Summary of first overseas work travel

Overseas work travel turned out to be more tiring than normal work and that is the reason I can only write this post after I am back. In fact, I am just done with doing laundry, unpacking my luggage, and changing my bedsheet so I am feeling a bit more relaxed to blog.

I was more mentally drained with meetings and discussion for the past full 3 days. Most of the things are new to me so it was really a hardwork for my brain to process all the information. The biggest challenge was actually keeping awake. Some things were beyond my comprehension and my imagination that I simply switched off. So perhaps this was my first and last overseas work travel since I was dozing off despite sitting next to my boss. Hahaha.. I shall stop here for the boring part and let's remember about the more exciting stuff: food and sightseeing. Lol.

Tuesday

For lunch on Tuesday, I tried the mixed rice stall which I found very cheap: 120 peso (that is less than $4) for rice + 2 dishes (even ok for 2 meats) + a choice of noodle or coffee jelly dessert. I have no complaint about the taste but the food was rather cold which made eating more difficult.

In the evening, my boss brought me to the shopping malls near Ayala Triangle. There are few interlinked shopping malls such as Greenbelt, Landmark, Glorietta (which has 5 malls on its own), and SM although we only had time to check out Landmark and Glorietta. From the interior, I guess Landmark and Glorietta were built in 80s-90s as they remind me of the old shopping plazas rather than the modern shopping malls. Having said that, they are very well maintained and 'refreshed' unlike many old shopping plazas that I see in Jakarta or Singapore which simply lose out to newer shopping malls and have sleazy dingy feel.

Dinner was at Max's Restaurant and I got Beef Caldereta which reminds me of rendang minus the spiciness. Initially I wanted to try Lechon but the only Lechon in the menu was for 2-3 people. No way we could finish that. The vegetable dish (pinakbet) was not remarkable and not for my taste buds. I bought their caramel bar since it was not super sticky and sweet as those Mars bars. We also went to supermarket since I did not mind to start buying souvenirs. Well apparently the souvenirs that my Filipino ex-colleagues used to bring are not that readily available. My biggest surprise, however, was bumping into someone I knew there (not exactly a friend since he was 2 years younger and we just knew each other when we were in VS hostel) who was also in Manila for overseas work travel. Seriously what is the odd of meeting someone you know when you are overseas?

I also checked out the laundrette, the gym, and the pool of the hotel. The pool looks good for dipping and relaxing, rather than for actual swimming, and there is jacuzzi too. One of the laundry dryers was down and the gym was too small. Perhaps the most disappointing of all is that these facilities close at 10pm. So forget about doing laundry and it was a waste of space to bring my gym attire and shoes.

Wednesday
We had team lunch paid for the company for traditional Filipino food and my favourites were fried squid stuffed with spinach, sisig, and dinuguan. I had a good chat with few people and one advice which I found very amusing: forget about changing diet, change clothes instead. Haha.. I think one fun thing about Filipinos is that they really embrace their delicious food culture and weight is secondary.

I did not really have dinner as in the evening, I went with some team members to a Mexican restaurant for drinks. There was happy hour so I ended up with 2 glasses of rum tea. Good thing that the alcohol was not that strong and it tasted like lemon tea to me. So yes achievement unlocked for me to finish 2 glasses of alcoholic drink. Haha.. the irony was among the happy hour list, the waiter said that the rum tea was the strongest. Stupid me did not bring my credit card so I could not take the opportunity to pay for the bill. I did not dare to pay with cash since I did not really count how much pesos I had left and I did not want to risk running out of cash.

I slept later than on Tuesday as I kept running to the toilet to pee thanks to all the water to 'dilute' the alcohol in my body. However, the saddest thing was the news of the passing of Aloysius Pang. I read about his injury on Saturday and his passing was a shock after the update that his surgeries after the injury went well and he was conscious to speak to her mother. I only knew him from the movie Young & Fabulous since I don't follow Channel 8 and although I am not a fan or something, I actually bothered to pray for his recovery when I first heard the news of his injury. I have a friend who knows him which makes the whole thing feel somewhat 'closer'. With the memorial planned for tomorrow, it is going to be a sad weekend and I can only offer prayers that he shall rest in peace and those who are left behind be given the strength and consolation throughout this grieving period.

Thursday
I had a burger and chocolate milkshake at an American restaurant just next to my hotel. The burger was definitely better than burgers from fast food chain. After that, I finally got to try cheese-flavoured ice cream. It was my first time seeing a cheese-flavoured ice cream so I was rather intrigued. It is not something that I will try again since it felt like eating a cheese cream rather than an ice cream.

A colleague and his girlfriend brought me to BGC (Bonafacio Global City) which is definitely a newer and modern city compared to Makati. The buildings are newer and have more modern designs, the traffic is more organised (i.e. cars stop when the traffic light for pedestrians to cross the road is on), and I saw more expatriates. We visited a night market. It was not as jam packed as I imagined but there was no vacant table so I could not try lechon. I tried a street snack (egg wrapped in flour and deep fried) although I was worried since there were flies flying around when the food was on display. I decided to buy since the food would be fried first and thank goodness no diarrhea until now. Haha..

My colleague suggested Marugame Udon for dinner and there was a long queue so we went to a Chinese restaurant instead. I ditched my diet and ordered a salted egg fried chicken with rice. Well it was worth the acne ba. Haha...The sweetness and the salted egg flavour was great and I also ordered Chinese and Japanese siomay. Both were not great compared to Chinese siew may or Indonesian siomay. Haha.. I felt so paiseh so I asked for the bill to pay for the dinner but my friend and his girlfriend spoke to the waitress in Tagalog and the waitress gave the bill to them instead.

Apparently it is quite difficult to find souvenirs in the city so with time running out, I just bought whatever I could find at Kultura at nearby SM mall.

Friday
Nothing much happened today since it was only going to airport to fly back. I am so lucky to whack buying things at Kultura instead of betting on getting something at the airport since the prices were crazy. Yesterday I spent about 1400 pesos for 4 packets of banana chips, 2 boxes and 5 packets of Polvoron, 1 packet of dried mango, and 3 packets of dried mango dipped in chocolate. In the airport, 1 packet of banana chips is easily 300 pesos o_0

Flight was delayed about 15 minutes and I felt so happy that this time the flight was with the newer A330 which had in-flight entertainment. Forget about sleeping throughout the flight and I watched Ant-man and the Wasp (which I missed) and the Avengers: Infinity War.

After arriving at Changi, I went for a little bit of detour to terminal 3 to see the Harry Potter and yup it was shitty. Haha.. The decorated area was small and the cardboard decoration was just eww...

Work-wise, honestly I still don't know what is going on. Haha.. Perhaps this will be my first and last overseas work travel since I kept falling asleep when my boss presenting her slides and I was sitting next to her. It was kinda obvious too since my Filipino colleagues also noticed it. Lol.

First overseas work travel

I feel very thankful to God for this opportunity to travel overseas for work. It is something that will never every happen if I did not change job. Everything is paid for and there is no bond. Eventually there is nothing free in this world so I hope after I know my KPIs and what I am supposed to do with my new appointment, this overseas trip will not be something that I regret. Lol.

It was my first time taking taxi to the airport in the morning so there was something to learn. It took me almost 1 hour to reach the airport. With a school just one bus stop away, the taxi took 10-15 minutes to reach me although the estimation during the phone booking was 2-4 minutes. Terminal 1 was surprisingly rather empty and my check-in queue was pretty short.

Despite the tight timing, I decided to have a quick breakfast at Plaza Premium Lounge. I just registered my Arrture on Thursday and thank goodness by Friday my free lounges already appeared in my account instead of the promised within 5 working days. My departure gate was at D while Plaza Premium Lounge was at C gate and I had difficulty finding the lounge. Although I only spent about 20 minutes there, it was worth it. I think this is easily the best lounge in terms of the food and drink choices that I ever experienced in Changi Airport. The turkey ham, chicken ham, and luncheon meat were good albeit rather salty, the miso soup was quite thick and authentic, the kwetiaw could not make it but the meatball was nice (no wonder I only saw 1 remaining meatball), the potato salad was refreshing although I would enjoy it if the potato slices were more bite-sized.

My breakfast at Plaza Premium Lounge

These were only what I managed to try. Others were kimchi ramen, sandwiches, and the usual cereal, milk, toasts, juices etc. The canned drink options in the fridge were quite huge too but I could only provide space for 1 can of Ayataka.

I flew with Philippines Airlines (PAL). It was my first time and I have to say I am quite impressed. I think the plane is clean, the cabin atmosphere with blue leather kind of seats is refreshing, and the food is pretty good. Usually the food in place is heated in a way that somehow only the meat gets heated but not the rice or the vegetables. The food I had was warm for everything and the taste was one of the better ones. The only 2 things I dislike is there is only one set of toilet at the rear of the plane and there is no in-flight entertainment. If these two things are present, PAL can really give a lot of airlines some competition.

Manila is another example on why I have the sentiment that the cities in South East Asian countries are more or less the same especially with the traffic, the disorganised things, and the city layout. I feel Manila is quite unique because the style of the highway reminds me of Europe (the lanes are quite narrow) while some of the skycrappers remind me of Japanese style, especially with some buildings exactly next to the highway. My parents used to be sent for work in Manila many years ago and they said Manila was comparable to Jakarta. Yep, they are correct and I was not too shocked. Haha.. Now I think Jakarta is actually not that bad because I think Manila has more buildings which look older and poorly maintained. It is quite sad to see 'atas' shops/offices/hotels have very nice lobbies and interior while the outside looks quite bad with peeling paints and dirty walls.

I am staying at Citadines Salcedo Makati which is a service apartment so the studio room has kitchen and microwave that I doubt I will be using. So far everything is looking good. I thought I could earn some KrisFlyer miles but my stay is not eligible since it is booked under corporate rate. Oh well.. looks like I cannot earn any free miles from this trip T_T

My home for the next 4 days

After much deliberation, I decided to bring my sports shoes as a push factor for me to utilise the gym. After tonight's dinner, it seems that the shoes only waste the space that I can utilise to bring more food. Haha.. Forget about gym and I am resigned to the fate that I will definitely gain weight lah. Firstly the free breakfast will definitely be more than the 2 slices of bread that I usually have as breakfast. Secondly I cannot supress my curiosity to try food that I never tried before. For dinner I tried Adobo which actually reminds me of semur. My downfall was the dessert T_T I decided to try Saba Con Hielo. Well saba turns out to be banana. If I knew it was just banana, I would definitely not try. It was interesting because the thingy looks like banana but the texture was not like the banana fruit. It was not soft and not fibrous but rather chewy. Anyway it made me really full and no way I could gym tonight.

Saba Con Hielo (the white thing is coconut milk)

So that is my first day in Manila. Tomorrow it will be a proper working day so I am looking forward to it.

Nothing goes right

The past week has been mentally draining for me. Everything seems to be broken and going wrong and I am driven mad trying to fix things. Sigh..

Firstly my FF8 statue arrived broken. I am so disappointed with the seller and comgateway as the item was packed with zero protection at all. How could they! Sigh.. Seller has been non-contactable so the case is now at Paypal's hand and I hope I can get a partial refund. Comgateway gives me an option of partial refund and I can keep the item or full refund but they will keep the item. It is a difficult decision between having my money back and not to think about this anymore vs keeping the rare and out of production item which is imperfect (epoxy glue can stick the broken parts back but the crack line is still there and one broken fragment is missing) for the total cost after the partial refund.

C3AFA TOKYO 2018 すりーみっくす 1/12 可動 ヒイロ・ユイ ガンダムW C3 キャラホビ

I bought this Heero Yuy garage kit which turns out to be a complete garbage. Sigh.. I can't believe that the original price is 8000 yen and I thought I had a good deal for 4000 yen. It is not my first time buying a garage kit and that is why I can say this is an utter garbage. It comes unassembled and the parts come in plastic runners like Gundam models. However it is so terribly made with fragments of plastics around and when the parts are moved from the runner, the edges were so rough. With all the shipping and proxy fees, essentially this is 6000 yen garbage that straight away goes to the rubbish bin T_T

I bought Disney CNY t-shirts by Goldwood at Takashimaya Fair last Sunday. There was no fitting room so I could only rely on the samples on the mannequins, on the hangers, and the sizing on the website of the producer. I asked my sisters if they wanted and they used the sizing on the website to decide on theirs and I used the samples. Wew.. all t-shirts turned out smaller than estimations. I used Takashimaya vouchers to buy and I did not expect the size would be wrong so I did not keep the receipt. I tried my luck on Monday to ask if I could change the size and the staff simply told me "No receipt = no exchange". Bleah.. $75 is not a small amount of money so I refused to give up. I tried my luck further by emailing Takashimaya and Goldwood. Goldwood was nice enough to allow me to show their reply to Takashimaya for the exchange but the fair was already over on Tuesday. Thus I am very thankful that Takashimaya is willing to help me with the exchange. Hurray!!

The one that made me want to vomit blood was Bank of China. My credit card points have never been accurate since October. I have been calling them monthly after each statement but their investigation is taking so long. Finally this month I was able to get a reply and that drove me crazy. I wasted my time for almost 45 minutes with an idiotic staff who dared to raise his voice and created his own Terms and Conditions. He still got the cheek to challenge me that even if I spoke to someone else, I would get the same reply. In the end I just gave up and asked him to get his manager or supervisor on another day. Thank goodness the manager really returned the call because I was already preparing myself to lodge a complaint to MAS if the bank does not follow its TnC. It will take another round of investigation but at least I know that all my foreign spending will get the bonus points as per TnC, and not depending on where the transaction is processed. After the investigation is over, I will definitely complain on this staff to his manager. I worked in customer service before and I know when not to raise my voice or scold since sometimes the staff really has no knowledge or no decision making power. However, it is a big no no to lie (creating own TnC), discouraging me to speak to his supervisor, and to raise his voice. I am not gonna let this bastard off. 

I went for physiotherapy to check on my back. My guess is correct. I am glad that nothing is serious and it is a problem with the muscles. I don't know if I should go again because I have not been doing the exercise that the physiotherapist taught and until now the discomfort still persists lor. Haiz.. Not to mention since it is back issue, I had to take off my shirt for easier assessment lor. Wah lao so paiseh to expose my fat body to a girl sia.. Actually even if the physiotherapist is a guy, I am also paiseh lah.

Perhaps the only good thing that happened this week was meeting my SJI roommate who made a 3-day stop here with his wife. Our meeting place was at Maxwell Food Center and when I came out from Chinatown, it was raining cats and dogs. With the wind, I would be drenched even with umbrella. Thank goodness the rain stopped after I waited for about 15 minutes. After dinner, we walked to Clarke Quay and all the way to Esplanade. It is nice to catch up with an old friend and then reminiscing the old days to realise how childish and trivial were the things we were fighting about. Haha.. But aaah... those were the good old days when the only life's problems were getting A1s, passing English, and passing NAPFA. We shared what is going on with our life and it seems that our family issues are similar. Lol.. Yup parents everywhere are same same but different. We are sometimes frustrated at them although yes we know they have our well being in their mind.

With that, I shall end here to continue packing my luggage for my first work travel tomorrow. Hurray!! I am so excited :D

Aquaman

I do not normally watch single superhero movies and I am not that into DC movies. An ex-colleague had an expiring Shaw House movie ticket to be used by end January. With the hype around Aquaman about hitting $1b box-office and a show time that fitted well to my schedule, I decided to give Aquaman a chance.

When I first saw the trailer for Aquaman few months ago, I was turned off by the CGI quality which I found was very jarring and gave me the impression of watching a cartoon/CGI movie. I changed my mind after watching the movie as I no longer had that impression during the movie. The CGI looks well made and believable and I am honestly very impressed with the fine details such as the movement of the hair during the underwater scenes. The effects to depict Atlantis and the underwater world nicely contrast with the abovewater world (if there is such a word) and I find that CGI in Wonder Woman and Justice League to be more "memorable" aka jarring. Hahaha...

I am not going to nitpick on the plot because honestly how interesting can a superhero origin story be. Yes, Aquaman tries to avoid the typical origin story since it is already established that Aquaman played a role in saving the world from Steppenwolf (in Justice League movie). However, it is still an origin story since this movie essentially introduces how Aquaman becomes the King of Atlantis and his back story which includes how his parents meet, how he trains, and so on. I finally get my answer on why Aquaman has not been depicted with this iconic orange top and green outfit so far. It is because he only takes up this appearance after he becomes the King of Atlantis. There is no new subplots as all the available subplots have been used in every other superheroes or fantasy movies from battling for the throne, killing other kings to secure an alliance from their kingdoms, finding a missing ancient kingdom, getting an ancient treasure/artifact that imbues super power of the very first king, and so on. You can't make these any more creative and interesting. However, there is one sub-plot that really irks me: the Black Manta. His origin story for revenge towards Aquaman is okay but how he gets his power and technology from King Orm. King Orm hates the humans and abovewater world so much and I find it nonsensical for him to give a human Atlantean secrets and technology even if it is to kill Aquaman.

The actions scenes are not that memorable although I enjoy watching pretty girls kicking ass. I am referring to Queen Atlanna and Mera especially when they fight in the land when it feels more action than CGI. Sadly Queen Atlanna does not get any more fighting scenes after that. It would be nice to see some depiction on how she survives the Trench and reaches the Hidden Sea. I was wondering why Queen Atlanna looked so familiar but I could not remember where I saw her previously. After checking google, AAAH no wonder, it is Nicole Kidman!! So exciting. I  think she is really pretty. Amber Heard (who plays Mera) is pretty too but her hair is not red in real life so I think somehow the red hair somehow enhances her beauty for the movie. For Nicole Kidman though, she just looks as beautiful in real life as in the movie hehe..

Clearly DC has finally realised that being dark and edgy is not really a success formula so Aquaman is trying to inject some humour to lighten the atmosphere. It does not go all out like to Marvel level of hilarity (which is something not easy to do) and it is just one funny line here and there out of nowhere. Some criticise this as "trying too hard" but I think it is passable: not really corny to change the overall tone of the movie.

For me, what sets Aquaman apart is suprise surprise: loyalty, love and family values. I find it so touching that Tom Curry is still waiting at the dock everyday to wait for Atlanna's promise to return to see him some day even after all these years. The monarchy is also not just about killing one another: Aquaman and Orm still recognise their bond as half-brothers despite their conflict and both love their mother instead of fighting over who the better son is, Vulko's loyalty (he does not outright plot a nasty scheme despite his disagreement with Orm's plan), Orm simply imprisons Vulko instead of executing him for his 'betrayal', and at the end the reunion of Atlanna, Aquaman, and Orm is lovely. Fiuh.. a good thing that it does not turn out to be royal blood bath like the Game of Thrones or something.

Overall I find Aquaman enjoyable and I am not surprised that it has created such a ripple in the box office. Nevertheless, it is still something I will not watch more than once as nothing is really outstanding from the story, the fight, and the characters.

Honeymoon period is over

My honeymoon period at new job is finally over. Boss informed me that my next role is to manage a team which is based in the Philippines. As of now, I don't mind and I am actually quite excited for it as it means I get the chance to finally travel overseas for work. Oh tears of joy!! Everything is paid for and there is no bond whatsoever. I would be happier if the flight is with SQ since I will get miles but alas, Philippines Airlines it is. The best part is I am invited to attend an appreciation dinner for a project that I participated in my previous job. I said I could make it at lunch time and by the end of the day of the day, I could not make it since I will be overseas during that week. Fuck yeah!! That better be a good sign for my previous boss that my current job is treating me better. Haiz.. clearly the confession, Christmas, and retreat still cannot make me completely forgive and forget all the hurt I have with the previous job sia..

It is barely a week in 2019 and it is already so hard to keep to the so called new year resolution. Yesterday I was tempted several times and I managed to resist. Today I decided to have a cheat day since after all I need to have a proper meal to replenish my blood after blood donation. Lol. Anyway I wanted to try the salted egg yolk fries from McD. I saw a friend posted on facebook after its release last week and he said it was not nice which sort of kill my interest. Well the curiosity still existed and I decided to try. The good news is there is no reason for trying again. Haha.. I think whoever came up with recipe has never tasted a real salted egg. The taste is so artifical/chemical as if they try to copy the taste of other salted egg products instead of the taste of the actual salted egg.

To top up the happy mood, I finally saw the manga drawing of myself that I won during AFA. I don't think it really looks like me because I sent a front and a side photo and this drawing is a combination of both. The shirt looks better than the photo that they are basing it from. But hey.. no complaining since I am happy with the lucky draw and with having a manga drawing of myself :D

I have no idea where the QR code leads to

Crossroads

I just finished a retreat titled Crossroads which is targeted for people between 20-35 years old to consider where they have been and where they would like to go, and to prayerfully discern the choices in their life. Despite the initial reservations that I had, I decided to take the plunge to register. I am very thankful for the courage since I am very glad that I actually attended the retreat.

I learnt a lot of things that will definitely help myself going forward.

-I am glad to know that what I am feeling and struggling with (i.e. not knowing what to do with my life) is not something abnormal. I always feel that I am weird, I am selfish, I am crazy, and so on but there are people out there who also feel what I am feeling.

-I learn to be appreciative what I have. It is kind of bad to think "misery loves company" but from the sharing of others, it gives the perspective that each of us has our own problems. Everyone is living our imperfect lives and there is no point comparing. Just an example, some have problem with a broken home, some have problem with controlling parents, and some do not have parents anymore. None of it is perfect but it gives the perspective that I should be happy with my current condition instead of having any of the other (whichever it is).

-Still about being thankful, looking back at my life journey, my life in Singapore is not as bad as I think. It is definitely not perfect but after really reflecting, I consider 50-60% of the years spent here as pretty good.

-As a perfectionist, I want myself and my life to be perfect. Instead of accepting my strengths and my weaknesses, most of the time I am emo over my weaknesses while taking my strengths for granted. I learn to accept myself as who I am, with both my strengths and weaknesses, and to make the best out of these.

There are 4 basic life impulses: to enjoy one's personhood, to grow in this personhood, to give, and to receive. Knowing this now, it makes sense now why I felt so suffocated in my previous job: I had to constantly lie to myself and others, to suppress myself, and to fake myself -all which is essentially opposite of what I treasure the most: honesty. I learnt the hard way that even with money and status, life feels empty when you have to sacrifice something that ultimately you treasure. The saying of "where your treasure is, there will your heart be" makes sense now.

Unfortunately feeling happier does not mean I am happy or find my life meaningful. I still want to die because I am satisfied with my life and there is nothing more I want. Everyday I am just wasting my life to "kill the time" until my time is up. While it is good that I am satisfied with my life, the reason for my emptiness and meaninglessness may be because I am selfish and only looking at myself. It seems that I am already satisfied with my life and I cannot make it even more "satisfying". This is a reminder for me to start looking outwards, to start doing something for others. Suddenly it came upon my mind again if I should explore my passion of teaching again.

I always thought that "discernment" means finding out if I am called to religious life. That is completely wrong. In fact, it may be wrong to think that we are fated to a particular way of life: whether single, married, or consecrated. God loves us and wants us to be happy, yet He also gives us the freedom to choose. We are confused of the options in front of us if they have pros and cons. We are confused because we have to choose the one that ultimately will make us happy. When there is a bad option, there is nothing to discern as we will not even consider that bad option in the first place. Thus to be able to exercise our freedom of choice, we have to explore to discover which option is the best.

That brings me to the next topic: girlfriend. It looks like the ideal of having one girlfriend who will eventually become a wife for a lifetime is just a dream. Haha.. I always expect that a discernment will help me find my calling and if my calling is to a married life, only then I will find a girlfriend. During retreat, Sister shared that "is married life for me?" is not a correct discernment question. It should be "is married to xxx my life calling?" instead. So yes, I need to explore being in a relationship first. Similarly for the possibility of other callings. The questions if how am I supposed to find someone when I don't even go out to socialise. Sigh...

I have been very wrong to keep praying for God to simply show me what is the best for me. In fact, by simply doing nothing/not taking action, I have indirectly made my choice to just wait and wait. Looking back, it is quite ironic to find that there are many times that I feel I should do something or join something but I pray for a "more obvious sign" before deciding. The signs never come and I end up waiting and waiting. In fact, signing up for RCIY, signing up for WYD, and signing up for this retreat are few examples where there were no signs but I just jumped to make the decision. Perhaps this is a reminder that I should just have the courage to go for the young adult group and register for the Landings. With the desire still present after few months, it is clearly a God sign right?

The biggest take home message is learning about Consciousness Examen which I should start doing daily in order to make discernment a habit in daily life. It involves 5 steps: prayer of enlightenment (to view things from God's perspective), thanksgiving, review of the day, contrition, and hopeful resolution for tomorrow. I realise that usually my daily prayers are more or less having this same formula, except for the enlightenment. However, I am just bulldozing through my prayers as formality rather than putting in thoughts.

I was worried that I would be the odd one out and the other participants would be younger people. It turned out to be the opposite: out of 9 participants, only 2 are still studying. I don't know if it is a coincidence but one common similarity for majority of us is in some parts of our lives, we have studied overseas. It seems that studying overseas somehow breaks lives sia.. Since majority of us are working now, I don't really feel left out with conversation topics such as diet and exercising. Lol. Apparently my regular exercising in a HIIT gym for almost 2 years now is considered a great feat. Well something has got to go for the time and I suppose that is why I am still single haha.. Although why am I still so fat then?

I am quite okay with the retreat place (CHOICE Retreat House) and my only complaint is the room has a damp smell. Other than that, everything is ok. The facade may look a bit old and run down but the aircon in the room is cooling and the shower in the toilet is even better than then toilet at where I am staying now. Lol. I am quite grateful for my roommate too as we were able to exchange stories of our lives. I enjoyed the home cooked meals prepared by the Sisters and I feel slimmer now from healthy eating in the past 2 days.

After the retreat today, I managed to go to gym but decided not to donate blood. There was traffic jam at Orchard and I reached the blood bank at 430pm. There were still so many people registering so it would be a long wait. Considering that the blood bank closes at 5pm, I decided not to sabo the working staff. One additional person so close to closing time means OT for them.

Goodbye painful 2018

I did not have any meals with rice for the past 2 days and I had a bad gastric pain yesterday afternoon. 6 antacids and 60mg omeprazole later, there was still discomfort and I kept rolling on the bed until don't know what time. Eventually I managed to fall asleep and I woke up without the pain. So at least my new year's eve is not ruined and I can feel less emo recalling my 2018.

Work
Work destroyed my life and I was overwhelmed with all the negativity that I cannot remember anything positive from it. I gained the experience of hiring, firing, doing appraisal, and promoting people and that was it. I had been wanting to leave the job since the last few years so I suppose finally God answered my prayers. No doubt I am angry and bitter of getting no promotion and lousier grade from the more work at the same pay grade in the past year but looking back, I am thankful for that final push to finally putting an end to this toxic and abusive relationship. I feel much happier and finally have a work-life balance with my new work so the past 3 months have been pretty great for me.

Finance
I am broke or I think definitely I am broke. With the sudden demise of my laptop, I basically lost the excel file of records of all my spendings since 2011. While I have some back up from my MoneyLover app, I am too lazy to rearrange the data into the excel file. The failure to do so definitely makes me lose track of my spending. Not to mention that I went to Japan twice this year and just paid for the next trip in April 2019 yesterday. Add on to the sudden surge on toys spending in December without the year end bonus after the job change.. Oh la la.. Let's shall not talk about money anymore. Haha..

Health
Let's talk about mental and physical health separately. Without exaggerating, I really think I was going insane before I changed job. It was not so much about the stress but more of the meaninglessness of what I did that all the stress was not worth it. Comparing to the work-life balance I enjoy now against the money, it is safe to say that I have learnt my priorities. Money and status cannot buy health or happiness or enjoyment in life.

Physically I have not been taking a good care of myself as much as I wish. I still go to gym regularly and definitely can feel that it helps with the muscle strength. My main goal of weight loss, however, is still a dream. I can't be disciplined with my diet and binge eating so gym only helps to prevent me from going over the 70s. Shudder.. Recently I hurt my back and I am not sure if it was from overexertion, from ergonomics with the recent change to a desk-bound job, or a combination of both.

Family life
Family life took a plunge this year. It is ironic considering I flew home a few times since my grandma and an aunt passed away this year. It is painful and disappointing when your family is not supportive in your difficulties. I gave up and if my family cares more about their work and money, so be it. Why should I bother? I have been away and living alone for so long anyway and they don't matter as I don't matter. Currently there is so much anger within me that I choose keeping quiet as the lesser of the two evils than to lash out. With fewer days of annual leave now, I do not know if I will ever spend holidays at home anymore. I find talking to my parents awkward now as they have made it clear repeatedly that money, status, and work are more important to them than my own well being.

Personal life
I usually dislike cliches but my 2018 experience proves that what does not kill me makes me stronger and I have to agree that I am a millennial after all. Haha.. It was such a difficult decision to quit my job because of the comfort zone, the money, and the status. I worked there for 6+1 years and there were some changes and legacies that I left behind. Not to mention that as a manager, there was some power and control that I had. In the end, I made the plunge to prioritise my happiness above all. The experience of quitting a job and starting fresh again will definitely be valuable. This is my first time after all so it will be less difficult to do it again in the future if the needs arise.

For a quick break before starting the new job, I went for a solo trip to Tokyo. Similarly, having done it the first time, it will be less difficult to do it again and hence I will be going to Japan again next year alone. I will try to be even more adventurous there: to visit a place I have not visited before and to find a local tour guide to accompany me.

So yeah.. who needs family or friends? They are all humans after all.. The one that I need and cannot run away is...

God
I was away from church since 2017 and I only returned after my life turned into shit. I started attending mass again in August as I was desperate to find for a new job (at that time I already made up my mind that I would quit without even securing a new job first). Looking back, perhaps everything that happened was God's call to return. That reason alone makes everything worth it. Call me naive but this is the very same reason that I tell myself to justify all my angst since being sent away to Singapore in 2002: at least it allows me to be a Catholic.

2018 is easily the worst year I had that I can remember. To confirm that, I read back my reflection posts from previous years and I chuckled at the irony that I said at the end of 2017: no way 2018 would be worse than 2017. 2018 is not a roller coaster but a nosedive for me. Everything just became super shit in the middle of the year. I am thankful that things are picking up again after I took the plunge to quit.

For the first time ever in my life, I just went to the end of year Thanksgiving Mass. Add in another cliche here: I will not know or appreciate happiness if I have not experienced shit. The Beatitudes was the Gospel reading today and it was the first time I could appreciate the irony behind all the "happy/blessed".

With that, I would like to prioritise the following in 2019:
1) Spirituality
I am not interested in getting married as I am too engrossed in making myself happy. At the same time, I am not interested in chasing after money or I have a calling to serve God. Honestly, I don't know what I want to do with my life. It is never a joke when I say I want to die because I am pretty happy and satisfied with my life now that life is simply going through the motion without any life goals.

2) Health
Let's start with zero bubble tea, followed by potato chips, and getting back to my L-men cereal as dinner. It is going to be difficult but I did it in the past so I can do it again if I am ready to be discipline again.

3) Finance
Aiyo, at the very least, try to tidy up the recording sia. It is not really about the money but the data will be a bearing on how damaged my diet and how crazy my toy spending are. With that, it will be another reminder to push my discipline for health.

I do not want to let work control me so I want to keep a low profile. As long as I earn enough and work does not affect my personal life, I am satisfied. For family, I give up hurting and trying. I will only pray that God will give them happiness that I cannot give.

Goodbye painful 2018 and I look forward to a better 2019.

HAPPY

NEW

YEAR

2019

Fakebook

As the year is ending and I cannot go home for holiday, I shall use the time to tidy up my life before the new year comes. With all the incoming toys that I have bought and pre-ordered, I have no choice but to pack some of the boxes to my extra storage space. I spent the past 2 nights finding the most optimum way to pack and this morning I finally placed 2 large boxes.

Now this is how my extra storage space looks like

For record purpose, I am updating the information from the previous post about this storage space. The size of my locker is 1.10m (depth) x 1.22m (width) x 1.31m (height). The sizes of the Tsume boxes are Virgo 82cm x 60cm x 49cm, Shiryu 78cm x 50cm x 48cm, Leo 77cm x 46cm x 45cm, and Ikki 48cm x 38cm x 35cm. For the 2 boxes that I put today:

~Small box (46cm x 34cm x 32cm) has the empty boxes of Aoba and Shinji and Kaworu listening to music

~Big box (57cm x 41cm x 46cm) has empty boxes of Athena Exclamation bookends, Sailor Jupiter Figuarts, Lynx from Chrono Cross, Heero and Relena, 6 Kuroko Break Time figures, and 3 Ace of Diamond palmmate figures.

With the new year coming, Orchard Christmas decoration will be removed soon and I realise that I don't have any friends to help me take picture. How sad my life is. Not to mention that my family life has been shit lately. I am just in a bad mood and so sian of my parents only thinking about work, money, and nagging about finding wife bla bla bla. I have equally shit options of ignore messages or replying rudely so I choose the former. Honestly, with unhappy family life so far, it is not surprising that I am not interested to start one myself. With the realisation of the sad state of my life, I decided to register for a retreat next week. Initially I planned to register after reflecting my life but since I was busy with packing the past few days, I did not have the time to do so. Let's see if this retreat allow me to hear what God wants me with my life.

Anyway it is a good thing that I realise and I acknowledge my miserable life without shame. Lol. Different people use social media for different reasons. I don't have instagram and only have facebook so I am only referring to facebook. I use facebook to back up my photos and share emo statuses more than happy ones. Happy things just keep to myself and no need to boast ma. So it is not surprising that now I feel much better at work, the frequency of my status updates also drops. Last Saturday I met my secondary school senior and when I told him that I am happier with my new job, he said "No wonder your facebook last time was like that and nowadays is not like that".

Others, however, may use facebook to hao lian their lives, or to pretend that they are happy, or perhaps I am just being biased. The reason why I say this is because I am shocked when an ex-colleague confided to me that she is stressed with her husband being unfaithful, she is clinically depressed, etc. It is totally unexpected since everything looks fine and sunny in her facebook. I am at age where my peers are getting married, having kids, etc and my main pet peeve is when they share all the small things going on with their relationship and kids. I can understand if you are happy when you are engaged, married, honeymoon, celebrating birthdays or anniversaries. However, if daily/weekly meals or sports or activities also want to post, I am honestly just wondering if you are really enjoying your life because for me when I am busy enjoying my life, my digital life is my least priority. Sorry for being salty and perhaps that is why I am so lonely as I share few similarities with majority of people.

I am also catching up with two friends that I had not been contacting for a long time. I was surprised when one just moved back to Jakarta this August. Ouch :( Last time I occasionally met up with him to drown our sorrows sia. I am emo but then realise that he is more emo than me sia. At least I don't share his sentiment of the boredom living in Singapore like have to rent a place or take public transport. My main gripe with my previous job was because of the job itself but in general I am okay living in my mancave. Haha.. Now with stress level at the job is better, my stress shifts to family. Bleah.. Life can never be perfect eh. Another friend is the one who moved to Surabaya a few years ago. We lost contact because I blocked him on facebook during the 2014 election because I did not find it political jokes funny. So I wished him Merry Christmas through LINE and with the election coming, I tell him I will block him in LINE as well if he starts the political stuff again.

I have decided on my next YOLO trip next year during my birthday. Initially I planned of only going to Japan over the weekend before realising that it will be Good Friday on the friday after my birthday. Thus it makes more sense to take the whole week. I want to explore Tottori since I really want to visit Conan town. The sand dunes also excite me as I can paraglide, sandboard, or ride a camel. I have no friend with similar interests ba. The things that hold me back is I have never been to Tottori before and communication barrier since Tottori is not a major tourism area yet. Thus I am stuck with getting a local guide. Other than that, I have done with my research for the flights, hotels, etc. After 3-4 days at Tottori, of course my plan is to visit Disneyland again. Hahaha.. As of now I do not have plan B yet if I cannot get a guide for Tottori so I am really praying hard to hear a positive response soon.

I thought of going to Paris Disneyland but my colleague who just came back from holiday at Austria and East Europe just shared her experience of almost getting her phone snatched in broad daylight when her kids were using the phone. Oh no.. I am not going to take a risk or going but not able to enjoy because keep thinking of security.

Megane Ichiba x Digimon Adventure Tri spectacles (DGM-07HOPE)

The last time I bought spectacles was in 2014 and they are still in excellent condition. The experimentation with PC lens is not as successful as I enjoy wearing them only at work. I find it helpful when having to focus on computer work at work but I find it more tiring when I am looking at my laptop or phone for leisure. The PC lens also looks quite ugly in photos as they reflect light. Thus for daily activities, I am still wearing my oldest pair which unfortunately I had accidentally slept over it and the temples are bent. Just a reminder that temples are the long part of the frame that rests on the temples and hooks to the ears. As part of aging, some the plastic part of the temples have crumbled. The combination of the bending of the temples and sharp edges from the crumbled plastic part actually hurts my right temple. Perhaps add the fact that I am getting fatter also. Therefore the time is right to get a new pair and the resistant to buy when coming across the Digimon spectacles is lowered.

Having said that, although I am crazy about anime stuff, I am not crazy enough to buy wearables if I do not plan to wear it. It was difficult to decide without seeing the physical products or trying them so I admit that I did take a risk. 3 designs (Yamato, Joe, and Takeru's) caught my interest for different reasons: Yamato's colour seems to be the most practical and less embarrassing to wear, Joe's because Gomamon is my favourite digimon, but in the end I bought Takeru's for having the smallest lens size among the three. I prefer smaller lens so without trying, I cannot imagine if these big lenses fit my face and I chose to be safe. I was worried if the orange colour will be too bright but I decided that since I like to wear green, the worst thing that can happen is I will look like kid Takeru. Haha.. Learning from my previous experience with PC lens, I choose normal lens without any gimmick for this as I plan to have this as my daily spectacles.

I am so happy that I received the spectacles on the Christmas Eve and this is the Christmas present that I am most eager to wait. I am even happier with the quality. The fit for the eyes is perfect and I do not feel any giddiness or discomfort. The spectacles is very light and is comfortable to wear. The lenses are thinner than the ones I have from Owndays. The best surprise is it is not as orange as it looks in the website and hence it will not be too anime-like to wear.

I am glad to choose this as I think the lens is too wide. I am finding it weird now but maybe I will get used to how I look since this is my very first time I wear this type of lens. I think they should have made the lens smaller because real life humans do not have eyes as big as anime characters whose eyes can easily be 1/2 or 1/3 of their faces. However, the frame has lighter shade of colour at the bottom part of the lens so that helps not to accentuate the size.

I am not going to write on the details as they can be found here but I will post photos of the real item. Hehe..

Everything that I received

The wipe: I prefer if they use the Tri version like in the website leh

The website says the design is based on Digivice but I don't really pay attention to Digivice. I am not too pleased with the material of the case though.

Digimon Adventure Tri engraving inside the case. Pretty sure the butterflies are reference to the most iconic Digimon song (Butter-fly) and 8 butterflies to represent the 8 digidestined.

Looks more like brown than orange

The golden triangle is based on the plate on Angemon's thigh/knee.

Blue-transparent colour scheme is based on Angemon's colour scheme. The 'thingy' at the end of the temples is based on the engraving on Seraphimon's waist plate.

Symbol of Digicrest of Hope

The shop still gave me the original display lens

I can guess the blue-transparent reference to Angemon but I have to google about Angemon's golden triangle and Seraphimon's waist plate as they are not something so noticeable in the series. With the anime elements so subtle, I think these spectacles are designed for people to seriously wear it and not for playthings of the anime fans. The price is not cheap too as it is similar to my Owndays spectacles. The domestic shipping is free so in total this cost me 16200 yen (price) + 786 yen (proxy service fee) + 180 yen (bank transfer free) + 1400 yen (I chose EMS so that I could get it before Christmas).

Special mention to Goody Japan (my proxy) for helping to get this. I know ordering spectacles with a degree from online is not something that people normally do but I managed to persuade them to agree to help me after I sent them the screenshot of the website after I put the degrees and they could just copy that image.

NB: I tag this post as 'Toys' just for my ease of searching in case I need to refer to this again in the future.

I'll NOT be home for Christmas

Every time I cannot go home for Christmas, it means that my life is shit. The first time this happened was in 2010 because of FYP. This year it happens because of my previous fucking job that made me change job and hence I do not have enough leave yet for this December. So basically, this year is the first time I have to work through the Christmas and New Year period.

Anyway working on Christmas eve was not as bad as expected since my boss was also in a holiday mood. Out of the 4 hours working, we spent 2 hours to discuss things (related to work). Similar to 2010, the only thing I enjoy is when shopkeepers wish me Merry Christmas. I went for the midnight mass yesterday and I think I am too old for that: I felt tired, did not really concentrate for the mass, and was KO-ed until 130pm today. Oh well.. 

This Christmas is a reminder to re-orientate my faith. There is so much hoo hah about Disney Christmas decoration in Orchard. I joked with a friend that I will choose Disney over religion if I have to. It looks like that I follow the correct religion and I feel relieved after reading the Archbishop comments about this topic. Commercialisation and secularisation of Christmas are undeniable but as Christians, we are reminded not to lose Christ from Christmas. Without Christ, Christmas is just another festivity and public holiday. Honestly, this is also the same sentiment I have. I do not see anything offensive if non-believers want to celebrate Christmas as a festivity and I think that it is better than no celebration at all. We never know if it will make some non-believers to be curious about the real Christmas. In fact, I will find it offensive and a desecration if they put real Christian elements (like Jesus, the cross, Mother Mary, etc) for decorations. So yeah, my Catholic faith and my liking for Disney can still go hand in hand. Lol.

As part of desire to re-orientate my faith, I am interested in a retreat in January and in joining Landings programme for next year but I am still hesitating. That is not surprising as it is not the first time (and nor will it be the last time) that the Devil will pull me away every time I want to move closer to God. I never had a chance for a retreat in my previous job as I had to work on alternate Saturdays. The chance has finally come and I would like to discern with what I want to do with my life. I keep saying that I want to die since I am satisfied with my life and I have no more life goals. I may not be happy but I am not chasing happiness either so basically I just do not know what I want to do with my life. For Landings, I have been in and out of church repeatedly and this is the second time I feel the desire to join. A part of me is telling me that since now I am back to attending mass, I have returned and is no longer returning so maybe I don't need to attend Landings anymore. That is exactly the same excuse I had previously. Now I am planning to skim through my blog for reality check to find out how frequent and previous reasons for being in and out of church for the past few years. I hope I can do it tomorrow to realise how messed up my life and faith have been and it is time to really make a change.

Meanwhile, Merry Christmas and God bless :) I am not so merry as I am still tired after midnight mass yesterday but I am grateful that my landlord cooked and offered me to eat his Mee Siam for lunch. At least I did not need to go out today. Haha.. Now back to emoing of having to work tomorrow T_T

Randomly found from google/tumblr