Sunday, April 1, 2018

When things go wrong from all sides

Work has been so shit lately and that makes the wait for the trip home this time even more unbearable. I just want to go home and leave everything about work behind.

After a few months of silence and relative peace, suddenly the topic of my project surfaced again. Not only sudden, everything also happened fast and furiously. I had people suddenly emailing and calling me to urgently schedule a meeting to get the project going again and I had people chasing after my reference table. So it is officially that I have re-do this project and the most irritating thing is the fact that my interventions have already been adopted and spread for the use organisation-wide. I got bombarded like shit, I had to re-do, and yet I am considered failed and I have to re-do the whole thing.

Manpower situation at work is also shit and someone made a complaint about empty counter. Honestly I cannot be fucking be bothered about the asshole and I was glad that he asked for a written reply so that was for my HQ to settle. I really hate this kind of self-entitled people. If you think you are so damn good and capable, come and apply work in this company (provided you can be accepted in the first place).

A colleague left to return to the Philippines last week. It was a bitter sweet farewell. As a foreigner, I am quite happy (and envious) that he is able to chase after his other dreams instead of getting stuck here. It is still sad because I have known him since the first day of work here. Though I managed to tahan in front of him, I almost teared on the bus on my way home. I am soft in the heart after all.

During farewell dinner, I had a good chat with staff and ignorance is bliss. Sigh.. now I know how much shit is going on among staff or even with colleagues. I think one thing that I need to learn is that I am not responsible and not in control of every single thing that is happening at work so I should learn not to get too bothered with all of these things. I have enough shit going on for myself.

I went to church for Easter mass today and perhaps the push was partly due to all the shit in my life currently. I do not think that the mass did much good anyway because I was surrounded by other people who drove me mad and I had to keep reminding myself that that church is full of sinners (including myself) so I should not be too upset with the inconsiderate people around.

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