Spoilt ending of a perfect holiday :(

This is the very first RECESS week which I am able to rest ever since JC days.. Wooohooo.. School system has to be changed to what I am experiencing right now. It is okay to work hard and batter the students with numerous tests and projects as long as they are during the school term, but not during the break. I really only slacked and played during the break.. and trust me, that feels fantastic!! Hehe..

On Wednesday night I actually watched a guitar concert for my SoM module.. As expected, I will never be able to appreciate guitar concert. When it plays the melody, it is just too soft and not interesting. It is better off as an accompaniment. Even though the place was at UCC (isn't it cool?), the concert hall itself was quite small. Jeez.. I think those concerts at JC would be much more meaningful (larger audience) and more fun (most of the audience would be own friends). Haha.. not so much a regret of not joining harmoc in uni.. Since the concert was bad, I was so excited to write the review!! Haha... Done :) But I did not manage to compose any single shit for the MIDI assignment.. Haiz haiz..

My plan to earn money is ruined. It is unbelievable that people were not replying to the job training to be conducted during the recess week! I have no idea what these people were doing la.. Haiz.. I should have just ponned lessons few weeks back to attend the training.. Sob sob T_T

By the way, the weather was also great during the great week. It was not hot at night. Instead I was even using the blanket ^o^.. Friday marked the last day of the holiday (since weekends are always holidays) and the moment it passed 12am to Saturday, the weather turned awful... What a great sign of the omen to come. I hardly could sleep that night because of the heat. The heat still continues on until today..

Since Saturday was regarded as not a holiday anymore, I decided to get back to my schoolwork. I printed my notes and I checked my CA results.. Wtf.. It was bad.. as expected.. but to be honest.. it was not as bad as my expectation, considering I was at an insane state during the test since I could not get my PSP. Haiz.. I will not be able to score well for the module already.. I did better last sem and eventually I could not even get an A.. Haiz.. I see many A+s around me so I suppose my grade was higher than expectation because of the nursing students.. For the final grade, when the curve is split, I shall be doomed.

Med chem is also a killer. I did tutorial 1, I was left half dead. I was surprised that the people chosen to do were actually able to do the questions quite well. That means I am just one of the dumb asses.. I forgot on how to do naming and drawing resonance structure -_-.. Adding salt to my pharmaco wounds, words like "suphonyl urea" and "glibenclamide" did ring a bell in my head. But I could not figure out where they were in the pharmaco notes. And it was only 2 weeks after the test. Haiz.. I can imagine in next May that in the hospital, I would be rude and cursing my preceptor. Most likely I will get a sucky one anyway.. so no point in being nice to someone who will fail you anyways. Ah, rewind back to the tutorial, tutorial 2 totally killed me and my drive to mug the rest of the module.. Aaargh.. die liao.. The drug modification etc is waaay too difficult for me. I only hoped that the teachers were having a bad day when they set the CA questions. Please make them extremely fucking hard and slaughter all the students. I hope those who are damn good in memorising only would get the proper grade for what they truly deserve! They gained too much advantage in the course which emphasised heavily on making walking MIMSes and Martindales instead of creating future professional. Die you DIE DIE DIE!!! MWAHAHAAHAHAHA....

And I am looking forward to the eLearning week. Call it whatever you like but for students, when they do not need to go to school, it only means one thing: HOLIDAY ^^

EMO no more ^o^ :D :)

MWAHAHAHAHAHA...

I finally got my PSP MWAHAHAHAHA.. After the long search on Saturday, I was almost giving up and already decided just to buy the limited edition if it were to reach Singapore shore.. Lucky, I did not have afternoon nap so I was online until late afternoon. I should have an outing at 5pm too.. But loo and behold.. at about 430+ the new stock just came in. Oh yeah!! Haha.. So lucky that the price only went up to $315.. If it was $350 no way I would buy even if there was stock.. In total I almost spent $400 for my PSP. But I am soooo happy hahahaha...

Even though I got it on saturday, I only started playing on Monday. Lol.. Because I had no game and I need to take from my friends. Initially I intended on passing the PSP to my friend for him to input the games.. but he did not want o_0 just because he did not wanna waste electricity.. Woa.. what a good reasoning.. Anyway, I got my games yesterday.. And hehe.. I AM SO HAPPY!! LOL...

I went with my cousin to Cafe Cartel on Sunday.. What a bloody damn restaurant I have to say.. Next time, just order things on promotion or things which have pictures on the menu. I ordered crispy ribs and chicken chop combo. It cost $9.80 if I am not wrong and guess what I got? 1 bloody stick of rib and 1/3 of normal serving of chicken chop.. OMG!! My cousin bought the ribs on promotion ($13.80) and she got 8 stick of ribs!! I don't know how to describe the size of the ribs so I just counted on the number of bones Lol.. Her husband's sirloin stick was out of stock and he also ordered another ribs.. He gave me 3 sticks.. my cousin gave me 3 sticks.. So in total I ate 7 sticks.. O_0 They also did not want to eat the bread (I took and cut one whole piece of the long bread) so I ended up super bloated! Lol.. Dinner was skipped too.. Haiz.. fat fat fat..

It is a good holiday.. There is only 1 CA so it really feels like a holiday haha.. Unfortunately, good times pass so quickly.. and I have to start to plan my time carefully.. I finished my part on SDL.. I guess I shall book room for my CCA tomorrow and start on my revision.. I have my UCC training on Thursday (kaching kaching.. money will start to come in! hehe). Ah ya.. I die die will attend any random concert this week also.. and hopefully I can anyhow finish the MIDI composition..

I shall take a nap now.. And tonite, I must remember to register for my Sony 1 year Warranty!!

^0^

Mid sem...

Fiuh.. it's finally mid-sem break.. let me recap what happened to me for the past 6 weeks. This half semester was my busiest in my 2 years in NUS. Haha.. I am pretty amazed that all my weekends were used for school activities (rag, red cross welcome tea, legs & paddles, runNUS, and first aid course). This weekend before the mid-sem break if my first weekend this sem at which I can just slack and laze around hahaha...

Another record breaking feat is I skipped NONE of the 8am lecture haha.. Although I came a bit late for the past 2 weeks, I was only 15 minutes late. In my previous semesters, I could come late for almost half an hour. Haha.. No matter how tired I felt in the morning, I have been succesful in waking up. So yah, perhaps it is just natural if I attribute it to my stone.. After all, it is believed to be able to make me more full of energy. Haha..

Okay, one good record was made. But 2 bad records were created haha... For my elective, I attended mere TWO lectures so far!! Lol.. On top of that, I skipped a total of 3 (out of 5) tutorials for various modules in this sem. Haha.. 1 was valid because I needed the extra hours to mug.. While the other 2.. to be frank, I just find patho tutorials to be useless.. So no point in attending also haha.. Well, I am planning to skip all the patho tutorials altogether haha...

I slept pretty late last night so I was a bit cranky in the morning. I was so pissed with the lengthy lab briefing this morning. Haha plus one friend was keep complaining about the same thing also. Haha.. in the bustling practical activities, I still managed to feel so sleepy hahaha... I managed to survive the lecture also because I was doing my lab report for the coming weeks. Hmm..

My mood was lifted up a bit despite my failed hunt for PSP (I checked many websites, read many forums, called several shops, only to managed 1 shop with my desired item but the item was not modifiable..). Perhaps it is because holiday is coming? Haha.. The weather is also so good for the past 2 nights ^o^ Good nitez..

Note: I am super pissed when I realised Hari Raya falls on mid-sem break.. That's 1 free day gone.. In addition, a friend told me that CNY next year will also fall on mid-sem break.. Wow.. that will be another 2 days gone.. What an unlucky academic year...

Haiz.. I don't know I am being so angry.. Is it because I do not get the PSP per se? Or is it because I hate myself for not going Orchard on Saturday? Or is it because I hate my friend for not helping me buy? Haiz.. No matter what the reason is, my anger is killing me.. Anger is exothermic.. Worse, I cannot channel the heat outwards.. It is kept within my body and slowly is killing me.. I am really going mad.. I cannot believe that I managed to stay emo for almost 1 week..

Haiz.. I feel better today.. I have given up on my search for PSP.. Is it because I am too tired already? Or is it because I am too busy today? Or is it because I learnt that there is Lithium Carbonate to help my mood swings? Well, I certainly hope it is not because of the first two.. Because next week is school break! I will have too much excess energy and I will have nothing to do.. So my idle thoughts will bring me back to psp.. AAARGH!!

Anyway, there is one interesting thing. I asked a friend to help me search for game shop online. He found one game shop which says "Call Christ at xxxxxxxx" and he told me "Faster go call Jesus Christ!" LMAO! Too bad the website was last updated on 1st september.. and the website does not look to convincing.. so ya.. I give up on my dream already..

I shall just mug med chem and med chem and med chem for the break.. Wow.. What a great break it will be :'(

emo update..

I am still in deep shit.. I wasted the whole night surfing rubbish on the net until 330.. Too bad the weather was so shit that I was awake at 830! Grr.. I intended on sleeping for like 8-10 hrs today but that was not the case..

Anyway, I was surfing the net to get more info regarding PSP. I have reached the conclusion that I will not get PSP after all.. The only ways I can get is:
1) The old version (which is no longer in production) price will drop..
2) The new version will be hacked soon..
3) I buy in Indonesia..

Option 3 is the most likely.. Since my cousin will be coming here this weekend, I thought I could ask my parents to buy from me.. But oh well, after friends being assholes, my mum is an anal too!! Haiz.. fuck la.. Meaningless life... Give me free day also I have nothing to do.. I have money also there is nothing I can spend on.. Ah ya.. forgot to write this yesterday. I wanted to buy FF Dissidia trading arts set.. But I think the stuff is not in singapore yet..

SHIT SHIT SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!
I shall buy the bloody $350 la...

Sayonara...

Haiz.. it is very sad.. but I really have to say bye bye to my PSP already.. Not only that the shop recommended to me no longer does modification.. not only that there is no stock.. today the price of the PSP has gone up by $50.. Jeez... And to my friend who did not wanna help me buy on saturday, yes.. goodbye to you too.. Let me assure you that your unhelpfulness is as good as killing me already.. Congratulations..

Haiz.. This is damn ridiculous.. But I think I am on my way to IMH soon.. Just because I cannot get my PSP, my body and my mind really feel like exploding.. Im too full of anger and disappointment.. I cannot be bothered about school or anything anymore.. I lose my hope and drive to live also.. Haiz.. Life is so dull and boring. I am getting sick of Cabal and facebook applications.. So I was really looking forward to a PSP-filled holiday.. but now.. I really have no idea how I am going to spend my holiday.. Damn sian..

I went to dentist just now.. I went to HMV.. oh la la.. FF Dissida game is damn bloody expensive. My eyes almost popped out when I saw $81+ on the price tag.. Holy cow!! I checked out Taka too. It was cheaper $55 haha... Still so bloody expensive.. I always thought that Taka price includes 1 or 2 free games. I am super wrong.. In fact, I have to buy at least 1 game from them if I wanna get my PSP from them.. Ckckck.. Considering the damn shop increased the price by $50 already, I think it is not bad to buy at Taka.. add the $50 for the game.. Though that will mean I am spending $350 just for a game.. Aaargh!! That is super dumb!!

My dentist told me if I am happy with my teeth already, the braces can be removed at the next visit.. Haha.. Should be a good news eh? Still.. that did not help to lift me out of my depression.. haiz.. Even the magical effect of sugar+saturated fats+cholesterol which helped me yesterday can no longer create a miracle today..

Fiuh.. thank God it's no lesson day tomorrow.. I guess I can slack a bit.. Although I really have no idea what I can do anyway.. Lab is a bit jialat but oh well, what is Thursday for? Haha..

Weather is bloody hot too..
Grr.. everything seems to be wrong in my life..
I hope I can quickly leave this world..
I hope I can die peacefully in my sleep ^o^
I feel like a zombie anyway.. no purpose and no motivation to continue my life..

Emoooooo

The break has finally arrived.. But I am in awful mood to welcome it.. CA was over today and it really feels like it is a holiday already.. I am already planning which lessons to skip..

The CA again proves that it does not take much to be a star student in my course.. You just need a big memory capacity.. No need to understand anything and just memorise every single word in the notes.. Wow.. the questions were like 1 word (name of the drugs) and just need to know the PK, actions, uses, adverse effects and that's it.. The phrasing is exactly the same like in the notes.. Hmm hmm.. Too bad I am not such a good memoriser and I was a gone case.. In fact, from question 16 onwards, my mind already went blank.. I did not have time to review the later chapters so yeah bye bye..

Some people say my face is so black today.. Haiz.. yah.. I am already in a self-destruct mode.. Haiz.. I am really regretting that I did not go down to buy the PSP on Saturday.. At least I would have gotten my PSP.. Now I get nothing.. no PSP and study also gone case.. Haiz.. I know I should not be angry to my friend. It is not his fault anyway.. But I seriously am sad that he did not help me buy on saturday.. on sunday he could input the game and today I can play already.. haiz haiz.. I guess I am just in search of a scapegoat just to vent my anger and frustation :'(

Haiz.. it was such a perfect plan to buy my PSP today.. Now what do I have? I have a stupid fire drill tonight.. And I have nowhere to run.. It is damn irritating when the announcement says the time is between 8 - 10. Usually they will say the time specifically so that I can run away just before the damn thing started.. Grr... Wanted to run away to Orchard but I was kinda lazy because tomorrow I need to see my dentist and that means I will be at Orchard already.. Damn!

Haiz.. emo emo.. mood swing.. hormonal imbalance.. everything is beyond my control.. Damn sad.. I just wanna die.. Really sick of school... my future.. and my life as a whole.. Even dying may not be help because I am on the expressway to hell.. Jeez... I regret being created in the first place.. Oh God.. Why don't you create me as an angel instead?

Road to Doom

Tomorrow I am having a CA and here I am now slacking and wasting time to blog. I am getting more and more unmotivated as a student.. I feel like I am in a wrong course.. And I am studying all the useless stuff.. Haiz.. How can things be useful when I cannot even remember T_T I am done with the first round of reading.. I can hardly recall what the topics are.. It is almost impossible to even recall the drug names or even to spell them.. So do not even try to remember the mechanism of actions, adverse effects, and indications.. Jeez.. I know I am poorly prepared.. but I am just too tired with the useless brain work.. This will be my first (hopefully will be the last) badly prepared test.. Oh well, I know I will do quite badly.. but still I will be sad when the results come out....

CCA is as busy as ever.. And frankly, this time I do not hate CCAs that much.. I hate school more T_T Anyway on Wednesday, the CG was ruined because of one guy.. OMG.. I am soo gonna scold him.. Haiz.. Spoilt my Wednesday.. But fiuh.. now I guess I will try to tell him nicely first.. If it does not work, I will not hesitate to publicly humiliate him.. Something I since long never do haha... Thursday was gone just like that since my CCA meeting ended at 11 haha... People say I was so fierce when giving announcement. oops.. Lol.. I thought I am always fierce!

Anyway, my first aid course finally ended yesterday and I passed!! Yay!! Haha.. The theory test was as difficult as NUS exam... I was shit scared of bandaging but luckily the tester felt that CPR is more important than bandaging.. in the sense that Singapore is so safe.. if there is bleeding/fracture, before the first aider finishes the bandaging, the ambulance would have arrinved first LOL! So ya, we were all allowed to choose whatever bandage to show him. Haha..

I discover that cca points for first aid duty is counted as CIP. Hence I need to clock at least 30 hours to get 5 points.. Hmm I really hope I get the 5hr block on 21st of Oct.. Haha.. Besides getting experience, the souvenir (thumbdrive and microfibre towel) is soo appealing haha..

My PSP was finally in stock a few days ago.. But unfortunately, it is already out of stock again today.. Ahh. I am very sad.. One reason why suddenly I don't feel like reading my notes for the second time tonite.. I hope after the torture tomorrow, I can treat myself by playing game in the evening tomorrow.. Arrgh.. sad la T_T But on the bright side, I guess I get what I want! I am unsure whether I should get PSP or not.. especially since I discover that most of the games are re-port-ed from older consoles.. And most nice rpg games are already completed with my PS as well as my emulator. So I am not gonna play again haha.. The fact that there is no stock when I wanna buy suggests that it is better for me not to spend.. But still.. hix hix.. I WANT TO PLAY FF DISSIDIA!!!

I guess that's all.. I am tired.. I guess I will just try to sleep early and peacefully tonight.. I do not even know what time the paper starts tomorrow.. I am seriously unmotivated for tomorrow... Aiya die then die la.. at least my course offers 100% employment anyway.. Curse me!! Wrong course.. fuck fuck fuck..

Signs of stress

When my throat feels dry..
When my body feels hot..
When I am craving for bubble tea..
When I am drinking so much water..
When I start having expensive western meal quite often..
When my fingers are itchy to buy chips..

THEY ARE ALL OBVIOUS SIGNS THAT I AM BLOODY STRESSED!!!!!!!!
And all will lead to the widening of my tummy :'(

Haiz.. I keep having the urge to skip this lecture or skip that practical sigh.. Luckily I did not skip today's practical.. I managed to copy the tutorial I skipped yesterday during a lecture today.. Haiz.. My lecture notes are empty while I see my friends are full of scribbles.. Haiz.. I do not really understand what is going on in the tutorial.. I am completely confused on the kidneys.. I have finished my Science of Music tutorial.. But I do not freaking understand the notes.. The subsequent topics are getting more confusing.. Haiz..

It's wednesday tomorrow.. It is the start of my CCAs.. That means I am running out of time to study for my CA on monday.. I aim to at least finish my lab report tonight.. I think I will be too lazy to study after that :'( Bleah!!

Even game makes me so pissed off.. Why are people stealing my woods and rocks? Jeez.. Bloody shit la.. Game also wanna steal..

Aiya.. bad day la.. stress stress stress... I really have no life this semester. I will have to miss my good friend's bday celebration this Friday.. AAARGH!! That will be the THIRD 21st party I miss out since the semester starts.. Haiz sad la... All is retarded.. Dunno how I can lift my mood up.. No thing and no people seem to be able to help me..

No time!!!

Fiuh... 1 crazy period was just over. I am so thankful that I survived through the CA this afternoon. I hardly had time to study last week with my CCA (I reached PGP back at 11pm on Thursday) and my First Aid course in the weekends. Regardless of the CA, I am just so happy that it is over!! Yay..

Angklung was crazy on Thursday! Due to space constraint, we decided to have the practice at PGP. That would be the first and the last time. It was freaking shit to carry all the heavy stuff to and fro from YIH to PGP and vice versa. Haiz.. Can break my backbones... Damn heavy! Because of the CCA, I made studying time by skipping patho tutorial. Woo.. lucky I did that.. My group got a shit tutor.. Lucky I did not go.. Otherwise confirm I would be fuming after the tutorial.. Hehe.. I guess after this, I will just skip all the tutorials all together. They are useless anyways..

First Aid course was quite good. Hehe.. I learnt a few new things hehe.. I always think it was quite easy to practice CPR on the dummy.. But the freaking dummy's mouth is so small. Haha.. Blow blow blow until my lungs burst liao.. Haha.. There will be an exam this Saturday. I am freaking out for the bandaging practical. There are so many bandages to learn from.. Haiz.. I hope I will not fail.. Will be damn paiseh. Haha.. Oh ya, good thing there were like 4 other indonesians.. I felt quite lonely and loner haha.. Actually there were few year 1 pharmacy students.. But erm.. I don't really like them.. so who cares? Lol..

Haiz the clock is ticking fast.. I am lagging behind my school work. Again, I skipped a tutorial this morning. Meaning, I have a catching up work to do. Haiz.. Worse, another CA is coming in 6 days time.. And there is a lab report to be completed by this Friday.. Waa.. where got time!! I just printed Science of Music tutorial and new notes and I am terribly doomed.. I cannot freaking understand what is happening. Geez.. I have to chiong again for the tutorial this Wednesday.. and for the CA after the break.. Aaargh.. haiz haiz..

Oh school things aside, I am still dreaming over my PSP lol.. I really wanna play FF Dissidia.. I want to change my desktop wallpaper. Too bad the FF Dissidia wallpapers I found from the official website are not to my liking.. I like the dark colours.. so I was hoping that the psp skin is also available for desktop.. Unfortunately, it is not the case haha.. I asked the shop again whether the psp will be coming within 2 weeks time (my mid sem break!!) and the reply was "hopefully!!" haha.. So I am reallly hoping that it will be the case :)

Lost

I finally succumbed to the dark side.. Today I came horribly late for lecture. It was like I left my room when the teacher started teaching already. Lol.. I missed 8 slides or about there.. I just hope that it will not be a habit. On top of that, after 3 weeks of fasting from junkie and expensive food, I finally lost it to Subway.. Though I bought the cheapest option possible (cold cut trio! veggie delight is not included in the option haha). The red wine vinegar sauce was available.. add that with the green chilli and woow... straight away I went to toilet haha..

The reason I succumbed to Subway was my blood donation drive duty. Haha.. I had a great time.. To be honest.. I was sian at the beginning.. But in the end, I felt that I did something so that gave a good feeling. I expected a crazy lunch peak hour.. unfortunately what I got was peak hour all the way until the closing time haha.. I guess everyone had an early Wednesday. It was tiring to stand for 6 hours but I guess preceptorship has given me the "foundation" lol.. a pair of strong legs to sit for long periods wakakaka...

I was stationed at the worst part.. Between the slowest moving Hb test and long blood donation queue haha.. The Hb test queue was fed by the people after medical screening.. so when the 2 doctors were on duty.. omg.. there were not enough seats.. I had to add seats.. and arranged people to sit until so confusing.. Wah.. at the worst period, there were more than 20 people in the queue lol.. But not bad.. at least I learnt something: my crowd control skill is not bad hahaha..

A few memorable experiences:
1) Couples and friends who came in pairs were the most irritating people. They did not want to move their butts if they had to be separated to different row (even though that means 1 in front of the other only). Wth la.. There were really shortage of seats and space and everyone really had to move the moment the next chair is empty.

2) There was one oh-so-omg bimbo.. She was so lazy to move her butts and complained dunno dunno what.. Got say things like "I am here out of goodwill to donate" to her friends etc.. Then after Hb test.. unfortunately she did not pass the station. Wakaka.. I should not laugh but then.. who ask her mouth to be that big lor -_-

3) 1 medicine student who came back twice. Haha.. he had to go for his lessons so he returned to queue at the Hb test (longest queue) again. I am glad he still remembered me haha and asked me where he should queue lol.. Basically he queued 2x so I was quite impressed that he still wanted to donate.. Interestingly, he asked me whether I am year 1 wakaka...

4) There was another guy.. a combination of cute+handsome omg I am so jealous!! Haha.. Since he was a first timer, there was this auntie who took photo of him.. Zomg.. Out of so many first time donors, she only took photo of this guy wakaka...

5) There was one guy who was trying to explain to this PRC girl about why she had to wait for the Hb test (she got pricked already and she was asked to wait). Woah.. for once my scientific knowledge is helpful haha...

6) I did a mistake.. but lucky this PRC guy was so nice.. I thought he was going to queue for the Hb test when he actually was telling me that he just did the test.. So I brought him to the wrong queue and his order was cut by a few people.. Lucky he did not seem to be agitated at all haha..

7) I saw many friends.. Haha.. And some of them faint/giddy lol.. But I was so happy to see someone from my jc og last time lol.. He still remembered me and a bit of chit chat with and old friend is always good. Haha..

Well it was tiring but fulfilling day.. I am seriously very impressed.. Many Singaporeans are very generous.. I believe that there is no more generous act than giving own blood to strangers.. yep.. if only singaporeans will extend this generosity to their every day life, this country will be so much better place.. A lost hope I believe hahahaha...