Sad birthday, Happy Easter

I was so excited last year upon realising that in 2020 my birthday coincides with Easter. I was planning to have a good break home to have a double celebration. All hopes and dreams were dashed just because of tiny virus. My driving license expired on my birthday and since they did not allow me to renew it many months in advance when I went for my friend's wedding earlier this year, I have to say goodbye. There is no way I can pass the re-testing to get a new license.

Ironically, thanks to Easter, I did not feel as emo as expected. I think I am getting older that I cannot be bothered that much about birthday anymore and I was more excited for Easter haha.. I even watched the Easter Mass on Sunday despite already watching the Easter Vigil.

My parish Landings group attempted to start online activity via Zoom on Monday. It was my first time using Zoom as an active participant and I initially could not figure out how to get the microphone working. Even though it was not muted, it was set to minimum so it appeared as if not working. I was too shy to turn on my camera as I did not want my background (toy collection) to be visible. Zoom has a nice picture of changing the background to their background but I have not figured out how haha... I am quite noob but at least thanks to experience with Teams at work, I am not that lost for online meetings -one skill I will not get if I did not change job.

On Tuesday, my laptop frustrated me again. Google Chrome spiked my disk usage to 100% and crashed. I could not fix it so I decided to uninstall to reinstall. I could not even get it to reinstall because of the disk usage sigh... Somehow on Wednesday, I could reinstall and things seem to be okay now. This fucking laptop is barely 4 years old and keeps driving me crazy. It is a wonder how my previous laptop lasted for a decade. Is it because of Dell? Is it because of Windows 10? Is it because I tried to save the battery life by not plugging in so sometimes it is forced to shut down when I turn off the power point before the machine completely turns down? Since I already have an office laptop now, there will be no need for personal laptop for work so there is no reason for me to save battery life anymore and I decide to just plug in all the way. Let's see if things will be better.

I am amused seeing so many people getting apeshit over partial lockdown. I am actually enjoying myself. Today was my first time going out in 10 days to replenish my fruits. I actually did not need to go out since I still could have my cereal for dinners but my main reason to go out was to withdraw cash for my rental payment. Honestly I did not feel that the road was quieter than usual. The mall was emptier than usual and I enjoyed it.

Ironically, many shelves were empty (is this a sign of food supply disruption). With Lent over, the temptation to get my diet back to the wrong track is so high. Thanks to inertia now it favours keeping to my Lenten discipline. Even when I wanted to get potato chips and sweet drinks, nothing was on offer. Lol... Obviously with most people stuck at home, people would be stocking up on these tidbits so there is no need to put them on sale and the shelves are also partially empty. I was tempted for bubble tea but decided not to get it and my clean sheet still continues.

There is still no progress towards 60kg for more than a week and I am slowly losing steam. Suprisingly I am still able to consistently doing the home exercises although without the weights, half of the movements is like 'nothing'. Now the biggest struggle is not to over-order for lunch and just to meet the bare minimum. Haiz I promise to be disciplined again next week. Today I bought food for dinner since I was already out, instead of eating my fruit. I feel so full until now. I did not even overeat since it is something usual I eat for lunch. I think I am used to eating less now so I better not ruin it and get back to my fruits hur hur..

Lent 2020 reflection

"This is the Lentiest Lent I have ever Lented"

I smirked when I saw the sentence above shared on my facebook newsfeed around one or two weeks ago. Ironically now that Lent is almost over, I think that statement summarised my 2020 Lenten experience accurately. I think I have mentioned this a few times previously but it is a miracle that I am able to fully follow through with what I promised for this Lent: no fast food, no junk food, no bubble tea, no food delivery for dinner / fruits for dinner, and daily Rosary. These will not be possible if not because of the COVID-19 situation so at least there is something positive that comes from it. I am happy that I lost 6kg. At times I felt that perhaps diet was my main motivation rather than the Lenten fasting and penance. However seeing my own history, it is clear that Lent was the bigger reason for this success. After all, I have been trying to lose weight perpetually and it never succeeded until now.

Church closure also brought about miracles. Thanks to the online services, I 'attended' more Masses than what I would normally attend. I even watched Maundy Thursday Mass and it was really a blessing for me. There are still few grudges that I am holding on with my previous workplace (and the people involved) as well as my parents. The theme of forgiveness came up again and I felt to have moved at least one or two steps closer to fully letting go.

The Mass streaming started at 8pm but I only started at past 1030pm. When I logged on, it was an adoration until midnight and I was thinking after the Adoration on Tuesday that I only lasted for 25 minutes, there was no way I would survive until midnight. The Mass was longer than usual and it was close to midnight when I finished with the Mass. Hence I actually managed to stay on until midnight hahaha... Maundy Thursday is always a definite skip for me normally so 'attending' it online is a good reminder of the special occasion to mark the only time in Church calendar that the churches will have their tabernacles emptied and lights off to signify Jesus' absence on Good Friday.

If I have the choice, I will skip Stations of the Cross. Usually I attend Stations of the Cross just to 'reserve' seat for the Good Friday service as usually they are back-to-back. I had the golden opportunity to just watch the service but I decided to watch both.

This experience is a good illustration of a nice story forwarded to me in Whatsapp a few weeks ago. The story is called Job - Act 2 and it goes:

There was a day that Satan came before the Lord, and the Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.”  And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my church, how they gather every Sunday, and praise and worship My Holy Name.  They do this year in and year out, every Sunday morning, all over the world.  From the time the sun rises in the east until the sun sets in the west, My Name gets glorified, like a wave washing over all the earth.”

Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Have you not blessed them with health and wealth and prosperity, with which they have built beautiful church buildings, and filled it with amazing technology?  Have You not blessed them with all manner of talents that they bring together in these beautiful churches they built and worship You with beautiful music that appeals to their senses?”

“But stretch out Your hand, and take all that from them, strike them down with a plague or even just the fear of a plague, and they will go quiet and worship You no more.  This wave of worship, running from the east of the earth to the west, every Sunday morning will stop, and all will go quiet.  Who will worship You then?  Who will still make Your Name great?”

And the Lord said to Satan, “They are in your hand.”  So Satan unleashed a deadly virus upon the earth, and soon churches closed all over the world.  Everyone, Christians and gentiles hunkered down in their homes, and everything went quiet… and Satan was standing there, watching, waiting, all the angels were standing in heaven, watching, waiting and God was standing there, watching, waiting… as a great silence fell over all the heavens and all the earth.

Then one angel called out; “Listen…!”, and another called out; “I hear it too… it’s coming from the east”.  In a small living room, in a locked up house, came the sound of a piano being played, and a voice singing;

“Holy, holy, holy,

Though the darkness hide Thee,

Though the eye of sinful man thy glory may not see,

Only Thou art holy; there is none beside Thee, Perfect in power, in love, and purity!”

And another angel called out “Listen, over there, in the west!” And the sound of a guitar, coming from a bedroom could be heard with a voice singing;

“All hail King Jesus, All hail Emmanuel!

Kind of king, Lord of lords, Bright Morning Star!

And for all eternity, I’ll sing Your praises,

And will reign with You, throughout eternity”

And slowly, from all directions on the earth, the sound of instruments and voices could be heard, louder and louder, until it became a symphony of worship, rising up to heaven.  A cacophony of song, praising God, declaring His greatness, thanking Him for His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness. Songs of dedication and declaration, songs of encouragement, songs filled with the joy and peace that can only come from God, sung by thousands of men and woman, young and old, wherever they were, accompanied by whatever means they had.

And God turned to Satan and said; “Did you notice… today is Tuesday!  Now, My church, having been freed from all the business that filled their lives, worships Me every day of the week, for they still know that ‘I Am’!  The wave of worship that runs from sunrise in the east until sunset in the west now circles the earth, every day, as the earth circles the sun.”

And all of heaven fell down on their faces and worshipped God, calling out “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His Glory!”.  And Satan turned and walked away, defeated as he has been since the day of Calvary.

Not sure if I will watch Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday Mass because normally I will only attend either or but let see how it goes tomorrow.

Start of circuit breaker

I went out at 11am on the day before circuit breaker and the panic buying was still ongoing. I waited 20 minutes to dabao my lunch although it was not that crowded. At least now I know that it would still be worth waiting for food delivery (even when it took more than 1.5 hours on last Friday) than to physically wait at the food place. My main aim was to 'beat the crowd' to cut hair but that did not happen. There were 3 people queueing at both EC House as well as the Malay Barber. The 'atas' Barberhouse next to EC House was empty but seeing the $40+ price tag... uuh never mind.

I finished reading The Film Wizardry of Fantastic Beasts: The Crime of Grindelwald and I wanted to keep it away so that I can put the next book to read on my desk. I ended up rearranging my boxes but I really had no more space in the boxes :( Sigh... I realised that even my anime books are scattered in few boxes now. Previously I always put them in a box but now that box is too full. I have been away from home for too long and that's why everything is stacking up here.

Yesterday was the first day of circuit breaker although apparently schools only started home-based learning today. No wonder the traffic outside my place in the morning was just as crowded as usual. I did not have to go out yet since I still had my last stock of banana for dinner. It was also the first gym session at home. Initially I was worried about the timing/timer but I completed a full set of the 'no equipment exercise' thanks to an online timer. The exercise mat that I bought last year for my physio exercises but I stopped using is finally useful again. This experience taught me that spending for gym is worth for me. Without the weights and equipments, the no equipment alternatives do not really feel like anything. I am also worried if I do something wrongly without someone watching over me. So yeah don't complain that gym is expensive.

From yesterday 7pm until today 7pm, Singapore Archdiocese held 24 hours of Prayer, Fasting, and Adoration. Fasting is out for me since I am paranoid over my gastric so I chose penance of not playing all my mobile games for 24 hours. Suprisingly I survived it with little problems or withdrawal symptoms. In fact, I felt quite liberated today haha... But after 7pm today then  I started playing again hor.. Ask me to stop playing also I think I am very sayang. I tried to do 1 hour of adoration last night and I only survived for 25 minutes. That was including one round of rosary. Gosh.. Time was crawling but at least I tried.

Today I was very restless because of my hair. Haha.. I read the news that people are not really taking the circuit breaker seriously and with the number of cases continuously increasing, I am worried that it is a matter of time before things would get even more serious and perhaps haircut would not be considered essential anymore. After thinking hard, I decided to book an appointment at the LA Barbershop today. Thomson Plaza branch is new so it is having 20% off and the final cost is $32.55. I tried to reason that since EC House is charging $15 now for 10 minutes cut, this $30+ for 30 minutes service is reasonable lah. This is my first time going to a barber in Singapore and washing was included. Lol.. Last time my barber in Indonesia did not include washing although lately I go to saloon since it is just at MKG across my house. The barber can cut shorter than the usual 10 minute cut so lets see if this can last me 3 months. If it can, then I do not mind coming back again since it is more or less comparable in terms of cost and time spent to the 10 minute cut. I feel emo now since after each hair cut, it makes me realise that I am balding with my forehead is now 1/3 of my face :(

So yeah with hair matters out of my head now, I am not that worried about lockdown anymore. It was quite enjoyable to go out minus the crowd. I do not what to feel seeing honey shop and whisky shop are still open. I mean how essential are they? But really there is no easy answer. If they close, how will the worker earn? If they open, how many people would actually be buying. Initially I thought I would need to do groceries once every 2 days but today I decided to buy banana and 4 red dragon fruit. They should be sufficient for 6 days so I can practise to be a hermit until next week hehe

Over the weekend, I told myself that since my office is already on full WFH, I would avail myself for volunteering again since I would not be putting my colleagues at risk. The question came on Monday and I am happy that I said that I would be available. Although in the end they said I would not need to be activated, at least I stayed true to my promise. Then yesterday suddenly there is this initiative to activate reserve healthcare professionals as standby in case shit hits the fan. Oh no.. is it a sign that things may be getting worse? Anyway I registered because it is a promise to myself and to God since I changed job 2 years ago that I would make use of my weekend to be more fruitful. And among various ways of volunteering, making use of my license will always be my top priority since it is not a role that any Tom, Dick, or Harry can do even if they want.

Sia suay

The quieter crowd I experienced on Monday was just a one-day thing. It was back to almost normal on Wednesday and Thursday. Clearly people do not give a shit over health and virus so it is not surprising when it was announced yesterday about stricter measures starting from next Tuesday (7 April). Only essential workplace and essential businesses will open and the rest must close. Schools will be closed. This is not a lockdown whatsoever because people movement will not be restricted.

Clearly people still do not give a shit and they are more concerned about panic hoarding. Seriously... I went to Orchard to top up one of my acne creams and I was hoping Orchard would not be busy. Heck... Orchard also did not escape from all the sia suay hoarding. It was before 11am and I only wanted to get Danzen from Guardian. The queue for the cashier was already 8-10 people long. I considered myself lucky because by the time I was done, the shop already had to restrict entry to prevent it from becoming too congested and people had to queue outside to enter. The 'atas' Market Place at Paragon was already full of sia suays. I thought I would not be able to get any fruits today if even the more expensive supermarket was already that crowded.

Takashimaya changed its operating hours to start at 11am and that was a blessing in disguise. Although I had to wait about 15 minutes until it opened, at least I had the chance to enter when Cold Storage just opened. The long queue to enter Takashimaya was a clear indication how these sia suays only cared about shopping and not so much about distancing. I quickly grabbed a bunch banana and did not bother to check on other things so that I could avoid long queues at the cashier. The condition inside Cold Storage was already quite bad. Some of the fruit baskets were already half empty, long queue at the Delicatessen, and generally people were moving and grabbing things in sia suay mode.

I don't think books are essential so I visited Kinokuniya for one last time before one month hiatus. Ooh la la.. I think people were also hoarding books for them to have something to do at home for the next month. There is ongoing sale and yet the queue was the longest I have ever seen. The queue from the front cashier snaked all the way to the glass door where the escalator inside the store is. I did not have anything in mind to look for but usually when that happened, I would end up finding something. I was right. Gundam Wing The Glory of the Losers is already completed until Vol 14.

Amazon is currently suspending shipping to Singapore and in the end I bought from Book Depository. The last time I bought from them was in 2013 wow.. I hope the shipping from UK will not be badly affected by the virus and these comics will reach me just nice as my birthday present. When I knew of the English version of this manga, I decided to wait until everything was out in hope of a box set. I just realised that the English version is by Vertical Comics instead of by Viz or Kodansha so I doubt there will ever be a box set and that is why I decided to buy.

Recession is officially coming as all the banks are all lowering their deposit interest rates. I have around 50000 KrisFlyer miles expiring this August and with the current global situation, I don't know how I will use them. I used my thick skin to email SQ to ask if there would be extension of miles validity due to uncertain global aviation industry and will see how it goes. Meanwhile, the saddest thing for me in the coming month is the closure of gym because it is considered non-essential. Looks like this is where my weight loss journey will officially end T_T Even if I do some self-exercises in my room, it is impossible to meet the same intensity as my gym sessions. Haiz...

I never see Takashimaya B2 empty before

60 is the next goal

For almost 2 weeks, I could not get under 63kg and I was almost resigned to the fate that perhaps 63kg is the weight that I am meant to be. Thank God that I never surrender and keep marching on with my Lenten promise. Today I finally passed the 63 mark so I can aim for the next goal: 60kg. Hehe.. With WFH full time arrangement for the next 2 weeks, I can do intermittent fasting (except on weekends when I go for morning gym as I am scared of fainting to skip breakfast when exercising). I am tempted to couple the intermittent fasting with halving my food but I am still hesitant if that will be too extreme.

Although Singapore is not locking down, it felt already like a semi-lockdown today. I left home for gym today at 5pm to catch the 6pm session. That is the same cycle when I am working at the office. The MRTs for both to and return journeys were less crowded than usual. There was no massive crowd at Fair Price and even the traffic on the bus ride home was quite empty. Honestly I feel quite shiok to have life slowing and quietening down for a while. Hehe..

Special Urbi et Orbi

Urbi et Orbi is a special papal blessing usually given at Christmas, Easter, and after election of a new pope. Today is a special day because Pope Francis did a special Urbi et Orbi to pray for an end to the current coronavirus situation. It was at 6pm in Rome (GMT +1) which was 1am here this morning. I would rather be sleeping and I initially did not care about it. In fact, I was so irritated with the bombardment of whatsapp messages about this in my family groups.

Man proposes but God disposes. I spent my past few Friday nights watching my Thai dramas and that was the plan last night. Unfortunately, there was a Windows Update and my fucked up laptop was damn slow for the updating. While waiting for the updating to complete, it went past 1 am and that was how I ended up following the Urbi et Orbi. Initially I could not find a youtube live broadcast with English subtitle  but I was glad that on a second try, I found one by EWTN. There was no subtitle but there was an English narrator to translate real time. The woman has a very soothing voice and the whole experience feels like a prayer session rather than a news session so kudos to the woman.

It was indeed a blessing and special experience for me. The Gospel reading was only 7-verse long (it is the story of Jesus calming the storm) but Pope Francis' homily covered the details commonly glanced over such as 'When evening came..' and 'Do you not care?' and relate it to what the world is facing now. It is a powerful image to see the Pope leading a prayer in the never-empty St Peter's Square. It is a grim reminder that it takes an invisible virus to bring the world to a halt and bring humanity to its knees to return to God. After the homily, the Pope prayed in front of Salus Populi Romani and Miraculous Cross of San Marcello. They were brought around the city of Rome in prayers to end the plagues in the years 590 and 1522, respectively. An Eucharistic adoration then followed at the atrium of St Peter's Basilica and the Urbi et Orbi blessing marked the end of the prayer.

Too bad that the Cross is blocked by the pillar from this angle

One thing that made me happy to belong to the Catholic Church is regardless of the location, the prayers are universal. The Benediction and the Divine Praises are the same with the Eucharistic adorations that I attended before. Urbi et Orbi blessing comes with plenary indulgence. I am not too familiar with the 'rules and regulations' surrounding it so instead of being too focused on the blessing, I just pray as usual and so be it.

I visited my aunt to deliver the stuff I brought from my trip to Jakarta during my friend's wedding this January. I ended up staying there for 5 hours and being overfed. I bought lunch from the hawker centre near her place and I agreed to share oyster omelette with her even though I was supposed to avoid eggs. I wanted to leave at 2pm but she said I already promised to stay for beef steak pie that she brought from Australia for teatime. I thought we would be sharing the pie but it ended up just for me because she tried it before. Not to mention the additional teh botol, hibiscus tea, and cocoa drink that I had. It was my first time trying hibiscus tea which I find to taste more like a flower/fruit than a tea. Oooh lastly, she let me try some figs before lunch! That is my first time trying fig fruits. The sweet ones are very good but the not sweet ones taste like vegetable because of the skin. Haha.. I think they will definitely taste better when peeled.

I thought I would be full until tomorrow morning because of the overeating but nope.. I got hungry earlier and had 2 bananas for dinner.

500x

I completed my 500th gym session today. That is about 1000 minutes of HIIT, 1000 hours of commuting time, and more than $10000 of membership fees (although technically it is not $10000 yet since I am still in the midst of consuming my third membership fees).

I started in December 2016 and for someone averse to physical exercise in the past, it is a miracle that I can continue until today. Not to mention the 2 occasions of injury that required me to for physiotherapy as well. Oops. I don't think the injuries were the fault of the gym but more because of my aging since I only started having problems since late 2018.

Looking back, it is amazing that going gym for 500 times is still easier than controlling my diet 500 times. Sigh... My main motivation to start gym was to lose weight. That does not happen since I still continue eating rubbish. I will not say that gym is useless though because despite the junk that goes into me, I managed not to gain weight. The most notable effect for me is that now I can do some pull ups, something I could not do since secondary school. I do not think I have developed visible muscles but now my chest and shoulders are more straight because of the push ups and rows. In the past, I tend to slouch to 'hide' my moobs as well.

As a reward for reaching the 500th milestone, there is a T-shirt but since the L size was out of stock, I chose to wait instead of taking M or XL. Hehe.. On top of that is a voucher for a free smoothie.

The day I have been waiting for is finally here as my company finally declares a full work from home for the next 2 weeks. Hehehe.. The first thing that comes to my mind is that I can save up on my mask. Hold on... I still need to go to gym and after working hours is PM peak hours hor.. There is a temptation to skip gym but I also want to hold on to or hope to lose more weight during this time. The deciding factor turns out to be grocery shopping. Hehe... I still need to replenish my banana and red dragonfruit every 2 days so I still need to go out anyway. Might as well make an additional trip to the gym while doing that.

Mid-Lent

Yesterday was the 4th Sunday of Lent which marked the mid-point of Lent. I am still able to hold on and prevent my dietary relapse but it is getting more and more difficult. Things have not been well for me so there have been temptations for 'comfort food'. Yesterday's temptation was for 'self treat' since I have been doing well since Ash Wednesday. Thank God I am still able to resist and survive. Food aside, attending online Mass start to get more challenging as I was falling asleep yesterday. Sigh...

Work got somewhat shittier last week. I was (and still am) damn pissed with these idiots. They are still training for one of the modules and instead of being responsible for their own training and learning from their mistakes, they directed their frustration to me. What the fuck! They should be grateful that I bothered to even give inputs and explanations (which they interpret as me being nitpicky and finding faults). Even if I just make the corrections without any explanation, they would simply say no feedback. Last week was also KPI discussion so it was miracle that somehow I did not sound angry or scolding with each of them when discussing this.

The coronavirus situation is getting worse in this past week with Malaysia lock down, first death cases in Singapore, Singapore giving stay at home notice for all travelers (regardless where they fly from) and finally Singapore not allowing any more non-residents to enter and even transit. I am slowly adding to my pile of instant noodles or pastas with each development and now I have 10 packs. Quickly have local lockdown la! Otherwise all my dieting effort in the past month will be wasted if I have to finish them for the sake of finishing.

Enough of the emo stuff for now. Recently what taking my time is Thai dramas on Youtube. Previously I am only into Japanese dramas and I am never into Chinese, Taiwanese, or Korean dramas. I love Japanese dramas for the values (usually family or friendship stuff), which are usually touching and tear jerking, as well as the comedy. The Thai dramas that I am watching are also the funny ones. One thing that really stands out from Thai dramas is their positivity. I am not usually into romantic stuff but the romance in Thai dramas is really sweet. At times, too sweet until I have to surpress my giggles. Another cool thing about Thai dramas is that they are uploaded with English subtitles in Youtube very quickly.

Currently there are 2 series that I am following on Friday nights and 2 new series (just started 2 weeks ago) on Saturday. The Saturday new series are not as nice as the Friday series. Last last Sunday, I chionged a Taiwanese drama which only had 10 episodes with 10-15 minutes per episode. In the past week, I finished a Thai series which was completed in 2018. Haha I better don't start browsing related videos and start another new series.

After finishing FF VI book 2 weeks ago, I just finished Harry Potter A History of Magic. I regret buying this book as it is not according to what I imagined it to be. It is not exactly about Harry Potter universe as it is more about real life historical 'magical' artifacts which can be compared to the magical stuff in Harry Potter. Thus it feels more like reading an encyclopedia or visiting a museum exhibits instead of immersing to Harry Potter universe. Anyway, now I am moving to the next book which is the Film Wizardry of the Crimes of Grindelwald. I had not even taken off its shrinkwrap. Hehe..

With Tokyo Disney Resort extending its temporary closure due to coronavirus, its official Youtube channel is uploading montages of the shows which are intended to have their run date ending during this closure period. I find the song for It's Very Minnie to be very addictive leh! Anyway they are very stingy as the video will only available until 30 April only and it is not even the full show!

Sadly, I just found out that Ariel's Greeting Grotto at Disneysea is also permanently closed. Huhuhu so I really missed the chance of taking a picture with her Christmas outfit last year.

Test of faith

Troubling times are also times when faith is being tested. Should we have complete faith and disregard reality? Or should we be pragmatic and appear not completely faithful? Or is there a middle ground? Two weeks ago, it was announced that Masses will resume this weekend. It was interesting to see all the extreme comments towards that news: either full support 'God is greater than virus' or full against 'The situation is not getting better and you want to take a risk'. Many fail to see the middle ground that the Archbishop still gives the dispensation for attending Mass online for those unwell or uncomfortable with large crowd gathering yet. Last week things went south and Mass suspension will continue instead of resuming this week. Now the extreme comments become 'Why do we let Satan beat our faith with this virus and fear'. Sigh...

I personally feel that the situation is not conducive yet to resume large crowd gathering. I was not too happy with the news two weeks ago already I decided that I would still attend online Mass until situations improve. Well the options were there so I was not that bothered. The reason of my unhappiness was on the risk taken. Irresponsible people are around (even before the Mass suspension, there were people coughing and sneezing without any restraint) and with the situation does not seem improving, it is just a walking timebomb before a churchgoer becomes a new epicenter.

I am happy that I finished all my travel expenses although the numbers made me emo. On average, each overseas trip cost me close to 5k. In total, I have spent around 35k since my very first trip to Japan in 2015. A part of me agrees with my dad's nagging that travelling cost a lot. Most part of me, however, is having no regrets. The memories and the photos are priceless since I cannot turn back time to become young and youthful anymore. Perhaps I should cut down on the toys shopping and the souvenirs shopping is definitely a waste of money. Souvenirs shopping is just for the 'face' and on the hindsight, colleagues are just fake people.

Haiz.. I know I am still very pissed with my colleague la.. I feel as if God keeps telling me through the homilies of Novena yesterday and 3rd Sunday of Lent homily to forgive. No wonder the Psalm 'O that today you would listen to His voice, harden not your hearts' always hits me hard.

It was only yesterday that I was still holding on a hope of going home in April and that is no longer impossible today. Singapore has announced 14 days stay at home notice (SHN) for ASEAN countries. I do not even have a home here and SHN is just impossible. I cannot be stocking up 2 weeks worth of stuff and most important, I do not want to put my landlord and landlady at least. Otherwise, I don't know where to go if I get kicked out. This makes even more emo and angry at my state of homelessness. Sigh.. I should have returned home and settled my driving license over this weekend since it is already within a month of expiry and the SHN starts tomorrow at 1159pm. Technically I could have renewed my driving license and avoid the SHN if I return tomorrow morning. Hindsight is always 20/20 :(

More WFH

The COVID-19 situation is not getting better as it has been declared a pandemic a few days ago. It has spread to all over the world and caused panic everywhere with the lockdown in Italy, the US banning travels from Europe, and the stock market crashes. On the more positive side, at least my WFH still continues. Hehe.. SGD is weakening against USD and JPY so perhaps the time to change my leftover cash is coming, especially for USD that I have been waiting for years to reach at least 1.45.

Last week, I received email about SQ 20% off and I was tempted to buy ticket for April. Thank goodness that I decided to hold on first. With the situations rapidly changing, I was planning to buy it this weekend as the sale is ending in the middle of next week. Looks like I will have to just wait until very close to Good Friday to make the decision. Honestly at this point of time, I am prepared to lose my driving license :( I am only renting a room first and I cannot take a chance with 14 days of stay at home notice if the situation evolves this way in a month time.

On the first few days of WFH, I was worried about the need of snacking. Now I am hoping that this WFH continues because so far I already lost almost 4kg. Hehe.. I put a bit of restrain with my meat avoidance for this week while keeping my half portions for breakfast and dinner when I am at home. I realise that I am close to doing intermittent fasting as usually I have my dinner at around 8pm and then my breakfast at 10am when I am at home. Perhaps that helps too! I shall continue with trying to avoid meat again for the coming weeks.

Another change that turns out good after some adjustment is my daily rosary. Due to lack of eye breaks when I am working at home, my one decade per break also does not happen. Previously, it was so difficult for me to sit down to pray the whole rosary in the evening as I would end up falling asleep or distracted. That no longer happens this week. I guess after a good afternoon nap, I am not that sleepy in the evening.

This year my PR renewal went through smoothly and now I am tempted to just quit my job and enjoy life for a few years before starting to find again so that I can renew again. If that fails, I am okay to balik kampung although I prefer my original plan to always die young. The friction I feel with my colleagues still continues and I do not need all the drama. Seriously ah this one bitch, I don't know what went into her suddenly. We expect disagreement at work and we have workflow on that. If discussion to reach agreement fails, we are supposed to ask another person and majority wins. She just went all out bitch mode when we did not meet eye to eye. She even wanted to invoke standardisation which obviously failed because she just felt personally attacked with my differing view and failed to see that what she proposed for standardisation is not what we have been doing anyway.

Anyway I am already older and have learnt the art of walking away from inconsequential confrontation. I said what I needed to say and subsequently, I will just follow majority or SOP or whatever to cover my backside. It is as simple as that and I avoided retaliation just for the sake of ego. Although I can show 'walking away' externally, I am still brewing anger internally la. Lol. Seriously, bitch, just quit the job and take care of your kid la. Don't be an asshole to fill in the headcount but only working 4 days a week and now showing shitty attitude that destroys trust and teamwork.

I never work in a male environment and I wonder how it is. I have always been in a female dominated fields and it is same shit but different flavours. Females always have herd mentality and cloud their judgements without realising how stupid and inconsistent they are with different answers with different scenarios even though initially they say they want 'standardisation'. Okay, that's majority but not ALL. I have also come across great female bosses and usually these are those objective ones.