JB

Today was my first time to JB. Haha.. That is like after 6 years+ in Singapore.. So near yet so far... Lol.. Nothing really fantastic though. It's typical of Asian cities.. just like Jakarta, Bangkok, Cambodia.. 1 thing for sure, the prices of the items are damn cheap. Haha.. It is like having 50% of Singapore items.. Too bad this does not apply to groceries. Lol..

I bought (more of my aunt bought for me) a pair of shoes. It was RM 120+ Wakaka... 70% sale.. The salesman said it was good for badminton.. Ooh la la.. too bad when my year 1 frens (oops they will be year 2 liao) ask me for badminton, my time table never fits. Hope that it gets better next sem and I can make use of my new shoes.

Other than that, the only significant thing to me is the curry puff.. I never really like curry puff. But the one that I had today was great. There was a SWEET taste in it.. That made it very much different from the boring hot and spicy curry puff.

And yesterday, 2 great artists passed away. First is Farrah Fawcet. She is one of the earlier Charlie's Angels member. Second is Michael Jackson. Woa.. It's true.. The King of Pop has died.. Never really liked his songs (except Heal the World) but he has great voice.. And his songs when he was still kids are quite good.. it's a pity that he died in the midst of his comeback plan in July.. And I wonder.. isn't 50 years old too young of an age to die because of a cardiac arrest??

Haiz.. I get the news about MJ death from my friends' Facebook status.. Cool eh? Facebook can be a new media :)

OMG.. So looong... Hahahaha...

I have been busy chionging with my game and have not been blogging even though my preceptorship has come to an end. Ohoho.. I am so glad that it is over. True that I hate it.. but I am glad that I was posted somewhere near and slack, have a nice preceptor and pharmacist technician to talk to, and surprisingly 1 of the locums is also very nice. Lol.. I really did not expect him to treat me ^o^ Woa.. that's nice.. But he is not nice because he treated me on the last day with him. He is quite nice to talk to and is quite up to date with the latest movies etc. Cool..

My file was submitted yesterday and yeah.. it is finally OVER.. I cleared up the files which are littering my desktop and now my desktop feels much emptier and cleaner hahaha...

It seems that I will not be going home for this holiday.. Or maybe never ever go back again.. -_- My mom decided to ignore me after the last message on monday morning. And I also do not bother about it. Tomorrow I will ask whether I am able to extend my vacation stay until the end of vacation. If cannot? Dunno lol.. Beg? Or stay in someone's house first? Lol..

I think some of my friends are wondering why I am being so stubborn. Isn't it better to just go home for 1 month and suffer for first 5 days? Lol.. The problem is not just that.. I am having some teenage angst. Lol.. I think after 22 years of being a good and obedient boy, I finally hit my puberty. Lol.. Nowadays, I feel very naughty and like to rebel.. against parents, against teachers, against authority etc. And I am tired being treated like a trophy.. or a long term investment.. by my parents. It's harsh and rude.. But I really feel neglected.. They only care about results.. and the results are connected to money. Woot.. Where is the care and the parenting? Didn't allow me to go home and ask me go Cambodia again? But this time force me to go home because they want to force me to go Pontianak and show me off.. Lol.. I am getting sick of all the attention ba.. Smile here and smile there.. If I am a celebrity act liddat never mind, at least got money. But now no money de lol.. But the worst is regarding my room being used for whatever thing without my permission.. It's my dad's house and so his room also.. but I think since it is my room (and my things inside), I deserve a notice+permission to be asked. No such thing done, so perhaps my prescence is no longer respected at home.. I have been completely erased from my place in my house..

Gosh.. I guess I am repeating what I wrote in the last post haha.. But still angry ba.. Oh ya and this time, I am not buying the argument about "God" and bla bla bla.. Well, I succumbed to the "will of God" thing when I came to Singapore.. And what is the result? Shit all the way.. Of course there are sweet moments here and there but shit is always a shit.. Will you eat shit when it has sugar here and there? Lol.. The sweet taste won't mask the shit taste/smell/feel/look.. haha...

And talking about shit.. my shit is black today >.< since I am not taking any supplements, based on my pharmacy knowledge, the only explanation of a black stool is a bleeding high up in GIT.. Oh yea.. Hopefully develop into internal haemorrhage (how to spell this damn thing?) and I will die.. Wakakaakaka...

Guess what is the age of the guy on the right (of the viewer)? He is just 1 year older than me.. Still look very young rite? Haha.. Just like me.. Still very cute even though already so old :p Too bad that I cannot sing and I cannot dance haha..

Family matters

The preceptorship is ending and it should be time of great celebration. Sadly, that is not the case for me. Jeez.. I will delay my flight home by one week or perhaps, I won't go back at all.. Sigh.. My dad really sucks.. Last week he said that he would not force me to go back to the village. But now.. well you know what.. Sacrifice has to be made.. I rather not going home and just screw my holidays than to screw everyone's holiday..

Sigh.. I am just an item for my parents.. not even considered a human being.. I am tired of being a source of attention and their source of pride.. I am tired of putting all the fake smile and gratitude for all the compliments my relatives give "so smart.." "so lucky.." "will have a bright future.." "so happy in Singapore..". Those words are meaningless.. All are bullshit.. I hate my life here.. I know I am not smart.. and my life is cursed to be stuck here.. bright future? So bright until I am blind perhaps..

I see my friends in Indonesia.. They have a happier life.. Many can drive, many can travel, many have girlfriends. And what do I get with all the "smart", "luck", and "bright future"? Rubbish!! I cannot drive, I am not allowed to travel, and don't even bother to talk about girlfriends.. I doubt that I have any real friends here.. Sigh..

I look at my sister. She is on job attachment in a pharma company already.. And what am I having right now? I am even shameful to admit that I am working.. I got no pay and it is not working.. What I get is just scolding day in and day out.. So far away from what I aspire to be..

I don't even have a place at my home.. I doubt that I should call that place home.. I cannot even have a say in my own room! My room is continuosly abused (used without my permission). My things are being moved around without my permission. I don't even know what the status of my manga and my toys right now. I doubt that someone will actually change the mothballs in my cupboard. There goes my thousands of dollars worth of books.

The latest breach to my privacy is regarding fastnet. I have no idea what the fuck it is.. I don't know whether it is a cable or it is a wireless. I don't know what a router is. Whatever it is, the bloody fastnet is being installed in my room WITHOUT my permission. Wow great.. What's even greater? I cannot use the bloody shit with my laptop!! Another reason for my sisters to abuse my room! and when I go back, it will just be a new source of dispute..

So how if PGP does not allow me to extend my vacation stay?? T_T

I am a prodigal son..
I am just a freak creature.. by accident sent to this sad sad life..

My Converse Bag

My Converse Bag was given to me by a group of friends as a birthday present when I was in JC1. That makes it 4 years old right now. Haha.. It is time to retire.. After washing and putting it in dryer twice, it has since lost its solid tone and became saggy.. The white parts (especially the strap) are beyond hope.. The colour cannot return to the original glorious white.. The last damage on the bag was a drop of mayonaisse+chilli+tomato+wasabi+etc combo. It occured during one of my friend's crazy birthday celebration.

So what makes me decided to change (aka buy a new bag)? This morning I found out that the zip was broken.. I could not zip the bag anymore.. Hence I bought a new bag.. However, it seems that my bag know I am going to throw it away soon. It played a prank on me!! Guess what, on the way home (after buying a new $44.95) bag, I could zip it back!!

But oh well.. Too bad.. I decide that it is time to discard the bag..

Sayonara my Converse bag.. You have done a great service.. in Singapore, Indonesia, Australia, ,Thailand, and Cambodia.. It's time for you to rest..

You have taught me "style".. though sling back will be hazardous to my back and shoulder bone in the future.. and you have taught me that next time, I need to get a bag which will not be so obviously seen when it ages.. That's why I am buying a black bag :)

The green hook is an additional one.. So as to distinguish it from other similar bags ^^

My heart aches when I see the sagginess and the wrinkles..
It is so difficult in deciding to throw you away as nowadays bags only have 1 front compartment.. T_T

Haiz.. Dean's List is out.. I failed to secure the 8 points.. I wasted my S/U. Sigh.. Why the fuck my pharmaco was shit.. The hunt for points begins again.. My biggest fear will be reality: must go for another YEP trip T_T.. Sad year is coming ahead.. If I go for YEP, there will be no more holidays.. Preceptorship and Korea are coming for next 3 mths break.. And after that.. final year.. no more holidays.. Worklife is ahead..

H1N1 do come and infect me.. There's no point living already.. I am really going crazy.. My mental really cannot take it..

Always cannot get what I want..
Always fail to be what I want to be..

If there is a thing called "fate", why are humans created in the first place? Our existance is just like a robot.. just do what the Creator want.. Might as well not created in the first place..

Disrupted time

I spent last Friday and Saturday with my dad who was transitting from Manila. An aunt was also here to see a doctor. Both of them gave me a lecture. Lol.. But I guess what my aunt told me was particularly true.. I have no direction or purpose in this life. That's why I am feeling so miserable. Sigh.. I think I have some mental problem. I was forced to grow up/mature when I was too young. That's why I think I have my childish thoughts.. to always wanna stay at home.. with my bed and with my toys.. and my stuff.. But oh well, how to change? The fact that something is wrong with me is just undeniable. It is quite difficult for me to change.. and just accept my life.. my destiny.. Now I am particularly understand what "not enough of childhood times" means.. Jeez.. I do feel that I have lost some of my youthful years.. some of my ages.. some of my life.. Haiz.. It's fate perhaps.. I am bound to spend my life in IMH sooner or later.. That's why I am in Singapore..

We ate dinner at Angus House and I would have to say that the steak was absolutely fantastic. It was so easy to chew.. the texture is really perfect to enjoy chewing and tasting it. Haha.. One funny thing is that the restaurant claims to be Japanese steak and pasta but the way they serve the meal is more like French fine dining. Haha.. The set meal was so expensive.. but now I will not question why the soup in Restaurant City looks so plain. I had a corn soup and my cousin had a carrot soup. In both, there was no single corn or carrot pieces. Haha.. I don't know how the food was cooked. The soups just looked plain yellow and orange, respectively, but the corn and carrot flavour/taste was quite original. Haha.. Finally found a new nice place to eat..

On Saturday, I went to PC fair since my dad was looking for a laptop for my elder sister. I felt a bit cheated since with $1200+, can already get nice nice computer. How come mine cost $2000+ last time.. Then I went back to acer booth and I saw the price for Travel Mate series was really $2000+ (though it was slashed to $1600+). I must do my research to find out what is really special about TM series that they cost a bomb. Haiz.. I only understand hard disk memory and RAM. The specification of the graphic card, sound card, and the dunno dunno what, I really dunno what. So cheated or not I also don't know. I shall do my research. If there is nothing special about TM series, I won't buy in school next time. haha.. Just buy dunno what type as long as it is cheap.. And no preset also ^^ Hoho...

Working on Sunday sucks.. I kept feeling as if it was a Monday. Had to wake up damn early so that I didn't miss mass as there was only 1 timing that I could attend. Yesterday was last day of rotation. And I got scolded by a fat elephant bitch.. (Not a pig.. because the bitch was really fat..). She was the one start talking to me (not as if I was offering "How can I help you?") and that started her verbal abuse after she realised that I was not the Pharmacist.. Haiz.. fucking bitch.. Lucky I continued on packing my danzen and not staring back rudely to the eyes of the bitch. Haha.. I wish her to get a hypertension, stroke, and diabetes. Then go to hell to get her hypothetical burn and cut wounds..

Last 4 days.. I can't wait to end.. and go back home ^^

I am counting down to the end of preceptorship and the beginning of my holidays. Hurray ^^

This week is the rotation week and I am rotated to Jurong Point. I don't like it to be honest. Firstly, I spend more travelling time (especially at night). Secondly, I cannot serve most (if not all) of the costumers there. Most speak Chinese.. or else.. I cannot figure out what the Bangla workers are trying to say. Haiz haiz... And worst, I get the impression that many people there are totally clueless about the role of pharmacist. They look very irritated when being asked questions and are like "Can you just give me the bloody medicine and stop asking so many questions?". So demoralising..

Well, on the bright side, there were 2 training sessions today. And due to distance factor, I spent a lot of "working" hours for transportation. Ohohoho.. And being not with my preceptor, I can be a bad boy a little bit. Haha.. She gives extra break time (when she eats for lunch) and of course the most important thing is that I can talk to her (same wavelength). Haha.. The staff there are generally more friendly thatn the staff at Vivo.

I am so happy because yesterday someone said that I am very friendly. Haha.. Much more friendly than my friends. I asked her how she knew my friends and she said that she went to other shops to carry out her work too. Lol.. People also say my look is very boyish.. I am just waiting for the word "cute" to appear. Haha..

I found a big plastic container box from one of the DIY shops in Jurong Point. Yay!! And I was lucky that the bus that came was a disabled bus.. Hence my box can enter the door. Lol.. I am still so lazy to pack up my stuff though..

Haiz.. after 1 damn bloody week of no internet.. finally the internet was fixed today!! Haiz haiz.. When it comes to service, they are damn bloody slow. But when it comes to money (even though it is only $2) they will call.. Someone called me because of wrong bill and I need to pay an extra $2 (by NETS somemore). Haiz.. stupid shit...

Tomorrow my dad will be in town for 3 days. Transiting from Manila.. Damn sian to be honest.. I need my rest T_T

And bad news: WHO upped the H1N1 alert to level 6!! I may need to change my PIL.. OMG!! I hope the virus doesn't kill!!

Hmm.. it has almost been 2 weeks.. I have been lazy to write.. or simply because I am just to stupid to burn all my time to play games.. The past few weeks had been terrible for me.. I don't know why I am being sooo unlucky lately..

First giant unlucky event which happened was my vacation room which had a non-working fan. I was damn pissed that they dared to call me to inform "Your room is ready" when the fan was dead. Wtf!! I was so angry that I went down to OSA to complain. Lucky it worked :) Next time I need to complain I would just go directly to OSA. PGP is just damn full of fucked up people. This cannot and that cannot and all are lies.. I felt quite bad to scold (the wrong) people, but I was so angry that I really lost control. After 1 night of getting heat rash thanks to the dumb temporary fan, I managed to move to my room. It was a blessing that my friend was checking out on the next day that I could take over his room (just 2 level above the damn room). Initially I was allocated a room at the other end of PGP and I was ready with my amunition to scold them again. After I shifted everything now they told me I could get another room at the opposite end. Well, that's over liao..

Work is also getting worse. Haha.. I guess I am just damn lazy and unmotivated. I think even my preceptor can sense and start to feel irritated with my low quality work, my low enthusiasm, and my I-don't-care attitude. Haiz.. who cares ba.. last 2.5 weeks.. and now I have to start focusing to clear my assignments. And guess what happen? I defrag-ed my laptop and my microsoft office became disfunctional. Wow.. Had to re-install and re-update and wasted time all the way to 2am+.. Hopefully it works well now.. I need to finish my PIL by tomorrow preferably.

All the defrag was initiated because I was desperate to play Cabal. Geez.. I am getting very pissed with the game.. It's time to say goodbye I think.. The fuck internet or the fuck laptop really made the game unplayable. Fuck..

Then came my neck strain.. I don't know whether it is because of work, or is it because the new chair in my new room is of different height from my old chair. I went to UHWC and bloody shit.. I was not given an MC. What the fuck la.. Ass hole.. really!

Haiz.. tired liao complain complain complain.. Ironically the only good thing this week is my results.. I am very much surprised and happy with my PR3107.. But the big ball of shit (as expected) was from pharmaco.. Oh well.. I guess no free 8 points for next year.. and no more PGP for my year 4. La la la...

The latest music which keeps my spirit high in the past tough few days :D