Mid-Sem Crisis

Haiz.. This mid-sem break is really a break for the teachers. It is not a break for me... I really cannot take it anymore. The workload this semester is just too much. I am really breaking down...

Okay... I guess I shall start this post from Quad-Fac Bash at Zouk on last Friday. It was a big disappointment. Well, I was not really looking forward to go if not to listen to a junior singing. The item was scrapped. And the other items were like xxxx. Haha... So it was a pretty waste of time. The pharmacy dance was enjoyable though (I am not being biased here by the way. If they sucked, I will say so). The free drink was also somewhat disappointing. Haha... At least I know what Zouk is like, and I enjoyed the dinner. I would not go again next year though. Haha...

I had some interesting experiences though. Firstly, I suspected that someone molested me -_-! I felt someone was doing something funny to my stomach. It was not like a friend playing prank on me as I felt as if the person was going to pickpocket my phone.. not the usual joking feeling. Well, if it was really a friend, I hope he/she would identify his/herself hoho... Secondly, as I was wearing a full black attire, at one point of time, I was so shocked that I saw a lot of white spots on my shirt. I thought they were dust -_-! It was actually the light... So embarassing... A testimony that I never went clubbing before lol... Thirdly, I was a bit scared when I left (and it was only about 10pm plus). The people outside the club were a bit scary for me.

Next was retreat for YEP. I had fun playing the games. I found the retreat was a waste of time though. Too much time was wasted on games (Games are good but if they are too much...) and people ended up sleeping late to discuss the important stuff. Oh well... The alien/spiderman/watermelon game was very very good :) I enjoyed the soccer (surprisingly) although a very embarassing incident happened to me. I was goalkeeping and there was a time when I threw the ball away. I jumped and threw... I ended up on all four. -_-... lucky nobody saw me fall... So unglam de lol haha... Oh ya... before soccer was captain's ball... And the first ball that I received hit me point blank on the cheek. Haiz...

I am a bit worried about Cambodia. It was already damn hot here.. Haiz... I had a trial on using my thermal sleeping bag to sleep. It was freaking HOT! I woke up one time that night with my whole back sweating like crazy. And despite the thickness of the sleeping bag, I still could not sleep well as I still could feel the floor touching my tailbone. Oh gosh...

Today was another sucky day for me. I travelled all the way to Toa Payoh to get a new pair of specs (actually for spare) and sandals. The bloody optic was closed for renovation and there were no sandals under $20. WHAT THE HELL!!! 1 day was wasted. I went to Orchard after that. Wanted to buy $111.30 Valkyrie Profile book. I was seriously considering it. I wanted to get a $40+ and 2 $13.20 Code Geass R2 books. Gosh... I guess when I am really stressed, I am really in obsessive compulsion of shopping. I managed to hold my horses. I will check and make sure that the Valkyrie Profile book is fully coloured and nice artwork/illustration before buying. Haha. I ended up buying none of them because I bought a book called "Clamp in Cardland". Haiz... The book did not really meet up to what I expected it to be so my heart is still a bit painful for the loss of $29.40. Oh ya... out of nowhere, I decided to waste $6.60 for coffee cinnamon drink from the Coffee Bean haha... I actually do not like and do not drink coffee.

In my sadness, I went to Wheelock Place. Outside the Apple Centre, it dawned upon me that I was pretty foolish to spend $700 for cca points (aka YEP). Haiz... with that money I can get PSP plus IPod plus the books I mentioned above. T_T.... I guess the experiences from YEP would be priceless... Haiz...I am very stressed... I hate my parents... I hate cca points haiz...

So where is my story about studying? None... Because for Christ's sake... I haven't started any bloody revision work... My SP essay is also still 0% in progress. Haiz.. Chinese has become a chore for me... I cannot remember the words already... I really wanna give up... I am suicidal again...

Forgiveness

For the past few weeks, all the masses I attended always had the message of forgiveness. But I was still stubborn... until today. I do not know why. Today is the 24th Sunday of the Ordinary Week. The topic was really about forgiveness. Before the mass started, I read the readings first. And yes, I was really struck!! Ok, God, I will trust that it's your will. I shall forget the past and look into the future. I shall forgive.. Now the load in my heart was gone. I feel lighter =) The funny thing is that today the Church of Holy Cross was celebrating the Feast of the Exultation of the Holy Cross. Thus the 24th Sunday readings were not used. Funny... really funny indeed... though the church was not celebrating the 24th Ordinary Sunday, the short passage in the bulletin was about that: forgiveness. So if not because of it, I would not be inspired to open the missal book, I would not read it...

Well, below is the passage from the bulletin:

A New Lease on Life

Most of us have experienced how difficult it is to forgive. It is almost impossible. In Old English, it means "give to the uttermost", "extremely", "as far as you can go". Isn't that what it really is, going all the way? Wo can forget the hurt? Yet we should. Who doesn't see and feel the scars and keep the memories? And yet we shouldn't. Think of God: when He forgives, the evil belongs to the past. It is gone. God keeps no accounts. He want us to think only the future. Jesus did not condemn but gave new chances.

Ok, God! You won :p and Thanks!

I feel quite blessed this weekend. After the gruesome Thursday and Friday, I felt to fresh after sleeping for 10 hours on Friday night. Lol. The stress also at least put some urgency in me to do my schoolwork. I finished my fact sheet on Friday night, and my Chinese compo-blog was up by yesterday evening. At night, I mugged Econs too. Yay! I hope tonight I can go to Lecture 3-5 and hopefully I can understand with the help of the book.

Oh ya, my chinese compo-blog is here. Please leave comments :)

Depressing life

Just a quick update from me in the midst of my busy and sucky school life. I am still recovering from my 6 in 1 sickness last week (lethargy, headache, gastric, sore throat, runny nose, cough). I was procrastinating for my fact sheet. It was really the problem! After the due date was over, I felt much lighter.

This week will be another tough one. I have Chinese quiz and Pharmacostats CA. I am not well prepared for that (and here I am blogging and playing new games at facebook -_-). I just finished my proposal for my cca and I still have to crap something out for the topic of my SP1203 essay. Haiz... I wanna cry seeing the schedule for next week. Final submission of fact sheet and first draft of essay. SP1203 is really a sick shit :( I hate it I loathe it!! No matter how nice the teacher is, the workload is just too much. On top of that, there is chinese blog assignment, chinese character writing, chinese conversation exercise, chinese project 2.

I am feeling quite down as my practicals have been failing lately. I did not get a nice cream last week and today something went wrong with my test limit. Haiz... I retried for both but both failed. I am a bit worried of practical exams. Haiz...

Oh my God... I really need you to survive... I have so much on my plate that I sacrifice my prayer time. This is fatal! I think because I am not in inner peace, my life becomes chaotic. I shall try to mend and repair my sad pathetic depressing life.