Super tired

My aunt had a heart attack a few weeks ago when I was still in Jakarta. She was at TTSH until last Friday. I have been visiting her few times a week since TTSH is near and I don't mind checking out Donki at Novena afterwards. Since my cousin is based in Australia now, I feel some sense of responsibility to visit my aunt more frequently as she does not have that many relatives from her side of the family here. After my uncle's passing, most of my aunt's relatives here are those from my uncle's side. Although another aunt is temporary here to take care of her, she can only travel if someone brings her. They all stay in Hougang-Punggol area so it is not that convenient for them to come to TTSH, just like how going to SKH was really troublesome for me that I did not visit my uncle that frequent previously. Not to mention that I also owe my aunt a huge favour when I was COVIDed when I stayed at her place last year so just visiting her in hospital is not a big deal.

My cousin reached here on last Wednesday. My aunt was transferred to NUH and had her bypass on Saturday. Visiting her at NUH is convenient too since my gym is at Holland Village. Convenience is one thing but reaching home close to 9pm is taking a toll on me. Not to mention restarting gym after few weeks break also feels more tiring than usual. I am surprised that I still can do pull-up while my arms are trembling with push-ups and 2 x 5kg dumbbells. Things used to be the reverse in the past.

I learn that NUH visiting system sucks as compared to TTSH. The SMS system does not work in NUH unless you try to tap in. The thing is that upon registering, the machine already states if the quota is full. Naturally people will not try to tap in and just wait for the SMS which never comes. I only learnt about it today. I tried to tap in and after that I received the SMS. On Sunday and yesterday, I never received any SMS when another visitor left. I don't know if TTSH system works the same way but at TTSH, the machine does not state if visitor quota is exceeded so people will naturally try to tap in. So even if it works similarly like NUH, everyone will get the SMS since the design flow ensures everyone will try to tap in.

The visiting hours at NUH is longer (12pm to 8pm) which I think is because they only two freaking lifts for all the visitors after they pass through the gantry. It will easily take 15-30 minutes just for one visitor to exit and the next one to go up. Thank goodness I used to have attachment there that I know the stairs. When my aunt was still in ICU level 2 on Sunday, I gave up waiting for the lift after 10 minutes. Her general ward is at level 6 so I have no choice but to use the lift now hahaha.. But it seems that the visitors on weekdays are lighter than on the weekends so the wait was not so bad yesterday. In comparison, TTSH has 6 lifts after the visitors' gantry.

I went there again today but did not see her. I waited for more than half an hour and there were still 3 visitors ahead of me so I decided to leave and give chance to others. After all, I managed to see my aunt on Sunday and yesterday. I am happy that she is looking good on her recovery yesterday. She is no longer on injectable painkillers so she is more alert and less groggy than when I saw her on Sunday.

After my dad, my aunt is another reminder for me to just enjoy life. Sigh.. My aunt does not look like someone with typical risks of heart attack, she eats healthily, she follows her medical appointments and medicines diligently, and she even measures her blood pressure daily at home. Yet, somehow she ends up with some blockage and this heart attack. Although I am worried more about my fats from my frequent potato chips and fast food, I know they will adversely affect my heart too. Some more I have not been doing any medical check up since I changed job in 2018! I suppose I deserve it if I get some cardiovascular diseases when I grow older and all I hope is just a quick painless death when that day comes. I know I won't regret my potato chips since even when my dad and my aunt have such a healthy lifestyle, diseases still come to find them.

I am happy that I managed to complete the Easter Novena yesterday. I contemplated not to start to begin with since I was not sure if I would have the time for the daily Mass even though online Mass okay, especially with my hospital visits. Thank God for that although at the same time, I need to buck up with my commitment for daily morning (upon waking up) and evening (before sleeping) prayers which I have been doing 'anyhow' and not as intentional as previously.

Age is just a number, Birthday is just a day

I went to gym today and the coach remarked that I looked so unexcited on my birthday. Yep, I am old and consider myself being over my lifespan expectation that birthday is just like any other day. I did not even take leave from work today and that was the first since I started working. I am not even in any mood for celebration that Ruffles and Nam Kee shumai were enough for my treat today. The shumai is special since I have stopped buying after they increased the price to $1 each. Hehe..

Initially I thought my birthday would be special since a new version of Genshin Impact is released today. Sadly, Baizhu is only coming out on the second half of this version so I cannot get him on my birthday. Aah... all that savings and now I am tempted to blow the primogems away for Nahida C2 instead.

And that is just a short post for a birthday. No wishy washy wish since I only pray that God will call me back soon and meanwhile, to grant me health until that day comes.

Easter

After few years of COVID, finally this is the Easter when I can participate physically at Church. It is always nice to see a more crowded than usual Mass attendance (which is the typical for Easter and Christmas). However, I was super annoyed today with the latecomers. Not only they disrupted me since they had to squeeze in after the Mass began, the parents on my left could not control their noisy kid. Grr... These are actually normal occurrences but I was just exceptionally annoyed today since due to the crowd, everyone was seated more closely to one another than usual.

In contrast to previous years, I felt my Good Friday was more solemn and meaningful this year. I did not attend the 3pm service which typically would be the most crowded. I went for the 12pm service and for the first time, I happily went for the Stations of the Cross at 1130am. Previously I always found it annoying having to come earlier for Good Friday service and always considered going for the Stations as only a mean to get a seat.

My guilt of completely butchering this year's Lent abstinence also contributes to the intention of at least making the Good Friday and Easter count. It is unfortunate that after I came back, there are promotions of $8.50 for 2 bags of Kettles and $8.50 for 2 bags of Ruffles. Since I already failed my abstinence from the second week of Lent, there is no reason to miss these promotions just for the last few days of Lent. Hahaha.. On the bright side, now I change my aim to completely avoid the potato chips until November because I want to be slim when I go to the Holy Land. In order to make this work, I will avoid tempting myself and will avoid walking to the potato chips aisles altogether.

I hope this is successful for at least one month before I continue with avoiding those bottled tea and coffee drinks until November too. I suspect they are another reason for my weight gain and they are also another Lenten abstinence that I failed to keep.

Easter is supposed to be a time of repentance and resurrection from sin and death. Sadly, I think I am beyond hope. Instead of repenting, I actually pray that I can quickly die in order to enjoy the resurrection. After all, how to  join Jesus in his resurrection if I have not died to begin with.

Statues binge!

I have sort of lost track with toys collection, especially with all the production delays thanks to COVID. However, it seemed that COVID is over now and things are getting back to normal. Somehow this morning was the first time -after a looong time- a Tsume-related post appeared on my facebook newsfeed. The pre-order for HQS+ Ikki just started yesterday and although I did not collect HQS+, that post poked me to check out if there have been other development. To my horror, I missed Aries Mu HQS whose pre-order opened in late January and was already sold out, including in the local shop (Figmation) where I have been getting my Tsume statues of.

As I was searching for alternative toy shop, I even came across other licensed Saint Seiya statues. I was tempted to get Aries Mu from Zodiakos, which also comes with Kiki, as an alternative since I missed Tsume HQS. Thank God, Figmation was somehow able to find me a pre-order slot so I managed to get one.

I also found out that Tsume also had the pre-orders for Ikigai series of Virgo Shaka and Alioth Epsilon Fenrir in December last year. Like wow.. suddenly there are so many incoming things. I am not interested in the no famous character such as this Fenrir who I cannot even remember in which arc he appears. Lol. Virgo Shaka HQS is the very first Tsume statue I own and I do not intend to collect duplicate. Nonetheless, I decided to also get the Ikigai since my HQS statue is already in a bad state due to its age as well as the older technology and material to produce it. The gold cloth has lost its shimmer (even though it is displayed in exactly same table as my other Saint Seiya HQS statues). When I am dusting, I know some parts are coming apart thanks to somehow its very heavy torso. As I mentioned, older technology. In case the HQS is really a goner, at least I have the Ikigai as a replacement. Since it was also already sold out, I would not be too upset if I could not get one but Figmation was able to find an extra stock for me too. Hehe..

Unfortunately, the search for Aries Mu HQS also resulted in collateral damages. It made me discover other shops and miscellaneous garage kits. Bleah.. I never looked into garage kits anymore after my disastrious attempt 1 and attempt 2 few years ago. Sigh too bad I am so into Genshin Impact nowadays that I don't mind taking a chance with garage kits again. Let's see how they turn out.

It is so scary how I just blew few thousands within a day, despite many months of not looking and buying toys. This reminds me of my Lenten failure again: tahan all the temptations for several days and they all come back with a vengeance once I fail to resist.

Trip to the Holy Land (Discernment)

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I have the curiosity and the desire to visit the Holy Land. When I knew that previously Landings had ever organised such trip, I wondered when it would happen again. My prayer has been answered as there will be one this year. However when it was announced, I started to have second thoughts because of the cost, time (whether my boss would allow me to take leave since it will be close to the usual end of year appraisal periods) and visa.

Initially I did not my name, not even to the 'discerning' list, but I still attended the online briefing session. After seeing some photos of the places from the previous trip, all my touristy desires disappeared. Honestly, the places are not pretty and it is like going to some kampong. That is actually not a bad thing since I will not be to preoccupied with taking photos and I can have the pilgrim mindset, rather than a tourist mindset.

On the other side, I had new worry after seeing those attending the briefing. I hardly know any of them and there are some that I prefer to avoid. Hence, who would I be sharing room with if I were to go? And similar to the trip that my parents had before COVID, generally people who are interested to go to the Holy Land are the older people. It is true to the notion that we prefer to have fun and go to touristy destination when we are young. We only start thinking about pilgrimage when we are nearer to the end of life. By then the body may already be old and sick and may not be the best for the terrain there. It got me thinking that I should go while my body is still able. A part of me also felt regretful that I did not join my parents a few years ago and that would have been my last trip with my dad.

In addition, as part of the pilgrimage experience, everyone is expected to contribute in the things that will be required or we will do such as daily Mass, sharing, reflections, publications. Seeing the lack of young people and males, perhaps I would have the chance to be an altar server? Hahaha.. That is something I never experience and it will be another once-in-a-lifetime experience on top of the pilgrimage itself.

Before I went on leave, I decided to try my luck asking my boss if I would be allowed to take leave during the period. I was surprised that my boss was so excited and encouraged me to go while I have the opportunity since it is not a typical tourist place that people would go. Wow, even God helps to clear this obstacle.

During this holiday doing nothing at home, I make up my mind that the cost is not an issue. I will earn back the money but the opportunity may not come again. While yes it is much more expensive than what my parents paid for their trip, it is not surprising since all the air tickets this year are still so expensive regardless of the destination.

The biggest bug bear is the visa application, especially with one of the required documents which I don't know how to get: an invitation letter from someone in Israel. I decided to ask the person organising and he shared not to worry since there were Indonesians who joined the trip before. The travel agency organising this will get the letter. Since Singaporeans also require visa to Jordan, that will be taken care for the whole group. With that, the last of my worries are settled. I decided to go and I am glad that it is not too late for me and I am still within the quota of 30 people.

So for now, all that I can do is praying so that I can get my visa, I can have a good roommate and I can have memorable and God-filled experience there, especially if I really have a chance to be an altar server. Hehe.. I have done playing music, being a lector, and writing bulletins so these 'areas of contributions' are not that exciting for me.

Be salt, not salty

My aunt has returned from Australia and to make up for the loss of CNY steamboat, she held Cap Go Meh steamboat instead. Honestly I felt lazy to go because I preferred sleeping in on Sunday but she took care of me when I was covid-ed :( So I could not that be that ungrateful. I decided to come earlier rather than going home first after morning Mass and my gym. I tried to delay my arrival buy getting a cup of yuan yang at Hougang Mall which only gave me only half an hour. Not worth breaking my promise to start cutting down on such drinks. Oh well, the price ($2.30) was 'just nice' for me to spend my 30 cents coins. Anyway I felt like an idiot because the drink stall was very advance that the staff did not handle the money and I was supposed to put it into a cash deposit machine which I did not see. The staff was not clear with her instruction and the cash deposit machine position was very low that I did not see it until the customer behind me told me.

I planned to have lunch and then quickly go home. Unfortunately, one of my cousins only arrived past 2pm. After that, we 'played' Black Jack until 630pm. With a blink of an eye, I ended up with having steamboat for both lunch and dinner. I ran out of my luck because I spent $2.50 for the Black Jack. Haha.. It was gambling for fun and I was the worst loser. The funny thing was that every time I wanted to give up playing by betting all that I had remaining, I ended up winning again and the game continued on dragging. At one point I was down to 20 cents before reaching $1.40 somehow. So yeah, that's why I do not gamble, I do not buy 4D or toto etc because usually I don't have the luck for this kind of thing. Just gambling my luck with my gacha games is enough for me lol.

Now I do not regret buying my blue Bugs Bunny shirt from Cotton On which I thought was not CNY-enough. Blue represents water nicely and this year is the year of water rabbit. The shirt received good comments from some colleagues during the CNY lunch and some people during the steamboat just now.

Today's gospel provides me a lot of comfort and gives me a good perspective to the cliche 'Be salt of the earth... Be light of the world...'. One part of the homily which caught my interest is that the being salt and being light also mean not to draw the attention to ourselves. Salt is present to give flavour or to preserve the food. Light is present so that we can see things around us. I agree and expand it to the fact that if people can notice salt in the food, that means the food is too salty and the salt basically ruins the food, rather than enhancing it. Similarly if a light is too bright, it ends up blinding or even burning. That is exactly what I want to shove down to the people serving in church but forget if they are doing God's work or they are just doing things for the sake of themselves.

Time to wander again

I had another random dream which made me wonder if it was a continuation of  my prayer to ask for direction in life. Unlike the previous one, it was very short. I was in a fair of various religious congregations and that was it. I was not approaching any booth and no actual religious congregation names caught my attention. I suppose it was clear that I was not directed to any.

Ironically, this very week I decided to stop going to my Landings weekly sessions at least for the next 2-3 months. After my bitter experience with my friend in secondary school about the hostel chapel, I decided to avoid any church ministry. I gave it a second chance and this second time proves the same thing: working with (some) church people sucks.

Some may become over-zealous in pleasing God until they forget that they are putting their own ego first and think that their contribution is their achievement. That really turns me off. Basically one person replied to me sarcastically because I disagreed with her. It was just over one sheet of paper and I thought her response was simply over-the-top. I was not surprised since I knew from her reflection from the previous Run, serving is her joy and pride. I am just here to help out so it is better for me to get out. There is no point doing church stuff if it makes me even further from God.

If I were to follow my emotion, I would reply with sarcasm on the spot and left the group chat immediately. I decided to hold on and think of a more graceful way to exit because I do not want to create unnecessary drama and headache to the rest. I think God also agrees that I should leave since I encountered a random Youtube video which let me know that it is okay to retreat and hide first when facing troubles or difficulties in carrying out God's work: just like how David hid from Saul when the latter tried to kill him, instead of fighting him head's on. That gives me the assurance that yeah, I have to leave for now. Perhaps I am also burned out but have been forcing myself to come every Monday just to show face for the new people from my previous group. If I stray too far, I believe that just like Jonah, God will send me the whale to swallow and vomit me back to where I should be.

Initially my plan was to wait after 2 weeks as evident that I am not able to come for the past 2 weeks and I will be busy for the next few weeks with work and going home etc so I shall leave the group first. I get an idea from my office to advance my plan. At the end of February, my boss is inviting some people from other countries to come here for discussion. Since we are the HQ and the host, we will bring them out for dinner on a Monday. Hehe.. I use that as a reason that different teams from different countries will take turns every week that every Monday I will have office dinner to attend to.

I think the coordinator is not so gullible and will suspect something, especially since I refuse his offer to be added back to the group even if I am not expected to reply when I am not around. Hehe but I am not planning to ruin everything and will just leave that as my reason. I don't know if anyone else will sense something after I exited. I don't care but I hope so hahaha... If it causes some drama, then I have exacted my revenge. If it does not, I still meet my goal to excuse myself from the team.

I normally do not have the luck to win in lucky draws so I was surprised when I won again yesterday during my office's CNY lunch. This is the second streak after the Christmas party at where I am volunteering. I don't know if I am lucky or unlucky because I think I won the 13th prize today lol. It is $30 and adding the $10 door prize, I got $40 angpau in total. 4 is not a good number in Chinese culture. So yeah. Haha..

I wonder if my luck would continue for 12 million TOTO. I don't mind trying my luck but I am only willing to buy online. No way I will be queueing lol. It seems that my luck already runs out because to open a Singapore Pools online, it takes up to 2 working days for verification. I was so determined that I even did the video call verification when the automatic facial verification kept failing. It is very rare for me to turn on my laptop camera so I really went the distance to even do the video call to do the verification. The draw will be over in 1.5 hours time and my online account is still unverified now. Oh well.

Dropped the ball again

It is not surprising nor unexpected that I already broke the CNY resolutions right from the second day of CNY. I was contemplating if I should order delivery for lunch but I decided not to. Many eateries were still not open and the closest option that I almost ordered cost almost $30. I went to recce Thomson Plaza and ironically, my lunch at The Grumpy Bear ended up even more expensive than $30. Usually they have 40-50% off at Deliveroo so I really did not expect it would be that expensive. Haiz.. The chicken cutlet was unique but too little meat that made it rather expensive. The milkshake was horrible and still not worth it even after they gave me an extra glass. They said they made too much and there might not be crowd due to day 2 CNY so might as well give me the extra than throwing it away.

On the day after, I had Long John's Silver again. The same exact menu (3 pcs chicken set meal plus their cheesy chips) that I had on CNY eve. I also had my usual Popeyes lunch after my volunteering session yesterday which made me realise that Long John's Silver is more value for money. From next week onwards, I will check if there will be seats there and that will be my new Saturday lunch menu. Ooops.. I just remember that from February onwards, the shift timing is shortened to be until 12pm so maybe I would not be so hungry that I need a dine-in lunch which means I no longer need these fast food anymore.

Yesterday also marked my first time doing CNY visit to a non-relative in more than a decade. The last time I did that was when my rental place was at the landed house located only one street away from my friend's house. I was quite touched to be invited because I am quite antisocial in Landings and do not expect to be counted as someone to be in their circle. Haha.. Some more I am not musically inclined and sing karaoke. Anyway, the pizza, Arnold's fried chicken and durian for dinner also add to the plethora of junk food this week. My throat was dry this morning but the durian made it worth the suffering.

Yet I still had Ruffles for dinner. Yeah, I pledged not to buy potato chips that cost more than $4 and the promotion this week is for 3 packs of Ruffles for $12. I saw and managed to resist on Friday but I gave up yesterday. Previous attempt to resist was useless since it made me resort to alternatives: chewable candies like Yupi kind. I also ate instant noodle again today :( I did not have enough sleep last night although I am glad I still managed to wake up and stay awake for 7am mass today. My intention was a light lunch with the instant noodle and one bread so that I could go for gym after that. The gym also did not happen because I decided to pay back some sleep and then to play game in the evening. It has been indeed a double whammy with all the junk food intake and yet not gym-ing enough.

The best thing about this CNY long break was my catch up with Genshin Impact. Although I am playing it daily, I am really falling behind with the optional quests since Sumeru introduction. So there are like more than 6 months worth of content to catch up. I only managed to clear 2 hahaha.. Gosh.. Honestly I do not enjoy Sumeru quests as much as Inazuma quests. There is too much talking with Sumeru quests and they are not really related to the characters or the main story. The quests feel like for the sake of unlocking new areas and getting the pathetic primogems from the chests. I thank God for my luck with this recent patch since I managed to win 50/50 for Al-Haitham and his signature weapon too. Yes to the green man and his green sword. This is also my second 5-star sword and the first with attack stats since previously my only 5-star sword is Nilou's sword whose secondary HP stat is only useful for her.

Still related to Genshin, I did a random internet quiz about Which Genshin Impact Character are You? last year. Usually this kind of random quiz is kinda rubbish and just for fun. However, I keep a screenshot for this because I am surprised that the result is kinda accurate for me. Because of this quiz, I actually tried to play more with Sayu but too bad, I just cannot click with her character design and gameplay lol. Zhong Li + Wanderer + Alhaitham are my favourite characters for now. The fourth one should be Baizhu and unfortunately, the four of them has no synergy for the battle at all. Haha..

Hoppy New Year tu You

I know it is cringey but 'hoppy', 'tu' and 'tu'gether are some of the cringey rabbit-y puns that I have seen in some ads this year. As a Catholic, I should not believe in superstitions such as zodiac or horoscope readings. However, I grew up reading such things so it kinds of becoming a habit. Since I no longer need to buy the yearly book for my dad anymore, I don't really follow or actively search for such readings but I don't mind reading when I pass by those boards in shopping malls.

I am quite emo reading the one at Suntec which is the first one I read this year. I always thought that the zodiac of the year would have the best luck but this year is the complete opposite. Rabbit basically has the worst since it is 'fan Tai Sui' or directly clash with the Tai Sui. So yeah I am screwed. To make it worse, I am a pessimist who usually believes the bad things will happen but the good things will not. I spent this whole morning trying to find a friend who usually goes to temple to help me ward the bad luck. Hahaha.. I am sure if my dad is still around, he would settle this with usual person who helps him with the temple stuff at Pontianak. After all, my dad is also a rabbit.

I think the worst part is the recommendations. How can you ask people to donate blood just to get rid of bad luck or getting married and having children to have others sharing your back luck?

Believe it or not, the year indeed started on a bad note for me. I completely did not hear my morning alarm clock until the last snooze and I missed my 7am mass. Haiz.. I woke up because of the rain and it was already close to 7am. Ironic because initially I was jolted up to quickly close the windows near my laundry and I was still hoping that the rain would not prevent me from attending the 7am mass. I went for 930am mass and I could not focus with the noises from the latecomers as well as the meh choir.

After mass, I went to Suntec Donki for lunch. It has been a long time since I went out during CNY and I really missed the ancient times when CNY day 1 felt like a zombie city. While the traffic and the crowd are definitely lighter than usual, there are more open business and more people outside. Even the CNY fair at Junction 8 is still open wor.. Sigh.. I tempted myself again with the XM Studios' Mickey and friends CNY figurines but I managed to resist. I feel that resistance is getting futile. I even start to reason that $260 for the full set is reasonable. I just spent almost $100 for Bugs Bunny clothes last week and the most recent figurine on my pre-order (Xiao from Genshin Impact) is also more than $260. However, now that I am in my room and looking at my space, I don't have the place to display the figurines as well as to keep the boxes. So I know the wisest decision is not to buy and I should avoid going to that fair and tempting myself.

I suppose I can pat myself for successfully resisting to buy potato chips and bottled drinks at Donki just now, though I sort of cheated with a bottled drink to go with my lunch just now. It is time to start again with the new year resolutions. Even though I fail to keep them for the 2023 new year, now comes the second chance to have them as the resolutions for the Chinese new year.

Overwhelmed by negativities

I finally made peace with the fact that the prices of air tickets may not return to pre-COVID days anymore. I decided that I would use miles to redeem my flight back to Jakarta this March to spend almost 2 weeks of my expiring leave. It is painful to spend the miles I have been collecting for First Class just for Economy Class but I think it is worse to spend $500-$700 for Economy Class and it is worst to waste my expiring leave to do nothing here.

Sadly, I will not be going back for my birthday. From the day after my birthday, the ticket prices become more expensive. Apparently it is because the period is already close to Hari Raya which will be on 22 April this year. I am not going to use my miles for another Economy Class ticket.

Honestly, I was quite annoyed with my boss because initially I asked for permission to take my expiring leave for the last 2 weeks of March and continue with another 2 weeks for my birthday. At least it makes the cost of flight less painful. Well, my boss considered 1 month as too long. I really feel 'used' since if I am that important, I would not get the current treatment I have at work: the pathetic increment or the way she shared the annoying peer review feedback.

What irritated me more is knowing that she is planning to promote one of my team leads to become assistant manager. For the past 2 years, we have been wondering what that team lead is doing in terms of productivity. Even for the supposedly planning and organising stuff that he did not optimally do, I was the one tanking it. So what is the reason for his promotion then? I am not jealous that he is going to be promoted but I am unhappy with the message that she is sending. On my part, I feel the sense of injustice because I get nothing from tanking and covering his ass. Once he is promoted, his position will be the same as me so I will explicitly mention to my boss not to expect me to support the guy anymore, unless I am also promoted. It does not make sense for me to be supporting someone with the same position.

Few days after I redeemed my March ticket, I received an email that SQ will only be doing one final 6-month extension for miles expiring between Jan-Jun this year. That means I have over 100000 expiring miles. Sigh.. No choice but to plan to go to Japan to use the miles. Sadly, currently I can only find waitlists for First Class Saver. It is annoying that among so many daily flights, only a few are open for redemption. No wonder everything is also waitlist for First Class Saver or left with the Advantage. There are also no Suites for redemption to Japan. Sian.. Anyway my main aim is to experience The Private Room at Changi first so I am okay with First Class for now, provided if I can get. Haiz..

My new year resolution is completely trashed this week. Although I managed to resist bottled drinks, I had 2 cups of yuan yang this week sigh.. And I bought 5 packs of potato chips since I already finished the 2 cans of Donki potato chips which I bought with the intention for CNY stock. I actually finished one as dinner on Monday and I gave away the other can to my Landings friend. But on Tuesday after gym, I could not resist $3 for 4 packs of Meadows potato chips. Ironically, the discount was somehow not reflected at the cashier and I paid the full price ($1 each). I would not even buy if not because of the discount. I finished them in 2 days and that is why I bought another bag potato chips yesterday. This time it is for real for CNY lol. I also gave in to buy 2 bottles of drinks since I promised that I will start all over again tomorrow as CNY resolutions.

One good news from gym is that I just had my first back-to-back exercise days yesterday and today. Since the gym is closed for CNY, I decided to force myself to go again today. I was lucky because I could go due to system error: the slots which were supposed to be blocked off for the coaches' lunch time still appeared as available for booking. Haha.. No wonder somehow only these 2 slots were available until the very last minute. My strength for push up starts to recover and I tried the 7.5kg dumbbells again today. I have yet to regain the strength for pull up. Though I start to do jump pull again, I have not been able to do that for the full exercise and will request to regress to squat pull again halfway. Unfortunately none of these has any effect to my belly fats and weight :(

I delivered another presentation for an online seminar in Indonesia this morning. Yes not only it is a Saturday, it is also CNY eve. Well, they do not really celebrate CNY in Indonesia so that is why the seminar was this morning. Being my second time, I felt much more relax and confident with my delivery hehe.. Not to mention that the topic this time is very related to what I do for my daily work so I am more confident with the content too. I am very happy that the response was positive. One of the organisers even asked if we could keep in touch. Of course I don't mind to have future opportunity to give presentation. Even better if it is a sponsored one for me to fly home too.

Well the joy is short-lived because I know my boss is usually not keen on letting me do this kind of thing since it is more of helping other teams and not directly something that my boss' boss want to do. Anyway I have accepted that I would always get the short end of the stick since I am not the social butterfly kind at work. Just like how last year my colleague got to attend a conference in Bali and then came back with feedback that most people spoke Indonesian and it would have been better for someone like me to go next time. Pui... Should know from the start that even though it was an international conference, most attendees would still be from Indonesia ma. Some more it was still during initial period of COVID exit when international travel had not really returned to normal.

My aunt is not yet back from Australia so I have no visiting to do tonight. Sadly, my mood is completely ruined by my landlord who cooked this afternoon. Is it so difficult to fucking close the kitchen door fully??!! I even had to mop the oily kitchen floor since he would not and I am the one who will need to walk past the kitchen to go toilet. Sigh.. It is another reminder of fucked up my life of homelessness to bear this kind of thing since this is not my home after all.