Monday, September 30, 2013

I have enough of this life. God has been good, in fact very good, with me in this life that I am ready for the next life. Perhaps not really "ready" for the sins and spiritual stuff but if I die now, I will not have any regret of leaving my life now. My family is not perfect but I have experienced a good and loving family life despite me living away from them. I have been given a chance to live overseas so that is something to be grateful too. I don't really have friends but I am pretty satisfied with my pathetic social life now. Haha.. Nope, I don't need sex and wife and children, etc. It's okay. I had several good overseas trips and I have definitely had enough joy and happiness from my hobbies i.e toys, anime, games, etc. Yea.. I am good to go :)

Anyway, I don't mean this as an emo thing. I am honestly feeling grateful and satisfied with my life now. I am tired of endless rat race in this life. Everyday I wake up, go to work, earn money, go back home, sleep, and the cycle repeats itself. What is the point? Even with the money, I feel "emo" when I have to spend it for travelling. I am happy to spend money to buy toys, but I am desperately running out of space so that too will stop soon. So what am I working for? What will I use the money for? Relatives come and ask me whether I have a girlfriend bla bla bla.. I don't even feel like finding one or even think of settling down. Why should I prolong my suffering in the rat race? Bleah..

If there is such thing as reincarnation, I hope that I can be reborn as something else. I have had enough of being a working professional/office job/academia or whatever you wish to call my job now. If I can be reborn, I hope I can be a royalty: wealthy, live in a palace, etc. I hope I can be famous.. I hope I can be talented either in sports or perhaps as a celebrity.. Yep.. I don't mind dying now and being reborn 3x to experience each of this thing. Haha..

Okay, enough of this nonsense blabbering.. 3 more days before CQSC Level 2 exam and I am still halfway through the material T_T

And last thing, today is 30 September so it is the feast day of Saint Jerome, my patron Saint chosen during my baptism.

1 comment:

Shireen L. Platt said...

Stay strong, have some faith..the tide will always pass.