Monday, January 1, 2018

Reflecting 2017

I am too lazy to even to type and decorate my own Happy New Year lol
Better late than never. I refused to go out for dinner because I am tired and I want to rest for my flight tomorrow. So now while waiting for my dinner, I shall do what I should have done yesterday. Lol. 2017 was a super busy, happening, and tiring year for me.

Although I traveled more frequently this year, I spent so few days at home this year. My April holiday was spent on the road travelling to get e-passport and to apply visa waiver to Japan. My December holiday was essentially the Tokyo holiday. I certainly enjoyed the trips to Osaka in September and the recent one to Tokyo but no matter how fun these overseas trips are, nothing beats slacking at home with family. The trips allowed me to try several new experiences such as traveling solo (although it was only for 1 day at Osaka), bathing in onsen, experiencing winter, and staying in Disneyland. In fact, I dare to say that doing these are like dreams come true.

Of course the frequent trips put a dent in my finance lol. While my spending for toys is greatly diminished because I have little time to pick up new series as well as space issues, the money has to go somewhere and it was the traveling. On top of that, I am sad to admit that I lost about $4000 for my crowdfunding investment at moolahsense. It is a price and lesson for taking risks. Although it certainly helps to have a mentality "to invest what I can afford to lose", it is still painful. 

2017 is perhaps a year in which I managed to fulfill my new year resolution: gym. Somehow I survived gym and am still going for 4-5 sessions per week. I have not achieved my weight loss because controlling diet is impossible for me :( But definitely gym helps to maintain my weight and prevent it from going to 70. This year I also joined a public run event. I have always wanted to experience it once and I am glad to do that this year.

Another record I made in 2017 is not going to church at all. Gym really takes up precious time and on Sundays I have to sacrifice church. Of course this is just an excuse actually. Deep inside, I have some resentment towards God for things which are happening in my life. Some things about me just do not change. When things do not go my way, I run away from God instead of turning to Him. I don't know if I will maintain this or if I should repent in 2018. Having said that, I surprise myself that I am still able to maintain my once a month volunteering. There were times that I really felt like just not go but after dragging my feet, I always felt refreshed at the end of the session. Again and again I am reminded that I signed up for this volunteering activity because they need healthcare worker and I should really play this role as others (without license) will not be able to do this role even if they want.

The biggest bummer this year is work. I hate my job, I want to quit, but there is noone else wants to employ me. I sort of gave up finding job earlier this year after getting sick of adjusting my CV and cover letters at least 4x and getting nothing. In the middle of the year, I had not choice but to become "manager". It sucks doing more work that I do not like and there is no benefit like higher pay. With all the favouritism that is going on, what is the point of working hard? I was so happy and excited with my project before it became a big failure and a big shame. Sigh.. These things were pulling me away from what I like the most: teaching. I feel so bad to my preceptee because I did not spend as much time as I should have been.

The only good thing about work this year will be my involvement in media. For the hypoglycemia project, I volunteered to act for a video showcase. I volunteered before the arrow came to me eventually so it would be a bit more dignified to volunteer myself. The surprise was when I was asked to share the interview portion yet. Gosh.. that was really not easy and a reality check that I cannot be a famous person lol. I watched the video and while the acting was okay, the interview was horrible. My accent is actually still very thick. I had another video about fall prevention which I never managed to watch. A part of me is curious but another part of me does not want to see how embarrassing it is as this one had the unscripted speech being recorded as well. The last one was about being asked to be photographed for the pharmacists' day. I am actually quite vain so I was quite sad that noone tagged me and shared it on my facebook so a lot of people would not know that I was there. I know that is very thick skin of me to say this. Hahaha..

The ultimate biggest shit that I have in 2017 goes to my Dell laptop's death. Although it is revived now, the greatest loss is my excel file about my finance records for the past many years. I basically lost all my investment records and I will not be able to track if they are making profits or loss. I lost all the prices of my toys so if I want to sell some of them, I will not know how much I should sell to get how much profit.

2017 was a year of adventure and exploration for me although for most of the year, I am basically drowned with the negativity from work. I guess 2018 cannot be worse than 2017 so I am hoping that I can still maintain my gym and my volunteering while improving on my diet and my acceptance towards all the daily work shit. I also will not think too much about saving my leave as I really want to spend more time holidaying at home this year. Going back to church? I suppose that will be the hardest decision to make.

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