironically, I didn't even think that much for more important decisions in my life eg: choosing whether to continue study in Singapore, choosing CCA, choosing JC, choosing uni course.

Anyway, the first hurdle was to decide whether I stayed with M1 or I hopped over to Singtel for $100 off my new handset. Haha.. My friend told me to stay with M1 for better customer service (which I agree!!) and per second billing. But few months back, M1 handset prices were ridiculously higher (up to $200+ difference) than Singtel. That was what tempted me to change since I thought I didn't really make so many phone calls. After much deliberation and reading people's experiences on online forums, I chose to stick with M1! Lately M1 prices are only within $50 from Singtel so I guess I rather pay more for the better service. After all I am a complainer and a noob so I would need a lot of help from the CSO. Lol.. I would be damn pissed if I am kept on hold and on hold..

Moving on to the bigger hurdle: what model to take! Again my indecisiveness made things worse. Initially, I wanted to get only Android and the latest ones! Price didn't matter!! After that my priority shifted to phones which support wi-fi and Flash browsing! Then it shifted to physical keyboard! Then I became anal about budget! But hey.. where is the camera? Lol.. Camera has always been my number #1 priority! I always consider it subconsciously. Haha.. I went through so many reviews and considered so many models.. Below is the list to let you know why I was so stressed

Sony Ericsson Xperia X10

Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 Mini Pro

Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 Mini

Sony Ericsson Vivaz Pro

Samsung Wave

Samsung Jet

Samsung Omnia II

HTC Wildfire

Iphone 3GS

Iphone 4

Sony Ericsson Satio

Sony Ericsson Hazel

LG Optimus

LG Lollipop

Motorola Flippers (don't remember the exact name)

The Xperia X10s are androids but unfortunately they don't support Flash so I striked them out. Since there were too many to consider, I decided that I should go to the shops to try the touch screen. I hate touchscreen so much because I am a heavy SMS user. I want to SMS quickly and preferable without looking at the screen. Samsung phones are out after I find the alphanumeric input is rather weird: 4 columns instead of the usual 3 making the 'buttons' smaller and making me missing the inputs. HTC is also out since there was no model to try on and I heard the battery is quite bad. I hate Apple and the reason IPhone came into the picture because I was thinking of buying it for my sister. She would then buy me a phone from Indo and we swapped. But IPhone 4 uses microsim which may not be available in Indo so yeah bye IPhone. At this point of time, I discovered that physical keyboard suits my need very well that's why I don't really consider IPhone.  Touch screen wise, only Nokia and Sony Ericsson phones can follow my pace of typing haha.. That's also why Satio came into the picture as well as LG Lollipop (nice flip design, nice colours) but unfortunately Lollipop lacks of one web capability which made me discarded that as an option. LG Optimus' touch screen was a nightmare for me (hard to aim and to press) so it was out.

And guess what phone I chose eventually: Nokia C6! Hell yeah! It was not even in my consideration before! Why did I finally choose that? The price was quite low $98, it has physical keyboard,  nice specs and nokia touch screen is okay for me. And after this my real hell began! Yeah.. 

I hate that phone in just less than 24 hours of using it. I could not bluetooth the contacts.. Contacts from my sim card turned out weird.. The gallery load time was like shit! The system was laggy and it actually hang once within less than 24 hours! I could not manage the content of the memory card via computer and I could not even install the Nokia programme to my com. I was going to demand an exchange and guess what: I discovered that it had a lousy speaker!! Bleah.. Dun even talk about smart phone if it cannot even be used for basic function of making phone calls! Not sure whether I got a faulty set or Nokia just sucks but I am glad that I can exchange to another model. I decided not to try my luck to get another set of C6 after meeting a friend who testified her Nokia phone went bonkers after just 1 month lol.. I am really thankful to M1 CSO (that justified my loyalty!!) in helping me to ensure that I could make an exchange..

I kinda regretted of not getting the LG Lollipop now.. It was $0 and I realised the most important feature for me is actually to call and to sms.. As long as can call and sms, other things are secondary :( Oh well since I can only change to something equivalent or more expensive, I considered Hazel ($98), X10 mini pro ($198) and Vivaz pro ($198). X10 mini pro was too mini and I had difficulty typing so yeah.. it's a no for me.. I settled on Vivaz Pro eventually. Hazel was too similar to my K800i.. and as much as I hate touch screen I thought I should try learning since maybe in the future, all phones would be touch screen XD and at least Vivaz Pro has the physical keyboard..

So yeah now the big question is: how happy am I with my Vivaz Pro?? The gallery load time is fantastic :) The keyboard + touch screen is ok :) And that's all. Haha.. The rest are minus points for me. The battery sucks.. It doesn't last even 2 days without wifi etc etc. The start up and the shutting down are quite slow. It used Symbian (and I come into conclusion that I fucking hate Symbian.. and since Symbian is made by Nokia, I will forever be hating Nokia). Thank goodness the Sony Ericsson programme could be installed to my com and it made the editing of the contacts less hell-ish. Since the load time and sms capability is ok, I guess I still can survive well ba..

But wait!! Lately it has problem recognising my simcard zz!! I don't know it's the simcard problem or it's the phone problem!! Roar!!! Why am I sooo unlucky!!! Haiz.. I am gonna check it out this weekend and see how for the updates.

So after all, I am quite regretful.. Perhaps I should just go for the Lollipop.. It's free, it's stylish, and it's fully keyboard. Haiz.. Looks like my K800i is still the best for me..

Last 2 weeks of holidays

Waaa I am late late late in updating my blog. Haha.. My new semester has begun! And I am still talking about my holidays here. Lol.. Basically after coming back from Korea, I had about 2 weeks left of my holiday. I think I was not being myself in these last 2 weeks. I am still in my touristy mood and I spent more than normally in Singapore haha..

Firstly, let me talk about movies. Yeah, when I came back, Nodame Cantabile movie: The Finale was already out. I watched that and as expected, it was kind of disappointing ending for such a nice series so far. The love story was pretty good (at one point of time, I was thinking that it would be nice to have a girlfriend too T_T) but the music and the songs were not of my taste. To make things worse, the humor was kinda lame.. Basically it failed to be on par with the first movie ba...

On another day, I had a movie marathon: The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Despicable Me, and Inception. The Sorcerer's Apprentice was not as bad as expected. My friend warned me not to watch that but I thought it was quite enjoyable. Kinda hate the main guy though.. and I think Percy Jackson was more entertaining and action-packed lol. Despicable Me was a disappointment. My friend insisted on me watching it because it was funny. To me, it was lame.. and story-wise: it was kinda pointless.. The highlight was Inception. It was really a genius piece of work. I expected to be lost and could not understand the story or caught the conversation. I did pretty well though. Haha.. The action was pretty cool but the best for me was the theme! Wow.. It was really cool to be playing with dreams, considering I am someone who often experiences vivid dreams. It is quite true that everytime we 'die' in our dream, we will wake up! Lol.. But in the movie, pain won't wake the people. For me, I wake up due to pain eg: when I dream of a dog biting my ass. Lol.. Still, it was a great show!! 

Secondly, there was matric fair. Hoho it was quite interesting ba.. But it was not like what I visualised. Lol.. Like hardly anybody was interested in my CCA so I was there really just to be there o_0 Well seeing some of the CCAs made me thinking of joining a sporty CCA since I don't need to focus on points anywhere. Oh well, I am still not that lucky. This is the 7th semester that my timetable will be clashing with archery!! Sigh.. Ah the only interesting thing about matric fair was there was this guy interviewing me about some financial advisory stuff. Not that I find the interview was interesting, the interesting was that this guy actually remembered me! Haha.. When I came in for the second day (which was actually 3 days after I was interviewed), he still remembered me and actually said "Woa everytime I see you, you are carrying different things". Lol.. Ok la... Not important but I think it was quite nice of him to still acknowledge me. He could just have not given me a damn, after he got my survey form already ma =x

Next thing was HANDPHONE! But this would be a very looong story haha.. So I think I will write in a separate post.. Perhaps I end this post with my happiness that I was spared from moving to a new room this time around! Hehe.. Sooo lucky and sooo happy! It saved me one day of moving out and moving in. Lol

Reflection...

This is long overdue haha.. But I have been planning to write a long essay about my thoughts and reflection after my Korea trip. It was quite a good trip and I learn to see things in a different light now. And I guess so far my life is not so bad afterall. Well perhaps it is still not an ideal, but it could have been worse.

About APPS

To be honest, it was quite a disappointment. I think I got nothing beneficial out of it. I also did make that many friends. Well my group was relative okay. The problem was the programme line-up was rather bad. What was the point of grouping us when most of the activities were not group-based? Oh well.. Anyway it was partly my fault also. I came with the wrong mindset: just go to enjoy Korea. Haha.. Anyway, I don't see what the point in making friends if after that there  is no more contact? Oh well, then I remember that sometimes God just place several people in our lives for just that short period of time. After that then life goes on as usual. Kinda ironic since I guess I make quite good friends with a few people there.. But oh well, that's reality of life. If the friendship continues, then it's good. If it doesn't, then it's okay. The memory stays. Haha..

APPS also made me realise that I am still proud being an Indonesian. I found it akward to say "I am from Singapore". I was more comfortable saying "I am from NUS" or "I am studying in Singapore but I am an Indonesian". Haha... Anyway the Indonesians made me proud with their items during international night. I think it is still the country with the richest culture in this part of the world hehe.. :)

It was also quite ironic that despite Singapore has only 1 organisation, we were the most 'separated' group. Yah, I guess pretty much the mindset of the people. Everyone just came for holiday. I found it ironic that people from other countries (and they were from different cities, different uni, etc) made friends with one another and were more united. I don't even know my juniors! Haha.. Oh well, cannot be bothered anyway. But it was kinda pathetic when someone asked "Ah do you know this person? He/she is in the same group?" then to answer "Erm.. I am not very sure who that is" and to be replied "Eh? I thought all of you are from the same uni". Haha..

About Pharmacy

As much as I hate the condition here, I guess it is not much different with other countries. It is like an international standard that nobody listens to pharmacists, especially in hospital. Even in the more  pharmaceutically advanced countries like Australia. Haha.. More surprisingly, South Korea already had a separation of prescribing and dispensing rights since 1990s! Wow.. Really unexpected for an Asian country to do such thing. It is really interesting to find how they can convince and change the Asians "doctor is the best" mindset. But hey, I think Singapore should not fight for that. Why? Because there is no point of separating here. Separation only benefits the retail pharmacies and retail sector has not much room to grow here anyway. Haha.. And with separation of the rights, there is a problem currently: doctors insist that only drugs in the script are to be dispensed. Meaning if a doctor wrote a particular brand name, pharmacists should not offer generic bla bla bla.. To the countries who yet to separate the rights, they should foresee this problem and start tackling this first eh??

And no matter what, to improve the image of the profession, I still think that community is still the best avenue! Haha.. Unfortunately, many are more interested in doing clinical stuff in hospital. Yeah there is more prestige bla bla bla, but what's the point of hiding comfortably there? Public don't see what you do and don't see your relevance! So please! If you want people to know/be aware/respect, go do community! Then people directly know how you help them with minor ailments and drug info bla bla bla. It's rubbish to do awareness campaign once a year then hide in the hospital for the rest of 364 days.. And that's the first step to convince the public of pharmacists role and capabilities. After then can talk about separation rights.. or getting some prescribing rights bla bla bla.. Otherwise, just dream on~~~

About Korea

I think Korea is a very interesting and advanced. Their trains ran very fast (when I saw the scenery, I would get dizzy because the trains moved faster than my eyes focused on an object) and I wonder whether the MRT here will ever operate at such speed. Haha.. But then during their peak time, the crowds were crazy. It was nothing like in Singapore! It was really body to body contact! Perhaps as bad as Japan? Lol.. Anyway, as gracious as the Koreans are (they actually form queue at the carriage doors during peak hours), once the doors open, they become vicious too. I was quite shocked because during one occasion, I was already like the last person against the door. A few seconds later, guess what, I was pushed and 2 more people managed to squeeze behind me.. Crazy! Phew... still, it is a good eye opener that the human traffic jam in Singapore is not that bad.. But well, I think here has more disgusting odours.. so yeah, even without close body contact, the MRTs are already quite sickening during peak hour.

The announcement in the buses and trains (at least in Seoul) is in English and in Korean. In Busan, some train stations have announcement in Mandarin and Japanese too! Wow... Yeah, this makes it very friendly for foreigners. The irony is: only the minority understands English in Korea. So it is like imagine in Singapore, suddenly there are announcement in French or some other languages that is not normally used. Must create a lot of unhappiness and akwardness among the locals I guess.

I also like the weather. It is hot because it is summer now. The sun is scorching but I don't sweat! That's why I like it.

Overall, Korea is a good place ^^ Lol.. I don't mind staying there. I only have 2 biiig issues. Firstly: they hardly speak English! Ouch.. If English is more commonly used there, I am sure the nation can advance even more rapidly since it would become even easier for expats to move in. Secondly: the food. Haha.. I just cannot take in all the vegies.. and to be honest, it is quite boring. Go to every different places and it is still the same food! Lol..

I would definitely love to come back to Korea. There are so many places that I have yet to visit: Jeju Island, Lotte World, Everland, Shooting places of Winter Sonata and Daejanggum, Fortress, etc. Sigh.. Perhaps in winter next time then?? Haha then I can experience snow as well as skiing or snowboarding. Must be cool! Haha..

About my own life

I have been cursing my own life so far. Haha but after comparing with other people, I guess mine is not that bad after all. My Malaysian friend dreaded the thoughts of serving his 3-year bond in some forest/jungle that he has no say in choosing. I dreaded the thought of serving my 3-year bond which will hinder me from pursuing higher education or going elsewhere. Lol.. Coming to salary, his pay would be 1/2 of mine. But I complained that I got so much also I had nothing to spend on here! Haha.. The hospitals there are not as modern but I find that Malaysia has many more opportunities for industry!! The grass is always greener on the other side eh? Haha...

I feel so stupid and self-inadequate as a final year pharmacy student. Well, seeing people from other countries, it seems that everyone is equally inadequate. I guess most of the knowledge will be learnt through working experience though.  However, I applaud students from other countries for their bravery and enthusiasm, especially those from non-English speaking countries. It must not be easy for them during the patient counselling stuff.

At Busan, I stayed at my friend's place. She is already working. Pay-wise I guess it would be roughly the same as what I would get. But seeing her place, haiz..., I feel so lucky. I think with the same rental fee, I can get a better QOL here lol.. No offense but that is really my personal opinion.

So as much as I hate my own life, perhaps this trip has opened my eyes. Things could be worse... of course things could be better too... There are always things to be grateful for and there are always things to dream of too ^^