Dad loves car

Yesterday was the first night that I was able to sleep uninterrupted. It gave me hope that my sleeping pattern had returned to normal which turned out to be a false hope. Last night, I had interrupted sleep again and I had two dreams about my dad.

First dream was about me wanting to open an umbrella to take out things from the car. However, my dad said to let him do that and asked me to wait at the covered part in front of the house so that he could pass over the things. I even vividly remembered that at the end of this dream, I told him to be careful and not to slip.

Second dream was about I would be late for school (for exam!) because my sisters were hogging the toilet for too long. My dad turned out to be already waiting in the car to drive me. I noticed that he was reading the newspaper while waiting for me and he was wearing the shorts usually he wore at home. I was quite emo because of this dream awakened the childhood memories at home before I came to Singapore. It was dad who drove us (including my sisters) to school when I was in junior high school. It was just like the dream: it was always him waiting in the car and chasing after us while we were still busy going to the toilet at last minute, putting our socks and shoes, or even finishing the last bite of the breakfast.

I dreamt about my dad again during my nap earlier. There was something first (which I could not recall) and I only remembered when he asked me to wake up at 6am tomorrow to follow him to go to Puncak. His car was making noises and he wanted me to help him video it so after that he could review the Youtube video to investigate the noise. Haha... no idea why Youtube was specifically mentioned. I immediately woke up because I was giving him black face. Lol.. It is not that I hate to go to Puncak, it is just that only once in a blue moon that I will be happy to go. What made me black face in the dream was about the something that I could not recall. I was like "Eh got that something happening but you want me to wake up so early tomorrow to go to Puncak with you".

The funny thing is I just noticed that the common thing across these three dreams is CAR. Perhaps car is indeed his most favourite object in the house. Haha.. People say that perhaps my dad visited me to say that he is already in the better place and that is how he can send me the message in the dream. The realistic part of me think that it was just a coincidence. It was raining heavily and repeatedly last night, I was chatting with my sister and jokingly angry at her before I slept last night, and I am watching Youtube videos too much lately. These are why they appeared in my dreams. The fallacy with this theory, however, is that I have not been thinking of my dad lately so why would my brain carry such thought in my sleep.

Whatever it is, I do not want to overthink or be sad or cry about my dad. I would like to freely let him be in heaven than making him worried about him. Nonetheless, these dreams made me emo again with the realisation that with his passing, everything that he had worked hard for was also left behind. So what is the point of working hard and how should I make use of my life? Sigh...