Halloween

I am not into Halloween since my life is already a Halloween everyday. My heart is so empty, I hate my life so yeah basically I am a living dead everyday. Anyway the reason for my post today is because of my gym which went all out with their decorations this year. They even got the coaches to dress up and lead the sessions with their costumes. I am glad that I went yesterday when I was able to see more coaches dressing up. One dressed up as Levi Ackerman, one dressed up in maid costume, one dressed up as the Squid Game creepy girl doll statue just to name a few.

I am grateful that a couple pulled out last minute from their Mass registration and I was able to go for Mass yesterday. Thank God I somehow was bothered to check for my luck on Friday night and that was when I saw available slots. I felt kinda guilty for taking up a space for the Mass reserved for the unvaccinated but since until before the Mass there was still one last available slot. That meant I did not deny anyone of that slot.

Tomorrow is November and it is time for me to get disciplined with my diet again. I gained almost 5kg in October simply from getting laxed with my meals since I needed to hit my credit card spending. Of course I still blame the fucking vaccine as the initial cause of lethargy and hunger at the start of the month. Add on the excuse of annual 28 October emo. From November, I am back to monthly payment for my gym so there should not be a problem for hitting credit card requirement just from my normal spendings. Haiz.. It is going to be tough to avoid all the bubble teas, sweet drinks and junk food again. What is the point of living!

Nearly 2 decades

It is that time of the year again when no matter how lazy I am, I will drag myself to post something to drown in my own sorrows. It has been 19 years and now my prayer is: how long must I endure this kind of life any longer? Haiz.. Nonetheless, I feel slightly different this year as I am looking at the possibility of hiding back in Jakarta until all the COVID discrimination ends here. I will refuse getting a third Sinopharm dose even if it means I will be demoted back to my unvaccinated status. It is ridiculous forcing people to take the third dose three months after the second dose when currently the only information I know about third dose is at six months after the second dose. Even so, that is for the 60 years and above. Let's see if in the next two months there will be change in rules or there will be data to convince me about the safety of the third dose.

That enraged me over the weekend but I felt better after telling my boss on Monday on my intention.  At least she can plan if she will let me WFH if only those with vaccinated status can be in office from next January or if she will let me work from Jakarta. In worst case scenario, I can also resign since health and life are more precious than job. Currently the only thing stopping me from flying back is I have not renewed my passport and it has less than 6 months expiry. I was planning to renew it in January next year or so but now I am thinking of trying to do it in November of December. With 5k+ cases yesterday, perhaps soon other countries will ban me from flying so I better do it faster.

I have returned to gym and am slowly regaining the stamina back. I managed to go for two consecutive days (Tuesday and Wednesday) but I still have a long way to go with the muscle strength. After pull up yesterday, my back and shoulder are sore and I expect that I can only exercise again on Saturday. Even for push up yesterday, I felt unusual at my elbows, forearms and wrists which means my body is trying to get used on using the correct muscles.

Ironically as I am exercising again, my weight is going up again. I am 63kg now while I was still 61kg before returning to gym 2 weeks ago. Bleah.. I don't know if my weighing machine is spoilt or I have been loosening my diet lately so that I can hit $500 credit card spending this week. I am quite upset because I already cut down on junk food. My favourite Kettle potato chips has increased in price to $5.60 now. Previously they were $4.95 and I only bought during offer when the price per bag would be below $4. With the current price, I do not think it will go under $4 even with sale. That means I have one fewer poison to worry about. Now I have to be careful not to be tempted with those under $2 potato chips.

Despite the weight worries, today is an exception. To commemorate the sad day of the first time I started a new life in this foreign land, I splurged a bit on food today:

Although these seems excessive for dinner, the consolation is that usually I eat these as tea break on the days when I cannot stave of the temptation. I want to say that I will go back to normal from tomorrow but I think realistically, I will be excusing myself until Sunday. At least that is until the 'end of the month'.

Man cave cleaning

Nothing is eternal except for the love of God. It took me 8 days to finish dusting of my man cave. It is long overdue since the last time I did that was around CNY. As previously, it feels like a chore before doing it but it feels therapeutic when doing it. It allowed me to 'play' with my toys more closely. That also means I get to see any imperfections clearly. Whether the material is PVC, ABS, or resin, nothing can withstand the test of time no matter how good I take care of them. This time I did not feel too upset and I have sort of accepted the impermanence of everything. Inevitably, it gets me thinking of the fate of my toys at home in Jakarta. Although my cabinet is covered, it has been more than 2 years since the last time I cleaned them. At the end of the day, I just have to view that whatever amount of money spent on them, they have at least already given happiness in the past 5-10 years.

Yesterday I finally watched Novena Church's production titled Timeless Mother. Initially I felt sian when seeing it running for almost an hour. I became even more sian because it is in Mandarin so I had to read the subtitle. Thus it was God's blessings that I was able to watch everything. I am reminded that miracles do exist. I have sort of given up God when it comes to health matters since my prayers are never answered. Just within the recent 1.5 years, I already lost my dad, an uncle and an auntie. Being trained in medical field also makes me more pragmatic when it comes to health matters although on the other side, it is easier for me to know when only God's miracle will help. Ah and thank God that after watching this, I got the inspiration and am now done with the questions for the next Landings bulletin. At least I can put this matter out of my mind until December.

I am finally feeling back to normal after my second vaccination dose. I gained 3kg in just one week and now I have to train my body to get used to previous diet. Haiz it is a constant battle again against the temptation of sugar-loaded bubble tea, junk food and overeating in general. I hope today is a good start since I managed not to buy any junk food. Yesterday I still bought Salted Egg Lays from mamashop downstairs. This is made in Thailand and I never saw this flavour in supermarkets before. I was expecting it to be more expensive than Lays' supermarket price ($4.75) so I was pleasantly surprised that it was only $4.50. I hardly tasted salted egg so it was a waste of calories. Though on the brighter side, at least I won't be curious and won't buy it anymore.

This is why I am quite pissed with the recent discriminatory measures against the unvaccinated not allowed to go shopping malls anymore. People can survive without dining in but unable to buy groceries in shopping malls is just too much. I am not pro or anti vaccine but I am pro-science. What is the point of yakking about vaccination when the vaccine itself has proven to be of questionable effectiveness? It is just a matter of time before no booster = unvaccinated so even though I escape the discrimination for now, it will affect me too in the near future. On the bright side, at least now I can travel to more countries if I want. Too bad my passport is within 6 months of expiry which is as good as already expired.

Da...zzz...ed

It is day 3 after my second Sinopharm dose and I am still feeling sleepy. I have been mostly sleeping over the weekend and the drowsiness does not go away. So it is clearly due to the vaccine. I won't be complaining because this side effect is definitely much better than having fever or any other flu like symptoms. Hehe... The injection was by the same nurse as my first dose but this time I experienced no arm pain.

As a reward for myself for keeping my food expenses comfortably below $200 last month, I treated myself at Don Don Donki after my vaccination on Friday. I managed to avoid overeating and only bought sushi and takoyaki. If I followed my gluttony, I would have bought the fried squid and some fried fish cake too and then I would just be emoing the whole night from stomachache. Oh I also bought Koi and I was surprised that a large cup + topping cost me above $6 now. My bubble tea limit is $5 so I guess no more Koi for me from now on. Since letting myself go with this treat, I am constantly tempted with all dietary indiscretions again. Sigh.. It does not help that I have been stuck at 60kg and cannot seem to go lower.

Deliveroo sent me a $8 voucher since I have stopped using them. I utilised it for my lunch on Saturday. It was difficult to order food delivery again as anything more expensive than $8 (after the voucher) already looked unappetising to me. Yesterday I bought 3 packs of made in Vietnam Lays because Fairprice had it on sale. The price tag was $1.25 per bag but when I checked out, it was actually $0.95. Darn.. I should have bought more. And surprise surprise, I finished all 3 packs yesterday. Today I was constantly tempted with ordering bubble tea, getting ice cream or potato chips from mini mart, going to bakery for dinner and fiuh.. I managed to restrain myself.

I am currently feeling rather irritated with some Church people pertaining to the bulletin. Jeez... Perhaps I am just a bad team player but I really hate working with people who want their ways and then try manipulating others to agree and do their ways. Then you might as well do it yourself because I am not going to be manipulated. In addition this is supposedly a Church work but why do they seem to have their personal agenda and suggest things for their convenience instead of sticking to the purpose of the bulletin in the first place and trying to make things easier for others. I already feel like abandoning the ship but this is a reminder of the meaning of the Transfiguration which I heard from a homily previously. I cannot be just wanting to be close to God but abandon my life and responsibilities. I cannot serve God if I do not work with others so I just have to remind myself that I do this for God and not for myself. Conflict is inevitable since we are all humans after all.

At the end of the day, I think I am just being more sensitive recently because of the constant feeling of drowsiness. I should not feel as down as currently once this drowsiness side effect fades away.

Things will get better

Looking back at this post from last year, the pattern is clearer now. Storm will always come during the period when I have to prepare my faith story. In the past two weeks, I felt that all the low points in my life which made me upset at God in the past resurfaced again. I am fed up with my family quarreling over household things like food and cleaning house while I am homeless here. I am also sick with helping my landlady every time she falls down. For goodness sake, I am not her personal caregiver. She falls down more frequently and yet does not do anything differently to avoid falling. Some colleagues were irritating last week and I had to keep telling myself not to get too emotional as it was just a heat of the moment. I stopped my regular bottled coffee/tea/mocha for a few months and it makes my body very sensitive to caffeine. Last week I bought 2 bottles for fun and on the two different days when I drank them, I had difficulty sleeping. The improper sleep contributed to my constantly irritated self as well.

The peak was yesterday. I deliberately logged in earlier just in case my office laptop would update something and lag. Everything was fine until when praise and worship began and the laptop decided to update. I had to install and use Zoom using my phone again like last year. Luckily the laptop managed to settle down and I did the faith story using the laptop. Fiuh.. with this over now, these disruptions should stop. That is why only today that I feel calmer and more willing to blog something. I also just completed praying the Rosary and the Chaplet of Saint Michael. Today is the feast day of Sts Michael, Gabriel and Raphael the Archangels which is the reason for me to pray the Chaplet on top of the Rosary today. When I just bought the chaplet last year, I intended on praying both daily but obviously I am not driven enough to do that. So thank God for allowing me to have a good state of mind to pray both prayers tonight.

With the month coming to an end, my money woes ends too. I am unnecessarily stressed trying to hit $500 spending without going 'overbudget' for my meals as I am worried about my weight and without spending on unnecessary things too. I am glad for September, I am comfortably under $200 for meals. Sadly, it is difficult to go under 60kg. I was so happy last week to hit 60kg again but I am at 61kg again today. Bleah... I guess that is a motivation for me to decide on extending my gym membership so that is $3060 down the drain. No thanks to all this vaccination discrimination, it stops me from going to gym and makes me lazy to do home exercises to.

Genshin Impact celebrates its 1 year anniversary yesterday. I do not really care about all the hoohah about the non-existent anniversary reward or atmosphere in the game as I still enjoy playing. Yes I spend money for the game but it motivates me to cut my spending on food. So far this strategy works well since I save more from the food as compared to the actual amount I spend for the game. If only it is effective for my weight loss too hehe..

The game keeps some data and share some of these milestones to celebrate our journey with the game so far. Too bad they do not put how much money I have spent to be part of this. Haha... Anyway, my highlight is Zhongli. I started spending in the game in order to get him last year. I suppose it is not a wrong investment since indeed I play with him the most, even up to today.

I just realised that I never post any picture of him so here is the cool guy who has been carrying me in game and makes me enjoy the game so far. I hope you don't get powercrept or become obsolete anytime soon.

Emotional

I usually blog after donating blood as reminder in case I forget when I am due for the next donation. That means I was supposed to write on last Saturday but I have been lazy and spending too much time with Genshin Impact. I arrived slightly before 10am and I was already the 8th person in the queue. Wew... Lucky for me that there were some first timers among those who arrived before me so they took more time with their forms and I managed to 'cut' queue. I went to Donki to get lunch and decided to skip the usual sushi to try their chashu don. I would say it is cheaper and more worth than the usual tray of salmon sushi. Hehe..

Miraculously I managed to hit 60kg for the first time this week. Ironically, this week happened to be my junkiest week. I finished 6 bags of Kettle potato chips this week. Last week I saw ongoing buy 2 get 1 free promotion (i.e. $9.90 for 3 bags) and I bought one on both Saturday and Sunday. I promise that I will no longer buy potato chips for the rest of the month and I am able to keep up with my promise so far. At least today I was not tempted to buy despite seeing the promotion is still ongoing.

I also lost my cool with work today. When shit happens, my boss will often ask me to settle the shit as I try to be helpful. I know usually others will lose cool and complain to my boss and although sometimes the reason is unreasonable, my boss just wants to help the complainer and asks me to look into the stuff. Hence I come the rubbish bin. I am tired and sick of it and I am not going to be a good guy like last year to just settle all the shit.

Today I snapped because someone who is resigning also mentions that she is overworking herself. The main reason for her to leave is basically the pay and this 'overworking' is not really the matter. The worst part is that she is overworking herself and it is not a problem with the workload to begin with. That's why I refused when being asked about the task distribution. I am already very lenient with my deadlines to the point that I have to adjust my own work to accommodate others and I know that we are not overworking the team. That is why I refuse to even look at the weekly task distribution because the issue is not with the task but with the person. She is not asked to overwork and the deadline of the tasks is not urgent or demanding so it is her own decision and problem that she overworks. Do not make that into my problem!

Anyway this matter was already discussed since last week so I am already really pissed over it over the week. But it was going to pile on me if I did not defend myself today and that was why I lost my cool. Anyway I was not only defending myself but indirectly also my boss and the team lead. I want them to realise that this is not a problem caused by us/management. Our expectations are reasonable and does not require overtime or what. We also do not expect people to overwork. The problem is the person so we should address the person. Do not try to tweak the work as if the problem is with the work/management.

Perhaps the blessing in disguise from this is that I decided not to be a facilitator for the upcoming Landings run. I was asked last week and I had a hard time thinking about it. On one side, I felt that this was one way that God called me to contribute: there are few returnees in the younger age and I am one of the youngest so perhaps I can connect better if I am the facilitator. On the other side, I felt that I did not have anymore mental and emotional capacity to 'take care' of others anymore. I am already tired taking care of others at work. Thus as much as I wanted to help facilitating, I might end up doing disservice if I lose my cool subsequently. In the end, I decided to say no since I know my short-fused self very well. 

My vaccine woe is finally ending and I just had my first Sinopharm dose this afternoon. I think my left will be sore tomorrow but at least I am 50% immune from discrimination now hehe.. The clinic I went to is located at Tanjong Pagar Plaza. Despite the name, I was surprised that this is actually an old shopping centre like in the 90s. I was expecting it to be some atas shopping mall since it is located in quite atas area.

The main drive for me to write this tonight is the overwhelming emotion from losing an aunt who is staying in New Zealand. I was still whatsapp-ing with her until last Thursday. I stopped because I ran out of topic. She was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer few months ago and recently she had been in hospital due to side effects from her first cycle of chemotherapy. Through my communication with her, I thought it was just normal GI side effects from the chemo and it would get better in time. It was really a shock when this Tuesday she was already transferred to a hospice. She just passed away a few hours ago.

I cried quite badly on Tuesday when I received the news as when I saw the photo, I knew it was just a matter of time. She is technically an outside relative as she is married to my uncle who is my mum's brother. Yet she is the most caring aunt because she notes down everyone's birthday: all my uncles and aunts and their spouses, my cousins and even their kids. When she came to Jakarta, she always brought everyone an individual gift. That really shows her love and care for all of us. Before the era of whatsapp, she wished me birthday through email and I still have those emails. She would even be asking about my sister who was not really using email then. Last year during my dad's passing, she was always eager to ask me for the livestream link of the all the masses.

As always, there is nothing I can do except to pray. I hope she is no longer in pain and is now in a better place with God in Heaven. If my dad can hear me, I hope he will also pray for her now to return the favour of her praying for him last year. I am also thankful to God that I still managed to message her last week and the week before that. Earlier this year, I decided to cut off all contacts and I did not even reply her birthday wish. Out of the blue my uncle messaged me two weeks ago. I was initially tempted to ignore since I did not know if my mum asked me to check on me. However, I heard about my aunt's cancer previously and hence I decided to reply my uncle. Surprisingly, my aunt messaged me the following day after hearing about me from my uncle. Today I just heard from my aunt who lives in the Netherlands that few weeks ago she was asked my aunt who passed away if she was able to contact me. T_T

Sigh.. it has been really tough these past 2 years after losing my dad, an uncle just barely 2 months ago and now an aunt. God when is my turn? It is easier for me to go than to see others go before me.

Gundam (Wing) fever

Two weeks ago I missed the preorder for limited edition 1/144 RX-78-2 Gundam Japan Pavilion Expo 2020 Dubai. I checked 2 hours after the email came in and the item was already sold out. I checked Premium Bandai facebook page and missed another batch of preorder few days later. Thank goodness they opened another batch which is still available until today so I bought two sets.

In another email today, there are new batch of Gundam Wing goods. Previously I bought the Tricolor set. Unlike previously when I was so eager to buy the moment I saw the merchandises, this time I was hesitant because of the monochrome white theme which I find boring.

Honestly I am rather tempted with the towel but it is not really worth buying just one item because of Premium Bandai's shipping. Sadly the shipping for these items is in November. If only they are also in  January 2022,  I will definitely get the towel since I can combine the flat shipping fee with the Gundam Japan Pavilion Expo.

Because of searching more information about this set, I discovered that I missed out so many Gundam Wing stuff from Gundam Cafe. When I could travel frequently to Japan in the past, there was never Gundam Wing collaboration. In the midst of COVID-19, suddenly Gundam Wing collaboration keeps appearing. Huhuhu...

Gundam Wing Night Oct 2019

I was not aware of this when I went to Japan in December 2019. However, I managed to get the acrylic sets when my friend went for honeymoon in Japan in February 2020. I am not usually into acrylic stands but I am such a sucker for Gundam Wing. Out of all the merchandises, acrylic stands are the only ones most worth keeping as collectibles. Lol.

Gundam Wing Gundam Cafe Tokyo Dinner Show Jan 2020

Gundam Wing Christmas 2020

Heero and Relena for New Year 2021

I tried to search for the merchandises from these 3 events in Yahoo! Auction Japan and Mandarake. The Christmas 2020 merchandises are the only ones available. Sadly the prices were crazy. Somehow I ended up in Mercari which had one reasonably priced. I have never used Mercari before and decided to use Buyee as the forwarder. There is another item from a different seller which I decided to skip since the consolidation and service fee would make that item too pricey.

Sadly my happiness was short lived. After receiving the confirmation order email, I somehow checked the facebook link in the email. Just half an hour before I registered for Buyee, they posted a link on facebook for 2000 JPY coupon for new registration. Darn!! I am upset that I just lost 2000 JPY although prior to this it would never cross my mind to check facebook for coupon code. Sigh.. I registered with another email to get the other item that I skipped earlier since I can use the coupon. Still, it would be awesome if I could save another 2000 JPY for the earlier order.

I will still be waiting for confirmation if the purchases for these two items would go through. Meanwhile I have to get ready to hunt for the next set. Yes.. this is still hot from the oven for Halloween 2021. The pre-order in Premium Bandai Japan is still open but all except Wufei standee is already not available. Haiz.. even when I am not late and theoretically can still pre-order this through proxy, the items are already sold out.

Gundam Wing Halloween 2021

While browsing further, I saw this watercolor set. This was already released before the monochrome set but sadly Premium Bandai Singapore never brought this in. If they bring in this, I will definitely buy everything except the T-shirt. This set is even better than the Tricolour set. I really like the colors and the illustration style for this set. The style of the acrylic sets is also very unique.

Miser

I am getting lazy to blog anything recently as I realise my life is getting monotonous and I will just end up rambling about the same things all over again. My mind is all about money, food, and not losing weight. All are inter-related and each takes turn to drive me crazy in varying degrees.

It looks very possible to keep my total spending for meals to below $200 this month. I do not have specific purpose for achieving this goal but this drives me to be a miserable miser this week. After every meals, I would calculate whether I would exceed and how much I could save for the weekends when usually I spend a bit more because the hawker center is not open. I was even upset with Grab hiding their 25% off for self pick-up promo today. There are ongoing 15% and 25% but somehow the 25% is not appearing unless I manually key in. The code is supposed to be active since last Saturday. The ridiculous thing is that the 10% difference is only equal to less than $1.50 of what I could have saved. Why am I so upset just over $1.50.

I failed to abstain from potato chips for the rest of this month with 2 packs of Doritos over the weekend. As usual, I regretted buying although that means I would not be tempted for Doritos anymore. At this point, I know only Kettles and Ruffles are worth buying for me but I will only buy when they are below $4 per bag. Even with this realisation, I am always tempted to get miscellaneous brands even though I know I would regret later on. Really addiction problem.

I do not know when I have the willpower to start my home exercises again. Haiz.. Despite the relatively strict diet control, I cannot lose further weight. I cannot cut my food even further as now I am only eating 1 meal for lunch and 2 bananas for dinner. I need to supplement it with physical activity already.

Haiz... see... I am just repeating all these things all over again. Perhaps to encourage myself, I should be proud that I was able to avoid 1-for-1 offer for Popeye's and Xing Fu Tang last week. Honestly in the past week, almost everyday I already put something in the Grab or Deliveroo cart but in the end I managed to restrain myself and just closed the app.

Wiped out

I am tired of trying to find a clinic where I still can register and get Sinovac. Out of the few I contacted last week, only one replied with no stock and currently not opening any more registration. I registered with another two clinic this week and both said officially no more Sinovac registration is accepted for first dose people due to stock. I am being redirected to Sinopharm registration which may be available in September. My stress evaporated since due to stock issues, it is no longer my fault for not getting vaccinated. Furthermore, I already told my boss about this so anytime my office allows people to return, I will just have to excuse myself. Thank goodness my gym allows me to wait until I settle my vaccination and give me the remaining 1.5 months membership that I still have.

One thing went down but another surfaced. I rarely removed my phone from the protective holder but somehow I did that on Wednesday to clean the dust. The back cover was coming off which was due to the battery being bloated. Thank goodness I was able to secure a slot at Huawei repair centre for the following day and I was able to settle my photos. Here comes the ridiculous part. Just because nowadays we cannot remove phone back cover to change battery ourselves, this has to be done at  the service centre. Changing battery should be something simple but I was told that it would take around two hours. The worst part was that the whole phone had to be wiped out. Seriously what the fuck. I just need the battery to be replaced and I do not need the operating system to be touched but they said it is the law bla bla bla.

I had to waste time walking around for those two hours. I could not even eat dinner thanks to the vaccination discrimination. The best place to spend time was at Kinokuniya but my attention span is greatly shortened now that I could not stay still just to read a book. I tried to browse some Japanese learning text book and I got dizzy after reading the introduction in a Kanji learning book. about onyomi (Chinese pronounciation) and kunyomi (Japanese pronounciation). I realised that I have forgotten much of what I learnt from my Nihongo classes few years back. Bleah... At least my friend recommended me Duolingo app so that I still can brush up.

The blessing in disguise from the two hours of standing around and walking aimlessly while waiting for my phone is that when COVID is over, I better practice shopping around before I travel overseas again. My legs are so painful and I cannot imagine how I can survive a day at Disneyland from opening to closing time. And I know just doing that for a day is not enough as usually I spend a minimum of two days. Haha.. In short, after 1.5 years of just rotting at home, my body will not be ready for overseas trip anymore. That also reminds me that I already stopped even exercising at home since the last round of gym closure. Haiz.. that means all my physical fitness is also gone.

I felt like an idiot after I realised that there is a back up option in the phone. I should have done that instead of just transferring the photos. So all the newly saved numbers since I changed to this new phone are all gone now. Haha... I am getting lazy to save numbers since it is easy to see who the numbers belong to in Whatsapp. I guess I can enjoy my peaceful and antisocial life even more now. Hehe... If someone needs me for something then I will eventually get the number again.

Sayonara Olympics 2020

2021 is like a year that does not exist. It was Euro 2020 earlier this year followed with the Olympics 2020. Despite being held this year, both events retain the 2020 as they were slated for last year and were delayed because of the pandemic. With the Olympics coming to a close tonight, the news will all be about COVID and vaccination again. And yep, the COVID is still 2019. Poor 2021.

In my previous post last week, I doubted if Indonesia could win any badminton gold so I was very happy to hear that the Women's Doubles won gold on the following day. Unfortunately I did not get to watch and join in the excitement as the match was in the afternoon and I was still working. Other than the badminton matches I caught two weeks ago, I only watched the final for Men 10m diving yesterday. Only after that I realised that I can actually stream meWATCH via laptop. That is goodbye to the app in the iPad. Haha...

As I am watching the closing ceremony right now, I cannot feeling sad about how cruel this pandemic has been. It reminds me of attending the closing ceremony of SEA Games 2015 and I imagined how more amazing this Olympics could have been if not because of COVID. To see the empty stadium and the quiet around the stadium is really heart-breaking. It must be quite sad for the athletes too as not everyone can attend the closing ceremony due to COVID precautions and they have to fly back few days after their last participating event. I also feel nostalgic when I see their landyards. I saw the landyards in Asian Games 2018 in Jakarta and it seems that despite they are all different Games, the design of the landyards is similar. Aaah.. I wonder if I am ever be able to experience this kind of involvement again. Nevertheless, I can only treasure the memories of SEA Games and Paragames 2015.

I am feeling miserable this weekend because of all the upcoming vaccination discrimination measures. Thank goodness at least Sinovac would be recognised now so I have pre-registered with a few clinics and now it is just waiting on when I can get a slot. I am not an anti-vaxxer but I am really skeptical about COVID vaccines which I think is just as useless as the annual flu vaccines. To me, what is the point of vaccination which cannot prevent disease. All the compulsory childhood vaccinations are effective to prevent those infections (e.g. TB, polio, DPT, hepatitis) and they are not just to reduce the risks bla bla bla. I know it is not compulsory for COVID but all the measures are as good as forcing everyone. Anyway since I have to do it to get the vaccinated status and all are quite shitty in terms of the efficacy, I choose the more traditional vaccine to minimise unknown risk with the newer mRNA technology and so far only Sinovac is available here.

On the bright side, it makes me hopeful of the possibility of travelling again. It is quite pathetic but I felt somewhat happy just simply of checking on how to renew my passport and about application for multiple entry to Japan. Haiz.. I wonder when life will be back to normal.