Cranky

The exchange of stopping junk food for Genshin Impact BP is working very well. After I bought BP, I became cranky and of course succumbed to getting potato chips again not to 1 but to 3 bags. Sigh.. I am upset because my weight does not seem to be dropping despite only eating one proper meal daily, cutting of all the junk food as well as sweet drinks at lunch. I do not mind the 'suffering' if I can see any benefits. I know maybe I am too impatient since it is just barely 2 weeks.

Addiction is scary. When I deprive myself, I get cranky and crave for my potato chips. Yet after fulfilling my cravings, I always end up feeling sad and regret which is not worth the 10-15 minutes of the joyful eating. Initially I was thinking of resuming my sweet drinks again as I do not feel sadness or regret as compared to potato chips. Ironically I read an article about sugar content and after checking the amount of sugar in each bottle, it becomes very easy to decide that I will stop the sweet drinks. Hahaha... Occasional treat during the weekends may be okay but I am definitely not tempted to have one bottle daily anymore. After all sugar is the number 1 enemy vs losing weight.

After all these food denial, the next thing that drives me crazy is: what is the point of living if I cannot enjoy my life? I cannot seem to lose weight despite eating only one proper meal so how would I able to squeeze in sinful food as one pleasure in life. I am not really a foodie but during this COVID time, there is nothing else that can really make me happy. Gaming does not give me as much joy as when I was younger and I am getting bored of watching dramas. My sleep time and slack time are often ruined by the fucking maid in the house. Bleah...

The only obvious benefit from restraining myself from all the junk food and food delivery is the money saved. Then again, what is the point of earning money if only to keep them in the bank? Having said that, the dividends for my POSB Invest Saver came in this week. Upon checking how much I have, I am considering to withdraw all and re-use that amount for investment with my financial consultant. The capital I have put in is not growing and it has been almost 6 years since I started. Based on the dividends alone, POSB Invest Saver gives around 3% return annually while the investment with my financial consultant is giving me about 10% per year. Of course 3% is better than normal deposit insurance and I do not regret because previously I cannot fork out a lump sum for the investment product. Now that I have enough for the lump sum, naturally I am inclined for the one with higher return. Aiya... see la.. thinking about money also makes me cranky.