Just within a week of my break at home, I already fell into another bout of depression. Work is getting from worst to terrible. I am getting sick of covering other people's backside while noone covers mine. When people are away, I am supposed to temporarily take over their duties. So what about my own duties? They take a back seat and I have to do at home. That is like working for the whole day except when I am sleeping. When I am away, I still have to do my own duties. Life sucks. Life is unfair. Bleah..

Thinking about this just makes me more emo. I want to leave my current job. But I don't know what choice I have. Where can I find greener grass? Can I be sure that greener grass does not come with shittier fertiliser? Sigh..

To make things worst, I just lost an opportunity to purchase my holy grail: Aladdin Capodimonte figure for very cheap. I posted this 2 years ago and until now I am still waiting for an opportunity to get this. 1 auction started with $195 and eventually ended with just $202.50. Other prices on eBay currently is $1300-$1800. Haiz... Sadly this seller only shipped to US. I asked if he is willing to ship internationally by eBay Global Shipping Programme. He said shipping would be $300 by USPS. I was contemplating whether to get since the total would still only be 1/3 of what the others are charging. But if shipping is by USPS, I had to fetch such a big and heavy thing from customs office and that is something good. I also don't have the space for such a big piece. So the next emo-ness goes to my parents who up to now still does not want to get me a house here. I know it does not gonna help with anything. I prayed that the piece would remain unsold but obviously that did not happen. Sad...

FML FML FML.. that's what I am feeling right now :(

The Avengers: Age of Ultron

The few years wait turns out to be quite a disappointment.. Aaaah~~~ Having said that, it is not because the movie is not good. The first Avengers movie sets the bar too high that makes it difficult for the sequels to top it over.

In less than 5 minutes of the movie, I already felt a disappointment with the obvious CG work for the action scenes. I know they want to make cool and over the top action scenes but when the CG becomes too obvious, it defeats the purpose. After all, I want to see a live action movie and not a cartoon. Some of the action scenes also happen too quickly that it is difficult to catch and appreciate what is happening. There are too many mindless destruction that final showdown simply lose its impact. The fight between Hulk vs Hulkbuster is not as good as the trailer. I mean I don't feel any significance or anything great or anything touching from the fight. It is just mindless punching, kicking, and collateral damage to the buildings. The final fight is not as dramatic as the one in the first movie as the aim is to evacuate civilians and just to break apart the floating city before it falls back and destroy the earth upon impact. Even after the mission accomplished, the resolution does not have give invoke emotions like relief etc.

The pace of the movie is rather slow and I felt quite bored at the beginning. However, the plot is quite smoothly presented: why Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch initially sided with Ultron, Iron Man's motives for his plans, how Ultron has his perverted idea of protecting the world, how Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch ends up fighting against Ultron, and how everything leads to the final showdown.

Another aspect that Age of Ultron does worse than its predecessor is the quirky and witty dialogues. I don't think the cinema had a laugh greater than "puny god" previously. Is it because everything seems to be more serious this time? I don't know.

Number of superheroes and screen time for each are always inversely proportional. It is a good thing that on top of the original 6, we also have Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, War Machine, and The Vision. On the flip side, there is less screen time for each person, notably for Iron Man. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch get quite a lot of screen time. In fact, Quicksilver seems to be very powerful here although he seems to be kinda useless in the comics. Haha.. The CG for Scarlet Witch is kinda lame, unfortunately as she is just shooting red beams. Too bad they have to 'kill' Quicksilver senselessly in the end. I say senselessly because I don't see what's the point of killing him. It does not move the plot forward and it does not even cause any crazy impact when Scarlet Witch going bonkers because of that. My friend said that Marvel "killed" him because Fox owns X-men and their Quicksilver. Hmm.. I still want to believe that perhaps he is not dead yet. Otherwise, why would Hawkeye lie next to a dead man when he is recovering from his wound?

Anyway the movie is still interesting, great, and enjoyable to watch. My expectations are too high and these dampen my mood a little bit. But I do not want to take the credit away and I still think that it is worth watching. In fact, I don't mind to watch it a second time. Haha.. Kinda ironic because I did not feel as excited at the end of it as compared to when I watched the first movie.

I don't really like popcorn and never ever in my life I eat popcorn when watching movie. I was so emo and upset because of work yesterday that I succumbed into temptation and got myself a popcorn combo. Actually it was not the combo that I wanted but the collectible that come for it. I don't collect non-anime collectibles but I guess all the Avengers' mood around me made me buy it. Quality-wise it is rather rubbish but hey, I bought it just because of the hype. Lol

Sadly only the big 4 are available. I would actually prefer Black Widow :( It was quite tough for me to choose between Captain America and Thor but I guess I like Chris Evans better than Chris Hemsworth and that is why I went for Captain America. Lol.

Talking about toys, if they ever make a figure of the computer model shown at the end credits, I will want it! Yeah!

Gin

My bubble tea abstinence ended on my birthday! How ironic! Haha.. I honestly have no idea where to celebrate my birthday as I am no longer familiar with my hometown. I am fine with anything anywhere as long it is the latest happening thing in Jakarta at the moment. Lol. I still want to keep up with latest development although I don't live here anymore. My sister told me about Fook Yew restaurant which as alcoholic bubble tea.

Regardless what Fook and Yew mean in the Chinese dialect, I am pretty sure the name is chosen just to make it rhyme with Fuck You. Haha... It works in Indonesia but I dare someone to open a branch in an English speaking country. I am not a fan of Chinese food but I have to say that the food here is quite unique in a good way. It is not the typical Chinese fine dining type of food. Moving on to the alcoholic bubble tea, I decided to buy a drink which contains gin. It was my first time and I could not taste any alcohol in my mouth. Initially, I was doubting myself if the drink had alcohol. A few minutes later, I felt the warmth on my back and the dizziness. Looks like I have found myself a new favourite alcohol. Haha.. I dislike alcohol because of: gastric, dizziness, flushing, warmth, and dry mouth. This gin does not cause me the flushing and the dry mouth so it is good. Now I know that the next time I want to get a non-drinker to drink, gin will be a good choice.

I am quite happy that my mum shared my birthday luck by winning a luck draw of a return air ticket from Jakarta - Bangkok - Phuket. She bought ruby earrings from the Thai fair and got 12 lucky draw entries. Hmm, that is like getting the earrings for free. Lol.. Anyway, I have been to Bangkok so I am not interested to accompany her.

Half of my holiday is gone :( I have not really done the work things that I brought home. Because my maid is not around, I have to waste time doing my laundry and my dishes. Haiz... I have yet to tidy up my comics and toy collections which definitely will make me more angsty as I have nowhere to keep them in order. Last but not least, one of the new acne cream that I got has tretinoin in it. It triggers the initial acne breakout as one of the side effects and I really cannot stand my own face :( I don't know what is going on with me. My acne had always been in control until the last 2 years.. Is this a punishment for calling other people ugly or teasing my friends who had acne previously??

Getting old

This week had been too tiring and stressful for me that my pimples broke out quite severely again. Bleah.. I think I am getting too old that my body cannot handle this level of tiredness and stress anymore. When I was in secondary school up to university, my level of stress and tiredness was worse than now but my pimples never gave me such a great problem. Want to blame it on hormone but I think my hormone was raging more in my teenage days than nowadays. I have stayed away 100% from fast food and bubble tea for since January. I failed in the last few weeks in terms of potato chips but I managed to stay away from Starbucks during Lent. I really think my pimples are affected by my stress.

My CP3 presentation on Monday went quite badly. I smiled and shook my head for most of the questions. It was quite useless to study. I chose to lodge my topic under infectious disease so I was nearly breaking down trying to remember various antibiotics, their mechanisms of action, their antibacterial coverage, renal dose adjustment bla bla bla. I did not have time to read on the other topics and the examiners were more interested in the other topics. Haiz.. I think it was definitely a failure unless they moderate the marks. To make things worse, the whole thing was overrun. Q & A was supposed to be 10 minutes and it became at least 30 minutes. That times 5 candidates. I was so agitated and eager to leave as I had dinner appointment. It was meant to be a farewell dinner for 2 of my juniors who left the company :'( I got a surprise that they also celebrated my birthday. Lol.. I am touched.

After doubting whether it was a right thing to do to fork out another $50 to change my flight, I think it was worth it. Haha.. I did not even have the time to properly pack my luggage. I was still packing my luggage when the taxi was already waiting for me. As much as I want to save my leave for travelling next year, I was so tired that I did not want any additional stress for an audit on Friday or running clinic on Thursday. Having said that, I think this short break is not a full break as I have to catch up on the work-related things that I am unable to clear during normal working hours.

I renewed my driving license yesterday. Ironically I had to take public transport to go to the place and to go home. Yeah I can't drive. It has been many years since the last time I took bajaj so it was a trip down to memory lane. Now the blue bajaj is much more comfortable: bigger and less noise than the old red bajaj that I used to take to go for my tuition. Oops that was like almost 15 years ago. Haha...

I went for my skin consultation again today. I was offered some injection to quickly bring down the acne but as long as it does not prevent future occurrence, I don't want any invasive or expensive procedures. It is not as if I am a model or I need to have my wedding that I need to have a perfect complexion right now. However, I decided to take the prescription for Roaccutane. I am still not sure if I want to take that because again, no point of taking such a strong medicine with lots of side effects for the whole body just for my face. I still have 2 more exams coming up so I shall see how things go after that. Hopefully the stronger creams that I was prescribed with today would help.

I also had a bit of wardrobe makeover today. I wanted to get just ONE new shirt for work because I am thinking of getting rid of my greyish/black shirt which is already a bit too tight and has no pocket. Being a stingy person, I refuse to spend more than Rp 150000 for a shirt. Well, I found a "buy 2 get 1 free" promotion so I ended up with 3 new shirts for Rp 330000 in total. What a great bargain! I decided to just bite the bullet and get slim fit as I hope it will ensure that I control my diet or risk myself looking like a sack of rice in them. Lol. I am still thinking about the green and pink shirts but the materials are too thin. I am very self conscious and I don't my nipples to be visible through the shirt.

I will be 28 years old in a few minutes time so I am indeed getting old...

Cinderella

Cinderella is not really my cup of tea. The cartoon was released in 'ancient' times that it is too outdated and unbelievable in the current era. In recent years, there are plenty of movies based on childhood fairy tales peppered with dark twists. Cinderella does not follow that path and is literally faithful to the original Disney's cartoon. Another point to give this movie a miss. How about Frozen Fever clip? I like Frozen but when I heard the new song from the clip, I don't think it is as good as the songs in original Frozen. I am not sure on why I still watched the movie in the end. It is not exactly helpful when a friend kept telling me "Just watch the trailer. It is basically the whole movie!".

Apparently it was not a wrong decision. There is magic in the movie and I came out of the cinema like a little boy who just had his first ever fairy tale. I am going to skip the story as it is exactly the same as the cartoon. No twists, no changes, no suprises. Credits to the director! Being faithful to the original cartoon can either mean very boring or very unrealistic. The movie does not focus on the parts which we expect to see when Cinderella comes to mind: how she is being mistreated by her stepmother and stepsisters which makes the whole story flows more smoothly and realistically. With less focus on the mistreatment, Cinderella's patience and kindness also become more believable. Cinderella speaks to the animals but the animals are not depicted talking to her again. Another good point considering realism. Humans do talk to animals/pets and animals/pets don't respond by talking in human's language you see. And it is a good choice to skip the Lucifer vs the mice parts.

I really love the setting, the environment, and the props. Every elements of fairy tales: big mansion, majestic castle, old towns, forests, etc are depicted beautifully. I think it would be fantastic to have a mansion where Cinderella lives! The next great thing is the effects when Fairy Godmother does her "bibbidi bobbidi boo" to transform Cinderella and when the effect of the magic vanishes at midnight. I think they are excellent without exaggeration to the point of unbelievable.

I don't know the actress who plays Cinderella but from the trailer, I thought she is so-so only. When watching the movie, I can't help to like her. I think she is a perfect representation of Cinderella. This may come out wrong: but I don't think her beauty is not the type that will attract people just from her look. Her beauty is more of the sweet-type and her beauty shines because of her kindness/personality. Aaaaah... What an ideal girl.. Haha.. Helena Bonham Carter did a great job as the Fairy Godmother although it is difficult to change the image of Fairy Godmother to a young lady. Haha.. She did a better job as when she disguised as the old lady. As always, she is always good when playing out-of-this-world characters. Cate Blanchett, as Lady Tremaine, is the other woman got me excited for this movie. I always know Galadriel can be a scary lady too. I definitely love her dresses. Unfortunately, the 2 stepsisters fail to shine and they fall into obscurity. They are dumb but they are not funny. I find the guy playing the prince is a bit too old but he does have a Disney prince aura.

In all, I think there is a magic in this movie and I really recommend this to everyone. I was prepared to be disappointed but I came out of the cinema filled with child-like joy. With all the realism, the message of "have courage and be kind" sounds very positive instead of being pretentious. And of course, other than believing in courage and kindness, a little bit of magic will be wonderful too.

Honestly, Cinderella is indeed an ideal girl that I am looking for: can work, can do housework, can ride a horse (drive), pretty, and kind-hearted. When will I ever find my Cinderella? Perhaps my Cinderella is still being locked somewhere by the evil stepmother.. Unfortunately, I am still not ready to search and rescue her yet...

By the way, I just realised that Lily James recorded "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" and Helena Bonham Carter recorded "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" but both songs were only played at the ending credits. They should have included this in the movie!! Grr.. And Lily James has a very sweet voice too.

The excitement from getting $88 from POSB Chinese New Year promotion was short-lived. I lost another $50 this morning. Call me an idiot if you wish. I lost $250 last week but it looks like being nice is equal to being stupid. I learnt to lock my drawer but I still did not lock my room when I shower. I thought the thief would not strike back so quickly. Although the proof remains 'weak', today I am very confident that my housemate is the thief. I had only $6 in my wallet yesterday and thus I withdrew another $100 in the evening. This time there is NO WAY I could drop it or I remembered wrongly. After withdrawing the money, I went home and I did not buy anything else. After showering this morning, I realised that he was already awake. The first thing I did was to check my wallet and my feeling was true: a note of $50 disappeared.

I informed my landlady and I am grateful that she finally decided to kick him out. I have to be careful and patient for another 1 month. Sigh.. To look it in a more positive light, it cost me $300 to get rid of him from the house. $300 is close to 10% of my monthly pay and it hurts. I was even considering making a police report or get police to find fingerprint evidence etc.

A part of me feels that it is my own stupidity. If I already suspect there is a thief, why did I not lock my room when I went to shower? Haiz.. Another part of me does not want to leave in suspicion and negativity. In the previous house for 2 years, I also did not lock my room when I went to toilet. Sometimes I did not even close the door properly and the wind would blow it open, yet I never lost anything. The thief stayed on the first level in the other hose. Now in this flat, we are all on the same level so it had to be him. Coincidences cannot happen every week that I always lose something every time he is already up when I am still in the toilet.

The more I think about this, the more I upset I become. I know I have to let it go and just count my blessings instead of dwelling in my misfortune. After all, everything belongs to God. What He gives, He can take it away..

Haiz.. Okay I shall try to be more positive. I was pleasantly surprised yesterday that someone actually complimented this FON (aka me) for being friendly and helpful. LMAO! FON is our code for full of nonsense or unreasonable customers. It was a huge surprise because generally I am very impatient, curt, and maintain a black face at work, especially towards rude + racist Mandarin-only speakers. Of course when someone is very nice and friendly, I will also reciprocate them but usually they are the minority. I think this is my first compliment in 3 over years. Haha.. The last time I had any compliment was during my training days when I was at retail. That was looong time ago when I was still young, fresh, and "passionate" with what I am doing.

Today someone asked for my name and I hope she wrote something good about me. Haha.. Shameless mode one. I have to thank God for what happened today. She was in a hurry because she had to go somewhere else. She curtly told me to just put all the medicines in the bag and no need to say anything. Bleah.. I feel very irritated with this kind of people. So I just showed each medicines and since she nodded for each of them, I thought everything was okay. As she was making payment, I don't know why I was prompted to check for any hospital record. Tadaaaa... There was a recent hospital visit and there were drastic changes to the medicines. I spoke to her again and I think she realised how close the danger from all the different medicines were and she agreed to wait for me to contact the doctor and repack the medicines accordingly. She even said sorry for being in a hurry earlier. I was quite 'shy' but I was glad that I told her that the credit was not mine but God's. Usually when someone refuses counselling and acts as if they know everything, I will also not do any further checks. I don't know why today I did it. She shared that she was in hurry to see her husband who had lung cancer and liver cirrhosis. It is quite sad considering her husband does not smoke and does not drink. When she heard my surname, she was quite 'shocked' as it is the same as her husband's.

Anyway heck about compliments! I am just glad that I am able to make an impact in someone's life and thank God for that.