PR 4101: Pharmacotherapy II

It is now 5 hours after the paper and I had my afternoon nap. I still can't help myself from feeling tired, emo, and sad over the paper. I ran out of luck and did not spot the right topic for the writing parts so I am pretty much doomed.

The MCQs are very lengthy. 1 minute for 1 question is definitely not enough. Overall, I felt okay about the MCQ. But seriously, I don't know whether the questions are just factual or they are tricky. If they are tricky, then most likely I have fallen to the traps for many times. Because I actually did not find many tricky questions.

SOAP was terrible. At the start, when I read the first line, I was relieved to see "bla bla bla is being treated for heart failure". But when I flipped to the instruction, I nearly fainted, the SOAP case was thrombosis omg!! Grr.. I totally did not expect that! Anyway my mind just went blank and wrote whatever crap that I could throw.

The short answer section was 50:50. The first question about antimicrobial resistance was ok for me. I actually spent pretty much time trying to memorise those 3 slides. Unfortunately, I am just too stupid. I could only recall the first slide.. Sigh.. For the rest, I just wrote Beta Lactams for everything sigh.. The second question killed me -_-" I had no idea what to write. I even forgot the proper term "proactive"' and "reactive" cycling. Well, those terms came to my mind but I was not sure whether it was "proactive/reactive" or "prospective/restrospective". So I left them out at all. And by the handwriting, I think the lecturer can tell that I was just crapping. So much different from my answer for the first question.

Anyway I hate that particular lecturer la. I am so pissed that he keeps asking stupid questions.. Last time he asked about the various bacteria.. I tried to memorise them well now and guess what this time he threw in VIRUSES. So yeah I died again :( And the best is yet to be.. From 6 slides, now he expects me to write 30mins worth of essay. Oh yeah -_-"

In conclusion, it is a goner for me.. I am officially one class down now. A part of me feels happy and relieved actually. Since with that, I am no longer in borderline. It is unlikely to fall to 2nd lower so no need to be stressed over studies anymore. Another part of me feels sad.. All the effort and stress for the past years just goes to a waste T_T And why bother doing FYP anymore.. Haiz...

A study week full of distraction

The trailer for BOTH parts. I am sure the Part 1 is not this exciting :p

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 came out today! Aaah.. I was already getting distracted from few days ago from the trailer. Haha.. Based on my previous experiences with every Harry Potter movie, the trailers always looked awesome but I came out disappointed out of the movie hall. Still, WHO CARES?? I still wanna watch! I am very sad that Lido Shaw House (my favourite cinema) is closed for renovation. Other cinemas are not as good as Lido. Where else can I enjoy a large, cold, empty, digital, and relatively queue-free cinemal hall? I tried to check out other cinemas thru the net but mostly they are small halls and for the first few days, most of the seats were sold out. Perhaps that is a good thing. At least I am not that distracted to watch (since I cannot get a seat even if I want to lol). Anyway from the trailer alone, I have forgotten a lot about the story. Why is there a huge dragon? Haha.. Maybe I should read the book again :D Thank God my book is in Indo.. If it is with me here, oooh... Ah, one last thing, I think the music in the trailer is GREAT!

The weather has been kind lately. In fact, it is sleep inducing. I don't know why but I keep feeling tired.. and unmotivated. Even though I have more than enough sleep daily, I still can't help but to feel tired, especially when I start to read notes. Bleah.. I can just read my notes for 30 mins and I get very sleepy. When I decided to take a short break (playing games), my eyes will suddenly open. The best part is my short break is LONGER than my study time -__-"

Oh well, I am too tired to write more things.. I still wanna complain about lots of things.. my ugly hair.. my pimples.. my fat.. and my project.. T_T

Anime Festival Asia (AFAX)

I was not too eager or excited to attend the event as I don't really like cosplay and I don't want to see real humans ruin my 2D imaginations :p It was more of curiosity that drove me to go since this was my first time attending this kind of anime event. The entrance fee was $8. Add another $7 for the stage access. The event list was pretty ambiguous so I was not too eager for the other events too. In the evening, there was a concert and the ticket started with $55 for standing audience. I was not bothered about it because I thought the singers were not famous. Actually the singers were quite popular le lol...

To be frank, I was pretty disappointed. The exhibition hall was quite 'empty' meaning that there were not that many people rent the space. Considering that I hardly have time to follow the latest anime, I expected that there would be not many things I would find interesting and I would go home empty handed. When I attended this kind of event, I would always want to come back with something le :( In the end I only bought $8 worth of Saint Seiya Zodiac "coins". I was so happy.. but when I came back to open the thing, they are actually not COINS. They are just some lame plastic stuff... I don't even know what it is meant to be or how I can display it. Grr...

The entrance ticket and the 'wrist band' for stage access

The sign for Cancer is 69? How does 69 represent a crab? Haha..

There was one cute cat hat which I wanted to buy. I decided to look around for more interesting thing. There was nothing else interesting and when I returned to the cat hat shop, it was all gone :( Bleah. 

Below are some interesting displays that I took photos :)

Chopper. My friend's favourite!

Cool car with the AFA mascot

Saint Seiya Collection. $80+ per piece. Would love to have them all if I also can get the display case and diorama

More Saint Seiya stuff to drool on

Let's talk about cosplay. Honestly I am not a fan of cosplay but I have to applaud these "crazy" people for really putting so much effort for their hobbies. "Crazy" in a good way because the things which they created really made those props during Rag day seem trivial. I surprisingly find the cosplay competition quite entertaining to watch. Unfortunately, the audience was not really 'high' to spice up the atmospehere. Anyway I think it is very cool for these people to be able to go overseas, compete and win competitions etc just from their hobbies. Not to mention that many of them were very confident in posing and acting as their characters also up to the point of letting strangers even took photo of them. That was amazing!

My stand is still: some things are better left to imagination. Haha that's why I think my favourite cosplayers were the Red and Green Power Rangers. Lol.. It was because they wore a mask.. But after I saw that they got a bit of flab and when they turned around, the underwear mark was seen, it was quite disgusting and ruined my childhood memories haha

But the most shocking discovery today was that there were many guys cosplaying as FEMALES! They wore dress, wig, fake boobs etc, but they forgot one thing: their face! Gosh.. Seriously although there is term "crossplay" to describe cosplaying of character of an opposite gender, to me guys dressing as girls will always be CROSS-DRESS! Bleah.. There were quite a lot of them that by the end of the day, before saying this girl is chio or not, I would be more careful. Never know that they would be guys LOL.. Now I honestly doubt my ability to distinguish guys and girls hahaha...

In conclusion, I have answered my curiosity. Just some pointers for this kind of events in the future:

1) Come in the morning since there would be less crowd. You will have more chance to take photos and to shop. I was surprised that by lunch hour, many things were already sold out :( including the stuff I wanted haiz

2) Act like tourist. Lol! Just be thick skinned and take photos of the things you like

3) Don't think too much. When you see something nice, just buy before they are sold out.

4) Don't wear too nice unless you are cosplaying.

The last one is very personal. I still have 3 vests from Korea that I had no chance to wear so I decided to wear today. I bumped into 3 friends there and the first thing they asked me was "Are you cosplaying?". I was like -_- I thought I was wearing something normal. Haha.. Oh well actually on the way out, I saw someone wearing something like I wore, but he wore blond spiky wig ba haha..

Overall it was a pretty interesting day. For sure, I don't expect that there are that many otakus here. I think it's the event organisers who earned the most from the entrance fee. But the way these fans bought the souvenirs were also rather scary. And in the end, I still cannot decide, which is crazier: screaming fans over some boybands or cosplayers??

The big question is: Will be back next year or for similar event? Lol to be honest, the pulling factor for me to attend is the merchandise. Unfortunately, since I hardly have the time to follow the latest manga and anime, there would not be anything interesting for me :( So it will depend on my mood :p

I don't normally put my pictures here but well, it's a bonus for today :p

Pre-exam break

The end of semester and the end of the year is finally here but I am not excited at all. It is kinda ironic. I only have 2 examinable modules and for each paper, I have 1 week each to study. Yeah, it's all thanks to FYP. It really makes me feel there is no holiday, no break, and basically no life -_-". And I don't know whether NUS is too crowded or the new students are just too kiasu. Even in the last DAY of the semester, the canteen is still full house at lunch time. From my experiences for the past 3 years, usually 2 weeks before exam, the canteen crowd was thinning.. In some semesters, it was obviously that people were already start ponning even by mid-sem break..

My project is showing no signs of hope. And I am feeling down after the latest meeting. My friend was praised for being hardworking, being always in the lab, and successfully completing the most challenging part of the project. That means I am lazy and my project is chui ba haiz.. Perhaps I am being too sensitive :( But oh well, my stuff really needs like 24hours so of course I go home ma.. And to make things worse, everytime my supervisor sees me in lab, I am either falling asleep while waiting for stuff or I am leaving the lab. Sigh.. Oh well.. I think really cannot compare.. My steps really take 24 hours kind of thing.. To proof success or failure, usually it takes me 1-2weeks (including the TEM etc).. So everytime I fail, it is really a waste of WEEKS! It is not hours, not days, it's WEEKS!! Grr...

I know it is a wrong time to pick up a game but the game which I thought would not be too fun/addictive, turned out to be damn fun!! Not to mention that I will have fingers osteoarthritis soon at this rate haha. OMG! Haha.. I have problem stopping now :p Well, Dynasty Warriors Vol 2 really reminds me the Dynasty Warriors game that I played on GBA last time.  Whee.. Nice stuff.. Much better.. especially after I got so irritated with the Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce. Haha.. But well, it is quite nice to play the Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce with a friend.. Still, the Dynasty Warriors Vol 2 is better than playing the Strikeforce multiplayer LOL

Last week I also watched Megamind. Haha.. A friend of mine said that the guy looks like one of my lecturers! The clue is the HEAD. Hahaha.. I really find it damn hilarious imagining my lecturer doing things that Megamind does in the movie. It is a brainless kind of movie so just watch for fun ba. It seems that times and era have changed. Nowadays, the main characters in kid cartoons are always anti-heroes/villains.. I really wonder why. Lol.. Last time Despicable Me is about a thief. Even though in the end this villains turn good, I stil find it weird that the movies for kids nowadays are like this ba..

Today I went to AFAX (Anime Festival Asia) at Suntec. I will write a separate post on that ba.. Will be quite long :p I also went for a mass at Risen Christ. Woa it really felt weird that I did not feel "at home". And that supposedly is my parish le haha. The last time I was there was about a year ago I think. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised. Sunday evening mass used to be the most sucky and boring. But now they have a very good organist (not to mention that the chapel organ sounds fantastic anyway) and better/louder/more solid choir.

Ah that's all I guess.. I am sleep-deprived and I hope I can start mugging tomorrow ba

Setback.. again

I am getting tired.. pissed off.. and frustrated with my project.. again and again. I did my TEM imaging and again I did not get what I wanted to get. I felt super irritated during the process. My eyes were tired in focussing. When I observed things, I could not tell for sure whether what I saw was the reality or just a figment of my imagination. After all, you see what you perceive. Haiz.. Amazingly, I only found like 5 tubes in my whole copper grid.. This can be good or bad thing. The good thing is: perhaps if I re-do with another sample, I may get more tubes and can find the successful ones. The bad thing is: when I repeat and I get the same results, it means I have failed and wasted my time..

Emo emo.. So I took a break (again!) from lab. Thank goodness this time I rebound quite quickly. Tomorrow I will go back to do other stuff. Bah!

My braces would be removed soon. Yay! I don't think my teeth are 100% perfect though. Haiz but I guess I shall focus more on 'health' rather than 'beauty'. If I wanna get 100% pefect, maybe I will die with my braces ba..

Yesterday I also went shopping hehe.. And I found the continuation of the manga Messiah! Cool! The title is Metamorphosis. I honestly could not tell which books the stories are from. My guess was Book of Apocalypse. It turned out to be from the Acts of the Apostles. I prefer Messiah. Messiah is based on  Jesus' life in the 4 Gospels. So it feels more like a story. Metamorphosis seems choppy.. and really it's like collection of separate stories from the Acts.. I guess it is because the Acts is that way ba.. And maybe I am also biased in my preference since I enjoy reading Gospels more than the Acts haha.. No offense to St. Luke okay.

I wiki-ed and found out that the series will have 3 more manga to go based on the Old Testaments. They are not released yet but the projected titles are Mutiny, Melech, and Messengers. My guess is: Messengers => Life of prophets, Melech => Kings, Mutiny => I have no idea seriously hahaha... From the first 5 books of the Bible perhaps? And as expected from a bible related items, there are some criticisms. Well, my stand is: this is a bible-based manga, for God's sake! It is not meant to be a graphical representation of the Bible or anything like that. As a manga, I see no harm that some things are not 100% the same as the bible or with the infusion of some jokes to lighten the mood. I personally feel that the disciples here are more like school students and sometimes they are quite 'naughty' and 'playful' to one another and to their teacher a.k.a Jesus. And I am find with that. In fact by reading this, I often feel like "Eh got such thing in the Gospel meh?". Then I would actually open my Bible to clarify (at the bottom of each page, there is a reference from which Gospel reading the story is taken from.. cool eh?). So this manga has been sort of a blessing to me. I highly recommend :)

I finished my dvd hunting and I decided that I Not Stupid Too TV series is already extinct in Singapore. Gah.. And yesterday I had to go back to Jurong Point because the shop at PlaSing did not have the same offer as the Jurong Point branch. Haha.. I still managed to snatch the $5 Godhand Teru. Lol.. No time to watch though

Nice break

Thank God for the good-timed Deepavali holiday. I really need a BREAK! Gosh.. And this time I really used the break wisely. I slept thru more than half of the holiday. Haha.. No gaming no internet-ing etc. Really pure break: sleep. In the evening, I watched a few episodes of Desperate Housewives and that's it. Oh wait, I ran at night too! Haha.. That was my first ever since the Chinese 7th month. It felt kinda different though. Haha maybe it was placebo effect that it felt scarier to run during the 7th month. Lol. But I sucked ba.. I stopped after 10-15mins. Sigh.. Last time I could survive for 25-30mins leh! No wonder I am getting fatter again T_T

Yesterday I finally decided to go out and meet my Indonesian friend who moved here a few months ago to start working. I thought we could go to Marina Bay Sands but aah she went there already. As a good "host" (since I have been here for many many years), I asked her to choose a place and she chose Science Centre. Haha.. OMG! Oh well, I thought I had never been inside. After I saw the Tesla Coil thingy, I suddenly remembered that I had been inside! I forgot on what occasion. Actually Science Centre is not too bad ba. There are still many interesting things even for older people like me. In fact, some of the things would be too cheem for the kids I guess. The most interesting place, in my opinion, is the iSpace exhibition. It has all the futuristic stuff. Haha.. The home entertainment set was fantastic (I chose the Singapore Symphonic Orchestra). There are many wireless computer system so just use hand to play games, drag/click files etc. To be honest, I hope things remain as they are right now. It just feels weird to wave my hands/arms in the air trying to click/drag those damn files and cursors. Haha...

After that we had lunch at Jurong Point. I decided to try something I never had before from Swensens: the  apricot mayo fish thingy. It sucked. I could not taste the apricot mayo. It was not filling too. Oh wells =x Decided to get Wendys for dinner. Haha for the first time! Wendys menu has very little variety ba. Not really appealing to me. Lol. Taste-wise.. hem.. oh well, cannot expect much eh? After all, how much can burgers taste differently right?

I checked out CD stores and as expected, I Not Stupid Too is way too old. Sigh.. I think I won't be able to get the DVD eh? Sad.. Anyway there were a few Japanese series getting discounted to $5! Woohoo! I wanted to buy Godhand Teru but the shop only had 1 last set. I guess I will wait until tomorrow to get it from Plaza Singapura branch ba. I was still undecided to get Last Friends. The synopsis isn't too appealing but many reviews say that it is a good show! Ahh since it is also $5, I guess no harm giving it a try :D

I had another dream message yesterday and this time I hope that it will come true. I had a bad day yesterday. The machine that I was using was stopped halfway. It seems that the one who switched off was the prof who owned the machine. So I did not even dare to ask him what time he switched it off (I need my experiment to run for 24hours). I think my experiment failed so I was deciding to just sleep off and do not go back to the lab. But suddenly I got the message "Quickly wake up! Your experiment is successful!". That really gave me the enthusiasm to rush to the lab. Sigh.. Lets see what happen under the TEM next monday.

I am honestly damn pissed with what happened yesterday. I know that it is not my machine so I had to share bla bla bla.. but I think that really cost me another week. My mentor suggested me to use 500rpm but when I wanted to start mine, the machine was already being used with 800rpm. And with that speed, my sample sedimented very quickly. Sigh.. I totally did not expect that and I think that would contribute more to my failure on top of the dubious duration of time it was being shaken. Haiz.. Wanted to be a bit optimistic but then... Grr...

Today drug quiz was bad. Much worse than the first one. I came late! I was damn stressed but lucky the room was too small that when I came, they were still busy allocating and arranging seats. But tsk tsk tsk.. out of 20 questions, I was only sure for FOUR questions! The rest I completely tikam-ed. Looks like single digit is a sure thing.. But to be honest, even if I were given an extra week to prepare for the test, I would still do equally badly. There is no way I can remember every single details ba.

This evening I just had a Korean buffet with a few friends. Well, it was not as fantastic as my imagination ba. Perhaps my expectations were too high? Haha.. Of course cannot get authentic Korean taste outside Korea ma. I think among all, only the kimchi pancake is nice. Lol.. That's the purpose of me going so I guess I am pretty satisfied. Many of my friends did not eat beef so near the end of the meal, I had to finish 2 plates of the beef!! I would not be surprised if I start MOO-ing tomorrow! Overall, I felt pretty ok. I was full but not too full to the point of going to puke anytime. Hmm.. perhaps the trick  (do small jumps on the chair to push the food down) I learnt from Japanese TV show worked? Lol..

The worst thing that happened tonight was that I got molested by this small kid. OMG! After I took a photo, this boy suddenly just hugged me from behind. And due to his height, his hand was just nice grabbing my ehem ehem.. The kid looked pretty bratty oso so I just grabbed his arm and left him there. Siao! I had no idea how my friend ended up 'playing' with him and got beaten up -_-" Kids nowadays...

And the worse thing than the worst thing is that I LOOK DAMN UGLY IN ALL THE PHOTOS TAKEN TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Zz...

Bad boy

I hate hierarchy, seniority, experience-based stuff etc. Unfortunately, I can be quite hypocritical in this case. As much as I put conscious effort being a good senior, sometimes circumstances do not allow me to do so. At my workplace, I had always been in a bad mood for the past few events and unconsciously I became very nasty to newbies. In a crunch, I think my 'stern' became 'angry'. Bleah.. I kinda regret it and will pay better attention next time.

Anyway last Saturday event was quite crazy. I was given the drama script to give the cue! OMG! I am lazy to go to the details but throughout the thing I had to read the script and sometimes it was hard not to get lost since  they did not follow the thing 100%. During the songs, sometimes could not gauge the tempo of the song.. So when I went back from giving message in between the door (I was told that I was a bit loud), I lost the parts already. I think I was stressed because at the start, I was frantically searching where the play was at. I discovered that they were already at the 3rd page and the play just started! Haha.. To makes things worse, I had a newbie with me and a newbie on the door. Had to look after them and could not really rely on them for help. But thank goodness it did not go disastrous ba.

Yesterday's All Saints Day mass was pretty interesting. Haha ok I am being bad again here. I can imagine how embarassing it was for the choir to be stopped halfway because they sang wrongly. Lol. But even I never know that Litany of Saints for Easter and for All Saints Day are different! Oh well, but the choir yesterday was quite chui ba. More of being unprepared. The cantors kept going off tune, had difficult pronouncing names, kinda forgot the tune of the song, and the best was: the guy stopped for quite a long time in the middle of the song -_-" Well but I think the pianist was quite bad too la. Dunno why played so low and could not really tell the transition between parts and notes. Damn confusing..

My FYP finally can move one step. I am really praying hard so that God would just push those darn nanoparticles into the tubes :( Please don't let me repeat again T_T

And talking about God, this reminds me of the nightmare I had last night. It began with me seeing a beautiful beach and a white seagull flying. I forgot the name of the town/beach! Lol. Ok the nightmare comes after this part. I had no idea how suddenly it became tsunami -_-" For the first 2 waves, I survived because I hung on to lamp post. After that I had no idea how my friend could break the lamp post. Then it came the third wave. A very HUGE and TALL wave. Since my lamp post already broke, I tried to climb a tree but I could not because the tree trunks pricked my legs. Such a vivid feeling, I am really interested in what actually pricked my legs. I am pretty sure the lamp post that I hugged is my bolster :p Ok come back to that HUGE and TALL wave, I was just helpless and got washed with the wave. After a few moments holding my breath, I just lost and I died (I woke up) before saying "Oh God forgive my sins and let me enter your Kingdom".

Oh my God!! I am actually praying in my sleep!! and not when I am awake -_-" What's the matter with me!!!!!

Videos..

My days have turned into nights and vice versa. Haha.. I know it is time to study as exam is very very near. But the temptation to start a new game or a new drama is just too huge. Grrr.. Anyway I spent most of past 2 weeks watching various stuff online. It all started from random clips in Youtube. There were missing parts of 1 show (NEWS 24 hour TV). It was a very good and touching show (I had a good cry). Well unfortunately, I could found one part only (Yamapi went scuba diving with his paralysed friend). I still cannot find the part where one member actually did synchronised swimming with a wheelchair bound boy.

 

Gosh.. I think I just have a soft spot for the disabled  people and community service stuff :(

 

Did not make me cry but I find the instrument very interesting.. Never imagine that there can be a drum-like instrument which has distinct CDEFGABC kind of notes!

But guess what, Veoh has so many things and I don't know how many episodes of Japanese variety shows I have watched since. I am done with all the videos (which have English subtitles) from at 2 different shows at least.

I am tempted to watch Nobuta Wo Produce but I decide that it is not a wise thing to start a show now haha.. Thus I decided to watch my Desperate Housewives DVD. I thought since it is a comedy show, I could watch a few episodes, had a good laugh, and stopped. Guess what? It was too addictive (in a good way) and I stopped only at 5am. Haha.

Well I did not continue on that the following day (not so addictive rite? haha). But from some lame videos that my friend showed me, I kept on clicking "related videos" until somehow I managed to find I Not Stupid TV series. OMG! Too bad the TV series is just a repeat of the movie so I am not interested. But guess what: I Not Stupid Too TV series is a continuation from the movie. OMG! Haha.. And that's how I repeat another feat of sleeping at 5am again for 2 consecutive days. Haha.. The uploader is from China (I think) since all the title and description is in Chinese characters. I am amazed  thatI can find. There is no way I can ever generate the files even if I deliberately search using the English title haha..

Actually I Not Stupid is a better movie (I can still remember it while I cannot recally anything from I Not Stupid Too). Surprisingly, the I Not Stupid Too TV got more comedy than its movie. I had a good laugh and finished it already. It was sort of reminding me of my childhood naughtiness ba: quarrelling with parents, fighting with siblings over simple things like toilet, the fascination towards 3G phones few years back, problems with phone bills, what happened when maid balik kampung, lame schoolboys gay and sissy taunts etc etc. But I am honestly surprised that there is a Singapore production which I find pretty good XD But perhaps I find it good because it is funny. I think the scriptwriter is pretty smart ba.  

The best joke (to me) is that when the maid (her name is Yati) went to her hometown. The younger son said "now it is Ma and Yati" meaning the mum had to take over the maid's chores. The elder son joked "then it becomes Ma-Ti right?". Mati means "die". And it's true. The mother is always the first to die when maid is away haha..

Ironically.. from listening to Mandarin for these few hours, the only new thing I learn is "fei hua" which mean talking crap/bullshit/nonsense. Perhaps that word was used too much in the show haha..

My story: Chapter 8

It is 28/10/2010 now.. It marks my 8th year in Singapore. I have officially spent more than a third of my lifetime in this foreign land. The theme for the past year will be: GROWTH. While I actually cannot recall anything memorable from the past 1 year, ironically I can say that I have experienced personal growth.. Unfortunately, the growth is for worse..

I have grown to become really extreme in my stubborness, in my self-centredness, in any bad ways imaginable. Haha (this is a bitter laughter). Thanks to my CCA, I learnt to have an "I am never wrong" kind of attitude. It was hard to be faultless but well, that's a price to pay in order to not make people find fault at me and fight back when I reprimand them for their mistake. Some of my friends tell me that I have succesfully made a lot of enemies by doing so. But oh well, call it stubborn I guess? I am only nasty to those deserving people.. To the nice ones, I think I am pretty nice too.

I am also becoming more outspoken (again in a bad way). I no longer harbour any fear to "authority" or whatever. For example would be my preceptorship. I don't take a shit kind of treatment from my shitty preceptor. Again, I did not feel any wrong.. And I certainly did not deserve shit from her. I leashed out against her even up to the last day haha.. I even made complain to school. Wow.. Certainly I never imagined myself to turn to this kind of person. Good or bad? I don't know. I just defend what I feel right..

I have also learnt the art of making complains in various nasty ways. Mwahaha.. I scolded and screamed at PGP, OSA, SSC, Com Centre people during the internet breakdown saga. And this morning I just went down to have a screamfest with M1 Raffles Place manager. I wanted to lodge a complain about her but I guess I would just let my matter to rest since she refunded me anyway. I felt very bad for being nasty actually. But I just explode when I don't get the service I deserve. I pay fees for my hostel and I demand a good service. Weeks of internet breakdown was just ridiculous. Same for the M1 bitch. It was so stupid for her to argue that I need to explicitly demand student benefits when during my application, I shoved my student pass to the officer. Bleah.. Don't wanna talk about this.. Just the thought of her fat ugly face already wanna make me puke. Anywa, I think I was crazy because during all this scream fest, people around me would actually look around in shock haha..

Now back to the other side. In my part-time job, I am at the other side: the service provider, the one to get scolded. Lol.. I guess this made me become really thickskinned and to learn the art of "being irritating in a nice way". Well some people are just unreasonable.. and I guess I picked up the skills on how being a nasty customer as a return. 

As part of growing up, I finally reach the stage of being rebellious to my parents as well. Teen angst? Lol! I don't want to find fault or excuses but I guess it all boils down to money problem rather than communication problem. Haha.. I don't wanna argue regarding money with my parents who have brought me up, and as such I don't communicate about that well. To be honest, the trigger was just one simple thing: my father screamed upon hearing my $1k flight ticket to Korea. That really caused me to explode in ways unimaginable. Again, I am very sick with the shit they have placed me into.. And with forbidding me to even enjoy my life a bit, that was really going to far.

Anyway the only 2 things worth highlighting in the past year. Firstly: my FUNTASTIC korean trip! Whee.. It was just too memorable T_T Secondly: my trip to visit my grandma. That was my first in I have no idea how many years.

And to close this chapter in an emo manner, I will reitirate this point again: my life sucks and my future sucks. I hate my current state of education now.. And I hate the thoughts of going to work next year. Sigh.. I just hate my life I guess.. How can someone live but don't want to study and don't want to work? :'( But life is so short? Why must suffer and not enjoy this short life??