Jeez school has not even started and I already got vexed over modules. Sigh.. It will be my last elective and it is just a fantastic closure of the electives that I have been choosing. Hmm.. Idealism of a freshee aside, it is unfortunate that I have to 'waste' my education opportunities for things which fit into my timetable, instead of the things I really need/want.
The interesting modules that I want to take always have a group project component. Thus, it is quite hard for me to do alone. I failed to make new friends in my Chinese classes so it is just impossible for me to get a good group if I another solo thing. Lol.. As much as I think that I am a warm and friendly person, I am still too shy and cold (or perhaps arrogant?) to make new friends. This time again I cannot take the module which I am interested in for the same reason. Perhaps it is a pity for me to choose such a shitty course full of shitty people: those who only want to get good grades (I hope you fail to get your good grades) or those who cannot stand being alone and take what other people are taking. Basically people with no integrity.. no interest.. no nothing whatsoever. Well, of course there are people who have but unfortunately their interests lie very differently from me. Aaah.. Indeed being independent is the right attitude in the world filled with assholes and shits. I wonder why it is so hard for me to find someone with similar interest, attitude, style, etc.. The ordinary sucks and I don't want to be ordinary..
As much as I hate the things I cannot change (aka other people, environment, etc), I hate myself for one thing: being so stupid. My dad is having gout and now he is taking allopurinol, statins and fibrates. I learnt these stuffs but I had no idea what they do specifically or how they are to be taken bla bla bla.. Basically I am wondering what I have learnt for the past few years. I am just ill suited to do things related to other people lives.. Aaah.. fast forward to 5 month ahead, I will just be screwed for 6weeks in god-knows-which hospital I will be sent to.
Bah looks like I am falling to a self-curse mode again.. My chest is heavy and I won't be surprised if my stones will break or crack tomorrow. I can feel the bad energy vibrating and resonating through myself.. It is slowly sucking my life.. Bleah...
The interesting modules that I want to take always have a group project component. Thus, it is quite hard for me to do alone. I failed to make new friends in my Chinese classes so it is just impossible for me to get a good group if I another solo thing. Lol.. As much as I think that I am a warm and friendly person, I am still too shy and cold (or perhaps arrogant?) to make new friends. This time again I cannot take the module which I am interested in for the same reason. Perhaps it is a pity for me to choose such a shitty course full of shitty people: those who only want to get good grades (I hope you fail to get your good grades) or those who cannot stand being alone and take what other people are taking. Basically people with no integrity.. no interest.. no nothing whatsoever. Well, of course there are people who have but unfortunately their interests lie very differently from me. Aaah.. Indeed being independent is the right attitude in the world filled with assholes and shits. I wonder why it is so hard for me to find someone with similar interest, attitude, style, etc.. The ordinary sucks and I don't want to be ordinary..
As much as I hate the things I cannot change (aka other people, environment, etc), I hate myself for one thing: being so stupid. My dad is having gout and now he is taking allopurinol, statins and fibrates. I learnt these stuffs but I had no idea what they do specifically or how they are to be taken bla bla bla.. Basically I am wondering what I have learnt for the past few years. I am just ill suited to do things related to other people lives.. Aaah.. fast forward to 5 month ahead, I will just be screwed for 6weeks in god-knows-which hospital I will be sent to.
Bah looks like I am falling to a self-curse mode again.. My chest is heavy and I won't be surprised if my stones will break or crack tomorrow. I can feel the bad energy vibrating and resonating through myself.. It is slowly sucking my life.. Bleah...
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