Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Emo kid strikes back!

Today is the last day of January and thus I did my usual monthly expense documentation. I know I shopped like crazy this month but it still came as a shock to see that I spent nearly 700 bux on rubbish. Ok, perhaps not rubbish but personal hobby-related items. I bought 2 Squall figurines, some kimonos from Japan, collectible coins (from Singapore Mint Zodiac series as well as 150th anniversary of Nativity Church), Prince of Tennis Prince Boxes, Sebastian Michaelis Nendoroid (although it is the bootleg version), and Draco's as well as Snape's magic wand.

And it came as a greater shock that this is the first month that I actually spent more than my monthly salary :( Although partly it is because of my pair of shoes from Geox. I won't normally buy such expensive shoes but health should be more important than money. I am extremely worried about my fungal nail infection. I tried antifungal lotion (and still continuing until now), "home remedies" like tea tree oil, powder, anti-perspirant spray, cotton socks, and sport socks. All fail to reduce the sweating. Thus Geox is a desperate attempt. It boasts a patented technology which allows better air circulation and hence minimises perspiration through "holes" at the sole. My initial fear was that water could go in. Once I knew that it was waterproof, I decided to buy. So far, I am glad to say that the investment is paying off. My feet is no longer wet. Still, I need to be patient with the infection to clear :(

Having said all of these, the thing which upsets me most is the fact that I hardly save anything since starting to work for more than half a year :( It is really demoralising to think what the heck I am actually working for :( There is no point to earn money but not using it to make myself happy. However, it is also pointless to actually spend everything and end up with no savings. Sigh.. My pay is just pathetic. And my life is pathetic. No matter how I wanna save, I can't run away from monthly rental $700, monthly food of at least $300, groceries of at least $50, transport and phone bills of at least $100. I can't have a decent saving even by NOT buying anything for own self-pleasure.. Bah.. 

Fuck my life..

Money is not everything but everything needs money!

Monday, January 30, 2012

101 reasons to stay single

1. Everything in your house is yours.
2. You don't have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records in ridiculous places.
3. If you buy something "yummy", you don't have to buy twice as much.
4. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.
5. Your late nights are all yours.
6. Less stuff to move when you do move
7. One bedroom apartments feel more spacious with only one person
8. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm.
9. Only the doctor can tell you what to eat
10. You decide what to shave and when
11. Valentines day costs less
12. No anniversaries to remember
13. No extra birthdays to remember
14. No extra family to shop for during the holidays
15. No irritating in-laws to deal with
16. You can walk around naked whenever you want.
17. Only your sense of decency has any say about where you leave your dirty clothes.
18. You don't have to share
19. You don't have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues.
20. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.
21. Getting that out-of-state job doesn't hinge on what someone else wants or thinks.
22. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.
23. You can fall asleep anywhere without getting any guff for it in the morning.
24. You don't have to use the "headache" excuse anymore.
25. You don't have to worry as much about the "oops, I'm pregnant" factor.
26. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.
27. The only person who sees your inbox is you.
28. More time to spend with friends.
29. You don't have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.
30. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks you why.
31. You can date more freely.
32. The cute secretary is fair game.
33. The whole wedding mess? Yeah, none of that to deal with.
34. You don't have to share your closet with anyone else.
35. You always get to watch what you want.
36. You always get to read what you want.
37. You decide when to crawl into bed.
38. You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.
39. No one else's annoying (or disgusting) habits to deal with at home.
40. The only fetishes you have to deal with are your own.
41. You can talk to yourself without people saying "what?" or worrying about your sanity.
42. There are religious benefits, if you're into that kind of thing.
43. Single people can still adopt, if you're into that kind of thing.
44. The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own.
45. You don't ever have to wonder if you really love the person you live with.
46. There's only one way to do things- your way.
47. You are the master of the thermostat.
48. The only messes you have to clean up are your own.
49. The only disasters you have to fix are your own.
50. If an argument starts, you can walk away... forever.
51. You don't have to make excuses for yourself.
52. The whole "old maid" thing is so last century.
53. Dinner can be as simple as a frozen burrito.
54. When you eat, you buy and cook for one.
55. No one else is going to eat your leftovers.
56. No one else is going to raid your stash of sweets (you don't even have to hide it!)
57. You don't have to share your bed with anyone.
58. You can even eat in bed if you want to.
59. You can decorate the entire house according to your taste.
60. The only person spending your money is you.
61. Three words: Marriage Tax Penalty.
62. The only debts you have to pay off are your own.
63. Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.
64. Bickering couples are at best a relieving reminder and at worst hilarious.
65. Less pressure about body weight.
66. Married people are fatter on average anyway.
67. Suddenly, it's okay to look (and flirt).
68. It's easier to focus on your career and your dreams.
69. You're the only person who gets to decide if you "need to make more money."
70. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.
71. There are a lot of lonely and violently psychopathic people out there.
72. You don't have to change your religious beliefs one bit.
73. There are 6.5 Billion other fish in the sea. That's 6,500 x 1 million. Yeah.
74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.
75. The toilet seat only moves when you move it.
76. Cohabitation is legal, fun, and less of a hassle than marriage.
77. You don't have to deal with someone else's kids all the time.
78. Divorce is pricey.
79. You don't have to deal with "compliment fishing."
80. Fewer minutes spent with a phone attached to your ear.
81. No endless nagging.
82. You never have to answer the phone "right now!"
83. You can drink what you want, where you want, and as much as you want.
84. No doubts or worries about someone sleeping around.
85. Things stay where you put them.
86. You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it.
87. The only thing whining about not being fed is your cat.
88. You can take out the trash when you feel like it.
89. You can shower or bathe when you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want.
90. You can even leave the door open when you shower.
91. The longer you wait, the better you know yourself, instead of someone else.
92. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself.
93. A bad relationship is like a lingering knife wound- it continues to ruin your whole day.
94. You can be as eccentric as you want.
95. Your car can be as dirty or unusual or artistic as you want.
96. You decide how long it takes to get ready.
97. Say goodbye to heartache, dumping, and being dumped.
98. You get your weekends for you and your projects.
99. You can be the wild friend with all the really juicy stories.
100. You can still get laid. Maybe even more often. Certainly with more variety.
101. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first (Where it should be.)

My friend shared this with me and I think it is interesting and mostly true. Hoho.. From Reasons To Stay Single by E.S. Wynn. And I got this from here :) Well, Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Year of Water Dragon

Happy Lunar New Year of the Water Dragon 2012!!

The actualy New Year day was last week but until the celebration usually lasts until Cap Go Meh (or the 15th day) so I am still not late. I am looking forward to this year. Feng Shui masters say that last year was not exactly a good year for Rabbits (me!) even though it was a Rabbit year. This is somewhat similar for the Dragons this year. However, they say Rabbits can expect better luck this year. Yay!

Anyways, last year was not bad for me. In fact, I can say that it was good and I am thankful to God for everything. It would be amazing if the coming year will be even better!!

My aunt went back to Pontianak so I did not have any reunion dinner as previous years. However, this time my house owners invited and insisted me on coming for their dinner. Now now.. that is really very kind and nice gesture. I am thoroughly touched. Interestingly, their daughter was not there (I suppose the daughter was attending her husband's family side for reunion dinner). Instead, they invited one couple from next door. I am seriously touched. Haha.. I thought inviting neighbours for celebrations is only a thing seen in TV, cartoon shows, etc.

Furthermore, today they gave me 4 oranges. Wow.. I don't normally eat oranges. But I thought it would be "too much" if I declined such kindness. Gosh.. Will have to eat it eventually.. Haha.. Or perhaps I will bring it to work and share with my colleagues.

That's all for the update. Actually I have a lot of things to write: from dorama, shopping spree part I-lose-count-already, work-related rants, etc. Haha.. But mock presentation is waiting tomorrow so I should settle on that first.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Snow Prince

Look at the movie poster and tell me what impression it gives you. Small boy, cute dog, snow, and winter theme seem like a good mixture for heartwarming tear-jerker for the festive season (Yea I know it is quite weird to be watching this during Lunar New Year holiday! Haha). Plus I read from some blogs that this movie did pretty well in Japan in 2009. In one article, it was even dubbed as one of the best movies that people did not watch in 2009.

Anyway, please ignore the first paragraph. The movie is a huge disappointment and it wasted my precious 2 hours! Bleah! The story is akward. What is the story anyway? The "love" story is meh-meh.. There is not much about the children - pet relationship. There is not even much about human - human relationship.  Till the end the boy does not know that the clown he met in the circus is actually his dad. He does not even confess his feelings to the girl. In contrast to the picture, it seems that the girl is the main character as the story is told from her perspective. It's too weird if the boy is the main character. After all, it seems that he is always sad and lonely.

Anyway it did not warm my heart. As a tear-jerker, it left my eyes somewhat dry too. And the ending is way too weird. (Spoiler alert!) How can the boy with no proper winter wear choose not to go home but to sit under the tree at school when there is a blizzard? To me it is like a suicide.. Or worse, he also murders his dog by bringing it under the tree to die with him.

Well, so that's the end of the break :( I will only have Project Presentation, Viva, Exam, and Pre-reg Presentation. No more holiday until the end of pre-reg. Haiz.. A bit emo.. 

From the PV, the movie looks good actually :(

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I not so naughty after all

I just watched "We Not Naughty"". I enjoyed "I Not Stupid", not so much of "I Not Stupid Too", and "I Not Stupid Too TV Series" so I had high hopes for the latest "sequel". I was disappointed with the trailer a few days ago. It seems that Jack Neo has run out of good ideas and resorted to recycled ideas such as kidnapping/action in the woods (used in I Not Stupid), gangsters, rebellious teens, and family violence (used in I Not Stupid Too), teacher turning bad students into good ones (used in I Not Stupid Too), effects of media on education (used in I Not Stupid) and many more. In addition, it was only given 1.5 stars by one newspaper. The movie poster also shows a huge resemblance with I Not Stupid Too: the 2 guys and 1 small boy. Only this time, the small boy is not at the centre of the story although he is exactly the same role as Jerry (naughty, curious boy) in I Not Stupid Too. But since I had a free movie ticket, I might as well use it to watch this.

To be honest, I was bored for most parts of the movies. The movie tries to address too many issues (based on real life issues in Singapore) such as gambling, loansharks, dysfunctional families, cyber bullying, school girls behaving badly, student-teacher relationship, etc. The story is not well linked and the scenes feel "jumpy". Every scene change left me with a 'wtf' feeling as there seemed to be no head and no tail for each scene. Perhaps 2/3 of the movie feels like a collection of short clips rather than a well-written movie. The action parts near the end are too over the top. The ending, as expected, is the typical "miraculous everyone happily ever after" ending like the previous I Not Stupid series.

Ironically, overall I enjoyed the movie as I had pretty good laugh. In fact, I think it is a good comedy. I love how the seriousness and desperation of the action scenes and the giving birth scenes, there were lots of LOL moments for the audience. And the LOL moments were delivered with the actors maintaining the seriousness of the circumstances. For example, when the 2 guys were freaking out to help Mrs Liew to give birth, Mrs Liew asked them to take of her bottoms. That was hilarious. I mean any guys would find such situation akward and the audience had a good laugh. After several pushes, Mrs Liew asked them to look "underneath" to see how much the baby had been pushed out. She asked what they saw. And they replied "hair". Lol ok, that's an adult joke! Haha.. It was followed by "oh it's the baby's hair".

Personally, I feel that the giving birth scene is the only scene which makes the movie worth watching. It was powerful, especially when Mrs Liew asked the boys to cut open her vagina with a pair of scissor (yes without anasthesia! and think about possible risk of infection! gosh) because her opening was too small for the baby to come out. At that point, she only cared about the baby. And yes, that is very powerful to tell us how much our mothers have suffered to bring us into this world. I am sure it made everyone in the cinema had the "I love you, Mum" moment.

Jack Neo's films are known to be somewhat preachy but I think in here, some issues are addressed in a well-balanced manner. For example, it highlights that being a mother is not the same as being able to bring up children well. To kids, it emphasizes the point to love our parents for their sacrifice. To parents, it emphasizes the need to reflect whether they are being good parents, or they are just being parents.

Anyway, some Take Home Messages from the film:
1. Does it really portray polytechnic students? 
Now now.. it scares me a bit as my future dream is to work as polytechnic lecturers. But if the students are like what being presented in the movie, it's gonna be.. hard.. terribly hard..

2. I am sorry, Mum. I love you T_T
You know.. being mother is the most difficult job in the world! I complain daily about being scolded and complained by patients a.k.a strangers. Imagine how painful it is for my mum (and other mothers) when the children argue, talk back, scold, and complain about their own mothers, despite the sacrifices and pain that mothers suffer right from conceiving to bringing up their children.

3. Think positive
In the movie, everytime Damien's mother says something about thinking positive, it became a LOL moment. Yes, she repeated that many times even when she is almost being killed and after she is wounded badly. It may seem cliche but it's true, positive thinking does make a difference. In the most dire circumstances, positive thinking can be a source of hope.

4. You can't change the past but you have the choice for your future. Do not blame people, environment, circumstances for the state you are currently in. You can't change what has happened. Blaming them is not gonna help. Or as what being said in the movie: When you go jail or get caned, your family, your relatives, your friends, your enviroment will not replace you to go jail or get caned. Even if they are the ones causing you to go jail or get caned in the first place. This is a big lesson for me. I admit that I blame my parents for their decision many years ago. But oh well, I can't change the past. I am now in Singapore. Being happy or not, blaming my parents won't help or change anything. I need to make up my mind to make the best out of my condition right now. And seriously, I think this is something difficult for all of us human beings. It is human nature to always blame other people or other beings (God, lady luck) for things which come and happen.

I guess, the original I Not Stupid is still the best :)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


My Squall Leonheart Dissidia Play Arts Kai version arrived today! Exactly 1 week since the parcel was shipped. Thanks Yes-asia.com ^^ I seriously think the free-shipping is a scam. Haha.. The shipping fee is already included to the item price. Anyhow, it cost me about $93. Not too much difference from $89.90 which I saw at a shop here. At least I am quite sure that Yes-asia sent me the original one.

I am quite happy with the pose-ability. Thanks to the new joint technology which makes this much better than the older FF VIII Play Arts version (and hence explains the price difference too). Aaa~~h now I feel like getting another one: 1 to put at home and 1 to put here. Haiz.. But as I checked the website again, the end of year clearance sale is over. The price returns to $110+ which is way too expensive :(

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Big O

I had lunch at Big O in Paragon. It was my first time despite my long presence in Singapore. Haha.. Actually a few years back, I almost went there with a group of friends to have dessert as supper. But the time was already almost 2230 so the plan was called off.

I know the place has great desserts: mudpies, Bailey's dessert, the banana cake, the coconut cake, etc. Initially I was quite disappointed with the rather limited choice of main dish. I settled for Breaded Chicken Snitzel ($19.50). The potato salad side was DAMN good! I wish there was more of it! The lemon butter sauce was good. But the MAIN thing about the main dish i.e the chicken was a huge disappointment. Frankly, even normal hawker centre chicken can easily beat that. Even the lemon butter sauce could not salvage it.

Well, the dessert saved the day! Lucky I was reading their list of culinary awards that I saw the SPIKE D. The D stands for durian so that was it! I decided. Before that, I was mulling over what to buy, flooded with so many nice chocolate and Bailey's stuff. But durian topped it all. Anyway, it was indeed worthy of winning the award. The durian taste was authentic. Aaaa~~h if it was near dinner time, I would definitely take away 1 more slice. Haha.. Perhaps the next time I have my dental appointment, I should buy some of the desserts back for dinner. Yum yum!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Show off!! My name in a research journal!!

Remember my endless rants about my final year project last year? Yesterday I had this narcissistic strike to actually google my own name as search criterion. Yea call me crazy. Lol.. Anyway to my delight, I found my name on a scientific article published in a journal. Yep all thanks to my final year project. Now now.. How unbelivable that is! Lol..

Initially I didn't know whether I should feel proud or amused. After all my contributions are just a few pictures and the first sentence of the abstract. Haha.. After reading the full article, hey, I think my name should not be put that late you know.. Many paragraphs are actually direct copy and paste from my FYP submission report. Lol.. But I know why I am considered low in importance: the results I got was super crappy. Lol.. Oh well but still, many parts of the essay are mine ok!

Since I will sort of having my job interview, perhaps I should use this as evidence that I actually have some interest in research too! Don't pay me well and I shall leave. Haha..

Oh and I just realise why I am so WEIRD as a person. I have a psychiatric disorder: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I read wikipedia and I think I fulfill all the criteria sia.. OMG!! I wonder what medicines should I take. Haha.. OK this should not be funny! This should be worrying.. Aww.. Something is really not right with me...

I certainly love pleasant and unexpected surprises. Yesterday I went to my Aunt's place to deliver some stuff from Indo. My Aunt and her daughter gave me Christmas presents. One each! I thought my aunt gave me a towel again since the packaging is quite compact and when I pressed from outside, it feels like cloth material inside. And guess what is inside: WAIST POUCH!! Yay!! I don't have any right now so it really feels good to have one. From my cousin, I was expecting a phone cover or something. And inside is: PLUGTAG. It is quite difficult to describe it so picture will be better. I don't even know there is actually this kind of thing so it is really a good surprise. Hehe.. Although I unlikely use it since I do not leave around my cables when I don't need it.

I googled "Plugtag" and this is identical to the one I have ^^

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Root of evil

Money is the root of all evil. I now understand how patients are furious when it comes to pricing and subsidies etc. I am also furious (and jealous) when I know that my friends at some hospitals are getting about 1 month bonus at the end of 2011. I don't care about what bonuses and pro-rated. I only care that they received nett ~1 month while I got ~half month. If their contracts state that they were entitled to other bonuses, I am gonna start round 2 noise to the HR. I lost round 1 because it is true that my contract only states that I am entitled to 13th month bonus subjected to pro-ration. But this time my argument will be: why other organisations give other bonuses? Isn't this shortchanging us who last year had no idea about various bonuses and had no chance to compare between organisations too?

I will have my interview on Monday. I will ask my direct bosses regarding this before bringing up to the HR again. I will 'threaten' them subtly that if this bonus matters would ever leak out, good luck to them trying to get quality pre-reggers in the coming years. They would really perhaps getting the left overs.

I am also getting worried about the pay which I will get/be offered. I am frustrated with my friends who can't seem be bothered. They will just take whatever shit given to them and sign. It is appalling that people prefer moving wherever pays best to fighting for benefits at the place where they actually want to say. Seeing the people like this, it is not a surprise that this profession is always this shitty. People complain about low pay despite hard work for 4, if not 5, years. Seriously people, complaining and bitching among yourself change NOTHING. No wonder everyone bullies us, including the HR people which are not even considered as professionals. Terrible.. Really..

One case which epitomises this attitude perfectly: a friend of mind is working at somewhere which promises that first class honours students will be getting $100 more than the rest for this 9 month training. 7 months are almost up and she received nothing about this additional $100. And guess what she did? Just asked once or twice to the manager (not even the HR) about this and just sat around hoping that miracles will come.

Pathetic.. First class you know! Why do the first classes want to waste their 4 year effort? By right, we have higher bargaining power to demand for higher pay! I guess all your neurons had been fried in your attempt to get the first class.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I still cannot get over my emo-ness over my bootleg toys. Today I went to check out shops for Squall Dissidia Kai. One shop is actually selling the bootleg of Vincent Final Fantasy VII o_0 I feel a bit relieved because the shop where I bought most of my Final Fantasy Play Arts figurines is actually selling original products. Anyways, only 1 shop has Squall available and even then, I am not sure about its authenticity. The selling price is $89.90. About $10 more expensive than the other shop when I visited LAST year. I tried to purchase directly from Square Enix Shop Online but I think it only allows certain countries to purchase. Singapore is, unfortunately, not one of them. In the end, my last resort is to get it from Yesasia.com. Perhaps I am 'lucky' that Squall is on year end clearance. After discount, the price is about $93 (free shipping). Comparable to the one I saw today so I guess I will give Yesasia.com a try. Initially I tried Play-asia.com but Squall is out of stock there.

Many years ago, I was only surviving with $200 per month from my scholarship. My parents supported me but I tried to limit my spending to $200 as much as possible so as not to 'use' my parents money. $20+ US manga felt way too expensive when Indonesian manga was only about $1.50. Fast forward few years to 2012, I regret that I did not buy 2 copies of Gundam Wing mangas, 1 set to put here and the other at home. Now that my purchasing power is higher, unfortunately the mangas are no longer published. Well, what do you expect? Even Tokyopop already closed down or something like that mah..

I can only find Gundam Wing Episode Zero from eBay. Inclusive the shipping fee, it will be about $30, more expensive than what I paid for many years ago. Even so, I am not sure with the condition. Since I am looking at US version, plenty of them are available in US websites (Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, etc). Even though the prices are super super good (can be as low as $1.99), the shipping cost will blow everything up. Now I am only hoping that my cousin who is staying in the US will let me know when she has plan of coming to Indonesia. Then I can buy what I want and ship to her house for cheaper fee. Then she helps me to fly it here. Lol..

Anyway at Absolute Comics, I found Gundam Wing manga volume 2 and 3. Yup, no volume 1 :( After opening, I cannot even tell whether it is real.. The paper feels like photocopied version =x Oh well, I will never know I guess. I am buying it only for the sake of having it in my collection. Previously I did not buy because I already had the Indonesian version. I just realised that Absolute Comics has another shop at Lucky Plaza so perhaps I should give it a visit. Perhaps they have the volume 1 there.. and the other Gundam Wing spin-offs.

Emo :(

You know, price does not lie. I had a feeling that I was cheated when I bought my toys for $30 each the last round. By the look and the feel of them, I somehow feel that they are bootlegs/fakes. Only today I learnt and confirmed that they were indeed bootlegs :( There is a Youtube video showing the differences for the Kingdom Heart Series :( Very sad. I feel very cheated :( Ciel is okay because he looks pretty good. But the two Soras are quite bad with all the weird paintings everywhere. Sigh.. I want to buy Squall from Dissidia Kai series but now I am worried that I would be paying $80+ for a fake too. I am feeling emo because I have no idea whether the 10 figurines I have at home are original or fake. 

If I know I am buying bootlegs, I rather not buy! After all, I am only really fanboy-ing over FF8 and not the others. Of course if I am not a big fan of something, who cares about getting the bootleg or the original one? After all, the bootlegs can really look like the originals. The differences only become obvious once you take out the figurines from the boxes which by then it is too late since you already purchased the items. But half of the original price for a fake?? I think that really hurts :(

I received the email of the photos so that I can choose which ones to be printed. I am very disappointed and angry with the photographer. Sigh.. I only took 2 solo photos. In one of them, I was sitting down and I looked damn fat. The photographers should have told me that my vest was not positioned properly when I was seated and that really made me look super fat. I was hoping that that pose will be the better one. The other solo shoot is not that good either. I wanted the nice background to be captured but the photographer failed to do so.. All the "fun" photos with my graduation dinner also fell short of expectation.

Angry angry emo :( Bad day...

Sunday, January 8, 2012

New Year Reunions

It was a tiring but a great first week of 2012. I had 2 reunions with my old friends: first was my ex-Watsons colleague and second was my World Youth Day groupmates. 3 years passed by so fast and yet people don't change, do they? Haha..

My technician friend will be going to Beijing for her university double degree course this August. It is interesting to find out about alternative medicines (TCM, acupuncture, chiropractic) which she is interested with. The insights from the ex-locum made me realise how blessed I am with choosing my current workplace. Haha.. Looks like it is 100% for me to stay on, provided the company still wants me.

After so long, nothing changes much in the dynamic of my WYD group. I think we are still as crazy as when we were in Sydney. Haha.. Anyway I can't stop but wonder why I am surrounded by many holy people and yet I am still a holy shit.. Sigh.. During my sharing, I came up with something which was very funny: "My faith was low. But it went lower last year when I went for mass once every 2 weeks. But don't worry, now it is back to the original low". Lol not something to be proud of.. Anyway this is the second time that people are telling me that my faith will just crumble if I do not have any ministry to serve. Oh well =x I still don't know what I can do. And frankly, I always find church people are kinda "weird". And I am shy, I don't just randomly go join a church activity. Oh well..

Deep in my heart, it is ironic to admit that the reason for being lazy about praying is that I have good life. Monotonous working life is one thing. Unlike school days when things are always changing, there are new things to pray everyday be it exam, CCA, other stuff. Now everything is the same thing. Nasty patients.. good colleague. Prayer becomes a mere repetitions day by day. However, I guess the real thing is that I often "forget" God when life is good. I only come to Him when the going gets tough.. OH NOOO God please don't make my life difficult to call me back to you!! I will try to pray!!

Another thing which kinda turns me off from Mass these days are the new liturgy. Sigh.. People keep telling me that God should be the focus, not the music etc. But seriously, choosing 'boring' songs in a foreign language (I mean Latin) which the congregation cannot even follow is seriously a disservice to the people. It looks like "holier-than-thou" attitude is quite prevalent as seen from the response in Catholic News about someone who wrote in about "his wife was refused entry into church because of wearing open-toes footwear", "unfriendly tone to instruct congregation to kneel" and  the use of Latin. I am glad that one priest gave a very understanding reply! Much better than the "holier-than-thou" Catholics/Sunday Catholics. The priest brought to mind that there are the poor out there which may not be able to afford "Sunday best" for Mass, that people at the back (with no knee cushion) perhaps choose not to kneel due to health issues, as well as questionable use of Latin in the liturgy if the congregation cannot even follow. Well done, Father!

Last thing to share is my pre-reg fair presentation. As the last speaker, I was only given like ONE bloody MINUTE to talk. I guess I exceeded but who cares. I am glad that I made people laugh with my honesty and frankness as usual. And as usual, most people have the kiasu mentality to prioritise learning. In a few months time, perhaps many will regret not following my heedings :p And in 1 year time, perhaps many will be like my classmates now, asking me about my organisation and thinking about changing job. Hoho..

Monday, January 2, 2012

New beginning

Another year has come and it is time to make "empty promises" or more widely known as new year resolutions. I am thankful for the short break. I admit that I am not happy here but after observing my sister (who just started to work recently), I realise that I have so MUCH to be thankful for. Putting things into perspective, my working life here is much better than my sister's.

First, my sister goes out to work earlier and comes home later than me. Thanks to the awful journey time in the big city. In short, I have more disposable time a.k.a. more life here. Second, I complain about having to set aside much of my salary for my rental and the higher cost of living here (my sister still leeches food from parents). But if proper calculation is done, what I can save every month (despite the higher expenses here) is actually more than my sister's gross earning. Thirdly, I have more leave days. I was shocked when I heard that my mum (she is in managerial level) only has 12 annual leave days i.e once a month. My gosh! Even for a shitty entry level like me, I am entitled to 15 days (pro-rated to 11 days because I am only working for 9 months). Once I obtain my license, I will get 21 days! ZOMG! So indeed I am trully blessed and I should be thankful.

Sigh.. anyway my first resolution not to emo is already dashed. I just can't help it okay! I feel emo not really because I need to work again tomorrow. I feel emo more to the fact that I will be missing home.. Haiz :( 

My second resolution is to better control my emotion. I hate those non-English speaking people I meet daily at work. I hope I can hide my irritation. I hope that I will not become like them. I see how my parents age and how they are getting impatient.. how sometimes they are behaving not much different from the old people who make me angry daily. Perhaps it is because of aging. I DO NOT WANT to be like that even as I age!! Again, having said that, today I already showed "ya-ya attitude". I went to Sheng Shiong Supermarket to look for air dehumidifier. The person I asked was from China and asked me to speak Chinese. I just left her and could not be bothered anymore..

Aaargh.. so it's gonna start again tomorrow. I hope I can remember the resolutions I made myself!