Thursday, February 1, 2018

Monster at work

OMG OMG OMG my prayer is answered. The staff who asked for flexible work arrangement did not require it anymore so there is no further need of Q & A, managing expectations, etc. Halleluya!! 

Today is the last day for another staff and I feel quite emo about it. I am just in this position for less than half a year and I already "sacked" 2 people. Sigh.. Although on paper, they resigned voluntarily, I knew the real reason is still because they cannot meet the job requirements despite all the time and effort spent on their training. Again it is not my fault but I cannot help but feel like I am the monster since I was the one doing all the communication for these unpleasant things. Haiz.. If I wanted, I could gave them more or longer chance but I know that is not fair for the rest to shoulder their incompetence. I serious really hate this fucking job. I get to do all these evil things, collect all the bad karmas and bad mouthing behind my back, and I get nothing in return.

After 2 months of peace, I suddenly received an email on Monday asking how I am progressing with my epic fail project. I was like what the heck. I did not even get any official feedback about my project and I am completely lost. The next day I received the same question from another person. Siao liao I know shit starts stirring again. With nothing official, I only know of hearsay that I am supposed to ask my clinic head for support for the project but I am not supposed to tell him that someone is asking me to ask him. I was like what the hell man. You are asking me to ask something on someone else's behalf when I don't know head or tail about this and I am not supposed to say why I suddenly ask this also. Man.. this is really a politic game that I wish to avoid.

I attended a workshop to prepare for staff appraisal this year and knowing more and more how things work here, I just get more and more demoralised. So an "upgrade" is for those who have shown mastery at current role while a "promotion" is for those who have potential to take up more shit. Thus "promotion" is not a reward for work well done because that reward is through yearly performance bonus. The sad thing is no matter how nice things are lined up, there is always an exception for the pets aka those that the bosses love. That just confirms my negativity that it does not matter how well I do my things because what ultimately matters is whether I am in the bosses' good book which I am not because I refuse to boot lick.

The only thing that keeps me sane this week is meeting my friend yesterday. I did not expect that she would be going home this CNY and I was expecting it would be a long time to ever meet her again after she got married and moved to Korea last year. I proposed to meet for dinner at Picnic at Wisma Atria. I have always wanted to try it and somehow the name that got stuck to my mind was Green Market. As I was working and my friend was there first, she was wondering where the heck Green Market was. Lol. Anyway the food there were quite expensive. I tried Omakase Burger with the Cheese Fries but at least they were filling.

Her niece was coming along so she was quite a distraction as she kept running around and we had to keep an eye for her. Not exactly a good thing for my mood as I was already tired with work and all that. But hey it is still a good thing that friendship does not change even after marriage. Lol.

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