Psalm 113

I usually try to avoid blogging about religious stuff as I feel that religion and relationship with God are something private. However, I usually write a note after a confession as a record since the first part of confession is always the declaration of how long since the last confession it has been. I am glad that I did so as this time, my blog posts are really helpful to remind me that my last confession was pre-Christmas 2016 and there is nothing since then as verified by separate posts of "I almost did not attend any mass at all for the whole 2017" and "I started to attend mass regularly this August after throwing resignation letter".

Believe it or not, the Devil is always trying to stop me from coming nearer to God. Yesterday I was so eager in preparation for confession but today I felt so lazy. There were so many excuses passing through my head to not go. Yep the same thing that happens every weekend as I am preparing to go for a mass, or when I want to go for my monthly volunteering, or when I am interested to join any church ministry.

Thank goodness I overcame the temptation and went for the confession. I definitely feel much better now. I felt so touched when the Father said "welcome back". Yes, being away for 1.5 years is very long. It made me realise how messed up my life had been because of work. Today is coincidentally exactly 3 months at my new job and never even once I regret or look back to return to my previous job. That feeling is enough to prove that my life is much better now.

Lying is something that weighs me down the most and presently 2 lies are still haunting me. I lied when I wanted to quit my job because I had to be politically correct. I lied to avoid meeting my parents when they came here 2 weeks ago because I wanted to standby my principle that I am super unhappy (present tense because I am still angry right now) that they flew by Lion Air. Grudges.. Anger.. They do nothing good and they just damage me. Knowing myself, I know it is not easy to let things go. At this point of time, I can only pray for the grace to let things go. Again I am very grateful for what the Father said that this body is a temple of God and I should get rid of all these ungodly emotions to allow God to settle.

I had been away for so long that I was very confused with the whole confession process. Last time, the church was darkened, people queued for the confession, went to the pews for the penance, and left. Today when I went, the church was bright and there were so many people sitting at the pews. The screen showed that for individual confession, we were asked to start immediately with how long since the last confession, and there was no need to say the Act of Contrition. I am still asking my friend for an explanation to understand this format. Haha..

Another new thing for me is about the penance. Instead of prayers, I was asked to read Psalm 113. Actually I am not sure if I heard correctly but I shall presume that what I heard is correct.

Psalm 113 New International Version (NIV)

1 Praise the Lord.[a]
   Praise the Lord, you his servants;
    praise the name of the Lord.
2 Let the name of the Lord be praised,
    both now and forevermore.
3 From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
    the name of the Lord is to be praised.

4 The Lord is exalted over all the nations,
    his glory above the heavens.
5 Who is like the Lord our God,
    the One who sits enthroned on high,
6 who stoops down to look
    on the heavens and the earth?

7 He raises the poor from the dust
    and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
8 he seats them with princes,
    with the princes of his people.
9 He settles the childless woman in her home
    as a happy mother of children.

Praise the Lord.

I am looking forward to a blessed Christmas and I hope this is a U-turn for the better in my life.