Envy

When I look at myself, I can be a good person, count my blessings, and be thankful to God for everything that He has given me. When I start to look around, I start to compare, and envy starts to creep in. Although I was feeling very happy and grateful with my promotion a few weeks ago, I am feeling very sore after knowing someone of my junior is also promoted this year.

Honestly, nothing is wrong with me and nothing is wrong with him. Everything is wrong with the higher management. Firstly, I always thought that it is stated that a minimum 3 years experience is required before a promotion. He is only in the job for 2 years. So what makes him so special? Some people start to wonder and everyone says the same thing: perhaps he does a lot of external things. But when we ask among ourselves "such as what?", noone has the answer. So precisely, what are his achievements that a lot of people are unaware of? Even my senior (who is no longer with the company now) did not get promoted after 2 years although she set up and lead a workgroup from the scratch.

Being promoted in 3 years is normal so I am normal. I am not too happy because I was hoping that I could be promoted earlier last year, at least in December. I have been placed in shitty conditions for the past 1.5 years and yes I shamelessly felt that I deserved something about it. The other branches have a few seniors but at my branch, I only have ONE who happens to be the manager. Thrust into such circumstances, I am forced to be the second-in-charge without any benefits. Sad isn't it? I don't want to boast my achievement but I won an award that noone in the company has ever won before and I did something quite big that everyone knew that I was doing that task. So why am I just being normal while the other guy got 'fast-tracked'? I knew he had an award for being excellent in customer service. If smile triumphs over achievements, it seems that this is not a company that I want to stay on.

I promise that by 1st August next year, I will prepare for my departure. I don't give a fuck for long term career whatsoever. I am shameless enough to say that I do have some talents and I have contributed in a medium way at least. I don't think I am being appreciated for what I worth so I might as well find something I like better or somewhere I will be appreciated. No point sacrificing my life and my sanity but remain poor and feeling shit like this.