Preceptorshi*

Geez.. I had an awful today. The locum was a naggy old man. I cannot believe it.. He nagged nagged and nagged.. Firstly he nagged about the fact that the preceptorship is during the holiday. Then he nagged about the delivery man when goods came. Then he kept on nagging and nagging about costumers who treated pharmacists as one of salespersons. He was particularly damn irritated with people asking "where is the mask?" when the bloody masks were just in front of the pharmacy counter. How the hell they could not see that lol.. He also nagged about the fact that pharmacist is the ONLY professional working in retail.. (How true!!). He also nagged about sticking labels etc etc.. Sigh.. I was so bloody pissed that I was really tempted to just being rude.. So tiring to put on fake smile and pretended as if I was interested to whatever he had to nag. I hope I won't be like him when I grow old.. And to the nearer future, I hope my father will not be like him.

Though most of his nagging is true, I am simply impressed and agreeable with his despise towards this stupid programme. Funnily, he seems to be more irritated than me (who is directly in this shit). He mentioned about students' life and holidays only happen when you are a student.. and after finishing school you can work your ass of until the day you sleep in your coffin (obviously this is not his phrasing). He was also bloody shocked when he knew I only got $5 per DAY and I still had to pay hostel fee. His biggest irritation, though, was the fact that they send half-baked students which is as good as useless.. Don't know the law, don't know the mechanism, don't know everything.. Well, it's damn bloody true.. I guess my prescence there is a shame.. People ask anything I also don't know.. Even if I know, I have to say "Sorry.. I am only a student.. Please wait while I call the pharmacist".. Seriously if I am a member of public, I will think "Then why the hell are you behind the counter?".

An experience today: a guy (roughly my age) had a problem with this lips and the locum suggested a medicated lipbalm. Tadaa.. he could not find it.. and he asked me to help him... What a great choice because I also dunno where the lipbalms are wakaka.. I asked a saleswoman and she showed me.. I nearly died when I saw so many lipbalms so which is the medicated one.. I never know there is such lipbalm. After I browsed through, I gave him Sebamed lipbalm (the one sound most medicated lol) and told him to check with the pharmacist because I am only a student. He said: Wah I thought you are the pharmacist (OMG!! At least I look like a pharmacist wakakaka).. And as expected, I took the wrong thing.. Guess what? The correct lipbalm the just EXACTLY NEXT to the one I took. ALamaks.. Damn paiseh.. But I said sorry and the guys said it was okay. I think he was amused also haha.. Nice guy.. Because he is an indonesian mah hahaha... (I can tell from his accent).

Grr.. I really hate this stupid preceptorshi*. I cannot do anything.. just simply tag along my preceptor.. So what the hell must I be there? Is it useful? Yes to a very certain extent. But unfortunately, I don't see myself doing retail or (worse) hospital in my future.. So learning something which I won't use in the future is as good as useless.. What do I get? Knowledge that I will forget in the near future? Negative balance in my bank account? Calluses on my feet? Wow.. this programme is so damn beneficial.. I dunno who came out with this indigenious ideas.. Rot in hell you bloody shit..

Haiz.. lighter matter now.. I am into WaT songs lately. Haha.. It all started with the video below.

Cute right? Haha...

I cannot find this version anywhere :( Listening to the voice only is good.. but eye pain seeing the act cute girls aiyer...

First week of my "job" is over :) Now my weekend becomes Sunday Monday haha.. And everytime I meet any friends, I find it difficult to say what the hell I am currently doing.. Working? No because I am not paid. Attachment? No because there is no MC or whatever. So I totally don't know what I am doing.

Thanks to my cake shop experience last time, I was not very worried or what for this. In fact, I am glad that my preceptor is nice and that there is another student working (she is working.. and getting proper payment). At least when there is no business and during lunch time, I have someone to talk to and to eat together with.

I am amazed with my preceptor. She is really acting as a pharmacist and not as a retailer. When some people do not really need medication, she will tell them that whatever discomfort they are experiencing will go away and there is no need to waste money to buy medicine. Wow.. Such a good example.

Learning wise, she is very enthu.. On top of the very thick stack I got from Watsons on the first day, she still gives her own additional exercises.. Can do until die T_T She also knows when to spoonfeed and when to give answer so I find it quite enjoyable and makes me not hesitant when I want to ask anything.

My memory fails me again and again. I cannot remember the brands and what the contents are. That's the only stumbling block from me to fully handle costumers. I just find it totally not funny if after I ask the symptoms etc etc and when I turn back to see the cabinet (and all the drugs), I spend minutes to think (or worse, I start taking out and find which one I will recommend) before giving the medicine. If I do like that, I think the costumer will be scared also haha..

I guess that's all my thoughts so far.. I hope I can remember things better.. My progress so far: 1 prescription. But I haven't really written down the report on that prescription. Haiz sianz.. Still have exercises.. and dunno what H1N1 action plan thingy.. Haiz.. so waste time..

Really spoil my momentum to play game T_T and worse.. when I had an off day yesterday, the internet was shit T_T sadness...

PMS

Haiz.. the trigger was a game..
Holy crap..
I guess I am tired..
I need a break..
Why the hell my parent didn't want to bloody pay for my education in Australia?
Life sucks here.. School is shit.. and they think it's not shit enough that they want to make the holidays shit too..
Facilities suck like crap..
Stupid washing machine..
The dryer was also fucked up..
Wasted so much of my time..
The internet is also like bloody fuck..
Made my destress session become distress session..
I haven't prepared stuff for the holiday spoiler..

Jeez.. how much worse can things go from this..
This life is shit..
The world is full of shit..
The people are also shit..
But the worst of all shit is MYSELF.. I can rattle on and on blaming others.. but the root of the problem is: I should have rebelled against my parents. It was such a bloody fucktard decision to come here.. and what are they doing after turning my life into shit? Making my life even shittier

PR 3104: Pharmaceutical Biotechnology; SSS 1207: Natural Heritage of Singapore; PP 2106: Pharmacology I

PR 3104 - Pharmaceutical Biotechnology

The MCQ was not bad. And I was glad that there was almost no question from biosensor (the chapter I read 1.5 hours before the paper). When I saw the section B, initially I was like: Oh cool!! Application question.. This will be interesting.. Unfortunately, I am too naive.. The application part is only 1/3 of the question. The other 2/3? Gone case.. It was direct regurgitation from the chapter I hate most. Even crapping would not help as what I crapped about was totally crap. Darn!! The second question was more doable.. unfortunately, i didn't know which parts of the notes the teacher wanted. Another hopeless module.. should be something practical and applicable but in the end.. still have regurgitate.. so useless

SSS 1207: Natural Heritage of Singapore
Wasted my time reading the bloody book! Few things I knew are in the book. But I could not know where exactly! Damn la !! I just hope I still can S it

PP 2106: Pharmacology I
Such an anti-climax.. oh okay wrong.. it should be the climax.. the pinacle of my failure this sem..
I simply could not recall many important things.. I wasted 1 page of writing to realise that I could not proceed further and tried another question instead.. Careless reading made me waste another 1 page.. Not only I have lost marked for failing to do the easier questions.. I could not even finish the question which I crapped..

Aargh.. Fuck la!! I should not be in this country in the first place to be in the fucking education system

PR 3107: Pharmacy Practice II; PR 2105: Pharmaceutical Microbiology

PR 3107 - Pharmacy Practice II
Huhuhu... The test was a proof that my brain just sucks in memorising. So many marks were wasted because my memory failed me.. The first 15+ questions were disastrous. I only could answer 5 out of the first 19 questions. Haiz haiz.. The rest was like I never saw before. The few that I knew such as the Peak Flow Meter was forgotten :'( I thought the trap was at the standing up or sit.. And I don't know why I remembered the wrong thing (breathe in then slide down..) although I knew it didn't make sense.. Oh wells...

The flu section was disastrous. I made a fatal error of forgetting 1 class of cough medication. Haiz.. I forgot about expectorant T_T I think all the cough section is gone already.. Sigh.. still, I am thankful that it didn't come out in the section B.. Otherwise I am sooo dead.

I made another fatal error by missing out an important line: XXX has no other medical conditions. Sigh.. I realised that 2 minutes before times up. Mental block was up and I could think of other question to ask the patient.. I recommended Fleet Phospho Soda but I also could not recall how to prepare it.. Haiz..

Conclusion: I just suck in Pharmacy.. I cannot bloody remember things and I will never be able to remember on what to counsel.. Damn la.. So sad.. Now even B+ may not be possible..

PR 2105 - Pharmaceutical Microbiology
It was a direct regurgitation. Thank God that Cabal maintenance was stretched.. And I could finish the Kelsey-Syke.. The MCQ was not too bad so I suppose everyone would do very well also. And I would be in a disadvantage again.. Because I could not do the first structured question. Bloody fucking shit la.. For a topic which constitutes less than 10% of the whole module, how can it make 25% of the whole paper.. The fungi notes is just so empty and lack of information so how the hell I can crap so much?? I only wrote half of what I wrote for question 2.. Haiz.. Maybe cannot even get 10 out of 25.. Sucks la.. I curse the person to burn in hell..

Oh man.. I should be preparing for biotech instead of slacking -_-

The Fool

Waa.. I slacked (played game) more than I studied today.. I intended on re-reading biotech one more time tonight or reading law and diarrhea/constipation notes but obviously I did none. I only managed to re-read 1 set of biotech notes. Haiz.. What my friend told me yesterday is true, it feels better reading it for the second time. But still, there is just too much info to memorise. And I can't memorise.. The final few sets of biotech was read more in a hurried manner, especially the last one. I totally don't know what is going on. Sigh..

I know that I can do better if I were to invest more time in mugging. But I am just too lazy. How foolish is that? Still being so foolish even after knowing own foolishness.

Microbio self-pawn learning results are out. I have to say I am totally shocked that I got so high. And I didn't prepare for them at all. How good will it be if my shooting skills are that good for REAL exams.. But obviously, that is not gonna happen. That's the irony.. when I have more things to consider before tikam, I tikam wrongly.. When I have nothing to consider, can tikam correctly..

I see a light.. a possibilty.. of getting an A for microbio. So shall I read that again?? And shall I read biotech, which is still very open to get an A-, again? Haiz.. Pharm Prac is totally hopeless already.. The thought of mugging it for 4 days to dream on getting good grade for it is just plain dumb--stupid--foolish..

BleaH I shall sleep earlier today.. I hope I will not make a foolish decision on what to study tomorrow...

Mugging Marathon

Woaa... I am surprised with myself today.. I studied for about 9 hours non-stop. I didn't sleep at all although there were few distractions here and there to eat, pee, read newspaper, and print notes. What a self-discovery. I never know my full mugging potential. I shall see whether I can repeat the same feat tomorrow. And I am feeling dead tired right now. I guess no more mugging for tonight.. Haiz.. I can just do another set of notes.. but oh well.. Anyway... how long I study and how much that my memory retains are totally independent. I am so sick of mugging that even while waiting for bus, I refused to re-read the sets of notes I read earlier on this morning which obviously I have completely forgotten. I read the questions people asked in the forum and I was stunned.. I catch no balls. Don't know why people think so much and don't understand why the teacher answer even much-er.. Die die die...

The mugging spirit is scary!! The library was fully packed and I could find no seat. But thanks to that, I sat at the newspaper reading area. With the larger volume of traffic there, I never ran out of things to distract me.. and that is the reason I was not falling asleep. Haha.. So paiseh mahz.. I shall see whether I will chop seat there again or I shall find a 'proper' mugging area. Lol.. Must not lose the spirit..

Haiz.. I shall treat myself tonight.. I shall play game and have a really good night sleep :)

Oh my.. My study plan is a failure. I did Microbio too slowly. And now my aim to finish Biotech in 2 days is just ridiculous. Shall I extend it to 4 days? Haiz.. That will cut Pharm Prac revision time even shorter. Grrr.. Difficult decision is to be made: to try scoring for Biotech as Pharm Prac is already hopeless or to take risk for Biotech while trying to avoid a C for Pharm Prac. AARGH!! I hate my course! So dumb, put everything so close together and leave 1 week for Pharmaco whose whole syllabus have been mugged for CA.

I am losing my drive to study today. I was so glad after finishing 4 sets of notes.. before I realised that Biotech has 20 sets. If I were to finish in 2 days, I need to finish 10 today. And where am I now? I don't know.. I don't wanna know.. I don't wanna count and freak myself.. I'm only at L10 which I believe is actually only the 8th or 9th set.. Darn.. Never read this set (and the sets after this) and I ponned some lectures. It's gonna be impossible to finish 10 tomorrow. Die die die.. CAP will drop somemore..

Okay enough of the stressful thing. I wanna talk about British Got Talent. Haha.. The second episode was not as hilarious as the first one (in fact, it was not hilarious at all). I find the stripper from episode 1 was soo hilarious. Not because of the act but because of the (changes in) expressions of the judges, especially those of Amanda, throughout the 1.5 mins act. It is so good to watch it as a destress session. Haha.. Another funny one is when the Indian guy tried to burst a water bottle. When the bottle burst, the MCs jumped and it was damn entertaining. Wakakaka...

Cabal makes me stressed and irritated because nobody is buying my items. Lol.. But still, I am playing it everyday. Haha.. It was not as distractive as during the term time though. Oh well, that means I am a slow learner.. Already cut short play time, still finish so few sets of notes..

The day is gonna be over soon. And tomorrow I will have to study in library.. I am left with $2 in my wallet. I need to withdraw money. And I will be glad to eat other than sickening PGP food. Not that Science food is not boring either.. I am hoping for a miracle.. that studying in library will be effective. So far, it has been less effective than mugging in my room... The quietness and the cold make a potent sedative effect, especially since the last few days have been awfully hot!

Susan Boyle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Too bad all videos have the embed feature disabled so I can only put the link. It's Susan Boyle.,The latest world sensation. Only about in one week and that video alone was viewed by almost 25million people. She gave a lesson to the whole humanity (and especially to one bitch at 1:25 among the audience who sniggered at her) that looks are not everything. Now now.. who would expect someone with a packaging like hers hid such a good surprise for everyone. Isn't it wonderful that she turned all her critics to her favour only after the first line?

So perhaps.. I have something that I have not discovered yet.. Well I wonder what it will be.. I don't have the brain, nor the brawn, not also the look, I cannot bloody sing, and music/dance/arts are also not my cups of tea.. That leaves me with nothing, doesn't it? Oh well...

My heart aches..
My stomach hurts..
My memory fails..

It's 9 days left till exam.. I wonder how I am going to prepare... I am just too stupid.. My pharmacy practice disappointed me.. I got 60 while other people are getting 80s.. I was chosen into this course not because of my ability, it's just because they have some spare quota for international students. I really cannot take it... There goes my 8 CCA points for next academic year.. I will no longer able to maintain my first class honour. I hate practicing so much.. And perhaps that's why I am cursed.. After all, only those who cannot make it will practice.. Oh well, I should focus my attention to other modules which still stand a chance on getting good scores..

I am tired...
Pretending that I am happy..
Pretending that I am strong..
Pretending that I don't really care..
That I am satisfied with the shit results I got..
That I am able to accept the shit results I got..
It's all fake..
Sigh..

What is the consolation I can have? That there are still other people doing better than me? Haiz.. I don't need such thing! My world revolves around me and I will only be happy when I am doing well.. even if other people are doing better..

At least I had a good bday celebration on Monday and I had a new good photo ^o^