Conan-kun

To promote the latest Conan movie, Conan mascot is making appearances at Plaza Singapura for the past few weeks. I saw the news on facebook (with the picture above) and I gave it a miss because I thought he looked rather weird. However last week, my Japanese class classmate took a picture of the real thing and Conan really looks realistic. Lucky for me that today is the last day and yesterday someone shared the schedule of appearance for today. I managed to get 2 pictures at the Starhub entrance but he did not turn up at the HSBC entrance :( I did not want to take a picture when he was in the shopping mall as there would be a lot of strangers at the background and I like my photos to be free of strangers. Sadly, the weather was rather cloudy so the lighting was not very good too. Anyway I am still happy that I get to take a picture with Conan. Hehe..

Shame on me but because I was looking for Conan, I sacrificed church attendance for the 3rd consecutive Sundays. When I deliberately skip masses, it means I am in a FML mood. I still can't get over my appraisal :( When I was young, I promised that I would not play politics and I would always be true to myself. It is very sad when I have to accept that such idealism is not practical and I really have to stfu and just play the politics. There is no point to be honest and hardworking when it is not appreciated and it makes me hated by others. So I will just join the throng to just slack since that is what the bosses expect. By the way, I feel less irritated since the performance bonus for 'very good' is 1.2x. That is not as bad as I expected since 'exceed expectation' was only 1.3x last year. 10% of a month pay is still a huge amount though.

Talking about money, the highly anticipated pay adjustment turned out to be a bogus. I was hoping that it was as big as the previous adjustment as it was about 15% of my pay back then. This time, it was only like 3%. Seriously... Gone is my dream of hitting 5k before I reach 30 and that means I really should START UPDATING MY CV and start finding a new job or finding a masters course to do.

Haiz.. dear God.. please forgive me and please let me recover and get back on my feet soon :(

Detective Conan: The Darkest Nightmare

I consider myself a fan of Conan but not exactly a big fan. I read the manga, I buy the artbooks, and that's it. I don't follow the anime (too many episodes and I think it will be identical to the manga so it will not be exciting) and the movies. This 20th movie caught my interest because it was advertised before the screening of Young and Fabulous that I watched twice. Since it involves the Black Organisation and the FBI, I think it will be exciting although the trailer is not really exciting to make 100% eager to watch. In the end, I decided to watch it because I was feeling bored.

I am glad that I watched this because the actual movie is much more exciting than the trailer. It goes high-octane right from the beginning with the car chase at the highway. I find the kids cute when reading the manga but I find them very irritating in the movie. I guess that is another reason for me to avoid the anime. Lol. They bring the movie to a more boring tone during their adventure at the Tohto Aquarium. Beyond this point, we sort of know what is the story is all about and from then on, things are just getting more exciting and intense all the way until the climax. Honestly seeing the ferris wheel getting dislodged and rolling towards the aquarium (with the possibility of all our main characters dead) is more intense than watching Civil War or X-men Apocalypse.

One thing that irks me about the movie is how Curacao is introduced and killed at the same movie. Basically, the movie is like non-canon with the whole Conan's manga universe. I mean she is quite an interesting character so I think it is kinda wasted that she has to be killed off. However, apparently Conan movies that involve Black Organisation are always like that: a new member is introduced but then killed at the end of the movie. It will definitely be something I keep in mind before watching future Conan movies.

But overall, I feel that the $15 and the evening was well spent. Haha.. I am used to crying from touching moments in Japanese movies but I hardly find one that invokes the same intense feeling that this movie gave me. For that, I take my hat off to.

My Way

I have been pretty quiet with my posts for June and it is considered unusual because usually I tend to post (and vent) when things are going down the hill in my life. My life has been terrible for the past one month and it was SO TERRIBLE that I cannot even organise my thoughts to vent about it. There is a small part of 'self control' too as I worry that I may write something so bad that I may end up regretting in the future.

The reason why I am writing today is because I just had my appraisal yesterday. Obviously it was upsetting and the reason why I force myself to write about it today is to record down my feelings and thoughts for future references.

I know expecting too much will result in too much disappointment and that exactly what happened. I was hoping with me doing SEA Games and Paragames last year, this maybe my only chance getting an 'outstanding' grade. I did not and I wondered what exactly is the ruler to judge the performance if I cannot even get an 'outstanding' from doing events at this multi-national levels. Sigh.. I really think everything is rigged. When the time (for promotion) comes, they will just give a better grade to justify the promotion. At any other time, it will always be good regardless of what is being done. So yeah, those better grades are perhaps 'reserved' for the promotions only.

I acknowledge my weaknesses and I am not upset that those are being pointed out. What I am upset about is how achieving KPIs is being taken for granted. I am also upset about all the assumptions. While I am emotional and tend to be negative (and hence people may see me as being negative), I am actually okay with my colleagues. I always inform them in advance that I tend to behave that way in high stress situations but in general I am okay. At least I am making conscious effort to be friends with them as compared to others who totally cannot be bothered.

Well, points taken. It is tiring to be strict. So if you want me to be more flexible, to be more tolerant to mistakes, to be 'friendlier', and not too hard up on KPIs and SOPs, I will give you what you want. Next time when problem arises, don't look for me to find reason or to solve since that is what you want. I will take a step back (more like many steps back) since there is no point sacrificing that much for work. Don't find me when KPIs are deteriorating, when things are falling apart, when emails go unreplied, and when I seem cannot be bothered.

It has been made clear that if I don't want to change (to soften my PR skills), I will stagnant. Well, in return, I have made it clear that I am not going to be a pawn to fill in leadership positions as well. Go find and groom someone else that fits better to your mould but you will not also not get my task-orientedness. After all, it does not matter whether I do or I don't do, it will always be good.

At the end of the day, while I am feeling angry, upset, and disappointed, I have no regrets with what I have done or I have not done as I am staying true to myself. So yeah, I will play by your rules but I will play the game 'my way'.

Gunpla Expo 2016

Yesterday was my fourth time visiting the Gunpla Expo at Takashimaya. With the exclusives still not sold out, it seems that my Bear-san is a failed investment T_T Surprisingly there were not so many people although I reached at about 11am after I finished my Japanese homework at Ion Starbucks. Thus, I took some photos. I have to admit that I did not find it as exciting as Gundam Docks last year when I took photos right from the first time I went. Lol. I can't wait to have the next Gundam Docks and I hope they will bring the same Gundam Wing Zero Customs displayed in Hong Kong last year. Anyway, enjoy the pictures from my half-assed effort to take them.

Glad to see it with a pose instead of just standing stationary

The crowd arrived by the time I took the back view

SG50 Gundam at MBS diorama

Merlion Gundam is here as well

Gundam Barbatos

Gundam Bear-III Double Happiness version

I bought grilled squid ($5) and fried squid ($8) from Takashimaya food fair. I wanted to buy since a week ago but I decided to just get a fried squid ($5) from Taimei at Bishan which was a mistake. The quality of Japanese product is simply unrivaled by its neighbouring countries: the squid was thick and yet it was not tough to chew. I could bite it in small pieces. The one I bought from Taimei was so tough that I had to use my finger to pull the pieces apart. Bleah... The one I bought in Takashimaya also had a more superior flour which surprisingly did not fall apart to crumbs as I was biting pieces by pieces. It was a well spent $13. Lol.

I was tempted to visit LaTendo for one last time as Funan is closing at the end of this month but I decided not to if there was no sale. I checked the facebook page again last night and I realised that they are having their closing sale just for the weekend! I did not scroll down when I checked the phone so I thought their latest post was about the moving. It was actually a pinned post. So I went there this evening and I snagged Saint Seiya 10th Anniversary DX Display Stage. Not one but two for $40 each. I still felt the bitterness when I missed it during HLJ sale for 1500 JPY a few months ago. It is sold out now so there is no way I can ever find such a price anymore. I actually don't collect Saint Seiya Myth Cloth figures but the display looks quite cool and I am going to use it for my other figures. I am not a frequent visitor and in fact, I find it quite inconvenient to travel to Funan. But now I feel kinda sad that Funan is going to close. My most memorable memory is getting a Christmas figure of myself there a few years ago. Sigh.. The booth closed not long after that and I kinda regret that I never buy more of this.

I am in need of a new laptop but sadly there was no exciting closing sale for the laptops. Oh well, I think I have overspent lately so I have to put a rein on my wallet. JPY is almost 20% compared to when I went to Japan in September last year so buying things directly from Japan is getting more expensive. Haiz.. So sad I so quickly changed my leftover JPY last year. I am holding to AUD and USD in hope of making a profit but thanks to Brexit, these 2 are dropping. Sian..

Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans (Season 1)

Gundam 00 left quite a bad impression for me and I have not watched any Gundam series from then on. Thanks to the currently ongoing Gunpla Expo at Takashimaya, I decided to give Iron Blooded Orphans a try. There seems to be more non-Gunpla related merchandises released for this series so I guess this is pretty popular and I decided to give it a try.

Gundam series are usually dealing with the conflict between colonies and earth. Iron Blooded Orphans takes the conflict one step further to Mars. Earth has managed to make Mars habitable but Martians suffer as most of the wealth are sucked by the businesses and governments from earth. Earth itself is divided into 4 factions and the 4 factions do not go to war thanks to an organisation called Gjallarhorn which helps to end the Calamity War 300 years ago and to maintain peace up to today. Kudelia Anna Bernstein is the poster girl of Mars independence movement and her goal is to go to earth for a diplomatic mission for Mars' sake.

Gundam series usually run for about 50 episodes so I kinda expect this 25-episode run is only the first season. With the 2nd season already announced, it is still too premature to judge the series. But from the 25 episodes, I have to sadly say that this is worse and less memorable than Gundam 00. Sigh. The story is patheticly 'thin' and it takes maybe 20 episodes for the journey from Mars to Earth and another 5 episodes to go from their landing point to the city of Edmonton.

The conflict presented does not make sense and has little believability. How can be an organisation as big as Gjallarhorn which maintains peace of earth and space for the past 300+ years unable to defeat Tekkadan which is just a group of mercenaries? Yes they have the arayashiki system and they have Gundam Barbatos but it is an 'outdated' machine and I am pretty sure Gjallarhorn is able to have more advance machines. 

Surprisingly, Gundam does not take a center stage in this series as Gundam is considered a relic of the war 300 years ago. That explains the absence of exciting or memorable fights. We only have 1 significant Gundam Barbatos vs other lousy mobile suits controlled by mostly nameless soldiers whose death or survival does not really matter anyway. It is pretty sad for a Gundam series not to have memorable Gundams and Gundam fights. It is mentioned a few times that there are 72 Gundams so I am not sure if somehow they will all make an appearance in the second season.

There are too many characters (I cannot even remember what names goes to which face) but too little character development. Tekkadan is a group of orphans coming together as a family but there is little shown about their bond as a family. They keep saying that they are doing this together because it is a job and it is for money. That basically kills all the emotional aspect which can possibly utilised. With all the talk about "job" and "money", I can't help but feel that Tekkadan is essentially a business and simply wants to complete its job to escorting Kudelia to earth. And that is not exactly a protagonist that we are rooting for. Not to mention the last few episodes make it worse for them to be blinded by rage and revenge. Of course if we are looking from their point of view, I can understand their desperation and fight for survival. If they don't give their all and complete their mission, they will simply perish on earth. However, from audience point of view, they are not exactly heroes that I want to root for.

I think it is quite sad that Tekkadan does not realise that they are simply a pawn being played by bigger parties with their own business or political interests. That is an apt reflection of what is happening in the world today: there are people, especially in conflict regions, who are doing their best to survive and thinking that they are fighting for the good without realising that they are just being used by other people to enrich themselves.

So yeah.. another disappointing Gundam series and I think that this is worse than Gundam 00 which I already dislike. Well at least I am able to remember the name of the 4 pilots from Gundam 00. Lol. It will be interesting to see how season 2 goes but honestly, I doubt it will be good.

Dream on~~

Dream high... Aim for the stars.. Those are what people say. But the higher I dream, the more painful reality becomes. My friend informed me about $7m toto on Monday and despite knowing the impossibility of striking it, I told him to help me buy $10. After all, the possibility is only zero when you don't try at all. To console myself from the harsh reality, I was already dreaming of getting a condo, giving $500k to my friend who helped me buy, donating $1m to Daughters of Sts Paul who is searching for a new compound as announced during mass on Sunday, quitting my job and enjoying life simply from the bank interest from the remaining money. Obviously none of this happens.

I broke my promise by getting a limited Wing Gundam Zero Custom with pearl coating at the currently ongoing Gunpla expo at Takashimaya. My friend wanted 2 Beargguy III ver Double Happiness and I decided to buy 2 as well in the hope of selling it for higher price in the future. As the total exceeded $200, I got one chance of lucky draw. I had to spin this tin container until one ball dropped out and I would win something if I got a golden ball. I had 3 balls dropped but the golden ball was the second and hence I did not win. Aaargh.. It was soooo damn close.. I did not ask what the lucky draw prize was to prevent myself from disappointment and I am glad I did not.

I wanted to buy AAA concert ticket. According to the email I received, the sale would begin on 8 June at 1000. I logged in at 1008 and it was already sold out. What sorcery is this!! This is supposed only for their global fanclub members. I don't believe that there are that many to sell out all the tickets in less than 10 minutes!! I was still hopeful that perhaps the system was up but it was not the time to book yet. So I checked again in the evening and after reading the announcement carefully, the timing is actually 1000 CST. Google says that it will be 9 June 0000 GMT+8 and I waited past midnight to still get the same message that quota has been exceeded. Sigh.. I sent an email and I received a reply that the ticket is already sold out indeed. I did not even bother to ask how can the ticket be sold out at 1008 GMT+8 when the announcement said that sale began at 1000 CST.

My online shopping this week has been terrible too. I was so happy last week when I won an auction for all 38 chess pieces of Clamp no Kiseki for 2700 JPY. When the final invoice, I was shocked to see a domestic shipping charge of 1500 JPY. How can domestic shipping be as much as the international shipping from Japan to Singapore? Haiz.. In total, I spent 7000 over JPY for that only to realise an auction that ended at 7000 JPY for all 38 chess pieces + 12 books + box to place all the books + chess mat + and the display box of the 38 chess pieces. Damn damn damn!! It has domestic shipping and if I get this, I suppose I will pay 10000 JPY at the very most. That is only 3000 JPY more for all the additional things T_T I also realised Eijun Sawamura figurine that I bought during 40% off is not on 50% off.

Seriously.. what's wrong with me this week :'(

Young & Fabulous

With all the hype and promotional activities for this movie, I am pretty excited and looking forward to the movie. The trailer and the teasers look promising and potentially be a huge coming-of-age hit like Jack Neo's "I Not Stupid" and "I Not Stupid Too". Since this is a Singapore movie, the Singaporean words I will use to describe this movie is: a messed up rojak. The movie tries to incorporate too many things/issues/aspects which eventually become too messy and hastily wrapped up to fit into less than 2 hours of screen time.

Firstly we have the issue of bad parenting. Mrs Chio is an example of how parents with high expectations can drive their kids nuts and how parents should not demoralise their kids by calling them 'dumb', 'stupid', 'idiot' etc. The intention is good and everyone agrees with the points. But in the movie, when Mrs Chio repeatedly calls Jordan 'dumb', I thought it is done in a playful and joking manner instead of in a scolding or demeaning manner. Violet has a different issue with parents who have all the money in the world but not time for her and this gap is miraculously settled without any explanation with the time jump to 8 years later.

Then we have the issue of how social media affects our daily lives which I think is very relevant. We have teenagers' obsession with getting 'likes' on their social media by constantly sharing (sometimes inappropriate) things and even how parents wants to stalk their children's social media life. These issues are presented for comedy purpose and that's it.

Various types of teenage angst-issues are also presented: the nerdy boy (Royston), the pretty girl (Violet), the 'troublemaker' (Hao Ren), the bitchy classmates, etc. Sadly, the development from being 3 classmates to 1 clique is just too forced. They bond over cosplay (which I will talk about below) and suddenly everyone changes for the better: Royston is no longer socially awkward, Violet becomes less princess-y, and Hao Ren suddenly becomes a responsible young man. But their bitchy classmates remain bitchy. All does not make sense at all!!

Now comes the biggest issue with whole movie: cosplay. Despite being promoted as the first movie related to cosplay, it seems that the producer has no idea about cosplay to begin with. I am into manga, anime, and J-Pop but I am not into cosplay. What I am trying to say is cosplay is actually a niche subculture on its own. You need dedication to make your costumes and props and you need to have the confidence to 'be' the character that you are cosplaying as. It is not a HOBBY (like manga, anime, or J-pop music) that you can do as and when you are free or you feel like doing. With this is mind, it is impossible for someone to suddenly be into cosplay just to get more 'likes' on Instagram. Cosplay subculture is niche and has even less fans than the typical manga and anime fans (in fact, some anime and manga fans may actually hate cosplay) so cosplay is definitely not something you think of if you want to boost your popularity. There is hardly any scene showing the 3 main characters making their costumes which is the essence of cosplaying to begin with. The focus seems to be more on the acting part for cosplay competitions. Please visit an anime convention or something and you can tell how many people are into cosplay competitions vs people who are simply happy cosplaying. Lastly, if you really need the $1000, there are a lot of quicker ways than trying to win a cosplay competition. Seriously...

Despite all the negativities I mention above, the movie is still very funny, thanks to Henry Thia who plays Hao Lian (Hao Ren's father). Everything that he says is damn funny and although a lot of the jokes come from Singlish, Henry Thia is seriously funny and he does not need to overact to make audience laugh. Other attempts of being funny from other actors feel forced and unnatural.

Overall, I still think that the movie is quite rubbish. It feels so lazily made with no originality. They simply throw in elements which are proven effective from other movies such as currently relevant life issues and sure-funny jokes revolving around Singlish, cross-dressing, and sexual innuendos. I have to admit that the joke about the sausages and eggs is hilarious though.

Concerts

I used my off day yesterday to watch X-men Apocalypse again at the Platinum Suites with my last free ticket and half a day was gone just like that. It makes me feel old that I treasure time over money now. Sigh.. With that, I hope no one will give me free Cathay Platinum Movie tickets anymore. My first experience there 2 weeks ago was not very stellar and yesterday was such a turn off: the combo which is marked as 'must have' was not available (and I was watching the first show of the day!) and there were ticket stubs on the floor next to my seat (so much for the housekeeping and maintenance!). Two thumbs down!!

The first time I came across AAA was last year and it was a few months after their concert in Singapore. I thought it was such a waste that I only knew them after their concert. Otherwise I would watch their concert. Guess what: this September they are coming back!! And now it is my turn to be in a dilemma whether to watch. I have never been to any music concert before and the thought of having to jostle and jump around with the sweaty crowd is such a turn off. I am also very self-conscious as I am not very young anymore and I will be going alone T_T

The concert will be at SCAPE which means it is going to be a standing concert. Haiz.. I prefer a less rowdy and a sitting down concert to enjoy. The tickets are not cheap at $130 or $100. In comparison, I watched Wicked at MBS for only $58 (although the seat location was bad) and I watched Naruto Live Spectacle for $138 at RWS. Both were sitting down and at a more 'atas' location. The other thing which is bothering me is their Member Limited Fan Club Event which will cost $80. Is this a concert with a member-only ticket price? Or is it a completely different event altogether? Maybe I will end up YOLO-in and buying both..

Earlier I came across an advertisement for Tommy Page's concert in Jakarta when I was reading some Indonesian news website. It will be held next week at one hotel which is just near my home!! I can even walk to reach there. The price is also very cheap! The gold ticket is about $55 and that is already the seating one. VIP ticket is about $150. Compare about the pricing for the concerts here in Singapore, that kind of pricing will only get me a lousy category. So sad that I only know about this this late. I am not a big fan of him but I have his Greatest Hits album in a cassette. As a 90's pop singer, his songs sound quite similar to one another so some people may think they are boring. I think otherwise as his songs are typical easy listening 90's songs so the fact that the songs sound similar means that she songs sound similarly good.

The first song that introduced me to Tommy Page

I just spent $189 2 weeks ago for Kingdom Hearts Orchestra - World Tour at Esplanade. The concert will be next year May. Lol. Yes that's is very early. The sale started at 12pm and I bought it in the evening and surprisingly, quite a lot of seats were already sold. I bought a category 2 seat and the one I got was about 5 rows behind the last row of the category 1 section. I guess it was not too bad as compared to paying $255 for the category 1 section. A lot of the middle seats were already taken and my seat was like the 12th from the centre but it was still quite far from the aisle too. I am not too into Kingdom Hearts actually. I don't even know any of their song. Lol. Since I cannot get any Final Fantasy, because there is no Final Fantasy concert planned here, Kingdom Hearts is a replacement to experience a game-themed orchestra.

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Now I understand how people can just snap and become crazy. I am feeling okay physically but drained mentally. It is very miserable to feel like this day in and day out. So many repressed negativities and I am not sure I am going mad because of my attempt to repress them or I am already at my limit and all hell will break loose soon.

I never say I like my job. It is bearable and the reason I survive this long is because of the people. But people come and go.. and when the good ones have left, I am left with nothing to keep me going. I have no positive reinforcements to keep me going and everyday I keep repeating the same negative reinforcements: work is unfair, I am overworked but under appreciated, why is it me who get arrowed again, etc. I am so sick of everything! I can't multitask and I can't stand having outstanding jobs so I try to clear as soon as possible. People think I am free and I am very efficient and continuously giving me more things to do / vet / review. What's the point??

If I do not believe in God, perhaps I already end my life right now. I really wonder what His purpose is for me in this world. I see no place for me in this world and I see nothing I can contribute to this world as a human. I am pretty happy and satisfied with my life experience so far and I am okay to die now. I mean I am not looking forward to a lot of money to go around the world, I am not looking forward to find a wife and start a family, I am not looking forward to growing old and dealing with health problems. Sigh.. am I mad? Perhaps the other way to look at it is that God has been very kind to me to give me everything that makes me able to feel that I have accomplished enough with my earthly life.

It looks like that on top of patience and humility and strength to go through everyday, I have to start praying for a purpose in life :(

Matsuri fail

Super Japan Matsuri is going on this weekend at the Esplanade. I saw the advertisement for a few weeks on facebook and the event is actually generating a lot of hype. It made my Friday before public holiday much more exciting because I could not stop thinking of authentic Japanese food (especially Takoyaki!) that I might enjoy. I went there immediately after work and reached there at about 6pm. I spent less than 10 minutes before deciding to go home. Yup, this is the shittiest event ever and it is generating a lot of disappointment.

There is no festival atmosphere at all! The area is so small and there are only about 10+ stalls in total. People are queueing although we are not even able to see what they are queueing for. There is no label on the stall. With Singapore hot and humid weather, with that many people coming in, pretty sure there are a lot of disappointed and angry people.

As I was walking back, I saw my aunt!! Haha.. Her whole family was also coming for this. I told them I just returned because it was so bullshit. She asked me to follow them look see and in less than 5 minutes she said "Let's go to Liang Court!". Haha.. So yeah we got our Japanese food there instead.

We went to Meidi-Ya only after dinner and there were a few stall selling traditional Japanese food!! I was too full to buy some more. Haha.. I will go back tomorrow... Seeing rice-stuffed squid reminds me of my last meal in Japan when I was already so full but decided to force myself to eat those unique Japanese food. I see a lot of interesting Kettle's potato chips as well!