Tuesday, April 28, 2009

PR 3107: Pharmacy Practice II; PR 2105: Pharmaceutical Microbiology

PR 3107 - Pharmacy Practice II
Huhuhu... The test was a proof that my brain just sucks in memorising. So many marks were wasted because my memory failed me.. The first 15+ questions were disastrous. I only could answer 5 out of the first 19 questions. Haiz haiz.. The rest was like I never saw before. The few that I knew such as the Peak Flow Meter was forgotten :'( I thought the trap was at the standing up or sit.. And I don't know why I remembered the wrong thing (breathe in then slide down..) although I knew it didn't make sense.. Oh wells...

The flu section was disastrous. I made a fatal error of forgetting 1 class of cough medication. Haiz.. I forgot about expectorant T_T I think all the cough section is gone already.. Sigh.. still, I am thankful that it didn't come out in the section B.. Otherwise I am sooo dead.

I made another fatal error by missing out an important line: XXX has no other medical conditions. Sigh.. I realised that 2 minutes before times up. Mental block was up and I could think of other question to ask the patient.. I recommended Fleet Phospho Soda but I also could not recall how to prepare it.. Haiz..

Conclusion: I just suck in Pharmacy.. I cannot bloody remember things and I will never be able to remember on what to counsel.. Damn la.. So sad.. Now even B+ may not be possible..

PR 2105 - Pharmaceutical Microbiology
It was a direct regurgitation. Thank God that Cabal maintenance was stretched.. And I could finish the Kelsey-Syke.. The MCQ was not too bad so I suppose everyone would do very well also. And I would be in a disadvantage again.. Because I could not do the first structured question. Bloody fucking shit la.. For a topic which constitutes less than 10% of the whole module, how can it make 25% of the whole paper.. The fungi notes is just so empty and lack of information so how the hell I can crap so much?? I only wrote half of what I wrote for question 2.. Haiz.. Maybe cannot even get 10 out of 25.. Sucks la.. I curse the person to burn in hell..

Oh man.. I should be preparing for biotech instead of slacking -_-

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Fool

Waa.. I slacked (played game) more than I studied today.. I intended on re-reading biotech one more time tonight or reading law and diarrhea/constipation notes but obviously I did none. I only managed to re-read 1 set of biotech notes. Haiz.. What my friend told me yesterday is true, it feels better reading it for the second time. But still, there is just too much info to memorise. And I can't memorise.. The final few sets of biotech was read more in a hurried manner, especially the last one. I totally don't know what is going on. Sigh..

I know that I can do better if I were to invest more time in mugging. But I am just too lazy. How foolish is that? Still being so foolish even after knowing own foolishness.

Microbio self-pawn learning results are out. I have to say I am totally shocked that I got so high. And I didn't prepare for them at all. How good will it be if my shooting skills are that good for REAL exams.. But obviously, that is not gonna happen. That's the irony.. when I have more things to consider before tikam, I tikam wrongly.. When I have nothing to consider, can tikam correctly..

I see a light.. a possibilty.. of getting an A for microbio. So shall I read that again?? And shall I read biotech, which is still very open to get an A-, again? Haiz.. Pharm Prac is totally hopeless already.. The thought of mugging it for 4 days to dream on getting good grade for it is just plain dumb--stupid--foolish..

BleaH I shall sleep earlier today.. I hope I will not make a foolish decision on what to study tomorrow...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Mugging Marathon

Woaa... I am surprised with myself today.. I studied for about 9 hours non-stop. I didn't sleep at all although there were few distractions here and there to eat, pee, read newspaper, and print notes. What a self-discovery. I never know my full mugging potential. I shall see whether I can repeat the same feat tomorrow. And I am feeling dead tired right now. I guess no more mugging for tonight.. Haiz.. I can just do another set of notes.. but oh well.. Anyway... how long I study and how much that my memory retains are totally independent. I am so sick of mugging that even while waiting for bus, I refused to re-read the sets of notes I read earlier on this morning which obviously I have completely forgotten. I read the questions people asked in the forum and I was stunned.. I catch no balls. Don't know why people think so much and don't understand why the teacher answer even much-er.. Die die die...

The mugging spirit is scary!! The library was fully packed and I could find no seat. But thanks to that, I sat at the newspaper reading area. With the larger volume of traffic there, I never ran out of things to distract me.. and that is the reason I was not falling asleep. Haha.. So paiseh mahz.. I shall see whether I will chop seat there again or I shall find a 'proper' mugging area. Lol.. Must not lose the spirit..

Haiz.. I shall treat myself tonight.. I shall play game and have a really good night sleep :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Oh my.. My study plan is a failure. I did Microbio too slowly. And now my aim to finish Biotech in 2 days is just ridiculous. Shall I extend it to 4 days? Haiz.. That will cut Pharm Prac revision time even shorter. Grrr.. Difficult decision is to be made: to try scoring for Biotech as Pharm Prac is already hopeless or to take risk for Biotech while trying to avoid a C for Pharm Prac. AARGH!! I hate my course! So dumb, put everything so close together and leave 1 week for Pharmaco whose whole syllabus have been mugged for CA.

I am losing my drive to study today. I was so glad after finishing 4 sets of notes.. before I realised that Biotech has 20 sets. If I were to finish in 2 days, I need to finish 10 today. And where am I now? I don't know.. I don't wanna know.. I don't wanna count and freak myself.. I'm only at L10 which I believe is actually only the 8th or 9th set.. Darn.. Never read this set (and the sets after this) and I ponned some lectures. It's gonna be impossible to finish 10 tomorrow. Die die die.. CAP will drop somemore..

Okay enough of the stressful thing. I wanna talk about British Got Talent. Haha.. The second episode was not as hilarious as the first one (in fact, it was not hilarious at all). I find the stripper from episode 1 was soo hilarious. Not because of the act but because of the (changes in) expressions of the judges, especially those of Amanda, throughout the 1.5 mins act. It is so good to watch it as a destress session. Haha.. Another funny one is when the Indian guy tried to burst a water bottle. When the bottle burst, the MCs jumped and it was damn entertaining. Wakakaka...

Cabal makes me stressed and irritated because nobody is buying my items. Lol.. But still, I am playing it everyday. Haha.. It was not as distractive as during the term time though. Oh well, that means I am a slow learner.. Already cut short play time, still finish so few sets of notes..

The day is gonna be over soon. And tomorrow I will have to study in library.. I am left with $2 in my wallet. I need to withdraw money. And I will be glad to eat other than sickening PGP food. Not that Science food is not boring either.. I am hoping for a miracle.. that studying in library will be effective. So far, it has been less effective than mugging in my room... The quietness and the cold make a potent sedative effect, especially since the last few days have been awfully hot!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Susan Boyle


Too bad all videos have the embed feature disabled so I can only put the link. It's Susan Boyle.,The latest world sensation. Only about in one week and that video alone was viewed by almost 25million people. She gave a lesson to the whole humanity (and especially to one bitch at 1:25 among the audience who sniggered at her) that looks are not everything. Now now.. who would expect someone with a packaging like hers hid such a good surprise for everyone. Isn't it wonderful that she turned all her critics to her favour only after the first line?

So perhaps.. I have something that I have not discovered yet.. Well I wonder what it will be.. I don't have the brain, nor the brawn, not also the look, I cannot bloody sing, and music/dance/arts are also not my cups of tea.. That leaves me with nothing, doesn't it? Oh well...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My heart aches..
My stomach hurts..
My memory fails..

It's 9 days left till exam.. I wonder how I am going to prepare... I am just too stupid.. My pharmacy practice disappointed me.. I got 60 while other people are getting 80s.. I was chosen into this course not because of my ability, it's just because they have some spare quota for international students. I really cannot take it... There goes my 8 CCA points for next academic year.. I will no longer able to maintain my first class honour. I hate practicing so much.. And perhaps that's why I am cursed.. After all, only those who cannot make it will practice.. Oh well, I should focus my attention to other modules which still stand a chance on getting good scores..

I am tired...
Pretending that I am happy..
Pretending that I am strong..
Pretending that I don't really care..
That I am satisfied with the shit results I got..
That I am able to accept the shit results I got..
It's all fake..

What is the consolation I can have? That there are still other people doing better than me? Haiz.. I don't need such thing! My world revolves around me and I will only be happy when I am doing well.. even if other people are doing better..

At least I had a good bday celebration on Monday and I had a new good photo ^o^

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Happy Birthday to me!! Haha.. I am 22 and a year closer to depart from this sad world to my eternal Home up there haha...

Before I start writing about how my day had been, I shall say few things about the Vigil yesterday. Lol, I am glad that I was baptised last year!! Even though they had cooler baptism candle and garment (it was a ROBE and no longer a CLOTH!) this year, I would say that last year's ceremony was more meaningful. And the choir went from bad to worse. It was great catching up with my RCIY friends including some that I have not seen for close to a year (yeah.. I became an irregular and so did they).

I slept early last night. Haha.. That was very rare thing for me to welcome my birthday. But too bad, I didn't really enjoy this birthday. The very first thing I did in the morning was DOING LAUNDRY. Wow.. how fantastic was that? After that I had a lunch with a friend. It was great to catch up with someone I have not spoken to for so long. Haha.. I was so shocked to see the pictures we took. My face is sooo ROUND.. It's official: I am not only getting fatter but I am already SUPER FAT :'( So jealous to see my friend lost a lot of weight.. I am in the wrong course.. Not enough level of stress to shed my weight.

After that? There was nothing haha.. We just went to City Hall and Suntec because my friend wanted to find Eu Yan Sang. Lol.. And my day just went by like that. No shopping to treat myself present as there is really no good thing I am craving for. Oh well... And I am not feeling well after few days of improper food intake.. And the test on wednesday really stresses me up.. not even halfway through now.. Sigh..

It's time to make a new age resolution:
1) Get rid of that spare tire around the belly!!
2) Do something for the excessive sebum!! I can no longer tolerate it -_-
3) Lead a happier life.. being happier... and lead a stress-less life

How about school? Haiz.. Don't bother liao.. I try or don't try also cannot make it de lol.. And I need to get a new bag and a pair of shoes.. My bag is already very bad.. And both my pairs of shoes already cannot make it.. Sigh.. Those will cost me a bomb.. Plus I need some working attires. Haiz...

Well, since it is an Easter, I shall end the post in a nicer way. Should not steal away the limelight from God. Haha.. It has been nice to share a great day with Him though.



Saturday, April 11, 2009

Lenten Reflection

1 year has passed ever since I was baptised. I certainly understand what people say that life becomes more difficult after you profess your faith in God. Doing good is no longer an option but obligation. Similarly with attending Sunday Mass. Even though I have not missed any (except when I went to Cambodia), there are occasions when I feel lazy and don't want to go. The temptations may get worse in weeks/months/years to come but I hope that no matter how screwed up my faith is, I can at least keep going to church on Sundays as a minimum.

The height of my faith ended few months after WYD. WYD and its aftermath served as powerful testimony on how God is really present in my life. Sadly, the storm of daily struggles and school stuff slowly erodes that feeling. The climax is of course in this last few weeks. CCA points were disappointing (though I am glad that it was sufficient to secure a place next week) and school results were down-spiralling. I studied hard.. harder than previous semester, I prayed hard... maybe not as hard as before, but all things were futile. I was distraught. I prayed for strength and it was not given to me. I resorted to self-distruct: abandonment of my Lenten project, and I didn't pray for almost a month. I wonder what is wrong.. I did whatever I could and results are really beyond my control...

Now Lent is coming to an end. Of course with the Good Friday and Easter etc, want or don't want, I have to slowly catch up on my spiritual life. The confession helped.. I started to pray again.. but to be honest, I haven't really got back the feelings I used to have. I still feel like I am talking to myself.

Yesterday Good Friday was good indeed. The Way of the Cross really touched me.. Though I wonder until how long I can remember these: to pray without ceasing, that no trial beyond my strength will be given to me, to leave everything in God's hand etc... Due to unforeseen circumstances, I would not be able to make it in time if I were to go to Toa Payoh yesterday. So I had to go to St. Teresa. I would have to say that the Exposition and Veneration were not as good as Risen Christ's one. Now I understand why my aunt said that she was really touched during last year Good Friday. And how can one do not believe when it always rains on Good Friday.. Even until now I wonder how that is possible.. Haha.. Lucky after the service ended, the rain was not as heavy and I didn't get all drenched going home.

I am going to Easter Vigil tonight. I am hoping for a miracle.. that my faith will be reawakened once more..

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I not stupid, I an Idiot

Tomorrow is Good Friday so I shall spew all the bad things and vulgarity today.

The torture of school still hasn't ended..
Let me start with the shortest story first: Drug Quiz. Haiz.. It was another bloody fuck shit asshole paper.. Not as bad that the second quiz but it was still shitty. Darn.. Why the fuck only the things which I never read that are tested?

Next on my curse list is Biotech. I totally did not understand what was going on for the past 2 lectures. The teacher was happily saying things and examples which were not even in the notes. The notes were already confusing and she made it even more confusing. And I still don't understand what basepairs mean in a DNA strand.. My understanding is that "pair" means 2 nucleotides (1 in each strand). But how come in many of the examples when watever used is 1 strand, the number of nucleotides is always mentioned as basepairs? T_T I am totally confused..

Here comes the finale, the module I hate most is the Microbi(o)tch. 2 quizzes down the drain so far.. There is no way that I can remember the bloody 20pgs+ for 5 MCQs.. and worse: even if I memorise the whole thing, there are still questions not from the sets given to me. Dumb teacher seriously! Talk so much -_- act enthu.. but it's not like he is listening to the presentations. Such a waste of time...

Oh well.. I should really listen to what the pastor told me yesterday..
1) You will pass
2) Don't worry about things that you cannot do anything
3) Count the many things you have and do not focus on the few things you do not have
4) Take life easier..

Sigh... It is easier said than done.. How I wish I can do all those things and do not pressurise myself.. Haiz.. I will die in a young age.. I am sure about that. I was so upset about game last night that my heart literally jumped. Too bad I didn't die.. It would be great to die exactly on same date I was born.. My tombstone will look damn cool

Monday, April 6, 2009

Waaah it has been long time since I am writing again. Haha.. I am so bored and stressed over revision for this Wednesday's drug test and I guess I shall take a break (though it's more like I am taking a break from computer by studying lol).

Let's recall what happened to me for the past week.. Firstly, lab test went pretty screwed up. Forgive me God but I cheated. I completely forgot how to stain :( and had to see how my neighbour did it.. I remembered the steps but I didn't know about the water. I flushed down everything with water after every step.. I guess too much info until everything was mixed up. Lucky I prepared 2 slides. Because the first one was a total disaster, I even put the counter stain without decolorising. After realising that, I just flushed away the counter stain and decolored the slide and readding the counterstain. Of course I could not see anything. The report was horribly done too. I didn't write any precautions (were there any to write in the first place -_-) sigh.. On Friday, my viability count was 130% fantastic.. I give life to things around me indeed. Another module gone..

My English sucks by the way. I really cannot do a presentation without a prepared script. I tried it on Friday to prepare for Microbio presentation. Haha.. For that I skipped pharmaco tutorial too.. Even though my main motivation to skip pharmaco tutorial was that I was totally unprepared and was not willing to get saboed by whoever the tutor was. The only preparation I did was printing the questions. Haha.. All thanks to Natural Heritage essay. I chionged finish within 2 nights and okay.. That's it! I am not gonna take a look at it anymore. I don't even attend lectures already.. Stupid CA2 was a crap and no point of trying hard for a module that I will S/U eventually.

I celebrated another Birthday dinner on Saturday. This time it was at Central. Haha I will never ever come back to that 'small' mall. I find it very weird, the walkways are very narrow, and there isn't much to see around. Lol.. The dinner was at Mr Curry and it was a con of money. Lucky I ordered the cheapest and it didn't turn out that bad. Well, I bought the fanciful curry in bun because of its attractiveness, not because I wanted to be full anyway. But it was a great run away from stupid mugging.

Microbio presentation was finally over today. I don't care haha.. I was kind of self-pawn with what I said. Nevermind la.. Glad that it was over even though I think I will fail the quiz.. Another failure.. sigh..