Toxic week

I did not work this past week as it was a year end appraisal week. It was my turn to be in the office and at the start of the week, I was tempted to request to work from home instead since it would mostly be online communication. In the end I did not request that as I really needed the double screen. It was quite stressful this time as the timeline was very tight. Everything had to be completed within this week while I only had time to prepare from last Thursday. Due to some IT issue, I could only start on Friday afternoon so it was a mad rush. Thank God everything was completed.

I am not looking forward to prepare for my own appraisal. Sigh.. I realised that I spent so much time dealing with people but that is not a big chunk of my own KPIs. So overall, I think I would not do that well on paper, especially with the recent toxicities from the bitches. Haiz.. My boss told the big boss about the recent saga as my big boss was hinting about it and seemed to try to get me to talk about it again. It is difficult to remain on the moral high ground. I hate hypocrites and people who do dirty politics so I have to prove that I am not one of them. I just have to remain objective and mention about the situations, instead of the people since really I actually have no issue with the bitches. How to even have issues when I work so little with them this year. Now my "issue" will be the broken trust. These bitches simply destroyed whatever working relationship there is.

Coincidentally, my friend who is a lecturer in a polytechnic told me a few days ago of a vacancy in case I would be interested to apply. I am actually quite settled in with my current work but because of this recent bitchiness, I would be considering another job if there is. I was ready to update my CV this weekend but my friend just informed me the latest update that the vacancy is not confirmed yet. Oh well, after all the vacancy was not officially advertised yet. When my friend told me about it, it was more of registering of interest or something.

The toxicity somehow also spilled over to other aspect of my life for this week. My gym is closed until new year for renovation so I temporarily have to go to Orchard branch. It is a new branch and I am interested to try. It is good that when it opened, I did not transfer my membership there. Going there is quite stressful because of the traffic to Orchard area. I was always worrying whether I would be late. The gym itself is much bigger and brighter but I prefer the more compact, cosy, and dimmer Holland Village. Haha.. It is nice to see some familiar faces as some coaches have been permanently assigned to the new branch after its opening.

I donated blood on Tuesday and had my haircut. I was very suay with my haircut because the other customer who was in the shop with me was a crazy guy. He quarreled, argued, shouted, and screamed at the auntie cutting her hair. The conversation was in Mandarin so I did not really understand. What a reminder my crazy front line days dealing with such crazy customers. Anyway the auntie was equally stupid. I think she had no customer service training as well since she retaliated and the best part was she took photo without permission. Of course that triggered the crazy guy even more. Wew...

On Thursday, I also received an emo update that the clinic where I am currently volunteering will no longer operate on Saturday from next month. Sigh.. If I am interested to continue, I will have to go to Mandai which will open on Saturday. Bleah.. I have never been there and it seems to be more troublesome to go there as compared to Geylang :( Nevertheless, I have decided that I will give it a try instead of following my lazyness. After all, I have always wanted to participate in some volunteering activity. Finding one which can be done on Saturdays and make use of my license is already a rare opportunity.

My spiritual life also took a deep dive this week. Work is really a huge destroyer. I felt so bad despite completing the last 3 days of the Novena this Monday-Wednesday. I felt that I was just watching the Mass out of obligation as I wanted to participate. Sigh.. I ended up feeling very irritated with the priest for the very boring Mass and so on. I also skipped my evening prayer for the whole week as I was too tired although that partly because of gaming.

The shittiest part of the week was when I was filled with so much anger and prejudice towards the maid in my current rental place. On Thursday, I realised that I ran out of my working pants and I thought she stole it :( Oh my gosh! I was filled with all the dark thoughts that she stole it and perhaps gave it to someone and so on. In the end, I found them. I could not find them initially because after ironing, the pants were put in the same hanger with the working shirt. That was really a wake up call for me to not to lose my cool at work with others especially with all the bitchiness going around.

The only good vibe for me this week was that I sold Spiderman golf balls that I bought from USJ in 2015. Initially I also got agitated with the buyer for asking so many questions despite me sending the photos. I did not accept any nego and the buyer agreed with the $35. Yay. The best part is she arranged for a courier to pick it up from my office. I think she needs it urgently for gift purpose. I never set up any Paynow but I set it up this week to facilitate this transaction. Haha..

Next week is Christmas and I hope that next week will be better. I have to be thankful that I get Christmas and New Year weeks as my working from home week. There is a high chance I will be emo again because of my appraisal this coming Wednesday but I have been preparing myself not to lose my call. All of us have our own strengths and weaknesses, let's say 80:20. I will accept the '20' but I will not my '80' be affected by the toxic bitches. I have prepared my punchline: Appraisal is about me and I am not going to compare myself with others. Highlighting others' weaknesses change nothing about my own strengths and weaknesses so I am not going to be like others who think by highlighting my '20' can help with their own 80/20. Oh perhaps, they are 70/30 or 60/40 and hence jealous of me :p The last sentence, of course, is just in my mind. Haha.. I am not going to let myself be as bitchy as these bitches too.